Back On Weight Watchers with @Noom

smart-ones

I have been eating Weight Watchers Smart Ones and using the Noom Weight Loss Coach on my Android phone since January this year and have lost 70lbs, but then I stopped eating the Smart Ones because we couldn’t afford them anymore.  Naturally I hit a plateau and haven’t been able to get out of it.  Not only that, but I have gained 5lbs UGH!  I refuse to let that happen, so I printed out 2 coupons today and we went to Food Maxx and I bought some more Smart Ones frozen meals.

These meals scan as green in the Noom app and they have been proven to be effective, I mean hello, look at me, I’ve clearly lost a lot of weight.  Here are my official before and after pictures.

before and after morro bay

All I keep hearing is that I’ve done so good for such a long time and how it’s okay to eat junk every once in a while, but all of a sudden every once in a while is daily.  No, every once in a while is once or twice a month, I can’t eat a burrito at the Mexican restaurant, then a McChicken sandwich the next day at the McDonald’s and the next day a bag of chips or a few cookies.  That’s not how “every once in a while” works.  I refuse to go back to the way I was.  I have worked too freaking hard to go back now.

I could say no, but here’s the thing.  I’ve been saying no for more than 7 months.  I’ve been saying yes lately because I miss those foods.  You can’t eat something your entire life and then all of a sudden stop and not miss them.  You wouldn’t be human if you did.  It’s natural to want something that makes you feel good or happy, and junk food really does make me happy lol.  Don’t ask me how or why, it just does.  Everyone has their own happy trigger, this is mine.  Some people are happy with alcohol, some are happy with drugs while others are happy with cigarettes, I’m happy with junk food.  It’s my addiction and I am trying to get away from it.

I haven’t stopped logging my food, but I do skip logging the bad things because I know I’m not supposed to be eating them so I ignore those calories, but I can’t do that.  If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it right.  So I’m logging everything and eating only food that is good for me.  The Michelina’s were yellow in the Noom app, the Weight Watchers are green.  No more cookies or crackers, if I want a snack I’m going to eat a banana.  We just bought 2 bunches of bananas, so I’m going to slice 2 of them up and freeze them so I can make banana ice cream later tonight for my snack.

I also have my bike back so I can start exercising again.  I don’t have any excuse to not eat healthy or to not exercise.  I want to be healthy and it starts with me learning to say no.  NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!  There, I said it.

I know the weight loss won’t come as fast as it did when I was 264lbs, but I hope it isn’t as slow as it has been over the last few months.  I really do want to get back down to the weight I was, which was 192, but I really would love to get down to my new goal weight which is 170lbs.  I know I can do it, I just have to have a lot of will power.  No, a ton of it.  I only have this one body so I have to be good to it.

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My Eating Disorder

overeating disorder

When I was a kid, I had a huge appetite, but I never gained any weight because, well, I was a kid and kids back in the 70’s and 80’s were more active than they are now.  As a kid, I was always riding my bicycle, roller skating or doing who knows what.  As a pre-teen and a teenager I was busy working with my step-father in the apartment building painting vacant apartments or doing whatever it was that he made me do, so I was constantly burning calories.

I was actually very fit throughout my entire childhood and through my teen years and even through most of my twenties.  I was also a smoker from age 15 to 26, and that’s when it all went downhill for me.  As soon as I quit smoking it was like my taste buds were brand new and everything tasted awesome.  My partner hates it when I say this, but everything new was like having an orgasm in my mouth lol.  I kid you not.

When I quit smoking in 1996, it only took maybe 2 months before I went from 150lbs to 200lbs, it was that quick. The reason was that I was eating sunflower seeds from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to bed.  I was told to keep that hand to mouth going to keep me from wanting a cigarette, but nobody told me how fattening and salty sunflower seeds were.  It wasn’t just that, I also discovered something I rarely ate throughout my life except for those certain special occasions.  Twinkies, ice cream, cake and doughnuts.

