I FOUND My Paternal Father’s Family

After 33 years I finally found my paternal father’s family. Unfortunately, my paternal father has passed, he passed away a couple of years ago, but I found his family.

I’ve been searching for years. My aunt told me his name in 2002, but she didn’t have the correct spelling, so I was looking for different spellings of his last name. I have called people and asked if they had any information, but no one could give me anything, and they didn’t want to give me their email address so I could send them a picture.

Earlier I mentioned doing 23andMe and that didn’t really give me any information about my father since there were no siblings or 1st cousins who had done the test. I thought 23andMe was the most popular test, so that’s why I chose that one, but apparently AncestryDNA has even more people who tested their DNA because I was told you will find way more people there. So I did AncestryDNA, but the results still haven’t come back.

I was on Ancestry populating my tree and I started searching for my father through Military records. I was told by someone that the uniform he is wearing in this photo was a ROTC uniform by someone who is currently in ROCT at their school, so I just assumed that my father may have lied about going to Germany in the military, but that’s wrong, he was in fact in the military, but I couldn’t find any record of him being in the military.

I found a guy who was born in California in 1947 and he had a mother in California and the father listed for him was Stanley. I contacted the person who had listed Stanley as the father, and they told me that is false, and then they directed me to a document on Google Books that shows who his father and mother were, and even showed he had a son. So, I thought ok, well I’m pretty sure this is the guy, but I’m not absolutely positive. I corrected the parents and contacted the person who had his actual father listed on September 25th and she contacted me today, October 1st and she told me that I do have the correct family, that Ronald Leland Shurtleff IS my father. She asked me to email her the picture and to call her, so I emailed her and then I called her and she kept saying I was his son, but I kept asking her to look at the picture first to make absolutely 100% sure she could verify that the picture I sent her was Ronald Leland Shurtleff, so she looked and said Oh yeah, that’s him and your grandmother.

You have no idea how hard it has been not knowing who my father was for 48 years of my life. I knew my step father wasn’t my real father, I just knew it, and my mother told me the truth when I was 15 that I had another father out there in the world. I’ve felt like I had a hole in my heart and soul that could never be filled until I found him.

Not only do I have a father, who by the way isn’t alive, which I was prepared for, but I have a brother and a sister and a whole bunch of cousins. The woman I spoke with was so happy to finally hear from me. You have no idea how that feels for me to finally fill this void. Or maybe you do, I don’t know you lol. I can hear someone say “you don’t know me!” lol.

Anyway, the woman I spoke with today said she was going to email me pictures of my father, and she’s going to contact some other family members and give them my number to call me, so I am waiting for that so I can get more information and so I can connect with as many people who want to connect with me. I especially look forward to hearing from my siblings.

I am so happy, nervous and very emotional.

Advertisements

Style Exposed “Sperm Donor: 74 Kids and More”

I was fortunate yesterday that I found the most wonderful gift in the tv guide.  It was a show called “Sperm Donor: 74 kids and more” on the Style channel.

With a title like that, who couldn’t resist watching it?  It put’s the show “19 kids and counting” to shame.

We meet this man named Ben who was hurting for money when he was in college and when he heard he could make $900 a month donating his sperm, he took full advantage of the situation.

Hey, I don’t blame the guy.  I mean, your body is constantly generating something that usually just goes into a tissue, why not make some money right?  I mean, if I had a dollar for every tissue I threw away I’d be the richest man on the planet.

Unfortunately for him, his fiancé doesn’t like knowing that not only was her future husband a sperm donor, but now he is finding out that his donations have produced more than 74 children.

There is a scene where they are in a restaurant and she is telling him that he is selfish for letting this happen.

What?  He’s selfish?  Is she kidding me?  If anyone is selfish here it’s her because if it wasn’t for Ben donating his sperm, there wouldn’t be so many happy families out there with children that they couldn’t produce on their own.  His donations gave people the gift of life.

They showed a couple who used Bens sperm donation because the husband was shooting blanks.  They wanted children but he wasn’t able to give one to his wife.  They decided to use the donor sperm and they made daughter out of it.

That daughter found out that he wasn’t her real father so they sneaked a q-tip from her fathers trash can in his bathroom and sent it in for DNA testing.  She discovered that he wasn’t really her father.

She signed onto this website where people who were born from donated sperm could find not only their donated father but also perhaps other donated siblings by way of the donated sperm donor number.

It just so happened that Ben signed up for the same website so he was able to find more than 20 of his children.  He thought that perhaps he might have 100 or maybe even 120 children out there but he wasn’t sure.

Two of his daughters found each other through the website and they were able to meet and they hope that one day they might have a relationship with their sperm donor father.

There was another woman who had 2 children from Bens donated sperm and she told her oldest daughter who was in my opinion too young to know.  The reason I say that is because she wasn’t mature enough to understand the circumstances for why she was created.  She thought that her mother had a relationship with Ben and when Ben meets her mother he would fall in love with her and marry her.

This poor little girl thought that Ben was breaking up with her mother because he was getting married to someone else.  In that situation I think that she should have waited until her daughter was at least 15 or 16 years old before telling her.

The problem that most people will have with this is that he has 74 kids, more than most people should have.  First of all they aren’t his children.  I mean sure they are technically his because they have his DNA but he doesn’t have any responsibility towards them.  I’m sure he signed away his parental rights the minute he handed over the little cup.

His fiancé is worried that he will want to have a relationship with all of those children.  She’s afraid that there might be a reunion every year.  Well so what if there is!  If that’s what he and the children want then I don’t see why they shouldn’t get that.

If all of the siblings find each other and want to have their own reunion then I really don’t take issue with that because they are all half siblings.

It’s funny because the first thing that came to mind was that these kids need to know each other.  What if they meet, get in a relationship, get married and have their own children then find out that they are really brother and sister?

It is up to those kids parents to talk to their kids and say look, I used a sperm donor so that we could have you.  That sperm donor isn’t your father, he’s just a donor.  Your father is still your father.

And if that parent is a single parent or a lesbian couple then they need to have a different conversation.  “Ben isn’t your father, your other mother is your father.”

I don’t think that what Ben did was as wrong as his fiancé thinks he is.  She needs to stop being such a jealous and selfish person.  In my opinion, Ben doesn’t have any children because he didn’t make them with another person, other people made those children.  Ben masturbated in a cup, multiple cups and he shouldn’t be penalized for that.

His fiancé needs to realize that what he did was a good thing and move on with the rest of their relationship.  Stop thinking about how horrible he is for having 74 kids and more and start focusing on the love that they have for each other and possibly the baby they will make with each other.

On a side note, did anyone who watched that show see a resemblance to Seth Rogen?  He had the curly hair, he sort of had Seth Rogens face, he definitely had Seth Rogens voice and laugh.

I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say that Ben might have fathered Seth Rogen.  Ok so maybe that’s not possible but maybe they might be related to each other some other way, maybe their real father was a sperm donor.  Hey, it could happen.