My diet disaster

I’m feeling very dumb these days because I am making the worst possible food choices and I can’t seem to stop gaining weight.

Last year I lost 70lbs and I bragged and my partner bragged, and we keep bragging despite the fact that I only lost 70lbs in 6 months time, and then stopped because I couldn’t seem to lose any more, so I slowly started gaining the weight back. That was 1 year ago almost exactly and I am 30lbs heavier now.

Here’s why. I know this is going to come off as blaming other people and I need to take responsibility for my own actions, but it’s really hard when you understand my situation. My partner isn’t on a diet. Plain and simple. He wants to go to buffets and eat ice cream and cookies and chips and this and that. I can pretend that I don’t want to eat those things, but let’s face it, I’m an addict. If you took an alcoholic to a bar during a beer bust, what do you expect them to drink while you drink beer? Milk? No, they are going to drink beer. If you live with a heroin addict and you bring home some heroin, what do you expect them to do? Watch you? No, they are also going to do heroin. So you simply cannot expect to bring a food addict to an all you can eat buffet and expect them to eat 1 plate with nothing but veggies, because that isn’t going to happen. They are going to leave that buffet feeling like they want to vomit during the ride home.

I spent all year last year faithfully eating weight watchers smart ones frozen dinners, fruits, veggies and denying myself treats that I love to eat. When the plateau hits and the next 6 months is all work with no payoff, you feel betrayed and you wonder why bother and then start slipping and eating whatever the heck you wanted. Well, that’s exactly what happened to me.

Again, I’m not trying to blame this on anyone because I’ve done it to myself, I realize that I can say no and I need to start saying it more often.

A week or so ago I started my Noom diet from scratch and then my birthday came and I ate cake and ice cream, buffet, chips, bread… And today someone brought me a Marie Calendars pie.  Chip doesn’t like lemon because it gives him acid reflux, so I ate nearly half of the pie on my own. I’m out of freaking control! I gave the other half of the pie to a neighbor because I just can’t take it anymore. I’m starting to look fat again. I looked in the mirror and my face is getting plump and so is my neck. I just can’t keep going like this anymore!!!

Tomorrow I am going to ride my bicycle to Food Maxx and I am going to buy 20 Weight Watchers frozen dinners for myself and 20 Michelina frozen dinners for my partner since he will eat anything and those are way cheaper. I can’t print the Weight Watchers coupons until my printer head and ink come next week, so I will have to deal with losing $6 – $8 from the lack of coupons because I just cannot let this wait another day. I need to take my life back and make better choices.I refuse to get fat again dammit!

For breakfast I will enjoy what I eat every morning, only this time I will measure my food. After breakfast, once I’ve had enough coffee in my system I will get on my bike and ride to Food Maxx and buy healthy frozen food and more generic crystal light. I’ll also buy some apples and oranges for snacks. I’ve been eating bananas every day, but I need to add other fruits so it’s less boring.

I always say that people will change their lives when they are ready, but the people we live with need to respect that and not tease us by putting bad things in front of us. I wouldn’t sabotage someone with what they are addicted to, so I expect to be treated with the same respect.

Anyway, rant over. I will hope to do my best and stick to my new diet starting tomorrow. Also, riding the bicycle is a huge help because it’s exercise. I will also start riding my bike again on the bike trail, but I will need new lights first. Target has rechargeable lights for $30 which I am saving for. I don’t have the money now, so I will have to ride after the sun comes out, not before. I’ll need all the will power I can muster.

Advertisements

Today Is My 41st Birthday

Doomsday must be upon us because I have turned 41 years old today.  When I was a child I couldn’t wait to grow up and now that I’m all grown up I wish I was a child again because I really hate this aging process.

Darrin wanted to take me to the mall to buy me some things so we went to Sears and he bought me 5 t-shirts with a pocket on the front left and 2 pairs of shorts and a pair of flip-flops.  Then downstairs in the bedding department for an egg crate for my bed because it’s really old and I needed the extra support.  He wanted to buy me a new bed but they cost $2500.  They have a 50% off sale with other in store discounts that brings it down to just under $1000 but we just don’t have that kind of money right now so I get to keep and suffer with a 25-30 year old bed lol.  No wonder I have back issues.

I do surveys for e-rewards and I had $50 worth in my account so I ordered a $25 gift card for Game Stop a couple of weeks ago and it came a few days ago so I used that to buy the newest Lego game “Lego Pirates of the Caribbean”.  I had an old Game Stop gift card in my wallet which still had $3.37 on it so the game in total was only $4.09.

I’m a member of the Dairy Queen blizzard fan club so I got a buy one medium blizzard and get one free coupon in my inbox this morning so while we were at the mall we both got blizzards.  That’s my favorite thing about my birthday, we get blizzards hehe.  It’s become a tradition.

I’m also a member of the Hometown Buffet e-club so every year I get a buy one get one free dinner for there too so that’s what’s for dinner.  We haven’t gone yet but we will be going pretty soon.

