Smaller Appetite After Surgery

I have always had a huge appetite since I was at least a teenager. At dinner, my mom would always make enough so everyone could have seconds, and I was typically the only one who would actually take seconds. I was so skinny and my mom never understood where that food went because I never gained any weight no matter how much food I ate. I kind of hate my younger self right now lol. I was also active, and when I say active, I mean like gym class, running from the school to escape bullies, then walking home from school. You know, typical teenage angst lol.

So the time of my life I’m referring to was when I was around 13 years old and I was 150lbs. Fast forward to when I was 26 and I was still 150lbs, then I quit smoking and that all changed. Suddenly I was gaining weight because I was discovering how wonderful food was. Before then I was eating to survive on what we could afford. After, I was eating for pleasure, and I wasn’t holding back. I was getting a lot more food than normal and within 2 months of quitting smoking, I had gained 50lbs. So there I was 200lbs with a fat belly all of a sudden and my appetite was out of control, but I was trying not to go over 200lbs.

Over the years I’ve gained weight because of my enormous appetite until I was at my highest last year at 267lbs. I bought a Fitbit Charge 4 watch and a Fitbit Aria scale and I tried working on my weight. When I got the scale I was 265lbs and by January this year I was 254lbs, then the surgeon told me to lose 15-20lbs for my surgery and then I went down to 230lbs. Now after surgery I have gone down to 225lbs.

And now to the subject of this post. I had my surgery where they reduced the size of my colon, which is a nicer way of saying they removed a section of my colon to remove the possibility of colon cancer. But ever since I had my surgery, I haven’t been very hungry. They fed me 6oz of soup and some other things like pudding or jello and some juices and milk. Well, that tiny amount of food and drinks made me feel so full. When I came home from the hospital I was still getting full from such a tiny amount of food. I left the hospital on Thursday and today is Sunday and I’m still getting full from 6oz of soup. I made myself tomato soup, a 3oz glass of sugar free Jell-O and a chocolate pudding cup and I couldn’t even eat the Jell-O or the pudding. It was literally too much food.

This will be to my advantage to help me reduce the size of my stomach. If I eat and I get full fast, then I won’t have the chance to make my stomach too big again, and that will help me lose weight, especially when I go back to eating my Keto food. This will also prevent me from even wanting to go to a buffet because if I’m not hungry for such a huge amount of food, then I won’t be tempted to go, thus I won’t overeat and gain weight again. So I see this as a huge win for me.

How long do you think it will take me to get down to 200lbs if I am 225lbs now? I pretty much lost 22lbs from mid-January to the end of March. So do you think I will be down to 200lbs by June or July maybe? And if I get down to 200lbs by then, I will just keep going and lose all the weight I can possibly lose. I really would like to get back to 150lbs, but I will be happy if I can get down to 160 or 170. When I finally get down to the weight I want to be, I’m going to continue to maintain my weight by eating Keto foods, and if I still lose weight, well then good for me.

I’m home from the hospital

Well, I did it and I survived a week in the hospital lol.

On Saturday, March 27 I started a liquid diet to help empty my bowels for surgery. I had to drink broth for 2 days. Monday, March 29 was my surgery. This is a video on YouTube that shows what they did.

I wasn’t given any food after the surgery. The next day I had a liquid diet, and all my meals made me full.

These were pretty much what I was eating. Cream soups that were less creamy and more watery. My meals were a soup, pudding or Jell-O or ice lemon, milk or almond milk, hot tea or hot coffee, and a juice like cranberry or grape. Oh and breakfast was cream of wheat with no butter or sweetener.

I’m not in any pain. I have to walk around to keep my stomach from turning into velcro. The physical therapist used that word to describe what your insides will do that kind of made me laugh and it also made sense.

I had to lose weight for the surgery and the surgeon said that when he asks his patients to lose weight for surgery, they almost always never lose weight. He was so surprised and happy that I actually lost weight. I went from 254 on January 12 when I first saw him, and I was 230 the day of surgery. I lost 5 more pounds after a week of hospital food. Here’s my weight now.

I am really proud of myself for having the will power to meet this goal and continue losing weight, and I will keep losing more weight so I can lose all the stomach fat. Of course I’ll probably need to maintain a small layer of stomach fat for insulation lol, but there is no reason to stay fat and because it was unhealthy for me.

I have a post opp appointment in 11 days and I’m sure he will reveal my stitches. Everything is bandaged. I can’t take a shower until the bandages are gone. I bought some no rise shampoo/body wash from Amazon to keep me clean. It’s a spray which will make it easier to use.

