Ahead of Schedule

The surgeon who operated on my leg told me on January 28th that I could put pressure on my leg in 6 to 8 weeks. Last Friday, Paul, my physical therapist told me that he thinks I’m ready to start putting pressure on my leg now, and that he would like to see me using a cane instead of crutches. I’ve been using a cane since I came home that day, and have been using a cane ever since. I’m supposed to start putting pressure on my leg in 2 – 4 weeks, but I’m doing it now.

Of course I’m not jumping up and down or walking all over town, I’m just walking to the bathroom or the kitchen. We went to Dollar General Market a couple nights ago and I did just fine, except for when my partner kept stopping to look at labels, or to look a greeting cards. Every time I had to stop and wait, it put pressure on my good leg to keep me upright, which really hurt. I could have put pressure on both legs, but I didn’t want to put too much pressure on my bad leg.

I’m excited because I wasn’t expecting to be able to walk for another 2 to 4 weeks. It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, but I do feel pressure on the top of my bone at the knee. I can feel the pressure from the metal plate (or rod?) and screws when I wiggle my toes. It’s a strange feeling, but I’ll get used to it, I’m sure.

I haven’t gone out on my new tricycle yet because I’m afraid I might have an accident if I go out this soon. I’m having issues with the fenders, because they feel like they are too close to the tires. The back fender is a little bent from shipping. I am also having trouble turning right, which isn’t that big of an issue because I will get used to it, and my body will get used to how odd it is and it will compensate, but for now I’m just a little afraid. I’d like to take it to the grocery store on a test run soon. I still need to buy more chains and locks to chain the seat to the frame and another U shaped lock to lock the frame to the handicapped sign pole. I would love to buy one with an alarm, but they cost a lot of money.

The one thing I am happy about is that I am no longer bed ridden. I actually have freedom again. I can go to the kitchen on my own with my cup and get my own drinks. I can make meals, do dishes and laundry and I can feed the cats outside again. It still takes me forever to get anywhere, but at least I get there, and that’s all that matters to me.

Back to a Normal Life. Sort of.

Walking_Cane

Yesterday I put my new Schwinn adult tricycle together by myself in the kitchen, which meant that I had to put pressure on my bad leg as I walked around the bike. I told my physical therapist what I did, and that last night I really paid for it because I was in a lot of pain. He told me I was in pain because my leg isn’t used to it, but he said that I’m ready to start putting pressure on it, even though I’m 2-4 weeks early according to my doctor. But I agree with him about being ready because it doesn’t hurt at all to stand only on my right leg. I actually did that at physical therapy with both hands ready to grab something if it hurt, and I didn’t feel any pain. I was more surprised than one of the girls that work there.

One of the therapists showed me the proper way to use a cane. Yes, there is a proper way, I did not know that. I thought I would use my right hand and extend the cane on the same side as my bad leg. I was half right. I have to use my left hand, and I extend the cane and extend my right leg at the same time. So it’s good to know. I used a cane when I came out of the hospital when I had pneumonia only because I felt dizzy. I didn’t have a specific leg that I had to use the cane with, so I just used it to keep my balance.

We happened to have a cane in the car, so when I was on ice in PT, I called my partner and asked him to bring the cane to me, and he did. I walked out with a cane and holding my crutches and the other patients were shocked that I was walking without my crutches. We see each other every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at the same time, so we’ve all become friendly and all know each others names heh. It’s like Cheers.

When we came home, I figured since I can start walking with a cane, it will be so much easier to start doing chores around the house again, like doing the dishes, taking out the dog, doing laundry etc. I took the dog out during The Ellen Show and I was fine. I just did the dishes the other day so we don’t really have that many dishes to do, so I’ll wait until tonight after dinner because I plan on making dinner tonight. I’m so sick of ham sandwiches for dinner lol. Oh, speaking of laundry, we put some clothes in the washer before going to PT and there are towels in the dryer that I have to fold, so I think I’m going to get started. My life has to start getting back to normal some time, it might as well start today.

2 Months

It has been 2 months since I broke my leg and had surgery. The picture on the left was taken last month  on 1/20/2016 and the one on the right was just taken on 2/18/2016. I wanted to show how it’s healing.

My leg still hurts from time to time if I twist my leg at the knee, but that’s about it. My partner was giving them to me every 4 hours like clockwork for the first month because he didn’t want me to be in any pain, which I appreciate. After so much time had passed, I guess he just forgot to give me the pills unless I asked for one. But that’s a good thing because I should only be taking them when I actually need them. They are so expensive that I’d rather only take them when I actually need them.