I have a love/hate relationship with birthdays.  I hate the getting old part but on the other hand I love the free stuff you get lol.  I didn’t get a cake but that’s because we had cake a few days ago.  Darrin had a sweet tooth so I made my birthday cake early for him.  That doesn’t sound right hehe.  Oh well, I’ll just get some when I go back for desserts at Hometown Buffet tonight.  That should make up for it.

Box for Vedra

Today was (Darrin’s cousin) Vedra’s birthday and so we went over to her house to give her the box.  I put 2 bags of Hershey’s Kisses, 2 different flavors inside the box.  I know 1 flavor was peanut butter but the other was truffle creme with dark chocolate or something like that, I forgot what the name was lol.  Anyway, she loved it.

I went to Walgreen’s and bought one of their ready-made gift bags with the ribbon on the front and the different color tissue paper inside to match the bag color.  Then I came home and took the tissue out and put the box inside of it then tucked it back into the bag.  Then of course I put the card in there too.

When she pulled the tissue paper out of the bag with the box in the paper then she peeled away the tissue the expression on her face was priceless.  She goes “OH NO!!!” hehe.  Oh No meaning I can’t believe you got me this, I love it.  I know Oh No usually doesn’t sound good but in this case I could interpret it hehe.

She looked at every inch of it and was just in love with the design and the paint job and her name being on the top.  She was really happy so that is all that counts.

Here is my original post with the video of the box on YouTube:

Wood Burned Box

Well, now that I know what kind of reaction she gave me I think I’m going to go back to Michael’s for more boxes from here on out until December buying up as many boxes as I can afford to make boxes for everybody for Christmas 2009 lol.  Well, not just boxes lol.

Chips Birthday

YAY Today is Chips birthday.  He turns 29 (hehe).  I don’t think he cares about his age but I’m just gonna leave it at 29.  Anybody who knows us knows the truth.  I gave him his present early and now I feel really bad that I did that but he wouldn’t stop shaking the box and it was glass with liquid inside it.  I don’t know if he broke one of them or if it came that way in shipping but one of them is broken.  When it’s your birthday and someone buys you something and says DON’T SHAKE IT!  You don’t shake it dammit.  Listen when you are told lol.  Sheesh.

You know those Galileo thermometers?  It’s like this tube with liquid and inside the liquid are these balls with liquid and each of the balls are a different color and the bottoms of the balls have like these little aluminum tags which have a temperature on them.  When it is cold the balls go up, when it’s hot the balls go down or vice versa I don’t know, and when it’s a nice temperature like in the 80’s 2 balls are up and 2 balls are down at the bottom.  Well, since one of the balls got broken and it had pink liquid inside it, the main tube water has a little pink inside it now instead of clear water and so it doesn’t give an accurate reading.  Instead all the balls are all the way up while the other one has 2 on top and 2 on bottom.  I decided to just keep the broken one in my room for decoration rather than function.

So I really feel bad that I gave it to him early and now he has no presents to open.  When I get some money I’m gonna buy him a lava lamp.  I love lava lamps and I think it would be really cool to look at in the living room near his TV.  This website has them for a reasonable price Cheap DJ Gear.  I don’t know what color I’m going to get him though.  Since they are fairly inexpensive I think I’m going to buy 2 of them because I love lava lamps.  My parents had one when I was a kid and I just loved watching it.  I’m going to have to find out which color he prefers.  The color doesn’t matter to me.  Although I wouldn’t mind red.  I love black but a black lava lamp just doesn’t appeal to me.

Lego Indiana Jones

I got my Lego Indiana Jones for PSP game today and got a free t-shirt. This game is fun just like Lego Star Wars is. I’m really glad I got a PSP because it’s so cool.

I also bought some artist stuff at Michael’s. I bought “Cartooning Kit for Dummies” and it came with 6 colored pencils, 6 markers which are basically the same colors as the pencils, an eraser and a pencil sharpener. I was disappointed in the pencils because they were very difficult to erase. A regular pencil works better.

It also comes with a little 5×7 sketching pad with 50 sheets. The book is lame, it’s not even a book it’s more of a piece of paper folded a few times. I also bought a book called Superhero Madness which has “45 basic lessons for drawing cool heroes and vile villains”. It’s pretty cool. They also had these booklets that were totally blank so you can create your very own comic book. I bought 2 sizes, a regular typical comic book size and a pocket book size. Each with 28 pages.

I don’t know what I’m going to draw in them but I probably wont use them for a very long time, long enough to know what I’m doing first hehe.

My Birthday Part 2

Well this morning I woke up with Darrin singing the Happy Birthday song and he was holding a German Chocolate cake which was what my mother always made for me for my birthdays. He knew that, that’s why he bought it for me.

We went to the movies today and saw Iron Man which I really loved. Afterwards we went to Sears and Darrin bought me 3 pair of cartoon lounge pants (pajamas hehe).

His cousin Vedra and Venda gave me a black t-shirt with HWOODCATS on it and a box of Dewars candy peanut butter flavored. They are really good. Tomorrow I absolutely cannot wait to get my Lego Indiana Jones game for my PSP then we’re going to DQ for blizzards which I have a coupon that they sent me for my birthday for buy 1 get 1 free.