Tag: hatred

Depression

On By Michel McDonaldIn BullyingLeave a comment

depression-1

Do you mind if I vent for a minute?  I wouldn’t normally blog about this because it happens to me a lot, but sometimes I just have to get it out.

Imagine being in high school and the other kids are pointing and laughing at you because of whatever reason.  You don’t quite fit their definition of the perfect human, so they point and laugh.  Well, imagine being 42 years old and people (adults) driving by your house while you’re walking the dog and they slow down as they are passing you and are blatantly pointing and laughing at you.  Not just one person in the car, but the driver and his three passengers.  It doesn’t feel good, I know because that happens to me a lot, in fact it happened to me again today.

There is an apartment building in our neighborhood that just so happens to be a section-8 apartment building, not that there is anything wrong with people who have to be on section-8, but that apartment seems to attract the lowest of the low.  There are mostly gang members and ever since they moved in to that building last year, they have been calling me “Big Gay Al” whenever I ride to the store.  As a matter of fact, I was exercising on my bike, riding 23 miles a day trying to lose weight and it was their “Big Gay Al” that made me stop riding.  It put me in a deep depression and I just gave up on trying to lose weight.  Since then they drive by laughing at me.

What’s funny is that they walk by the house all the time either alone or in groups and never once say a word to me, it’s only when they are in their car when they start spewing all this vile hatred at me.  That to me is cowardly.  I mean, calling me names is cowardly on it’s own, but doing it in a way that they don’t have to worry about confrontation because they have a vehicle to drive away is even more cowardly.

Look, I know it’s not going to be the rest of my life, that these asshats are only here until either their lease is up or until they get so many complaints that they end up getting evicted, but it still hurts that I have to be the target.  I’m sure they pick on other people, but I seem to be one of their main targets.  And it’s not just them, there have been other tenants who have targeted me and they tortured me for the duration of their tenancy in that building.  I don’t know how or why I have become the target though.  Is it because I am bald, fat, gay or all of the above?

I am just so irritated.  I’ve been down in the dumps the whole day because of it.  When I get upset I have panic attacks and all of a sudden I’m really hungry and have to eat whatever I can get my hands on.  I don’t want to blame people for my obesity, but they are certainly a factor.

“It Gets Better!”  I just have to keep telling myself that.

I just want to cry my eyes out because I don’t know what else to do.  I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I know blogging about this didn’t make me feel any better, but it was a step.  I’m sorry you had to read that lol.

Publishing My Book

On By Michel McDonaldIn Books, eBookLeave a comment

I spent this summer writing my life story into a 289 page e-book.  It took a lot of time to write and it has taken even longer to edit because I am not what most would consider to be a writer.  I barely manage writing a blog, I have a difficult enough time thinking of what to write in a greeting card.

I have already copyrighted (pending) my book (title and unedited contents) so that when I am ready to publish it, I won’t have to worry about waiting for the copyright to kick in.

I have already signed up with Amazon and Barnes & Noble as a self publisher, which was so easy that anyone can do it.  I also wanted to sign up on the Rainbow Ebook website as a self publisher because I want to support them as an e-book store.  It’s nice to give back to my community in any way that I can.

As soon as it is completely edited, I will publish it and start advertising and promoting via here, twitter, Facebook, my space and anywhere else that I can advertise it for free.  I may even pay gay and gay friendly bloggers to advertise it for me.

I am not looking to get rich on this book, in fact I mean to do the opposite.  I can only make so much money per year on top of my disability so I can’t get rich off of it.  I am only going to sell it for $6.99 so that I only profit a few dollars from the sale of each book and 10% of those profits will go to charity.  10% from Amazon, B&N and Rainbow Ebooks combined will be split up to go to the Human Rights Campaign, ChildHelp.org and Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors fund.

My book will hopefully raise awareness to so many issues in our society about the way children are being raised to be as abusive, racist and bigoted as the parents who are raising them.  I feel it’s important not just to tell my story about the trauma I went through, but hope that it will help parents to change their hateful ways and views and know what they are doing to their children when they raise them full of so much hatred.