I go to Physical Therapy 3 days a week and that has helped a lot. I went to Physical Therapy at a place only a block away on the same street a couple of years ago for my back when I found out that I had scoliosis, and I didn’t like going there. I’m HIV+ and they didn’t want me to be in the open room with the rest of their clients, so they put me in a room by myself, which was very awkward because I had to ring a bell when I was done with my exercises and wait for the guy to come give me the tool for the next exercise. I didn’t tell this place that I am HIV+ because it’s not relevant. I’m not going to bleed or ejaculate on anything, so there’s no reason for them to fear me. That other place told me that they want to put me in a room by myself because they don’t want me to catch a cold from one of the other clients, but I’ve been going to PT at this new place for at least a month and I haven’t gotten since yet, and yes, there have been clients who were sick and I never caught their cold.

My doctor told me that I can put pressure on it in between the middle of March until the beginning of April. I wonder if I will replace the crutches with a cane by then. I sure do hope so. I am so sick of crutches. I will blog about that when that time comes.

Broken Leg Update

Leg scar

It has been more than a month since I broke my leg (December 8) and had my surgery (December 16). In my last post I posted a picture of my leg post surgery with the staples still in my skin. They took the staples out 2 weeks after surgery, and this is what it looks like now, almost a month later.

I’ve been doing pretty good, but I haven’t really felt like blogging, or doing much of anything actually. I spend my days in bed playing video games on my PlayStation Vita that my partner bought for me for Christmas. I just bought Lego Batman 3, which I bought because it was on sale for $8, little did I know I already have it on my PlayStation 4. I try to avoid buying games I already own, but I guess this one slipped. I also bought Batman Arkham Origins Blackgate because it was on sale. Other games I have are Minecraft, Terraria, Lego Jurassic World, Little Big Planet, Q*Bert and Ratchet and Clank Full Frontal. I haven’t gotten very far in any of these games because of my addiction to Minecraft and Terraria lol.

The first night when I broke my leg I fell, and then again the night of my surgery, which I spoke about in my last blog post. I haven’t fallen since because my partner has babied me and wouldn’t let me get out of bed for anything. He has brought me all my meals and fed the dog and taken her outside. He’s been a complete angel.

Today I almost fell as I was leaving my bed on the crutches to go to the front door for therapy, but I put my right leg on the ground to prevent myself from falling, and even though I am not supposed to do that, it didn’t cause any pain. I felt tingling in my heel and my toes, and that told me I am not ready to start putting pressure on my leg, but I was only trying to prevent falling. The doctor told me that I can’t put any pressure on my leg until April. The physical therapist said some patients can do it sooner, some later. I heal fast, so I’m sure I’ll be walking with a cane in March, but I won’t hold my breath.

My leg doesn’t hurt as much as it did, but it does still hurt. I have chosen to stop taking my pain medication because it’s Percocet, and the last thing I need in my life is to become dependent on a drug. I would much rather have pain, than become addicted to pain pills.

tens unit

At Physical Therapy, they use a TENS Unit with heat, then I do about 6 or 7 leg exercises, then TENS Unity with cold, and then I go home. They sent me home on the first day with a long piece of rubber with knots on both ends for one of the exercises, and told me to buy a ball and a dog leash for the other exercises. I went a step further and also bought a TENS Unit so I could use that before and after with heat and cold. They wanted to sell me the same one they use on me for $60, but it only has 1 function and doesn’t have all these fancy schmancy buttons, and it also only has 2 plugs for 4 pads. This has 4 plugs for 8 pads. It’s a $200 machine, and Amazon sells it for $35 with free shipping, although I paid $5 for shipping to get it faster, and it comes tomorrow.

The one thing that has been on my mind is the gym. Even though I have a broken leg, I’ve been paying for my membership every month. I tried going there on Monday, the day they charged me, but they said I needed a note, so I brought them the note from the physical therapy office on Wednesday, but it was already too late. But that’s okay, I paid for 2 months I didn’t get to go, but whatever. It’s only money lol. That was said in sarcasm. They did freeze my account and asked me when I would be coming back, and both my partner and I said in unison April 15th, to which I replied JINX, but I guess he didn’t get it because I said it alone. Oh well.