As I keep saying, just to be clear, I do not have colon cancer and after the surgery, the surgeon told me he found no evidence of cancer. He removed the section of my colon because of colon polyps that they couldn’t remove any other way.

I really appreciate all the likes on my posts about my weight loss progress over the last few months. Thank you for reading.

My weight loss update

I started my Atkins Keto diet on January 12, 2021 at 253lbs per my surgeons request. On February 17, 2021 I had lost 11.6lbs, but then the weight stopped dropping and I had gained a few pounds and I got extremely frustrated.

I wasn’t sure what I was doing wrong. I was always hungry, so I figured I needed a supplement, so I went on YouTube to find out what works, and someone said Apple Cider Vinegar, so I went on Amazon and found something in pill form called Apple Cider Vinegar+KETO in a bottle with 120 capsules. Instructions were to take 2 pills in the morning with food. I did that and the first couple of days it helped me to suppress my appetite, but then it stopped suppressing my appetite and I was always hungry again. So then I bought a bottle of Metamucil with Psyllium Husk Powder and the instructions were to take 2 rounded teaspoons with 8oz glass of water before every meal, and that actually helped to suppress my appetite. I took it for 3 days in a row and started feeling horrible stomach cramps, but I took it for a 4th day and I regretted taking it. I looked on Google for how long you should take Metamucil and it said maximum of 7 days. Well, 4 days was too many for me. Perhaps 7 days if you only take 1 rounded teaspoon before meals.

Yesterday and today I didn’t take anything. No apple cider vinegar, no metamucil and I seem to be doing fine with my appetite. My stomach is still cramping up a lot, but that’s going away. I don’t feel hungry between meals and that’s pretty much the whole point of me doing that, to help shrink my stomach and to help shrink my appetite. I weighed myself this morning and I was 239.4lbs.

My goal is to lose 15-20lbs for surgery, and my appointment with the surgeon is on March 11, 2021 to check my weight to see if I have lost anything to be eligible for surgery, which is in exactly 1 week from today. I am hoping to get down to 233 by then, but I will be happy if I’ve only lost 15lbs. Then of course there will be from the day of my appointment next week until the day of the surgery, and I may possibly have gone down to 233 or lower.

I have to lose weight for surgery, but I want to lose weight for my health sake. I have sleep apnea and I have bad knees, and I’m guessing is due to the fact that I am, or was 100lbs overweight. I’m still at least 90lbs overweight. I was 150 before I quit smoking and gained all this weight, and I don’t expect to go back down to 150lbs, but I’d at least like to get down to 170 again. I know I can do it if I try hard enough, but that all depends on my appetite. I’ve always had a huge appetite since I was a kid when I was skinny and couldn’t gain any weight even if I tried because I was very active.

Of course I will keep this blog updated when I go to the appointment next week and when I have the surgery, and when I lose more weight beyond the surgery.

Oh and just to make it clear, the surgery isn’t for weight loss as someone thought on Facebook. The surgery is to remove some colon polyps that they couldn’t remove during my colonoscopy in September of 2020. I need these extra polyps removed before they turn to cancer. Even if it was for weight loss, I’m sure I do not qualify for weight loss surgery because I am not an extreme case like you see on tv.

CPAP filters on Amazon

I got my CPAP machine from Apria Healthcare in 2019. They were sending me these filters that didn’t look like they were collecting any dust at all. When I removed the filter after two weeks it looked almost identical to the way it looked when I put it in.

I was having such a difficult time getting them to send me new supplies because they were telling me that they didn’t have the paperwork needed from my doctor. I got tired of waiting and using the same filter for almost a year because they weren’t sending me any supplies, so I went to Amazon and bought these new filters from RespLabs. I only paid $10 and it comes with 60 filters which will take me two and a half years to go through since they want me to change the filters once every two weeks.

You can see a used filter on the left side that came from Apria Healthcare, on the right side on the top is a brand new RespLabs filter and below that is after 2 weeks of using this new filter. You can tell there’s a significant difference in the amount of dust that these filters are collecting that is not going into your lungs. The filters that Apria Healthcare were sending me were just not working. Every night I could smell dust and dirt the whole night long. I don’t smell any dirt or dust with these new filters.

So if you have sleep apnea, do yourself a favor and buy these RespLab filters. Your lungs will thank you.

