Beyond Gay: The Politics of Pride

I know I know, you don’t have to tell me, I’m very late for the conversation since this documentary came out in 2009 but I’m just now seeing it for the first time on Showtime.  We don’t get out to the movies very often and when we do we have to both agree on what we see which means we don’t get to see a lot of movies.  So… here I am in mid 2011 just now seeing this movie for the first time.

ho·mo·pho·bi·a Noun /ˌhōməˈfōbēə/

  1. An extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people

I found the definition for homophobia so that people will know the exact definition and know I am not making it up.  “An extreme and irrational aversion”…  Note the word irrational.  That is in the dictionary.  It says that your aversion to homosexuality is irrational.  You know if the dictionary says you are being irrational then it’s time to cool your jets.

When I started watching this movie tonight I didn’t know they were going to really get into all of the gory details about how other countries treat their gays.  I thought it was just them documenting their organization of the gay pride parade and festival in Canada and that it would be pride for 90 minutes.  Instead, they bring us to Moscow, Serbia, Sri Lanka US and Canada.

“There are over 80 countries across the globe that still criminalize homosexuality.  7 or 8 countries that actually uphold the death penalty.”

These are the words that are shocking to me.  I know that there were countries that criminalize people for holding hands or just for looking or acting gay.  In Sri Lanka it’s a 10 year prison sentence, yes still.  Just for being gay in public.  In India and in Africa lesbian women have to worry about corrective rape.

“‘Corrective rape’ is a criminal practice, whereby men rape lesbian women, purportedly as a means of “curing” the woman of her sexual orientation.”

This one woman told a story about how they rape lesbian women for hours, it’s pure torture to be raped like this especially since most of them are still virgins at the time of the rape.  It’s not only painful to penetrate them but it’s also very demeaning and you know, mentally painful.  It’s painful for me to even think about it.

In Moscow Russia you cannot have a gay pride, the mayor denies their applications and says that he will continue to deny them this year, next year, 5 years from now and 10 years from now.  As long as he is in office he will continue to deny their gay pride festival so they have to go to secret locations and have their quick 5 minute gay pride then pack it all up before the police show up.

In the middle east, if you are gay you are going to be pushing daisies very soon because they do not, absolutely do not want you living among them.  They will kill you and it is perfectly legal to do so.  I seem to recall the president of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad being asked in a press conference in the United States a few years ago about the gay iranian people and he said “We don’t have gay people” and everyone laughed at him.  He was very serious, he wasn’t expecting to hear something so bold as being laughed at as if he had just told a joke.  They do have gays, they are all in hiding, married with children and pretending to be straight to stay alive.  That is no way to live.

People are dying and people are being held in prisons for 10 years and being raped to correct them.  This is why we have gay pride.  It’s to make people aware of intolerance and to send a message that we are here, we are queer, get used to it.  Our message is to get over it and stop killing us and treating us like we are dogs because we were all born this way just like some of us were born with red, brown and blond hair; brown, blue and green eyes; black, brown, red, yellow, pink and white skin.  We were all born this way so just get over it.

My definition, if I may be so bold to give it, is that homophobic people aren’t afraid of gay people, they just don’t understand why we are all so happy and “gay” about being ourselves when they have to live the way their parents told them they have to live.  You see, I believe that all of those anti-gay people are only anti-gay because they cannot be gay themselves, they are jealous because we are living the lives they feel they should have led so they are taking out their aggression on gay people because they are too coward to be openly gay.

Other homophobic people are that way because they are so ignorant because they were told by their pastor that because it says in the bible that being gay is a sin.  Well, so is being fat and so is being lazy and so is judging other people because that isn’t for them to do, that is for “God” to do.  You don’t have to talk to gay people if you don’t like them but by acting out against them you yourself are sinning and will go to this mythical place called Hell in our stead.  So enjoy.

You know, before I watched this documentary, I have to admit that I didn’t know all of this information.  I know to some degree but not every thing they were talking about.  So I come from this a little more educated and enlightened.  I’m going to watch it again the next time I see it on Showtime so I can be sure to pay close attention so the information stays with me.

My uncle was so bold to ask me one year, my visit just so happened to be around gay pride month where it was all over the news.  He asked me plain and simple.  “Why do gay people need to have their ‘Gay pride parade’?  The mexican’s don’t have a parade to be proud to be mexican, the blacks don’t have a parade to be proud to be black, so why do gay people do it?”

See, this movie is a great way to explain to them what I cannot explain from memory.  First of all I didn’t answer him.  I knew that it would be detrimental if I responded with an ignorant point of view because all it takes is one idiot (me) telling people the wrong thing and they tell a friend and they tell a friend and so on.  So I reserved my answer for a later time when I was more educated on the subject.  Here we are about 9 years later and I may just be ready to answer that question.

I won’t bring it up unless asked again though because when it comes to this type of conversation with my family, I get interrupted a lot and am constantly told I’m wrong and I’m not going to put myself in that situation so screw em.  And that’s another issue, they ask but they really don’t want to know the real answer.  They don’t want to know the full details so they tell you to edit yourself because they are so afraid I’m going to start talking about anal sex.  It’s not all about sex people.  It’s about freedom and about not being killed by your government or put in prison for simply being alive.

Wow this is longer than I thought it would be.  Ok so to wrap this up, it’s a very good documentary which helps explain a ton about not just the gay pride itself but also give you some historical and statistical facts.  Just watch it.  Here is the trailer.

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In Your Face!

You know how some people are homophobic but they don’t throw it in your face but you know they are because they give you a disapproving glare or they make snarky comments when referring to your sexuality?  Well, I have one particular family member who is sort of like that.  The whole gay issue is never brought up, like it’s so shameful that we just don’t talk about it out of fear that it will tear our relationship apart because of differing opinions or something.