My partner will be giving my bicycle away because we are going to try to get me a adult tricycle because he thinks 3 wheels are more stable than 2. Little did he know, I’ve wanted a tricycle for years, so this works out. I stripped my bicycle of the things I didn’t want to give away so I can use it with the new bicycle in April. I will also be changing my route to the gym so I am riding in neighborhoods instead of riding on Hughes Lane, which is a busy street. I normally try to stick to neighborhoods, so I don’t know why I rode on Hughes. I guess it was just easier, but I will be changing my route, that is if I’m allowed to go back to the gym at all lol.

Anyway, I’m getting better and I will most definitely be filming the TENS Unit on my leg to show how it moves my muscle, because I’m messed up in the head lol. So look forward to that. Tootles!

Broken leg for Christmas

I used to say that all I wanted for Christmas was my 2 front teeth, but what I really want is mobility.

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So I was riding my bike to the gym as I always do, but on December 8, 2015, the city was grinding up the street at Hughes Lane, which is the street I ride to get to the gym. At first I was riding in the gutter before I noticed that I was coming up on the ground up street. I usually stay in the gutter to keep my distance from the cars where there isn’t a bike lane. I was actually doing pretty good in the gutter for quite awhile, until my bike decided to go into the street. That’s when it all went wrong. I was doing okay for a little bit until my front wheel hit the gutter, which was a little higher than the street. I lost control when my front wheel hit the gutter and fell onto the sidewalk. A car pulled over and asked if there was anything she could do, but I wasn’t sure what damage I did, so I just asked her to hand my phone to me to call home. My partner put the bike in the car then tried helping me up, but I knew I broke something, so he called 911 to have an ambulance take me to Mercy hospital.

The emergency room doctor at Mercy hospital ordered x-rays and told me it was broken in 2 places. They actually sent me home in a brace with a referral to an orthopedic clinic. That was Tuesday night and they were closed when my partner called them from the hospital. He had to call them back on Wednesday morning. They called back on Thursday night to tell us that they are rejecting my case. I don’t know why, but I’m thinking they don’t take Medicare and Medi-Cal. They told us to go to Kern Medical Center, so we actually got in the car and drove to the KMC emergency room. They told us that the orthopedic clinic is closed and they would be closed on Friday too, so our best bet would be to come back on Monday morning at 6:30am. They only help the first 20 people, so be sure you’re here before then.

I’m sure there are better places than KMC, but it literally was the only place, so we waited. We arrived at 5:30am and there were at least 8 people ahead of us, and more came after us. They looked at the x-rays from Mercy hospital and told me I would need surgery to put a plate in my leg. That was Monday the 14th. They scheduled my pre-op for Wednesday the 16th and surgery for Friday the 18th. They called us when we came home asking if I was still there, and of course we were home, but they wanted me to come back on Tuesday the next day for pre-med because they rescheduled my surgery for Wednesday instead. That was extremely fast, but it’s best to get it over with. This is the brace they sent me home with after surgery. It’s supposed to help with my rehab when the stitches come out.

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I can’t really get around too well because it’s too painful. My partner doesn’t really want me moving around too much anyway because I’ve already fallen twice. The first time was the first night when I broke my leg on the 8th. I got up to go pee and I did fine getting to the bathroom and coming back to my room, it was trying to get back into bed where it all went wrong and I fell backwards. The second time was when my partner helped me back into my bed after my appointment at KMC. I fell forward onto my bed. Ever since then he doesn’t want to to get out of bed for anything. He gave me a bottle to pee in and he bought a portable toilet for $100 at Walgreen’s to do the TMI thing lol.

They told us to change the dressing, and when we did, we noticed that they stitched me up with staples. Ouch! What am I, paper?

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I wanted to be able to go to the living room for Christmas to be able to look at the tree, but I’m set up nicely in my room, and I really didn’t feel like having to lie on a couch in an awkward position, so we just nixed the idea and I spent Christmas day in my room enjoying my new PS Vita and my new lava lamp.

We go back to KMC in a couple of days for a follow up, and I’m hoping they will remove the stitches because it looks healed up. The staples hurt, a lot!

So what’s going to be my future gym goals? Well, when I’m able to walk again, I’m sure they’ll send me to a clinic to rehab my leg or to teach me how to exercise my leg to get it back to bending again. I’d also like to go to the gym that I’m actually paying for whether I go or not. I’m sure I can walk on the treadmill at 0.5mph just to get my leg bending, but I’m not sure what they will allow me to do. My partner won’t let me ride my bike again. We’re going to give it to a neighbor. He wants to buy me a tricycle, but that’s months down the road, and he’s going to drive me to the gym from now on. He could use the exercise too. We’ll see what happens next.

