My Eating Disorder

overeating disorder

When I was a kid, I had a huge appetite, but I never gained any weight because, well, I was a kid and kids back in the 70’s and 80’s were more active than they are now.  As a kid, I was always riding my bicycle, roller skating or doing who knows what.  As a pre-teen and a teenager I was busy working with my step-father in the apartment building painting vacant apartments or doing whatever it was that he made me do, so I was constantly burning calories.

I was actually very fit throughout my entire childhood and through my teen years and even through most of my twenties.  I was also a smoker from age 15 to 26, and that’s when it all went downhill for me.  As soon as I quit smoking it was like my taste buds were brand new and everything tasted awesome.  My partner hates it when I say this, but everything new was like having an orgasm in my mouth lol.  I kid you not.

When I quit smoking in 1996, it only took maybe 2 months before I went from 150lbs to 200lbs, it was that quick. The reason was that I was eating sunflower seeds from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to bed.  I was told to keep that hand to mouth going to keep me from wanting a cigarette, but nobody told me how fattening and salty sunflower seeds were.  It wasn’t just that, I also discovered something I rarely ate throughout my life except for those certain special occasions.  Twinkies, ice cream, cake and doughnuts.

You know when you are so proud of yourself for accomplishing something that you want to reward yourself?  Yeah, don’t do that.  I was so proud of myself for quitting that I was literally eating Twinkies and ice cream everyday.  EVERY DAY!  We had a Winchell’s down the street from us and we were constantly going there and buying a dozen and splitting the box and we both would just sit there eating doughnut after doughnut until the box was empty.  Not good!

We would go to McDonald’s and buy one of their birthday cakes and we would literally eat the whole cake by ourselves.  Holy crap!  It was good though.  We didn’t really have a grocery store near us, and the little markets didn’t sell cakes so that was the only place for us to buy cake.  Plus it was really cheap so that’s why we bought it there.

We went to Sizzler in Hollywood and we discovered that they had an all-you-can-eat salad bar.  We took advantage of that because it wasn’t too expensive and we would keep going back until we were full, which you know you shouldn’t do, but you do it because you feel you want to get your moneys worth.  Then one time we went and decided not to get the salad bar, but to get some actual food, so I got Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken.  That was the very first time I had ever had that.  My mother never made it when I was growing up and I never even heard of it before that day.  OH MY GOD!

As the years went on I was getting fatter and fatter.  We discovered Hometown Buffet and Golden Corral.  We couldn’t leave the place unless we were both so full that we literally couldn’t swallow another drop or eat another bite of whatever.

My hunger went off the charts at home.  I would eat a big breakfast and within an hour I was hungry again, so I would eat something.  I would have lunch and the same thing would happen again, I would get hungry, but this wasn’t just a hunger, this was a demand from my stomach.  My stomach would literally hurt, that’s how hungry I would get.  My stomach would grumble and I would feel pain and my hands would start trembling like I was a drug addict and I needed a fix.

I couldn’t just eat a sandwich for lunch, If I did have one, I would still be hungry so I’d make another and I’d probably still be hungry so to have something different I would put 4 hot dogs, yes, you read right, 4 “four” hot dogs in the microwave.  Guess what?  I’d be hungry again an hour later.  My stomach would hurt again and I’d get the shakes.

Whenever we would buy pizza, we always got 2 large pizzas with 2 toppings each, but they had different toppings so we had two choices.  I would usually (to be polite) put one of each on my plate and eat them, but then I’d go to the kitchen and as I was “putting the boxes away” I would eat two more slices, one of each.  In an hour I’d come back to the kitchen and grab one more, then another and another.  We always had enough pizza for lunch the next day, but only because I felt guilty about eating so much so I was saving those last slices lol.

I was going to the grocery store every day to buy our dinner, but I would always leave with an extra goodie that I would eat on the walk home.  Then I started getting greedy and would buy a couple or a few goodies.  I was snarfing a package of Twinkies and a candy bar or two.  I can just imagine what people were thinking as they were passing me while I was holding the grocery bag(s) with one hand, and stuffing my face with the other.