I was talking with said family member on the phone today who was the only family member by the way who ever calls me on my birthday and she was 6 days late calling me.  But the subject of Chips deceased cousins relationship came up and she asked how long they were together and I said 27 years.  “Wow, how long have you guys been together” she asks which I respond 17 years. “WOW!”

I get no gratification for throwing it in her face that I am in a long-term relationship but when you tell a person like her who is against gay relationships that you have been together for 17 years and they have a “WOW” response, it makes you feel good.  Like “IN YOUR FACE” or something.  Not a mean in your face but you know.

I would say that I am the black sheep to half of my family because of my sexuality which if you think about it is such a stupid reason to be the black sheep.  I mean, I was born this way, you don’t make me a black sheep because I was born with hazel eyes and brown hair do you?  Of course not because that is absurd.  So why make me the black sheep because of my sexuality which I have no control over just like I have no control over the fact that I have male pattern baldness.

You know what I say to society, I’m here, I’m queer, get effing used to it biatches!  I’m in a committed long-term monogamous relationship with a person with whom I love and nothing anyone says about it is going to change that.  Get over your insecurities about gay people and realize we aren’t going to change.  We do have loving normal relationships just like all of you straight people.  The only difference is that we can’t get each other pregnant, which if you think about it is more of a blessing cause who wants that?  Not me!

I am so sick of people judging me so yeah, I get a little excited when someone who doesn’t approve has a moment when they are impressed by it.  As if I was ever seeking approval, I’m not but you know what I mean.

No matter what the circumstances are, she is my family and I respect her even though she may not respect me for being gay but goddamnit, it’s my life.  Be grateful I’m happy and I’m not miserable in a relationship with a woman who I am not sexually attracted to with children who probably hate me for taking out my aggression on them for having to be stuck in that marriage just to please your homophobic ass.

That’s all I have to say. *Steps off of my soap box*

Cycling Again

Last month I bought a new back wheel for my bicycle so that I could start getting exercise again.  The same exact day, Chips deceased cousins girlfriend bought a vintage 10-speed road bike because I told her I was getting my new wheel and that if she had a bike we could go bike riding together.  We rode exactly 2 times together last month.  I didn’t ride on my own though.

This month we rode once, yesterday and I told her that if this is going to work we are going to have to do this more often, like every day at least.  Since we are both out of shape then perhaps every other day until our leg muscles are more used to it.

I spent a long time figuring out the perfect route for bike riding and unfortunately she doesn’t like my route because it’s the same thing every time and she likes to take short cuts, which defeats the purpose of the ride.  My route has no heavy traffic to cross, all neighborhoods and when we are on the busy roads they have bike lanes.  I pride myself on my organization skills whether anyone likes it or not, typically nobody likes it but me.

My cell phone hasn’t worked in years and I really need to keep a cell phone with me at all times when I’m out on the bike trail so I bought a refurbished Samsung T401G from Net10 which is the same exact phone Darrin has, only I paid $25 for mine since it was refurbished and it comes with a $25 phone card.  Basically I got the phone for free hehe.  But it’s a very nice phone compared to what I would have gotten had I gotten the cheaper phone if I had gone to Sears to buy it today.

Even though we are going to ride every other day, I am going to ride every day if I can (as soon as my new phone arrives) because I have more weight to lose than she does and I am determined to lose it.

I will be suggesting an alternate route for her which is her car.  We were crossing such heavy traffic yesterday and it really freaked me out so if she wants to do this she can drive her bike there and I can meet her on the trail.  I think that is a good plan.  I get more exercise and she gets the amount of exercise she is satisfied with, it’s a win win for everyone involved.

Today Is My 41st Birthday

Doomsday must be upon us because I have turned 41 years old today.  When I was a child I couldn’t wait to grow up and now that I’m all grown up I wish I was a child again because I really hate this aging process.

Darrin wanted to take me to the mall to buy me some things so we went to Sears and he bought me 5 t-shirts with a pocket on the front left and 2 pairs of shorts and a pair of flip-flops.  Then downstairs in the bedding department for an egg crate for my bed because it’s really old and I needed the extra support.  He wanted to buy me a new bed but they cost $2500.  They have a 50% off sale with other in store discounts that brings it down to just under $1000 but we just don’t have that kind of money right now so I get to keep and suffer with a 25-30 year old bed lol.  No wonder I have back issues.

I do surveys for e-rewards and I had $50 worth in my account so I ordered a $25 gift card for Game Stop a couple of weeks ago and it came a few days ago so I used that to buy the newest Lego game “Lego Pirates of the Caribbean”.  I had an old Game Stop gift card in my wallet which still had $3.37 on it so the game in total was only $4.09.

I’m a member of the Dairy Queen blizzard fan club so I got a buy one medium blizzard and get one free coupon in my inbox this morning so while we were at the mall we both got blizzards.  That’s my favorite thing about my birthday, we get blizzards hehe.  It’s become a tradition.

I’m also a member of the Hometown Buffet e-club so every year I get a buy one get one free dinner for there too so that’s what’s for dinner.  We haven’t gone yet but we will be going pretty soon.

I have a love/hate relationship with birthdays.  I hate the getting old part but on the other hand I love the free stuff you get lol.  I didn’t get a cake but that’s because we had cake a few days ago.  Darrin had a sweet tooth so I made my birthday cake early for him.  That doesn’t sound right hehe.  Oh well, I’ll just get some when I go back for desserts at Hometown Buffet tonight.  That should make up for it.