You know when you are so proud of yourself for accomplishing something that you want to reward yourself?  Yeah, don’t do that.  I was so proud of myself for quitting that I was literally eating Twinkies and ice cream everyday.  EVERY DAY!  We had a Winchell’s down the street from us and we were constantly going there and buying a dozen and splitting the box and we both would just sit there eating doughnut after doughnut until the box was empty.  Not good!

We would go to McDonald’s and buy one of their birthday cakes and we would literally eat the whole cake by ourselves.  Holy crap!  It was good though.  We didn’t really have a grocery store near us, and the little markets didn’t sell cakes so that was the only place for us to buy cake.  Plus it was really cheap so that’s why we bought it there.

We went to Sizzler in Hollywood and we discovered that they had an all-you-can-eat salad bar.  We took advantage of that because it wasn’t too expensive and we would keep going back until we were full, which you know you shouldn’t do, but you do it because you feel you want to get your moneys worth.  Then one time we went and decided not to get the salad bar, but to get some actual food, so I got Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken.  That was the very first time I had ever had that.  My mother never made it when I was growing up and I never even heard of it before that day.  OH MY GOD!

As the years went on I was getting fatter and fatter.  We discovered Hometown Buffet and Golden Corral.  We couldn’t leave the place unless we were both so full that we literally couldn’t swallow another drop or eat another bite of whatever.

My hunger went off the charts at home.  I would eat a big breakfast and within an hour I was hungry again, so I would eat something.  I would have lunch and the same thing would happen again, I would get hungry, but this wasn’t just a hunger, this was a demand from my stomach.  My stomach would literally hurt, that’s how hungry I would get.  My stomach would grumble and I would feel pain and my hands would start trembling like I was a drug addict and I needed a fix.

I couldn’t just eat a sandwich for lunch, If I did have one, I would still be hungry so I’d make another and I’d probably still be hungry so to have something different I would put 4 hot dogs, yes, you read right, 4 “four” hot dogs in the microwave.  Guess what?  I’d be hungry again an hour later.  My stomach would hurt again and I’d get the shakes.

Whenever we would buy pizza, we always got 2 large pizzas with 2 toppings each, but they had different toppings so we had two choices.  I would usually (to be polite) put one of each on my plate and eat them, but then I’d go to the kitchen and as I was “putting the boxes away” I would eat two more slices, one of each.  In an hour I’d come back to the kitchen and grab one more, then another and another.  We always had enough pizza for lunch the next day, but only because I felt guilty about eating so much so I was saving those last slices lol.

I was going to the grocery store every day to buy our dinner, but I would always leave with an extra goodie that I would eat on the walk home.  Then I started getting greedy and would buy a couple or a few goodies.  I was snarfing a package of Twinkies and a candy bar or two.  I can just imagine what people were thinking as they were passing me while I was holding the grocery bag(s) with one hand, and stuffing my face with the other.

Suddenly I was no longer just 50lbs overweight, I was more than 100lbs overweight and I couldn’t stop my hunger from controlling my life.  I had type-2 diabetes because I was eating so much food and sugar.  I was trying to control my diet by cutting out the sugar, but I was still eating bread and pasta which we all know turns to sugar, so I wasn’t really controlling it like I thought I was.  The hunger, the stomach pains and the shakes were still there, still controlling me.

I want to say it wasn’t my fault because I take medication that has that side effect, but I also had an addiction to food, so I can’t just blame the medication.  When most people think of an eating disorder, they typically think of people who either don’t eat or they eat and then puke it all up, but they are unusually thin.  I have the opposite.  Sorry, I had…  I have to correct myself because that was the old me and I am not that person anymore.

I will be 43 in less than 2 months and I am just now learning how to eat properly.  I mean, I’ve always known, but I ignored it because I wanted to eat poorly because I was selfish and stubborn and stupid.  I didn’t care until I noticed how bad it was getting and how horrible the pain was.  I now know what I have to do to live a healthy lifestyle and I am never going back to that unhealthy place again.

Thanks to the Noom app on my cell phone for helping me to learn what is right to eat and what is wrong, I now can eat healthy food so I can avoid the mistakes I made before.