By the way, this filter belongs to the ResMed AirSense 10 AutoSet, so if that’s what you have, then this filter is for you. If you have another CPAP or BiPap machine, I’m sure they have a filter for your make and model.

So I’m diabetic now

I think it was 10 years ago when my doctor warned that I was pre-diabetic, and he gave me a glucose meter and my numbers went down because I basically cut out all the sweets and only ate vegetables and meat, no bread or carbs. Eventually after a few months of having good numbers on the meter, he told me I’m cleared and I don’t need to worry about it anymore as long as I continued to eat healthy. He didn’t prescribe test strips.

They tested my glucose in June of this year and it was 373. Yikes! My doctor prescribed Metformin HCL ER 750 MG tablets and I have taken it every day like I was supposed to for 3 months. I’ve cut back significantly on sugar and have eaten basically nothing but salads for dinner for 3 months. They tested my glucose again in September and it had dropped down to 228, still yikes. But the day of our appointment which was a week later, it had gone back up to 391. YIKES!!!! She thought the Metformin would help, but apparently not, so she prescribed Trijardy XR 25-5-1000 MG tablets.

Today I finally got the new medicine and the new glucose machine. It’s a True Metrix self monitoring blood glucose meter and it only came with 10 testing strips and 10 lancests, and I don’t know why they didn’t give me any more than that, but whatever. My life partner has the same machine and he buys testing strips from Amazon, so he gave me some of his for when I run out of mine in 3 days lol.

I tested my blood when we came home from the pharmacy, which was a little after 3pm and my blood sugar was 242. I took a Trijardy. Then I ate dinner at 6pm and did the test about 10 minutes later and it had dropped down to 147. So apparently the new medicine is going to help. I wonder what the side effects will be lol. Joking aside, I’m glad my blood sugar has gone down significantly.

Now that I know I have an issue with my blood sugar, I will slow my roll on junk food and try to eat healthier from now on. It’s hard because I REALLY love junk lol. I am a 50 year old man, I need to grow up and stop acting like a child who thinks he can eat anything he wants. I don’t have a grown up to tell me to eat my vegetables and that cookies and ice cream will spoil my dinner.

Actually, my life partner has told me you’ll spoil your lunch or dinner and I laugh because whenever I do eat lunch or dinner, it’s never enough and I’m still hungry. Perhaps if I filled my stomach with vegetables, which from what I understand breaks down slower in your stomach, which makes you feel full longer, then I might not be so hungry all the time.

I downloaded the True Metrix app called True Manager. I don’t have the True Metrix Air which apparently connects to the app with Bluetooth, but I can manually enter the data. I hope my blood sugar drops down to a normal range and stays that way. I will know on the app since it has a log and it tells me my average based on my log entries. They told me to do the blood test in the morning on an empty stomach, and then again after dinner.

CPAP Therapy and the myAir App

I started using my new CPAP machine in late June 2019 and I just wanted to post an update on my progress.

When Aprea Healthcare told me that I wasn’t going to get a BiPAP machine, I was freaked out because I have been using a BiPAP machine since 2005 and I thought the CPAP, which is called CPAP because it’s continuous air, BiPap is for bidirectional air, I though the CPAP was going to make it harder to sleep, but this new CPAP is actually not that bad. I am able to inhale and exhale normally.

The mask they included with my new machine was the nasal mask that I was used to, but this new mask was a bit different. The old mask had the cushion and pillow, unlike the new ones that just have the pillow. Here is my old mask with the cushion and pillow on the left, and the new pillows with 3 different nose sizes on the right.

I never had a problem with the old cushion and pillow masks, I could breathe through both nostrils just fine throughout the ramp stage (when you first start for the night, your machine starts out with a low pressure and that pressure slowly builds up to the final pressure over time to allow you to get used to the air) and beyond. This new mask was just too restricting for me. I started with the medium, which was installed on the mask frame when I received my new machine, and decided to use the large one on the 2nd night, but I still had a problem getting air during the ramp stage. I called and set up an appointment to tell them I’m having trouble and they told me I could get a different mask before the first 30 days are up, so I went in and they suggested this new nasal pillow which goes into your nostrils, and that one seems to work better, but there are side effects, like me pulling on the hose while I sleep which causes the air to leak.

The guy at Aprea Healthcare suggested I use the medium nasal pillow, but it’s too small and when I wake up, my nostrils are in agony because both pillows have literally gone inside my nose lol. I switched to the large, and haven’t had any pain. It REALLY sucks waking up in pain.