Suddenly I was no longer just 50lbs overweight, I was more than 100lbs overweight and I couldn’t stop my hunger from controlling my life.  I had type-2 diabetes because I was eating so much food and sugar.  I was trying to control my diet by cutting out the sugar, but I was still eating bread and pasta which we all know turns to sugar, so I wasn’t really controlling it like I thought I was.  The hunger, the stomach pains and the shakes were still there, still controlling me.

I want to say it wasn’t my fault because I take medication that has that side effect, but I also had an addiction to food, so I can’t just blame the medication.  When most people think of an eating disorder, they typically think of people who either don’t eat or they eat and then puke it all up, but they are unusually thin.  I have the opposite.  Sorry, I had…  I have to correct myself because that was the old me and I am not that person anymore.

I will be 43 in less than 2 months and I am just now learning how to eat properly.  I mean, I’ve always known, but I ignored it because I wanted to eat poorly because I was selfish and stubborn and stupid.  I didn’t care until I noticed how bad it was getting and how horrible the pain was.  I now know what I have to do to live a healthy lifestyle and I am never going back to that unhealthy place again.

Thanks to the Noom app on my cell phone for helping me to learn what is right to eat and what is wrong, I now can eat healthy food so I can avoid the mistakes I made before.

Since January 5th, 2013 I have lost 50.4lbs officially as of today, April 20th, 2013.  I couldn’t be more happy with my progress.  I feel so much better about myself and I am no longer starving all the time.  I can’t tell you how good it feels to be able to eat a normal portion of food and be satisfied with it.  I don’t live to eat anymore, now I eat to live.

I have set the Noom app to lose 63lbs and according to the estimated end date, I will be finished by June 3rd 2013, but that date changes weekly.  It is so close I can feel it.  I know I will reach this goal and then I can continue to lose more weight.  I don’t want to be fat and unhealthy anymore.  I quit smoking and I don’t drink or do drugs so I don’t have any actual addictions, and now I have kicked my eating addiction so I am officially addiction free.  Well, I am still addicted to Facebook, but I mean come on, who isn’t?  Right?

So… until next week. 🙂

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I’ll Give You 4000 Reasons To Quit Smoking And Start Vaping

Image Source http://www.stopsmokingtip.us
Image Source http://www.stopsmokingtip.us

When I was fifteen-years-old, I started smoking for the wrong reasons.  I wanted to be able to hang out with my sister in the smoking section of my high school.  She didn’t really want me to hang out with her, so her friends told me that because I didn’t smoke, I didn’t belong in the smoking section.  I decided to start smoking.

I had an eleven year addiction that I couldn’t get rid of.  When I was nineteen-years-old I tried to quit smoking with this system where you put a plastic filter on the filter of your cigarette that was supposed to keep you from getting the harmful chemicals.  Every pack of cigarettes had a new filter and that seemed to work and I actually quit smoking.  It was difficult to remain a non-smoker when everyone around me was telling me it wasn’t going to last long.  Instead of encouraging me, they mocked me and even blew smoke in my face.  It didn’t last very long and I took up the bad habit because I was shamed back into it.

In 1996 I was living in an encouraging environment with my partner Darrin.  He never discouraged me from doing anything that I wanted to do.  I told him that I was sick of smoking and we both decided to go to the drug store and buy the Nicotrol patch to help me, and I finally quit smoking and I haven’t smoked since.

I have told that story to everyone that I know who still smokes and they tell me that the patch hasn’t worked for them, or it’s too expensive, or this excuse, or that excuse.  Listen, you don’t have to quit just because I am telling you, because believe me, I hated all those ex-smokers who tried to get me to quit smoking when I didn’t want to.  I vowed when I quit smoking that I would never become the typical preachy ex-smoker.

However, I have found something that will be worth listening to.  There is a relatively new technology out there called an e-cigarette, and I know you have heard of it, but haven’t bought it because it’s “not the same” as a “real” cigarette.  Well, let me just try to show you something you probably already know, but don’t want to know.  These are the harmful chemicals that are in your “real” cigarette.  There are 4,000 chemicals that you are exposing yourself, your spouse, your co-workers, your children and your pets to every day.  Here is just a handful.