Since January 5th, 2013 I have lost 50.4lbs officially as of today, April 20th, 2013.  I couldn’t be more happy with my progress.  I feel so much better about myself and I am no longer starving all the time.  I can’t tell you how good it feels to be able to eat a normal portion of food and be satisfied with it.  I don’t live to eat anymore, now I eat to live.

I have set the Noom app to lose 63lbs and according to the estimated end date, I will be finished by June 3rd 2013, but that date changes weekly.  It is so close I can feel it.  I know I will reach this goal and then I can continue to lose more weight.  I don’t want to be fat and unhealthy anymore.  I quit smoking and I don’t drink or do drugs so I don’t have any actual addictions, and now I have kicked my eating addiction so I am officially addiction free.  Well, I am still addicted to Facebook, but I mean come on, who isn’t?  Right?

So… until next week. 🙂

Glowing Review from Marguerite Labbe

I woke up this morning and immediately turned on my computer so I could check my email while I ate my breakfast and I came across an email from my favorite author Marguerite Labbe.  She posted a review of my book on her blog and I was so beyond excited because I wasn’t sure how people would feel about reading my book, but apparently it’s good.

Marguerite Labbe is an award-winning M/M author.  She wrote those gay vampire books that I love so much starting with  “My Heart Is Within You.”  I really love to read supernatural fiction, especially when they have vampires, ESPECIALLY when they are gay vampires lol.  She really knows how to capture the raw sexuality of two hot gay men better than I have ever even experienced.  Let’s just say that I had to take several bathroom breaks when I read her book.

MargueriteLabbe.com: Diary of a Gay Nerd by Michel McDonald

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 2012

Diary of a Gay Nerd by Michel McDonald

“I’ve had a hard time putting into words how I felt when I read Michel’s memoir.  Many parts struck a chord in me from my own childhood, though I was far luckier than Michel was and I didn’t have the added alienation of being gay.  I’ve known Michel for several years now, ever since he picked up my vampire trilogy and we started talking.  In that time, I’ve found him to be a very kind, passionate and determined man.  After reading his memoir I have to add brave to that as well and not just for what he endured and overcame.  To be able to write something like this, with such unflinching honesty, takes a rare kind of person.  Michel doesn’t gloss over his own mistakes, but puts them out there just as baldly as the abuse he went through.

“I am honored to know such a man and call him my friend.”

How awesome is that?  When I first read her book after buying it from Rainbow eBooks, I knew I had to find her on Twitter and tweet her telling her how awesome her book was.  I was surprised that she responded, but equally surprised that she continued talking to me through Twitter.  We have been talking ever since.  I think Twitter is one of the most amazing online services ever invented.

Thank you Marguerite Labbe for writing this review.  I have added it to the Barnes & Noble website btw.

It’s Totally Tuesday at Rainbow eBooks

I love Tuesdays because that means that Rainbow eBooks has a sale on all of their new releases, which mine happens to be, new that is and on sale at 15% off.  It’s regularly $6.99, but you can buy it today for only $5.94.

Diary of a Gay Nerd by Michel McDonald – Totally Tuesdays at Rainbow eBooks

If you have a Nook just download the epub file, if you have a Kindle, download the mobi file.  If you don’t have an ebook reader then you can download any file, mobi, epub or pdf.  They all work with PC if you have a PC ebook reader.

Is it Divine or Psychic?

Last night when my shows were finished I had to go to the grocery store so that I would have some body wash to wash myself with this morning after my bike ride.  I’m standing in front of the body wash trying to find which one was more affordable since they skyrocketed in price.

This very tall guy came over to me and asked if my name was Bill, I looked up at him and said nope, it’s Mike and he said ok thanks and walked away.  Half a minute later he and 3 other people, 2 women and another guy came over to me.  One of the women introduces herself to me and says that the 2nd guy wrote down the name Michael and Michelle.

