Depression

depression-1

Do you mind if I vent for a minute?  I wouldn’t normally blog about this because it happens to me a lot, but sometimes I just have to get it out.

Imagine being in high school and the other kids are pointing and laughing at you because of whatever reason.  You don’t quite fit their definition of the perfect human, so they point and laugh.  Well, imagine being 42 years old and people (adults) driving by your house while you’re walking the dog and they slow down as they are passing you and are blatantly pointing and laughing at you.  Not just one person in the car, but the driver and his three passengers.  It doesn’t feel good, I know because that happens to me a lot, in fact it happened to me again today.

There is an apartment building in our neighborhood that just so happens to be a section-8 apartment building, not that there is anything wrong with people who have to be on section-8, but that apartment seems to attract the lowest of the low.  There are mostly gang members and ever since they moved in to that building last year, they have been calling me “Big Gay Al” whenever I ride to the store.  As a matter of fact, I was exercising on my bike, riding 23 miles a day trying to lose weight and it was their “Big Gay Al” that made me stop riding.  It put me in a deep depression and I just gave up on trying to lose weight.  Since then they drive by laughing at me.

What’s funny is that they walk by the house all the time either alone or in groups and never once say a word to me, it’s only when they are in their car when they start spewing all this vile hatred at me.  That to me is cowardly.  I mean, calling me names is cowardly on it’s own, but doing it in a way that they don’t have to worry about confrontation because they have a vehicle to drive away is even more cowardly.

Look, I know it’s not going to be the rest of my life, that these asshats are only here until either their lease is up or until they get so many complaints that they end up getting evicted, but it still hurts that I have to be the target.  I’m sure they pick on other people, but I seem to be one of their main targets.  And it’s not just them, there have been other tenants who have targeted me and they tortured me for the duration of their tenancy in that building.  I don’t know how or why I have become the target though.  Is it because I am bald, fat, gay or all of the above?

I am just so irritated.  I’ve been down in the dumps the whole day because of it.  When I get upset I have panic attacks and all of a sudden I’m really hungry and have to eat whatever I can get my hands on.  I don’t want to blame people for my obesity, but they are certainly a factor.

“It Gets Better!”  I just have to keep telling myself that.

I just want to cry my eyes out because I don’t know what else to do.  I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I know blogging about this didn’t make me feel any better, but it was a step.  I’m sorry you had to read that lol.

DC Universe Online

I know I am late to this party, but I finally discovered DC Universe Online.  Since I have the station pass, I now have complete access to all of Sony Online Entertainments online PC games such as EverQuest, EverQuest 2, Planetside, DC Universe etc.  I do play EverQuest and EverQuest 2 and I’ve always wanted to play DC Universe and now I finally get that chance.

I thought that since it was the same company that made EQ, I figured the game play would be the same where I just hit the arrows to move forward, backward and so on, but this is way different.  In order for me to move, I have to move the mouse for direction (forward and side to side) while hitting the forward key.  That’s kind of difficult to do considering the mouse is on top of the desk and I use my right hand, and the arrow keys are on the right side of the keyboard in the keyboard tray.  Since my right hand is on the mouse, I have to reach my left hand over to the arrows.  I’m sure there is an easier way, maybe I can hit W or something to move forward, I don’t know.  In EQ and EQ2 you can hold both mouse buttons to move, but with DCUO, the mouse buttons are for fighting, not direction.  It’s very confusing and will take awhile to adjust.

The game is very fun and I’ve already gotten to level 5.  There are only 30 levels in the game, but I think I’m fine with that.  I mean, I don’t plan on playing this game for the rest of my life.

My character is a superman type of character where I can fly and he is fire based, so all of my abilities involve fire, obviously lol.  I can’t run fast like other people who I have seen playing a “Flash” type character, but I’m good with what I have.  I have found that the space bar sends me up in the sky, so when I am about to die, I just start pounding on the space bar to save myself.

This game takes a lot of skill to play, but my main reason for wanting to play it is because I have always wanted to be involved in something where I am a superhero, like Superman.  I would eventually love to create a Wonder Woman type of character, male or female, yes I have that option as a male.  I would also like to try a Batman type character and even an evil villain type of character.

Oh, just in case you are wondering what my character’s name is, it’s Xanapan.  I tried Xanaman, but that was taken, so I just changed the “M” to a “P.”  I know, it’s not very clever, but I’m hooked on the Xana name lol.

Well, I am off to go save some innocent citizens.

The Situation Roast Fail

Did anyone catch the roast of Donald Trump last night?  It repeated and I watched it 3 times.  It was just so funny that I couldn’t resist.

There were some very funny people and one not so funny person, the Situation.  I don’t know who wrote his jokes for him, that is if he didn’t write them himself, but assuming he wrote them I think he should have gotten some advice from a professional comedian to help him with his homework.  He didn’t do so good.

A couple of his jokes were funny but the rest was just tragic.  I really started to feel sorry for him.  If that were me I wouldn’t have kept going, I would’ve stopped and said “ok that’s my time, you’ve been great” then slunk back to my chair to sit quietly, or leave to go crawl under a rock for the rest of my life lol.  But he didn’t, he just kept going because he apparently thought he was funny enough to continue despite all the people who were booing him.

I don’t watch Jersey Shore so his jokes were lost on me and apparently nobody else who was there watch the show so maybe that’s why his jokes were lost on everyone.

His roast of Whitney Cummings was ok, poorly executed but ok but his roast of Anthony Jeselnik is where things went wrong.  He said that he was telling one of Anthony’s jokes to a super model while he was banging her with tons of money on the floor in his mansion.  Who says that?  Then he said he banged 5 or 6 more models.  That’s not even funny.  Was he trying to say that he’s a stud?  Because bragging like that just makes you look even more pathetic.

Well, despite this idiot, the roast was great.  Anthony Jeselnik was a great replacement for our friend Greg Giraldo who passed away last year (rest in peace).

Mike… keep your day job, whatever that might be.

Watch the clips of his suckfest then watch the funny clips on the Comedy Central website.