    • Benzene (petrol additive)
      • A colourless cyclic hydrocarbon obtained from coal and petroleum, used as a solvent in fuel and in chemical manufacture – and contained in cigarette smoke.
      • A known carcinogen associated with leukemia.
    • Formaldehyde (embalming fluid)
      • A colourless liquid, highly poisonous, used to preserve dead bodies – also found in cigarette smoke.
      • Known to cause cancer, respiratory, skin and gastrointestinal problems.
    • Ammonia (toilet cleaner)
      • Used as a flavouring, frees nicotine from tobacco turning it into a gas
      • Often found in dry cleaning fluids.
    • Acetone (nail polish remover)
      • Fragrant volatile liquid ketone, used as a solvent, for example, nail polish remover
      • Found in cigarette smoke.
    • Tar
      • Particulate matter drawn into lungs when you inhale on a lighted cigarette. Once inhaled, smoke condenses and about 70 per cent of the tar in the smoke is deposited in the smoker’s lungs.
    • Nicotine (insecticide/addictive drug)
      • One of the most addictive substances known to man, a powerful and fast-acting medical and non-medical poison.
      • This is the chemical which causes addiction.
    • Carbon Monoxide (CO) (car exhaust fumes)
      • An odourless, tasteless and poisonous gas, rapidly fatal in large amounts
      • The same gas that comes out of car exhausts
      • The main gas in cigarette smoke, formed when the cigarette is lit
    • Others
      • Arsenic (rat poison)
      • Hydrogen Cyanide (gas chamber poison)

So that is what you are getting when you smoke a cigarette.  What do you get when you vape with an e-cigarette?  You are still getting the nicotine, but when you buy (or make) your e-liquid, you can order it with less nicotine every week or every month (it’s your decision how fast or slow you want to quit) until you are no longer dependent on the nicotine.

The chemicals you are getting in an e-cigarette aren’t harmful compared to a real cigarette because you are most likely exposed to them on a daily basis, but let’s take a look at what they are.

Propylene glycol is used as a ‘humectant’ which means it maintains moisture levels in food products, cosmetics and tobacco products. Humectants are what make hair conditioning products work as well as create the ‘moisturizing’ effects of many common cosmetics and consumer products we take for granted such as: make up, mascara, hand creams, body lotions as well as shave creams, shampoos and soaps. Additionally, propylene glycol is used as a solvent to enhance the ability of artificial flavorings to remain suspended in solution in products such as toothpaste and mouthwash.

Vegetable glycerin is also known as vegetable glycerol. It is a carbohydrate that is usually derived from plant oils. It is used as a sweetener and as an ingredient in a number of cosmetic products. Vegetable glycerin is also used in place of alcohol to extract botanicals.

You can read more about Propylene Glycol and Vegetable Glycerin at the Zeus E-Juice website.

When they mix your e-liquid for your e-cigarettes, they generally mix 50% of PG with 50% of VG, depending on how you like it, and they add whatever amount of Nicotine for the milligrams you request.  The final ingredients are food flavorings to give it a pleasant taste like Strawberry, Banana, or even Chocolate or Vanilla Ice Cream.  The list of flavors is long, but you get the idea.

Zeus e-Juice is a great website for buying e-liquid.  Why?  Because you are saving a crapload of money, that’s why.  Consider this.  You are paying $4 or $5 per pack of cigarettes.  A 5ML bottle of e-liquid is only $2.49.  1ML of e-liquid compares to 1 pack of cigarettes which means you are only paying .50 cents.  A 30ML bottle of e-liquid is only $10.49 which breaks it down to .35 cents a pack.  If saving money doesn’t convince you then I am at a loss.

So when you switch to e-cigarettes, you are moving away from the dangerous chemicals that can basically kill you, to something that tastes good and doesn’t kill you.  You will also prevent the weight gain by continuing the motion of smoking long after your addiction has faded.  When I quit smoking, I gained 50lbs and have gained another 50lbs since because I replaced smoking with food.  You can keep that from happening because the sweet flavors will keep your taste buds satisfied long after you’ve kicked the habit.