So this is my update. I’m doing good with my new CPAP machine. I wanted to post something so people will know that if you have been using a BiPAP for a long time and the Sleep Apnea company that sends you a new machine refuses to give you a new BiPAP, but instead only wants to give you CPAP, don’t worry, it’s pretty much the same thing. You can breathe easier (that was my pun for the day lol) knowing it works for me, and I was adamant about getting a BiPAP. If you find that you have trouble with CPAP, tell them and they will work to get you a BiPAP. It was like pulling teeth to get this CPAP, so I’m not even going to try to get something else.

Oh and here’s the myAir app screenshot. I love this app because before I didn’t have any data, this new machine actually sends the data to this app and now I can see what happens when I sleep.

My Sleep Apnea

My 15 year old BiPAP Machine left vs my new CPAP machine right.

I have severe sleep apnea. In the early 2000’s I was visiting my aunt in Simi Valley and another aunt in Lancaster, both in California and both aunts told me that not only is my snoring loud, but they could hear me gasp for air in my sleep. In 2003 I was waking up in the middle of the night literally gasping for air. I couldn’t inhale any air at all, yet I was able to exhale what air I had left in my lungs with no problem. I thought I was going to die, and this happened every night. I went to my doctor and they gave me an inhaler and they ordered a sleep study and a year later I got my first machine which is the BiPAP machine in the image above on the left.

My original sleep study was great because I was taking Ambien at the time, so I was able to go to sleep immediately. They only had me there for a few hours, and during that time they gave me both tests. They had me sleep without the mask, for I’m guessing an hour, then they woke me up to put the mask on me connected to a BiPAP machine and conducted the test for another hour, then I was released. It did take a year for me to finally receive my BiPAP machine, but it wasn’t an issue getting it to me. The only time the company that sold the BiPAP to me contacted me was when they were trying to set up an appointment to bring it to my house and to show me how it works.

Last year in February I had a new sleep study so that I could get a new machine since mine was 14 years old at the time, and I had the hardest time getting to sleep. First of all, the insurance company won’t let me take sleeping pills anymore because they think I’m addicted to them. I have sleeping disorders and insomnia. If I can’t sleep, I need something to help me to sleep, otherwise I’m up until 4am staring at the ceiling.

So last year I was at the new sleep study and the room was a nice room that resembled a bedroom in an office with a nice bed that looked and felt brand new, but it was a strange bed and the room was hot and I just couldn’t sleep. I was awake for about 80% of the study. It’s difficult to sleep when you don’t have anything to help you sleep and you have all these wires on your head and body and you are told to sleep on your back in a strange environment in a strange bed in a hot room.

They had me come back a few months later for the second part of the sleep study which was the same exact thing, but the only difference was I had to sleep with the mask on from the same exact BiPAP machine that I was currently using. The same thing happened, I was awake for 80% of the night, but this time I had a mask on blowing air into my nose and I was awake for it. It’s so frustrating.

So I figured I had failed the sleep study both times and there was no way I was ever going to get a new machine. I was surprised when this year I received a phone call to tell me that I had been approved for a new machine. This was the most difficult machine to get because they kept calling me to tell me they were missing documents from my doctor’s office and that I would have to wait for it to be approved. Then one day they called me to tell me that I’m not going to get my machine at all because they have cancelled me because they didn’t get the documents. I called the doctor’s office every time they called me, and every single time the doctor’s office told me that they did in fact send every document that was requested, multiple times. It took 3 months of getting these phone calls telling me they were missing documents. Don’t call ME to tell me you don’t have documents, call the doctor’s office. I think that is so unprofessional of a company to do that to a patient. Don’t involve me in this, just work to get me my machine.

So finally I did get the machine and it is a much smaller machine, but this one is a CPAP machine instead of a BiPAP machine. What’s the difference? Well, a CPAP machine is Continuous Positive Airway Pressure and a BiPAP is Bilevel Positive Airway Pressure. I was told back in 2005 that the BiPAP stood for Bidirectional Positive Airway Pressure.

My first night with this new CPAP machine wasn’t good. I was awake half the night. I think I was just not used to this new mask and it was constantly leaking air. Well, that was my fault, I didn’t have it on tight enough. The second night I had it on much tighter, but I kept turning the machine off because I thought the mask was too small because I couldn’t breathe through my left nostril. It came with a guide that you place on your face to see which mask you need. It told me I need the small, but it was too small, I feel more comfortable with the large one.