My Triglycerides Are Super High

My triglycerides have been an issue for a long time. I gained weight when I quit smoking in 1996 because I was tasting food for the first time, or at least it seemed that way because I was actually getting the full flavor of the food for the first time. I guess I had just forgotten what food was supposed to taste like and I went a little overboard. I was 150lbs and gained 50lbs in the first 2 months when I quit smoking. Over the years I gradually gained so much weight until I was my highest at 262lbs in 2013. I lost 70lbs, but I stopped losing weight, and nearly all of the weight came back.

Last month the doctor told me to get my blood tests done a week before our appointment. I was supposed to go in last week on Friday, and we did come in, but the guy just left for lunch and we didn’t want to wait an hour for him to come back, so we just went home and decided to come back on Monday morning. When we went to our appointment today, the doctor told me that my triglycerides were extremely high. He said they should be 150, but they are 332 or so. That’s more than double what they should be.

He told me it’s from eating too many fatty foods, but the problem isn’t the foods that I eat, because I don’t eat fatty foods that often. In fact, it’s very rare. We had Burger King twice this month, and that’s the first time we’ve had Burger King in years. We don’t eat fast food, like ever. When we go to the mall and we get hungry, I always get Subway. That’s about that only fast food I will eat because it’s supposed to be good for you. We don’t eat Subway that often, but when we do eat at a fast food restaurant, it’s usually Subway. At home, I am usually always eating skinless boneless chicken breast and I cut out all the fat. I don’t eat red meat, chicken is the only meat I will eat.

Here’s my issue, I’ve been going to Planet Fitness for 5 weeks. I don’t eat fatty foods. I think the blood report he was looking at wasn’t the new report from Monday, but from my last report from several months ago. He had me do more blood work today, so next month I will find out the results.

Fish OilI asked him what I can do to fix this and he told me fish oil. So, I went to Albertson’s when we came home and bought some fish oil. I read the directions and it says to take 3 pills with a meal every day, so that’s exactly what I will do for the next month. It’s a 30 day supply, so it looks like I will be taking 3 pills a day for the next several months until my next blood report. Hopefully that will lower my triglycerides enough to bring them back down to normal.

The doctor told me that there is fat on my liver and that’s why the numbers are high. The bottle says that fish oil may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. I Googled triglycerides to see what it is, and this is what I found.

wpid-2015-10-23-00.35.14.png.pngStroke??? Holy cow! Yeah, I don’t want to have a stroke, so this fish oil better do what it is supposed to so I don’t have a stroke. That’s a scary thought.

So we will see how things go. My next blood test will probably be in 3 months, and I will find out the results in probably 4 months from now. I will definitely keep this blog updated on the results. Wish me luck.

Experiencing side effects of new a drug

Hydroxyzine

I’ve been having trouble sleeping for a long time. Sleeping pills are useless because I’ll take them at 11pm or Midnight and I’m still up until 3 to 5am, and even then I’m still not tired. I blogged about my chronic insomnia the other day, well, I hadn’t started taking the new meds yet, and now I have.

So this is what it says on Google…

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The doctor prescribed this medication to me because it is non-addictive. I have allergies, but this is not why I am taking it, but perhaps it will help where the claritin hasn’t helped. I am taking this for insomnia, but it doesn’t say that in this description, but it does say one of the possible side effects is Somnolence, which I am definitely experiencing, so if he gave it to me for that side effect to help me sleep, then it’s working.

I’m sorry, but let’s be real with one another right now. I’m having trouble concentrating. I’ve hit the backspace button about 100 times already deleting whole sentences and paragraphs because I just can’t seem to word anything right, or correctly, or… ugh… I find that I am typing, then I stop and stare at the monitor for a few minutes trying to think of what next to say, but it’s like I’m lost, like what am I doing right now? It took me like 10 minutes to even start the first sentence. Another side effect? I’ve been walking at a snails pace throughout the house like I’m doped up. I was watching The Originals on the CW and was falling asleep throughout. It’s a good thing I recorded it on the DVR because I’ll definitely have to watch it again when I can stay awake.

I haven’t been experiencing headaches, but one feels like it is coming on. One other thing I’ve been experiencing is pain in my arms and shoulder. I’ve had this pain caused from the way I sit while playing video games with my PS4 game controller, but the pain hasn’t been bothering me until now, and now it seems like it has been intensified.

So the side effects are somnolence, dizziness, existing pain being intensified, and I feel drugged up. I’m sure the side effects will start to subside when I am more used to taking this medication.