Does this convince you to quit smoking and switch over to e-cigarettes?  I hope so, because I don’t like knowing that friends, family and heck, even strangers that I don’t know are getting cancer, emphysema, leukemia, heart diseases and even dying because they refused to kick the habit.

For more tips on kicking the habit, please visit http://www.stopsmokingtip.us.

Image Source http://www.stopsmokingtip.us.  Other sources http://www.stop-smoking-programs.org and https://www.zeusejuice.com

Possible Weight Loss and Health Benefits With E-Cigarettes

I have been thinking about Vaping a lot lately.  Not just for the benefit of smoking an e-cigarette, but to help me lose weight.  What if you could lose weight simply by “vaping” with an electronic cigarette?  Here me out on this one because I’m really seriously wondering if it would help.

When I smoked cigarettes as a teenager and in my 20’s, I wasn’t always hungry because as we all know, cigarettes are an appetite suppressant.  Although I did still eat food, I just didn’t eat as much, I especially didn’t eat as many sweets as I do as an ex-smoker.  When I quit smoking in 1996, I gained 50lbs almost within the first few months because I had replaced the bad habit with another bad habit, ice cream, twinkies, donuts and sunflower seeds.  All of a sudden I had a craving for everything sweet that I denied myself when I smoked.  Here we are 16 years later and I am over 100lbs overweight and I can’t seem to lose weight at all.  I have been able to maintain it, but every so often it goes up a bit.

This company named Zeus E-Juice sells E-Liquid for your Ego E-cigarettes in many sweet flavors.  I was wondering if perhaps that might cure my sweet tooth so I’m not going to the store and buying junk food.  I try to stay away from junk food because I am diabetic now, so I’m not supposed to have any sugar, but that doesn’t stop me.  If I “Vaped” with sweet tasting E-Liquid, would that take away my cravings altogether so I can lose weight? I mean, I just want the sweet taste in my mouth, you know?  But we all know that I’m not going to chew on something sweet just for the taste and then spit it out into a napkin.

I did a Google search and I think I might have found my answer.  Someone asked the very same question in an e-cigarette forum.  Vaping to help with diet urges…  Here are a couple of short responses.

  • Some people have reported losing weight after starting to vape, some haven’t. It’s not really intended for that purpose. But to each their own.
  • Look up Steeljan on Youtube and shoot her a message. She actually started vaping as a way to curb sweet cravings and lose weight.  (I intend on asking her)
  • Since beginning vaping there have been no more trips to the snack machine at work or stopping at the convenience store for a snack while driving. That alone has helped and although I haven’t stepped on the scale the trousers are a little more comfortable.
  • I smoked (quit) about 30 years ago and have been dying for a cig ever since. Even dreaming I took up smoking again. Long story short, I heard about vaping about a month ago and bought them at a gas station for my smoker son. I started vaping too and LOVE it. Needless to say, I no longer buy them at the gas station!! I have also been dieting for a year and took off 30 pounds. I haven’t weighed myself in a while but I CAN tell you that vaping keeps me from snacking. btw…I also have asthma and I have no shortness of breath vaping. The best news is my son hasn’t had a cig since vaping either!

Those are certainly the responses I was hoping for.  The only problem now is, why would I want to start vaping if I don’t smoke and have no current urges to smoke?  Well, you can buy the e-liquid with NO nicotine and as far as I know there are no risks of addiction, but at the same time I don’t know that for a fact.  I mean, if I vape only when I have a craving, there is no harm in that, right?  I’m sure a puff or a toot, as I heard someone say on YouTube, a few times a day isn’t going to cause an addiction.  It’s just going to curb the cravings, right?

So this is my question if anyone will respond.  Is it a good or a bad idea for me to start vaping for this very reason?  Do you think it will actually help me lose weight?  Your responses are greatly appreciated.

Vape with Zeus E-Juice for Ego E-Cigarette

I quit smoking in 1996 for many reasons.  I was sick and tired of the gross taste of cigarettes and it was getting way too expensive.  I would never recommend buying cigarettes to anyone, until now.