This new machine is connected to an online company that tracks my sleep, and the purpose is so the insurance company can make sure I am using it. If I don’t use it, then they don’t want to pay for it. That’s literally what the company that sold the machine told me. They are also watching to make sure I’m using it. They said I need to use it at least 4 hours a night for 3 months or so, and if I follow this, then the insurance company will pay for the machine until it’s paid for, and then the machine is mine to keep. But if I don’t use it, they will know. Why wouldn’t I use it? I have sleep apnea lol.

I am so thankful to have this new machine, because I was so worried my old one was going to stop working and that I would eventually die from my sleep apnea. I would rather die in my sleep not knowing I’m dying rather than be in pain, but I’m not even 50 yet, I’m not ready to die. My mother died at age 42 of a heart attack in her sleep, and I know for a fact she snored really loud. I think she had sleep apnea, and just didn’t know. What a way to go though. Let me get wrinkles before I die though.

My Diet Update

2018-08-04
A couple of weeks ago I weighed 265lbs and that was enough of a wake up call for me to want to lose weight, but I couldn’t actually start thinking about losing weight because I didn’t have the money to buy diet food for myself. My life partner decided on his own without asking me to call NutriSystem and they told him that their plan would end up costing somewhere in the neighborhood of $350 a month. That includes breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks throughout the day. That’s WAY too much money for me to be able to afford on disability. If I’m going to do this, I will do it the same way I did in 2013 when I lost 70lbs. When I had the money I bought some Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinners that included breakfast, lunch and dinner and if I want a snack throughout the day I’ll eat a banana. I also started going to the gym again and I started using the Noom app and my Fitbit.

The day I actually started my diet was last week on Tuesday, July 31, 2018 and I actually weighed 255.4. Today is Monday, August 6, 2018 and I weighed 250.8. I decided to tell the Noom app that my goal is 170lbs, and they want me to lose 2lbs per week, so my estimated date to get down to 170lbs is May 13, 2019. But, I’ve already lost close to 5lbs this week, so every week when I weigh in, that date will get closer and closer.

I didn’t want to keep updating my blog about my weight loss because I didn’t want to be a bother about it, but when I lost 70lbs in 2013, I kept a page on my old website that I updated with pictures and screenshots, so I think I will create a page on this blog that I will update. I think that adding updates will keep me motivated. So I’m going to go do that right now.

I am having surgery (update)

So something has happened to me and I thought I would talk about it.

A few weeks ago I noticed a little marble sized hard growth on my back. At first I thought it might be an ingrown hair on my back, but I wasn’t sure if it was anything I needed to worry about. I didn’t go to the doctor because the clinic we go to was having issues finding a doctor that would stay long enough to allow me to check in with them.

I was going to call them, but they called us asking if we would come see their new doctor because they wanted to introduce her to some of the less neurotic clients lol. I’m occasionally on the neurotic side. but I’m usually very calm, so I was a safe bet.

So we went and she looked at it and said it was probably an ingrown hair, which hello, I nailed. She gave me a antibiotic and said when you are finished in 7 days, we will refer you to someone to have it lanced and drained. Well, 7 days pass and I call them to let them know it’s time. By the way, it grew from that little marble and now it’s twice as long as it was.

I went to this general surgeon and was expecting him to lance it and drain it in that visit, but he told me that it looks like I have Kaposi Sarcoma. I didn’t know what that meant at the time, but it sounded bad and I went from excited to have this thing gone to feeling sudden dread. He couldn’t lance it or drain it, instead he told me they would need to do surgery to remove it, which will be this week on Thursday.

The next day the new doctor at the clinic called and wanted to know what he told me and I told her he said it was Kaposi Sarcoma. She told me that he didn’t write anything in his report about that, just that it needed surgery to remove.

Kaposi Sarcoma causes purple blotches on your skin and is a very rare cancer usually only seen in AIDS patients. Well, I do have the AIDS virus. I was diagnosed with  HIV in 1991, and then 2 years later I was diagnosed with Pneumocystis pneumonia, which the doctors said was a symptom of AIDS. Gradually over the years from 1993 to 2000 my t-cells had dropped to 50 and I was essentially dying slowly. When we moved to Bakersfield, the HIV/AIDS specialist doctor at the clinic I currently still go to changed my medicine. I was still taking AZT in 2001 believe it or not. Anyway, they changed my medicine and my t-cells gradually raised and I’m still alive and today my t-cells are in the 900 range and my viral load has been undetectable for years.

