Tag: adults

Depression

On By Michel McDonaldIn BullyingLeave a comment

depression-1

Do you mind if I vent for a minute?  I wouldn’t normally blog about this because it happens to me a lot, but sometimes I just have to get it out.

Imagine being in high school and the other kids are pointing and laughing at you because of whatever reason.  You don’t quite fit their definition of the perfect human, so they point and laugh.  Well, imagine being 42 years old and people (adults) driving by your house while you’re walking the dog and they slow down as they are passing you and are blatantly pointing and laughing at you.  Not just one person in the car, but the driver and his three passengers.  It doesn’t feel good, I know because that happens to me a lot, in fact it happened to me again today.

There is an apartment building in our neighborhood that just so happens to be a section-8 apartment building, not that there is anything wrong with people who have to be on section-8, but that apartment seems to attract the lowest of the low.  There are mostly gang members and ever since they moved in to that building last year, they have been calling me “Big Gay Al” whenever I ride to the store.  As a matter of fact, I was exercising on my bike, riding 23 miles a day trying to lose weight and it was their “Big Gay Al” that made me stop riding.  It put me in a deep depression and I just gave up on trying to lose weight.  Since then they drive by laughing at me.

What’s funny is that they walk by the house all the time either alone or in groups and never once say a word to me, it’s only when they are in their car when they start spewing all this vile hatred at me.  That to me is cowardly.  I mean, calling me names is cowardly on it’s own, but doing it in a way that they don’t have to worry about confrontation because they have a vehicle to drive away is even more cowardly.

Look, I know it’s not going to be the rest of my life, that these asshats are only here until either their lease is up or until they get so many complaints that they end up getting evicted, but it still hurts that I have to be the target.  I’m sure they pick on other people, but I seem to be one of their main targets.  And it’s not just them, there have been other tenants who have targeted me and they tortured me for the duration of their tenancy in that building.  I don’t know how or why I have become the target though.  Is it because I am bald, fat, gay or all of the above?

I am just so irritated.  I’ve been down in the dumps the whole day because of it.  When I get upset I have panic attacks and all of a sudden I’m really hungry and have to eat whatever I can get my hands on.  I don’t want to blame people for my obesity, but they are certainly a factor.

“It Gets Better!”  I just have to keep telling myself that.

I just want to cry my eyes out because I don’t know what else to do.  I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I know blogging about this didn’t make me feel any better, but it was a step.  I’m sorry you had to read that lol.

“My secrets video – It Gets Better” by Savealifeful on YouTube

On By Michel McDonaldIn It Gets Better1 Comment

Gay bashing/bullying is not a new fad, it has been happening for decades.  It is a very sad thing and I feel sorry for every gay person who went through it.  Ever since children started committing suicide because they couldn’t take the bullying anymore, people have been making “It Gets Better” videos and posting them on YouTube.  I love to watch them because I love to see the positive message at the end.  These videos are meant to help children change their minds about suicide, but it also helps us adults who after all those years are still contemplating it.

Take a look at this one.  His YouTube channel is called savealifeful and he brought me to tears with his story.  When he says that the bullies taped him to a pole and then taped his hair, tears flooded my eyes, actually I’m starting to tear up again just thinking about the torture he went through.  Take a look at his story.  Perhaps he will inspire many others out there who are depressed and wanting to make that final decision.  Maybe his video can save a life.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L5pIreg-7c

Indigo Adults – eBook

On By Michel McDonaldIn IndigoLeave a comment

Where to start… I found out about a month or two ago from talking with a childhood friend of mine that I am an Indigo Adult.  He was telling me about how he is overly aware of things, you know like his soul, his mortality and just everything.  You know when someone tells you to stop and smell the roses every once in awhile?  Well, he smells the roses every second, not just once in awhile, all the time.  Well, I’m overly aware too.  I always have been.  He’s telling me all of these other things and I’m just sitting there thinking oh my god, me too.

Everything he is telling me is just ringing true with me and the more we talk, the more information and I just start feeling a little overwhelmed and need to take a step back.  I understand it all but my brain can only process so much information at one time, especially at the beginning.