I have known about e-Cigarettes since they first arrived on the scene.   E-Cigarettes are more acceptable to smoke indoors because you aren’t blowing smoke out of your mouth for others to breathe, it’s all vapor, which is where the term “Vape” comes in.

A friend has introduced me to something that I wasn’t ever expecting to see.  Flavored juice that you vape.  So if you have a Ego e-cigarette, you can buy the juice and pour it directly into the cartridge and you get some awesome flavors instead of the standard gross flavor of a cigarette.

Naturally I wasn’t aware of how it worked so I had to do some research.  I looked at a video of a guy who showed a chest x-ray from 2008 compared to a chest x-ray from 2011 and his lungs were cloudy in 2008, but they were clear in the 2011 after vaping for a couple of years.  So the health benefit is there for those who are concerned about that.  You can also adjust how much nicotine you are getting when you buy Zeus E-Juice.  If you are a heavy smoker, you can get the 18MG or whatever it is that your cigarettes contain, and then every week or so when you place your order for another bottle, just add less nicotine until you aren’t getting any nicotine at all.  Now if that isn’t a great way to kick the habit, I don’t know what is.

If you have never used an e-Cigarette, but are a heavy smoker, what are you paying for cigarettes now?  $55 a carton?  You can buy the Joye E-Cigarette starter kit for like $50-$85 (shop around) which is less than what you would pay for 2 cartons of cigarettes.  The starter kit pays for itself after the first couple of weeks.

When I smoked I was buying 2 or 3 cartons a month, I kid you not, so that is a huge savings.  The Zeus E-juice is only $2.49 for a 5ML bottle and I assume your cartridge uses about 1ML.  I don’t know how many packs 5ML adds up to, but I would bet it’s a few.  You could buy a 30ML bottle for only $8 more which is way less than what you are spending on cigarettes now.

Ok, this is the fun part.  The flavors.  When I first heard about e-cigarettes, I was excited for those who smoked because I heard you got a few flavors like vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.  Oh no my friend, Zeus E-Juice has way more than just those few flavors.  You can get APPLE FREAKIN’ PIE!!!  I kid you not!  They have cappuccino with or without caramel, blueberry muffin, caramel apple, root beer float… the list goes on and on.  Where are you going to buy a brand of cigarettes that comes in root beer float?  No where, that’s where.

Just choose your flavor, choose your nicotine strength and choose your PG/VG mixture.  Speaking of mixture, if you want more flavor, do 100% PG, if you want to ruin your Joye machine, do 100%VG.  It’s probably best to just go in the middle and do 50% which is the default setting in the website when you are placing your order.  I mean, if you want more flavor go for it, it’s your choice.

Want to know the best part of all?  You get rewards for buying Zeus E-Juice.  You get 1 point for every dollar that you spend which you can use to get free E-Liquid.  You also get 5 points for ever review, so you get even more chances at getting free E-Liquid.

All new customers get 15% off their first order AND you get double points just by adding the code “grandopening” at the checkout page. You also get free shipping on orders of $50 or more.  So what are you waiting for?  Go to Zeus E-Juice now.

Why are you still reading this?

Make Your Own Cigarettes

I woke up this morning to the sound of my doorbell.  I stumbled out of bed and went to the door and there was nobody there.  I said “hello?” and the neighbor kid popped his head out and said “oh did I wake you up?”  I said “yes, you did”.  He said “oh well never mind” I said “wait, you woke me up, what do you want?”  He said “I just wondered if you would do something for me but I know you probably won’t want to do it”.

Kid, if you know I won’t want to do it then why are you waking me up?  SIGH!  – by the way, he is 21 lol I call him a kid because he acts like one.

Anyway, he wanted me to go to the store to buy a pack of Newport Cigarettes for him.  Not just the store next door to my house but the store a block away.  I don’t think so.  It ain’t happenin’.  I told him no because I quit smoking in 1996 and I swore that I wouldn’t go running errands for people wanting to buy cigarettes like I did for people when I did smoke because I’m trying not to support that habit.  Yeah I know, douche ex-smoker right?