I’m thinking, what the hell is going on?  Why do they care what my… then it kicks in, they’re bible beaters.  They had decided they were going to go “pray” for someone and so they thought ok, let’s write down some things and see if we can find a person who resembles anything we write.  The two guys wrote down different things so they were looking to see who would be right.  I don’t know if it was a bet or if they were just going to see who would be more on target than the other.

They wrote down first names, the one guy wrote Bill and the other guy Michael and Michelle.  They wrote down a place to go, Albertson’s and McDonald’s.  They said they were going to go to Denny’s but decided let’s try the Albertson’s/McDonald’s combo, they’re right across the street from each other and Denny’s is across town.  They also wrote down a few other things.

Ok so getting back to it, when the 2nd guy said Michael/Michelle I said well actually, both are correct.  Let me explain.  My name is Michel.  That’s pronounced like Michael here in the US but it’s pronounced Michelle in France.  It’s a french name.

When they told me they were going to go to McDonald’s I told them, well my last name is McDonald.  They were blown away.  I told the first guy, you said bill right?  Well, my sisters first boyfriends name was Bill.  They were blown away again.  I thought it was hilarious.

The second guy said they were looking for a guy in khaki shorts which I was wearing.  He also showed me that he wrote down the word Superman, they were looking for someone possibly wearing a superman t-shirt.  Well, I wasn’t but I am a huge superman fan.

I didn’t tell them this but when I say I love superman, it’s not like when someone says they love something.  I really REALLY love Superman.  Ok not sexually but I am a HUGE fan.  I watched every episode of the Adventures of Superman with George Reeves from the 50’s but in the 70’s.  I LOVED that show.  I have seen every Superman movie.  I missed Lois and Clark in the 90’s, I’ve seen a few episodes and I’d like to see it from beginning to end.  And I have seen every episode of all 10 years of Smallville.  I read some Superman comic books in my childhood.  Not every issue, only what my parents could afford to buy me.  I LOVE Superman lol.

Oh the first guy, the tall guy said the word “Burgerstan” which threw me for a second.  I said that we (when I say we I mean Darrin and his brother) used to own a house on Berger Street.  Burgerstan, however it’s spelled sounds very similar to Berger Street.

As I’m confirming all of these things I’m getting chills.  I knew that at some point it was all leading to them praying for me and even though I don’t really like that, I figured, they got all these things right, or I helped them interpret them as right, I may as well let them do what they were going to do.  You know?  I don’t like it but I let them, as if it was their prize or something lol.

So it all eventually lead to it and they asked if they could and I said yeah, might as well but do it before the store closes lol.  So the second guy is praying and he finishes but then one of the girls wanted to pray too and I’m thinking oh god, just get it over with so I can get home.  I saw in my peripheral vision a store employee look over at us and I mouthed “help me” but he walked away.  DAMN HIM!

I tell you, I was a bit freaked out.  I asked them if they were all psychic and they said no it’s the power of god or divine something or other, which I don’t believe in but whatever.  I believe that there may have either been some psychic energy happening or it was all coincidence.  Who knows.  I thought it was creepy but also amazing at the same time.  I didn’t need to be prayed for, no, I didn’t WANT to be prayed for lol.

Whatever, there you have it.  My freaky night last night lol.

Save the Dollar Menu

It has recently come to my attention (via a comment in my KFC Dollar Menu post) that there is a website out there claiming the dollar menu is going away. ”Save the Dollar Menu!” has names, addresses and phone numbers of McDonald’s executives. You can call them and beg them to keep the dollar menu.

After a little research, I have found out that this is false information. The “Dollar Menu” is not going anywhere.

I came across a news article in the Media Post news website saying McDonald’s Considers ‘Tweaking’ Dollar Menu. The problem is with the increasing prices of food ingredients, they are going to lose money so they will probably raise the price of everything in the dollar menu but they aren’t getting rid of it entirely. In fact, they are even keeping the name “Dollar Menu” even though it’s going to be more than $1.

I know I’m gonna get comments from people saying that I’m advocating junk food and I’m a fat slob blah blah blah. Well, I’m not. I’m just setting the record straight.

