What has 2 thumbs and a Planet Fitness Black Card membership? This guy!

Yes, I finally went to Planet Fitness and bought a membership. My partner and I both walked around the gym to see what machines they had and what the massage chairs and hydromassage beds and tanning bed look like. We also saw the Total Body Enhancement “chamber” as I like to call it. I asked what that was and the guy said everyone asks the same question. Well I mean, it begs to be answered. He said it vibrates your body, increases blood flow, opens your pores and does something with the red light to help burn fat. I don’t know exactly what he said, but I certainly want to know more about this machine.

Now when he mentioned the red light, of course what came to mind was watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta when Kim rented some machines with a red light, and oddly enough an attendant who rubbed this lotion on its skin… oh sorry, had a flashback from the Silence of the Lambs. Anyway, it rubs the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again. Ugh darn it, I’m sorry, it’s a jerk reaction. Anyway, the red light was a totally different light from what I saw in the Total Body Enhancement chamber in Planet Fitness. Theirs is just a thing you stand in and it has red lamps and from the video I saw on YouTube you have to stand there for 12 minutes or so depending on the level you are on. I honestly don’t know how to work the machine because I haven’t been there yet, but a woman on a video shows you how to work the control panel and it was so fast I had to watch the video 3 times and I’m still not sure how to use it, but all I know is with the pain I feel in my back, standing there for 12 minutes is going to be torture. Another woman said she does it before she does her workouts.

The guy at Planet Fitness who registered me today told me that I have unlimited guest privileges and I pointed to my partner, and he mentioned that as a guest he can use the facilities with the exception of the massage chair, hydromassage bed, tanning bed and torture chamber, er um I mean Total Body Enhancement torture chamber. He didn’t care, but I kind of felt bad because how awful would it be if he were sitting there waiting for me to finish my massages while he’s sitting there like gee thanks for nothing. I mean, I wouldn’t be too happy, but then again he doesn’t really care to go to any gym at all. We are polar opposites. I like exercise, he doesn’t. I like science fiction, he prefers documentaries. I like Facebook, he likes Fox News.

He told me that he would not mind going if the doctor told him it was ok, and naturally when we went to the doctor on Friday, he “forgot” to mention going to the gym, so of course I mentioned it to the doctor and he said that he is 100% in favor of both of us going to the gym. So there you go, the doctor said do it, but start out slow for the both of us and work our way up to whatever you are comfortable with.

Anyway, I am totally excited. I made a new keychain (image above) that is purple and yellow to match the colors and I went to the store and bought some empty shampoo and body wash containers so we can shower after our workouts. I also bought 2 new puffy thingamabobs. That’s the technical term. They’re both purple for Planet Fitness’ colors lol. I also bought a brand new combination lock for $5 and 2 sports bottles so we can drink some water during our workouts. Oh and I also bought new purple shoe laces lol. My old red ones from Bank of America were worn out and I needed a change anyway.

Tomorrow when I go to the gym, and I am going to the gym tomorrow even if I have to ride my bicycle in the heat, I want to go to the cashier to buy a new gym bag with the Planet Fitness logo because they are $10 on the website. I’m assuming they are $10 there too. At least I am hoping. They have a neoprene armband for your phone, which I’m going to use because I don’t want to keep my phone in my pocket during my workouts. I have a new pair of headphones from the Sears outlet right next door to the Planet Fitness with a cool flat wire and a volume control on the wire along with a on/off mute button. It has a mic, so maybe it’s a mute for when I’m on the phone, but when I’m just listening to music maybe it turns the volume on/off. I really dig that flat cable though lol. The headphones are also for listening to the TV while I’m doing cardio.

I’m excited to go to the gym and I plan on taking a buttload of pain meds just in case. Right now I’m in absolute agony. No, seriously, it’s torture. I used the shiatsu massager that I have that sits in my desk chair 3 times today and I’m still in pain. I can’t wait to use the hydromassage bed and the massage chairs. I really do need those and I am really glad I got the black card membership instead of just a regular membership.