My Funny Childhood Phrases

When I was growing up my parents and aunt said the funniest things to us kids. Like for example, when someone farted they would call it “stepping on a frog”. Have you ever heard anyone refer to it as that? The reason they said that was because back in the 70′s the word fart was a bad word. It was such a bad word that we would get slapped (or in my case beat) if we said it. So the nicest way of saying it was stepping on a frog.

Every night when we went to bed, my mother would tell us “Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite, if they bite, bite them back.”

When I was in my late 20′s I said that to a friend of ours who lived right on the beach in Malibu just before she went to bed and I got a tongue lashing from it. ”HOW DARE YOU” and that wasn’t from the friend, that was from Darrin. How dare I accuse her of having bed bugs, she’s rich, she lives in a beach house in Malibu. How dare I even suggest that she has any bugs in her house.

It’s funny how despite my best intentions, something from my childhood isn’t quite accepted by anyone other than my family members.

And yes, that is me on the right, the girl on the left is my older sister. I don’t remember the occasion that picture was taken but I think it was when we lived on Holtby Road here in Bakersfield which is oddly enough on my exercise bike route. I pass that house every time I ride my bike to the bike trail.

Naughty Words on TV

I’ve been watching TV for a very long time.  At least 36 of my 38 years that I can remember.  I remember when I Love Lucy couldn’t say 1 bad word.  It actually wasn’t until the 80’s when the Golden Girls started saying Bitch.  Then before you know it, cop dramas started saying Shit.  Hey, if they can say it on TV, then I can say it in here.

The cartoon South Park says a lot of bad words like God Damn.  They say it all the time.  That’s like the ultimate bad word because it has God in it.  You can’t say that on tv.  Well, apparently they can because they do and they’ve carried it over to every other show on tv.

Now, this word I know isn’t a bad word, in fact it’s just silly.  Douche Nozzle.  I’ve been calling people a douche bag for years since I was in junior high school, even though I had no clue what it was until high school.  But you know, people have been saying that as long as douche’s have been around I’m sure.

Last night, on Knight Rider, the female lead Sarah called Michael a douche nozzle lol.  I was like OMG I can’t believe she just said that.  Yeah I’ve heard it in the movies but I’ve never heard it on TV coming from a woman.  And I don’t mean that to sound like a double standard so I don’t want to get emails or bad comments but you know, I was shocked to hear it from HER.  LOL