So I remembered when we first moved to Bakersfield we met this guy named Troy and he rolled his own cigarettes with this little hand-held machine where he placed a cigarette tube with a filter on the end (it looked like a cigarette but it was empty) and he put the tobacco in the machine and he did a slide motion with the machine and pulled the filled cigarette out.

So I went online and did a search for it and found 2 products.  They aren’t cheap.  I didn’t find the hand-held one but these are still good I guess.  There is the PREMIER Excel Cigarette Injector Machine at Amazon for $34.99 or you can buy it used for $20.  Then there is the Top-o-matic Cigarette Making Machine W/handlewhich is a bit more expensive for $79.99 but you can buy it used for $35+.  I’m sure that any cigarette store sells these for less than you can buy them at Amazon, who knows.  I haven’t been to a cigarette store because they opened right after I quit smoking.

But with these machines you can make your own cigarettes for $1 a pack.  That’s pretty good right?  When I quit smoking the generic cigarettes were .99 cents per pack with tax so about $1.07 total.  Hell when I started smoking in 1985 cigarettes were about $1 a pack for the regular brands.  Now cigarettes are like $5-10 per pack so I think that this is a good thing to suggest to my neighbor so he can roll his own for a lot less.

The reviews that I have read say that the cigarettes you buy and the ones you roll taste about the same.  All you do is buy your cigarette tubes with the filter already on.  Those are about $2 for a cartons worth of tubes which adds up to .01 one penny for each tube with a filter on it.  The tubes w/filters are all different.  You can buy full flavor or lights or menthol or menthol lights etc.

Then you buy your tobacco which is about $20 for a can or bag.  I actually don’t know how much they cost.  I went to PipesandCigars.com and found this one particular brand called Drum and it’s about $21.99 for the can.  I don’t know how many cigarettes or packs or cartons that rolls though.  But you can buy them in your local cigarette shop I guess, they will tell you how many packs you can make with each bag or can.

I am certainly not promoting cigarettes here but I can say that the government is screwing people out of their hard earned money by raising these bullshit taxes for cigarettes and I think that people should stop buying the pre-rolled cigarettes and just roll your own.  It’s time to give the power back to the people and let them decide how much they want to pay for a pack of cigarettes.

It takes less than 10 seconds to “inject” your own cigarette with these 2 machines I linked above.  You can make an entire pack of cigarettes in about a minute or 2.  Hell, you can just roll a whole cartons worth and use the box that the empty cigarette tubes came in to store all your cigarettes then go out and buy a tin that looks like a pack of cigarettes or a cigarette holder like they used to use back in the 20’s -50’s (remember I Love Lucy?  They always had those things).

Watch this video I found.  Oh, it’s not me by the way hehe.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LarY6qeopBY

Edit: I found out that the tobacco to make 1 carton of cigarettes is now up to $29.  YIKES!  But that still beats $45 for a carton I guess.

Recession Weight

Will Americans put on “recession pounds”? – Link Broken

According to this article, a study has shown that because of the recession we are in people are going to start buying cheaper foods and not paying the extra amount for fruits and veggies and because cheaper foods are higher in sugar and saturated fat, they will gain weight.

It used to be that the only people who were fat were royalty because they were so rich they could eat all the food they want so being obese was a sign of wealth.  Now, being obese is a sign of poverty.

I’ve basically been poor for the last 21 years lol.  Since I turned 17 and was homeless until now.  When I was a smoker I was always thin but when I quit smoking I gained weight because food took the place of the cigarettes.  I gained a huge appetite since then.  When I go to the grocery store for food I buy whatever is on sale like the boxes of shells and white cheddar or Fettuccine Alfredo or I’ll buy the little mini pizzas that are 10 for $10.  And the banquet TV dinners are almost always 10 for $10.

Since people are so busy working (if they didn’t lose their job) they don’t have time to exercise and they use that as an excuse not to exercise but there are always ways to overcome that like riding your bike to work or if you don’t live that far, walk.  And taking the stairs instead of the elevator and you don’t have to pig out on the vending machine food, you can bring some baby carrots with you for a snack or a banana or an apple.  Those aren’t expensive to buy.  I have an orange tree so my oranges are free.