Honestly my brain is dead right now and I don’t even know what else to write so tootles!

Chronic Insomnia

WWS-Insomnia

I don’t know why, but I have suffered from chronic insomnia for at least 21 years. When I was in the hospital way back in 1994 with Pneumocystis pneumonia, I wasn’t taking any HIV medications. The doctor’s told me that I didn’t need to take any medication, so I didn’t take any until I was in the hospital. After I got out of the hospital, I started going to a HIV clinic in downtown Los Angeles. The medication was fine, but I started noticing that I couldn’t sleep very well at night, so when I was at one of my appointments, the doctor asked if I was having trouble sleeping and asked if I wanted sleeping pills, so I said yes.

The doctor gave me a medicine called Trazodone which I took for several years until one morning I woke up with an erection, which is usually common with men, but the erection would not go away. After several hours I decided it was time to visit the emergency room, and they had to inject something into my ass to make the erection go away. It was so embarrassing having to go to the emergency room, and the doctors snickering and gathering around me to look at my erection added to the embarrassment. I told my doctor about it and he told me to stop taking it, but didn’t give me a new prescription, and I was having trouble sleeping again, so I took it once more and it happened again and I had to go back to the emergency room. After that I tossed them in the trash.

After Trazodone, the doctor gave me Ambien which was a miracle for a very long time, but then gradually it stopped working for me. I was on Ambien for too many years, and I think my body built up a tolerance, so I would take it and it would be like 3am and I was still awake. I started eating when I took it, like a banana or toast or something, and that worked for a long time, but eventually that stopped working as well. Last year my insurance stopped paying for Ambien, so the pharmacy didn’t include it with the rest of my medication without any explanation. I assumed the new doctor didn’t want me to take it, but I found out it was the insurance company.

Last month I told the new doctor about my insomnia and the first thing he suggested was Trazodone, which I had to tell him that that medication is not good for me. He gave me Amitriptyline which he said was Elavil. My partner used to take Elavil and that stuff was potent. I would take it, but it would leave me groggy in the morning. He only gave me 25mg and they were tiny green pills as opposed to the big red pills that my partner used to get, but the Elavil 25mg tabs didn’t do a damn thing for me. I took that all month long and I was still awake until 3, 4 or 5am.

We just went to the doctor again yesterday and he gave me something else called Hydroxyzine. I told him about the depression and the anxiety caused from the flashbacks of my childhood and he said this should help out with my PTSD, but as far as it being a sleeping pill, it doesn’t work. It is a antihistamine, so that’s why he gave it to me. I’m supposed to take this one every 6 hours, which is odd, but whatever. I took it last night and was up until 5am and I ended up drinking some Zzzquil to help me get to sleep. I use that out of desperation.

Today I’ve slept the entire day away.  I don’t know if it was because of the Zzzquil or if it was that combined with the new medicine, but I just did not want to wake up. I woke up several times, got on the computer, took the dog out, but then went back to bed. As soon as I finish writing, reading and editing this, I’m thinking I’m just going to go back to bed. I hope I can sleep until morning.

I just hope that I can find something that will help me sleep because I absolutely hate staying awake so late and waking up around noon or 2pm. Although, I think in the summer it might be to my advantage because I can just sleep the heat of the day away.

Noom Week 1 Weigh In

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Today was my first weigh in for week 1. I restarted my weight loss program with Noom less than a week ago, but for some reason, Noom wants me to weigh in twice a week and today was the first weigh in. I started out at 238 and today I was 234.6. I was actually 240 before I began my weight loss program, but I had already dropped 2lbs by the time I started, but I can’t count that. So as it stands I have lost 3.4lbs.

That’s good enough as far as I am concerned. You are only supposed to lose 2lbs a week, so I’m happy with 3.4lbs. I have been dieting and exercising, except yesterday I didn’t because I follow a routine now. I eat lunch at 12, then wait about half an hour before getting on the bicycle, then I try to be finished by 1:45 so I can get in the shower so I can watch tv with my partner. He likes to watch TV with me from 2pm to 5pm because that gives us time together. If we don’t, then we never see each other because of my video game addiction lol. So there is a reason for a routine.

My nutritionist wants me to follow a specific diet where my plate has 1/4 protein, 1/4 starch and 1/2 vegetables. Here are the papers she gave me which shows the plate planner, and breakfast, lunch and dinner.

plate plannerplate planner1

They don’t seem to be too bad. They are actually what SparkPeople wanted me to do, but the thing is, sometimes I don’t want to eat a specific thing. I usually only eat a Weight Watchers frozen dinner which is green in the Noom app. Hey, I lost 70lbs with the weight watchers frozen dinners, so how can I go wrong?

