Scariest day of my life

Yesterday, October 19th, 2021, was the scariest day of my entire life.

I woke up and went to the bathroom, just like any other day. The only difference is I was having trouble urinating. It was like there was a plug in my urethra preventing the urine from coming out. Except, something was coming out. I stood up and looked in the toilet and there was a long dark, almost black stream going down the inside of the toilet. I turned the light on and I could tell it was blood. I continued urinating standing up and blood just poured out into the toilet.

I went to the living room to tell my life partner that something was seriously wrong. He went into a full on panic because this isn’t something that happens every day. I was in a state of shock, and I was more trying to calm him down rather than worry about the blood in the toilet.

We drove to the doctor’s office to see if they could see us even though today is actually when we have an appointment. They couldn’t see us, so we went home and figured we would just go to our appointment.

I had more urges to urinate, and it was painful. I went to the bathroom and continued urinating blood. Suddenly it started sputtering, and I saw several blood clots, but I continued urinating blood.

We decided to go to the emergency room. They did a CT scan and couldn’t find any reason for why I’m urinating blood. No kidney stones, no infection, no obvious visible reason. The doctor told me that it’s possible I might have bladder cancer, but I would have to go see a urologist so they could run a camera through my urethra to my bladder to look to find the issue.

Last night just before bed I urinated one last time and sudden sputtering again, several blood clots, then regular urine with no pain. This morning I woke up at 5 am to urinate and it was fine. I went back to bed and woke up at around 8:30am and went to the bathroom and everything seems to be back to normal.

This is the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my life, and I’m 51 years old. I’ve been through a lot of drama and trauma, but this one thing that happened to me yesterday was the worst thing to ever happen.

I don’t drink soda, or alcohol. I drink coffee in the morning and then I drink water the rest of the day. That’s all I drink. So I don’t understand why this happened. Now I can’t even drink coffee because the paperwork from the hospital said no caffeine for awhile.

We go to the doctor today and I’ll show him the pictures of the blood in the toilet on my phone and give him the papers and the CD from the CT scan from the hospital and I’ll have him refer me to a urologist and get that taken care of as soon as possible. That’s not something I want to mess around with. I’ll update this blog when I get new information.

Thank you for reading.

Update October 24, 2021: I woke up this morning, went to the bathroom and it wasn’t painful, but there was blood. I went 4 days with regular normal urine, then it was back, but it was only that one time. I’ve urinated several times since then, but I just wanted to update this to say it happened again this morning. Tomorrow I’m calling the urologist to find out if they got my referral yet and if so, could we make an appointment for as soon as possible. I don’t want to wait too long to fix this issue.

Update November 1st, 2021: I saw the nurse practitioner at the urologist today. He said the CT scan shows I have an enlarged prostate, which the ER doctor apparently didn’t tell me about. I’m now taking Flomax. Not looking forward to those side effects. Anyway, they’ll run the camera to my bladder in december.

Update December 15, 2021: I went to the urologist today and they put the camera into my urethra to my bladder and there wasn’t anything wrong with my bladder. I was able to crane my head so I could look at the TV monitor and he showed me a big lump that was inside my bladder, but he said that that was my prostate pushing on my bladder. Other than that there is really nothing inside my bladder that would give anybody any worry to believe that there is anything wrong with me. As he pulled the camera out, you could see that the urethra was getting smaller because my prostate was pushing on my urethra. So no cancer. No problem.

Everyone Needs To Take A Chill Pill

chill pill

I seriously don’t know what is up with people these days.  President Obama gets reelected, and all of a sudden people start freaking out and he hasn’t even done anything yet.  Seriously, people need to calm the “F” down and take a chill pill because the world is watching, and you are showing them exactly what they think of us already.

The first thing I see on the internet after Obama was reelected was the Billionaire CEO of a company threatened to fire his employees if Obama gets reelected, but thankfully he changed his mind and gave them all raises.  Then a Las Vegas CEO fires 22 employees because of Obama’s reelection.  WTF?  Those CEO’s are billionaires whose incomes are probably about a million times more than what they would lose from Obamacare, if that.  Those people needed their jobs, how greedy can one person be to fire people when nothing has even happened yet?

Then I see that Papa John’s is going to start cutting the hours of their employees and/or raising the price of the pizza by 11 to 14 cents.  What?  You just gave away 2 MILLION FREE PIZZAS, and you are going to take it out on your employees over something that hasn’t even happened yet?  But don’t worry about Papa John because there is going to be a Papa John’s Pizza Appreciation Day which is a repeat of the Chick-Fil-A appreciation day… which reminds me…

Remember when Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy came out saying he was against gay marriage and all the gays went nuts and started boycotting?  It wasn’t because of what he said but because of what he did, or had been doing for many years which is donating millions of dollars to anti-gay hate organizations who were lobbying for the “Kill the Gays Bill” in Uganda, which I’m sure you know by now has passed.  So thanks to all of you who ate at Chick-Fil-A even when you found out that Dan Cathy was homophobic and even though you knew he was donating millions of dollars to fund anti-gay hate groups.  Those gay Ugandan’s bloods are on your hands.  Mike Huckabee, I hope you appreciate that because you started the Chick-Fil-A appreciation day to spite us, so your hands are especially bloody because you just killed millions of innocent gay people.  And that’s not hyperbole either.