So I found this eBook in the B&N Nook store called Indigo Adults for $9.99 but I couldn’t afford it right away, I finally bought it on January 20th but I didn’t actually start reading it until the 4th because it just so happened that my blog bought the farm right around the same time I bought this book.  I tried reading it but I couldn’t focus on it because I was too busy thinking about my corrupt blog database.

I started reading it on February 4th and I finally finished reading it today and my mind is completely blown away.  There were so many things in there that just had me thinking OMG ME TOO!  It talked about children with ADD and I was diagnosed with that in my 20’s but I was also diagnosed with a learning disability when I was a child in elementary school so I’m thinking that because they didn’t have ADD back then, I should’ve been diagnosed with that instead.  Although I guess it’s both but still, it helped me to learn something about myself in that respect.

I wanted to discuss some things that I highlighted but when I went to look for an example, all of my highlights were completely gone.  They disappeared from my Nook for some reason, that bugs me because I spent so much of my time highlighting instead of reading.  So I have nothing to offer as an example besides the ADD thing.  I guess the only thing there is left for me to do is read the book again.  I’m going to read it again anyway because I think that my mind was so blown away that I didn’t learn a few things so I want to go over it again.

Do this test, if you can relate to most or all of those then there is a good chance you are an Indigo Adult too.  I relate to everything in that bullet list.  Knowing that there is a name for it helps me in regard to helping me understand myself a lot more than I did before.  I would suggest that if you relate to those things in that list then this book will blow your friggin mind.

I am interested in hearing from some Indigo adults to compare notes with.  If you are an Indigo Adult, please, leave a comment and I will definitely get back to you.

Thumb Sucking Adults

On By Michel McDonaldIn Daily Blog4 Comments

What is up with thumb sucking adults?  I’ve seen teenagers with a pacifier in his/her mouth or sucking their thumb.  Today we passed this lady in her car sucking her thumb while driving.

I’m not here to make fun of anyone but I just want to know why they do it?  I’ve been reading up on it and apparently it’s all psychological.  But there are problems associated with thumb sucking.  Such as your teeth grow so that your thumb can stay in your mouth and your tongue gets this white coating on it.  Your thumb also can get sores on them where the teeth are biting down on them as well as your skin becomes red and infected because of the constant moisture from the inside of your mouth.

Not only that but your fingers are digging in your purse or pocket, intermingling with objects outside of the mouth such as poles, door handles, money… etc.

It’s a disgusting habit and these adults need to grow up and stop sucking their thumbs and teenagers especially, it doesn’t look cool to either be sucking your thumb or have a pacifier on a necklace around your neck.  Come on, seriously, pick up a different habit because you look like you belong in a psycho ward.  It’s hard to look like a thug with a pacifier in your mouth.  If you come up to me with your jeans around your knees showing me your boxers with that street thug strut, don’t expect me to take you seriously when you have a pacifier or your thumb in your mouth.

The Bokni Magus

On By Michel McDonaldIn Games, PSPLeave a comment

Well, I finally got my character back up in level so he is back to where he was last night.  I’m even back to the mob boss I was at last night who kept killing me which eventually lead me to exit the game and start playing the other one.

I’m back to him and I thought that the only thing that would help me was my ranged weapon but I shot at him over and over and over until all my ammo was gone and had used up almost all my HP potions and I still died.  That guy just won’t die.

What I’ve read other say in message boards is that the only way to kill this guy is to run around the edge of the walls until he stops to recharge his mana or whatever then try to kill him.  I’m not sure if that will do me any good because he heals so fast.  Even if I did wait for him to gain more mana then try to attack he’d probably gain his mana fast enough to heal himself and I’d never kill him.

I read that it took 1 person 2 weeks to finally off this guy.  Someone said try the multi-player mode and get help with it but most of the people chatting in the multi-player chat room are little children from the way they are talking to each other.  You know the way kids talk to each other, 1 insult after the other.  Yeah OK, some adults are like that too so I’m not sure who is who anymore lol.

I’m going to try one of the techniques I’ve read about tomorrow.  For now my left hand is hurting me from the analog stick thingy.