I will do my best to eat a healthy diet, but I can’t promise I will be able to fill a plate since I usually just eat my food from a bowl. If I eat pasta or rice and meat and vegetables, I usually mix the entire amount and eat it in a bowl. I find it better to combine everything because it puts sauce on the veggies so I don’t have to use margarine or butter. Oh and I asked her about that, and she told me to use lemon in place of butter. I haven’t tried that yet, but I have a feeling it isn’t going to be the same thing lol.

Well, I can’t promise I will eat a 3 or 4 course meal, but I will promise to do the best that I can with what I can actually afford on my disability checks. So far the best option for me is 1 weight watchers frozen dinner for $2 at Food Maxx. It fills me up and it isn’t expensive.

I don’t know if I will continue to update my blog every week like I did 2 years ago.

Sleep Apnea

bipap machine

My aunt in Simi Valley and my other aunt who lived in Palmdale at the time (2002 – 2004) both told me when I visited them that I gasped for air in my sleep and that I snored REALLY loud. I never took the snoring issue seriously because I’ve always snored loud, at least that’s what people always tell me. I remember when I was 19 and lived with my sister and her husband in Tujunga and I fell asleep on the floor while watching TV and my snoring actually woke me up lol.

When we lived in the little house next door in 2004, I would wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air. Not like a little gasp and being able to breathe like normal, I mean I was choking and I could not get any air at all. It was frightening, to put it mildly. Just imagine not being able to breathe for several minutes and feeling like you’re going to die soon. What happened was, when I was sleeping, my airway would close, causing me to not be able to breathe. Try as I might, I could not get any air. I would even vomit during this. Vomit was able to leave my mouth, but then my airway would close up again. Eventually the airway would open and I could breathe, and then I would have really bad acid reflux. My doctor gave me a inhaler, and that would help until I could get a sleep study referral, which took a long time to get.

I was diagnosed with sleep apnea in 2005. They told me at the sleep study that I would stop breathing for 25 seconds, then breathe for 35 seconds (or maybe it was the other way around) and this went on every minute. I don’t recall if they told me that I gasped for air or not during the sleep study, but I’m sure I did. Thankfully I didn’t vomit lol.

I received my BiPap machine in September 2005 and I used it faithfully every night until 2013 when I lost 70lbs. I was told that if I lost enough weight, I wouldn’t have sleep apnea anymore, and for the last 18 months I didn’t. The last week I’ve had to start using my machine again because I would wake up in the middle of the night with really bad acid reflux, which is always an indication that I need to use my BiPap machine.

One of the concerns I have is that if I don’t use my machine, I could die of a heart attack or stroke in my sleep. My mother was overweight and she died of a heart attack in her sleep. I don’t know if she had sleep apnea, but I do remember that she snored really loud, so I am only assuming that she did, and that was how she died. I was told that sleep apnea is genetic, and that the reason I got it was because a family member had it. My aunt in Palmdale moved to Texas and was also diagnosed with sleep apnea. She and my mother have the same father, but different mothers, so perhaps this was bestowed upon us by my grandfather, who also gave me the gift of male pattern baldness lol. I’m not complaining, I wouldn’t have it any other way, and every time I look at it in the mirror, I see him and it makes me smile because I loved him.

So I called Monitor Medical today and told them that I was using my machine again, and they made a note in my chart. I would really hate to leave this world and leave my partner because I was dumb enough to stop using my BiPap machine. It’s very irresponsible of me! I hate that I have to use it, but it keeps me alive. I would love to go back to losing weight, but it will happen if it is meant to be. In the meantime, I was continue to use my machine until I don’t have to use it again, but honestly, this is probably going to be with me until the day I die.

If you or someone you know has really bad snoring issues and they might gasp for air, tell them to get to their doctor for a referral for a sleep study. Sleep apnea is a matter of life and death, so when you see someone snoring, don’t laugh at them or ignore the problem, tell them to get to a doctor stat! You will thank me later.

Oh and by the way, the machine at the top, that is a stock photo, but it is the machine that I have. And in case you are wondering about CPAP vs BIPAP, the CPAP uses one pressure and the BiPAP uses two. These two pressures are called inhalation pressure (IPAP) and the exhalation pressure (EPAP). Everyone I have spoken to who has sleep apnea uses a CPAP and they tell me they’ve never even heard of BiPap before. So now you know.