I told you that because the new doctor at the clinic told me that a patient who has a viral load and t-cells in the 50 range would be more likely to get Kaposi Sarcoma than me, so it’s unlikely that I have this rare type of cancer. Plus my back doesn’t have any strange colors. There is bruising on the skin over the lump, but that’s to be expected considering my skin has stretched a tiny amount and that this lump has caused a bit of trauma to the cell structure of the skin where the hair is grown. That spot has a open cell where the hair grows. I know this because I tried squeezing what I thought was pus out, and some did come out, but it was too hard and it hurt too much to come out.

So there are still a few more days until surgery and I will update this post if it’s a small enough update, but if it’s a lot to talk about then I will start a new blog post. Otherwise, I will keep you posted on the progress when it’s all over.

Update: Today is Thursday 8/31/2017 and I had my surgery. The doctor looked at the area that needed to be removed and noticed that the bruising was gone, and told me that he thought it was kaposi sarcoma due to the fact that he saw the purple color of the skin, and he realizes now that it was a bruise from the growth which was injuring my skin and causing it to bruise. So now he knows it is not kaposi sarcoma. So that’s awesome that he doesn’t think I have cancer.

He did the surgery and I am in a lot of pain, as I should be considering I had surgery lol. He said he will send it to a lab and find out what it was and he will let me know next time I see him. In the meantime, I’m not allowed to lift any weight or exercise for 2 weeks and I can’t shower for 2 days, which will be extremely difficult for me since it’s so hot and when it’s this hot, I usually take up to 3 showers a day. I absolutely cannot stand being sticky, sweaty and stinky. Luckily the right guard lasts a long time. We have some surgery wipes that I can use to at least clean my body.

So when I find out what the issue is, I will edit this post again with another update.

Update: Wednesday 9/6/2017

My follow up appointment with the doctor revealed that it wasn’t an ingrown hair, it wasn’t Kaposi sarcoma, it was an infected sweat gland. Who knew? So that’s a relief that it’s not cancer.

How I Beat Insomnia

insomnia

Insomnia sucks. You lie in bed in a dark silent room with your eyes closed hoping to drift off to sleep, but all you can think about is new ways to beat the bad guys in your favorite video game, or how you would design your tiny house layout. Maybe you are thinking of something that someone said and it is bugging the heck out of you. Perhaps you are having flashbacks of a time when you were treated poorly by someone or a group of people. Or fill in the blanks.

That’s been my problem for several years. I remember a time when I could barely keep my eyes open after midnight when Ghost Hunters was doing a live ghost hunt on Halloween, but for the last few years, staying up past midnight was a non issue. In fact, I was lucky if I was going to bed by 5am. Insomnia has been awful for me for a very long time. I was taking Ambien for more than 10 years, then the insurance stopped paying for it, or any other sleeping pills for that matter. I’ve been buying over the counter sleeping pills. Your body becomes immune after taking so many sleeping pills. One of my doctors told me to take Benadryl, and I did, but that too stopped making me sleep. I thought about buying NyQuil, but that can get expensive.

So how did I beat insomnia? I bought a FitBit earlier this year, and it has an alarm on it that vibrates to wake you up. I decided to start using it, so I would set the alarm for 8am. The first couple of days I would wake up and 8am, but press the button and go back to sleep. Then I decided to get up at 8am, but by 10am I was sleepy again, so I would take a nap. I tried staying awake as long as I could, and try as I might I would still fall asleep after noon around 1pm or 2pm. I tried my best to stay awake, so when I would find myself drifting off to sleep, I would sit up and drink something cold and get up and walk around. Sometimes I would get in the shower because washing your body usually wakes you up.

It might have taken me 2 weeks to finally get to the point where even though the alarm is set for 8am, I wake up at 6am. Of course I try to go back to sleep and wake up at 8, but there are days where I’m so awake that I just can’t possibly go back to sleep, so I just get up. Now when I’m watching my shows at night, I’ll start drifting off to sleep at like 9 or 10pm and I’m asleep all night until 6 or 8am. No more sleeping pills.

We have a new doctor who is Hindu and he told me I could try meditation and I have tried meditation in the past, but I’ve gotten to the point where it just puts me to sleep. I mean like during the day. I think trying to meditate at night when you are trying to fall asleep is a great idea, but I don’t need to meditate to fall asleep anymore since my body has gotten used to calling it a day by 9pm. So I don’t need medication, nor do I need meditation to sleep.

It’s a wonderful feeling when you are able to fall asleep at a decent hour, despite the fact that I don’t have a job to go to in the morning.