I wanted to be able to publish it before Christmas but then I got to thinking that it’s not the kind of thing you want to read during a happy time of year.  Instead, I will probably publish it after Christmas or maybe after New Years.  Keep in mind that it is still being edited so it is possible that I won’t have it ready to publish until January.

So until then…

Update: I signed up for the free trial of Grammarly and was shocked to see that they raised the price from $20 to $70.  I thought that I would just go ahead and do the trial and get it done as quick as I could but it was catching too many errors that weren’t even errors.  So screw that, if my grammar checker in Open Office doesn’t show me those errors then they aren’t errors in my opinion.  I will read it one more time and fix any errors I think need to be fixed and then publish it when my copyright goes through or January like I said before.

No Treats for Obama

On By Michel McDonaldIn PoliticalLeave a comment

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XivhwO_zWWg

“Opie is extremely picky about who he takes his treats from.”

The only thing that I can think is that this woman and her husband must do a lot of Obama bashing in their home because the dog wouldn’t do what he does in the video if they don’t. They must also tell him that Obama is bad and they have probably taught him to bark at him when he’s on the tv.

Dogs are smart but they aren’t that smart that they won’t accept a treat from Barack Obama.  If I handed my dog a treat and said it was from Barack Obama she would be like “uh yeah… whatever give me the damn treat” because I don’t bash Obama to her.

This goes to show that hatred isn’t just taught to people, it’s also taught to dogs. I bet they also offer treats from gay people and the dog turns his head away.

Gay Teens Commit Suicide Thanks to Bullies

On By Michel McDonaldIn Gay RightsLeave a comment

It’s Time to End Teenage Bullying – via The Ellen Degeneres Show

I just heard the news that 5 teenagers have committed suicide in the past 3 weeks. These kids were bullied in school and/or outed on the internet as being gay. They just couldn’t take it anymore so they killed themselves.

I heard that one of the 13-year-old boys hung himself.  13 years old!  You cannot imagine how bad he must have been made to feel to hang himself.  I don’t know the circumstances or the way the other ones killed themselves but things have to be pretty bad to get to that point.

My heart truly goes out to the parents of these children as well as the children who are going through this.  You know, when I was their age I was this close (holds fingers close together) to doing the same thing.  It’s bad.  It really is and I know how they feel.

I would like for all parents out there to please sit down with their children and tell them that being a bully is such a waste of your teenage years.  Stop teaching your kids hatred and to be a bully and start teaching them that it doesn’t matter what color someone is, if they are fat, if they are gay or even the slightest bit different from them.  We are all human beings no matter what.  There is no reason to go around bullying anyone period!

I would also like to send a message out to all of the LGBT children out there.  I know first hand how bad it is for you.  I was a teenager once myself.  I endured the bullying for years but I had to keep telling myself that it’s going to be better someday.  It won’t last forever.  Just keep telling yourself that.  Ignore what the other kids say or what they call you because in 15-30 years they are going to have children and there is a 50/50 chance that their children are going to be gay and come out of the closet.  They will have to learn tolerance then.

Your life is too precious and valuable to do that.  Please, if you feel you need to talk to someone, use these resources that Ellen Degeneres has put on her website (link above).  They can help you in a way that even your parents and family can’t (or won’t).

I promise you, it will get better but you need to give life a chance and talk about it with someone.  Let them be your lifeline.

  • The Trevor Project at 866 4U TREVOR. It’s a 24-hour, national help line for gay and questioning teens. You can learn more about The Trevor Project at their website: thetrevorproject.org.
  • Angels and Doves is a nationwide anti-bullying non-profit organization.  Their website isAngelsandDoves.com
  • The National Center for Bullying Prevention is helping to promote awareness and teach effective ways to respond to bullying. You can learn more about them at their website:Pacer.org/bullying
  • The Matthew Shepard Foundation runs Matthew’s Place, an online community and resource center for LGBTQ youth. The website is matthewsplace.com
  • GLSEN is also a great organization that is working to eradicate bullying and bias in schools. Their website is: glsen.org
  • STOMP Out Bullying is focused on reducing bullying and cyber bullying. Find out more on their website: stompoutbullying.org