Getting back to where I was…

This guy wrote a blog post and it is in the New York Magazine saying this:

“All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Democrats are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.” – Eric Dondero

Really?  You are that upset that you are going to shun your family and friends for voting for Obama?  I will tell you why I voted the way I did right now.  I’m gay and I’m a Democrat!  Need I say more?  First of all, I would’ve rather had Jill Stein because I was more compatible with her than Obama, but I voted the way I did because I couldn’t vote for Mitt Romney.  I mean, I am gay and Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are anti-gay.  Why in the hell would I, a gay man, vote for people who hate me?  It doesn’t make sense, so of course I wouldn’t vote for them.

Paul Ryan said he was going to use federal money to fight for DOMA in the courts to defend marriage so gay people can’t get married.  Why the hell would I vote for him?  And Mitt Romney said that he was going to end hospital visitations for gay couples because he believes that being able to visit a dying spouse in the hospital is a “privilege,” not a right.  How dare anyone decide whether I can visit my life partner of 18 years in the hospital or not.  That’s just not ethical, which is why I could not in all conscience vote for Romney/Ryan.

Like I said, I don’t know for a fact that these people unfriended me for political reasons, but one of them blocked me so I will never know for sure.  I sent the other one an email, so I will find out that answer and hopefully soon because my feelings are hurt over it.  I basically lost a best friend over, I don’t even know why.

I thought we lived in a democracy where everyone had the freedom to have their own opinions and was allowed to vote how they wanted to.  I didn’t get unfriended when Obama won in 2008, so why unfriend me now after all we have been through?  And even if Mitt Romney did win, I wouldn’t unfriend my republican friends because that’s just stupid.  Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

Ok so that’s not all.  This woman said something so racist and so reprehensible on Facebook that Fox 40 in Turlock wrote an article with video saying the secret service was investigating her for saying, and I quote here:

“Another 4 years of this (N-word),” Helms wrote. “Maybe he will get assassinated this term.”

In the video she was shocked that what she said was wrong.  She later apologized only because (and this is my assumption) she was forced into it.  I’m sorry but it’s too little too late for apologies.  You called the POTUS a hurtful term that was used to oppress a race of people and called for his death, you don’t do that no matter how much you dislike him.  You just don’t do that.  What is wrong with you?  Seriously people, what is wrong with her?  She must have gone insane to think that what she said was okay.  She said that her friends told her it was racist and even though she couldn’t understand why, she apologized.  Dumb, dumb, dumb!

Then…  A woman blames her husband for Obama getting reelected and tries to run him over with her jeep.  WHAT?  Have you heard enough?  Cause there’s more.  He didn’t even vote!  Why did she do that?  They were having an argument in a parking lot that was very loud and she blamed him for Obama being reelected because he didn’t vote.  The thing is, they live in Arizona and Mitt Romney won Arizona by 200,000 votes, so even if he did vote, he is not responsible for Obama winning the presidency with his 1 vote.  Luckily for him, he’s in the hospital still alive, and also lucky for him, she is in jail for domestic violence for aggravated assault.  The funny thing is, she wasn’t even inebriated at all.  Not high, not drunk, just pissed off.

But that’s not all.  Now 19 states have filed petitions to secede from the rest of the country because Obama was reelected.  Seriously?  Are you actually serious?

All of these temper tantrums just need to stop.  Don’t fire people or raise the price of pizza or run over your husbands or shun your friends just because Obama was reelected as the president.  Don’t act so hasty and make permanent decisions that have life long consequences.  Think about what you are doing first and make sure that you have cause for your childish behavior.  Stop thinking of yourselves and quit acting like such children.

It’s done, he’s the president, deal with it.  There is nothing you can do, so just deal with it and move on with your life.  Stop being so angry all the time because life is what you make of it, and if you are an angry bitter person because of who the president is, then you are going to have a bad life.  You are only passing your anger onto those who love you and they aren’t going to want to keep you around if you are just going to bring them down every time you open your mouth.  Trust me, I know.  I have had to live with “Obama said this” or “Obama did that” for the last 4 years and frankly I’m sick of hearing it, and now I have to hear it for another 4 years.  I can’t keep living this way.  Stop putting it all on me and just move on to something more positive damn it!

I am stepping off of my soapbox now.