I think there is a pro and a con to having the dollar menu. Wanna hear them? Of course you don’t but I’m gonna tell you anyway.

Pro: Groceries are very expensive. Try going to the grocery store and buying all the ingredients just to make 1 double cheeseburger or 1 chicken sandwich. It’s expensive! If you go to McDonald’s it’s only $1. That’s what I like about the Dollar Menu, it’s inexpensive and very convenient. You don’t have to buy the ingredients for many and you don’t even have to dirty any dishes in the process. It saves time and money.

Con: The problem with the dollar menu is that people take advantage of it and end up overeating because it’s so cheap. You can buy more than just 1 double cheeseburger or chicken sandwich, you can buy 10 if you like and sit there in your car and binge on fast food. Then you get fatter and fatter. That’s a reason people are so fat but not the only reason but it’s a reason.

You can blame McDonald’s for getting fat but the only real person to blame is yourself. You don’t have to order more than 1 burger you know. The dollar menu isn’t a challenge, it’s there to help people who can’t afford to pay $4 for everything else in their menu.

So the dollar menu isn’t going anywhere any time soon. There’s no reason to panic people with stupid websites like the “Save the Dollar Menu!” website. I’m sure there are better things to do with your time than to put people in a mass fast food panic.

Blame McDonald’s

I was browsing YouTube and came across this video of Morgan Sperlock from Super Size Me that someone had put the bonus feature from there on their YouTube page.  You know the one where he puts several burgers and fries into jars and watches how they all mold except for the McDonald’s fries.

Then I saw another video of this woman over at diet health channel who used to be fat but hello, she’s not skinny yet… talking about how bad McDonald’s is and she carries around a 4 year old happy meal.

I am not siding with the fast food industry.  And I’m especially not siding with health experts because I’m constantly seeing all these obese people telling me how to lose weight when they are fat themselves.  I had a friend who passed away who was a vegetarian and she was constantly putting me down for eating fast food yet I was 150lbs and she was more in the neighborhood of 400lbs.

All I’m saying is, fast food has been around for decades.  Actually the first McDonald’s opened up in 1940 so there has been fast food for 69 years.  So if eating McDonald’s causes such obesity then why is it that it’s taken until the 1970’s or 1980’s until people started having issues with their weight?

Yes there has been fatness throughout history.  In the last thousand years the only way you could tell the rich was by how fat they were.  All the skinny people were skinny because they were so poor and all the kings and queens were fat.  Obesity was a sign of wealth.  That’s not the case anymore.

But I digress.  You cannot blame the fast food industry for your own obesity because it wasn’t the fast food industry that made people fat, people made themselves fat me included.  I became obese when I quit smoking and started eating more junk than normal because I wasn’t exercising anymore and I was eating more food because I was exchanging one habit for another.  I don’t blame anybody but myself.

When I quit smoking I could’ve done it differently but I didn’t.  I was rewarding myself with ice cream, something that I loved but hardly ever ate because I could never afford it because I was spending all of my money on cigarettes.  Then I started spending what was my cigarette money on fast food.  I could’ve just either saved it and bought groceries maybe or some other treat, maybe video games?  But instead, I ate fast food.  I had a choice.  It was a bad choice but it was mine to make.  They weren’t begging me to eat their food.

And yes their “supersize me” offers were just too good to pass up but I didn’t have to.  In fact, they have such good price now that I don’t even need a large french fry, I can get a small fry for $1 on their dollar menu.  It’s even cheaper now to eat there but you know what?  I don’t eat there and I’m still fat.  I eat fast food sometimes but it’s not daily.  I could probably afford McDonald’s or Taco Bell’s value menu more than I can afford groceries but I choose to buy groceries instead.

I have also chosen to exercise and ride my bike so I am dealing with my obesity by doing something about it and not bitching about how McDonald’s made me fat.  Don’t blame others for your own mistakes.  After all, they are just trying to make a quick buck but you can hold onto that buck and make a better choice instead.  They do have salads after all.  Actually when I worked at McDonald’s as a teenager they had salads and they sold a lot of them too.