Tag: torture

My broken arm is on the mend

On By Michel McDonaldIn Daily BlogLeave a comment

cartoon mike healing broken arm

I am very happy to report that my arm is healing and I can finally go back to my normal routine.  I’ve had a great vacation from my chores for the last month, but it’s time to go back to work.

Well, the truth is, I’ve been doing certain chores like laundry and doing light cleaning here and there, it’s dishes that were too difficult to do.  I even mowed the lawn 2 weeks ago with just one arm lol.  I didn’t do it last week or this week because, well, I’m lazy lol.  I did the dishes today with both arms and laundry yesterday with both arms and it did hurt a tiny bit, but it didn’t hurt so much that I had to stop.

It’s funny how you think that you want to not have to do things, but after awhile you start to miss it.  I know that sounds odd, but it’s true.

I am still wearing the sling when I walk the dog or when I’m just fartin’ around the house because it feels uncomfortable to just let it hang, it even hurts if I’m not holding it up, but when I’m just laying in bed or doing dishes or laundry I can take it off.

The part of my arm that broke is still in a bit of pain, but what is causing me the most pain is the middle of my arm because my arm is bent 24/7 and I guess it just needs to stretch after awhile.  You know how when you are in the car for too long and it’s nice to get out and stretch your legs?  Well, it’s basically the same thing.

The E.R. doctor said it would take 6 to 8 weeks to heal and it’s been 4 1/2 weeks and I can tell that it won’t take a full 8 weeks.  I’m sure I still have another couple of weeks of wearing the sling, then I can probably take it off for good.  Although I can’t predict the future, but I’m sure I’ll be good soon.

I’ve never broken a bone in my body in my whole life so I’ve never experienced this and even though it was torture for me, I’m glad it happened because I finally got to know what it was like.  I know that sounds silly or strange, but it just seems like something I should have experienced at least once in my life.  I don’t have a bucket list, but I think if I did, breaking a bone would have been on it.  That’s not to say I want to experience it again lol.  I can’t imagine ever going through that again so I’m going to have to be really careful from now on.

Anyway, I can’t wait for my arm to heal completely so I can go back to normal, whatever normal is.

“My secrets video – It Gets Better” by Savealifeful on YouTube

On By Michel McDonaldIn It Gets Better1 Comment

Gay bashing/bullying is not a new fad, it has been happening for decades.  It is a very sad thing and I feel sorry for every gay person who went through it.  Ever since children started committing suicide because they couldn’t take the bullying anymore, people have been making “It Gets Better” videos and posting them on YouTube.  I love to watch them because I love to see the positive message at the end.  These videos are meant to help children change their minds about suicide, but it also helps us adults who after all those years are still contemplating it.

Take a look at this one.  His YouTube channel is called savealifeful and he brought me to tears with his story.  When he says that the bullies taped him to a pole and then taped his hair, tears flooded my eyes, actually I’m starting to tear up again just thinking about the torture he went through.  Take a look at his story.  Perhaps he will inspire many others out there who are depressed and wanting to make that final decision.  Maybe his video can save a life.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L5pIreg-7c

My Weight

On By Michel McDonaldIn Diet, HealthLeave a comment

Wow!  I just weighed myself and it’s not good.  Of course most people would just not talk about it, they would pretend that it doesn’t matter or the problem doesn’t exist but I know the problem exists.  I was doing Spark People a year ago (I started on October 1st 2007) but something happened in my life and I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I gave up dieting altogether even though I had lost over 20lbs.  I was so proud of myself and then I just quit.

I was eating the food but not exercising and I was in a plateau for over a month and just couldn’t take the torture of having to suffer eating such small portions and so many veggies.  Although it wasn’t all that bad, the veggie portions were pretty big but it was still torture to eat good and not lose a single lb.  But I wasn’t exercising either so that’s where I made a huge mistake.  I didn’t step it up and help myself along the long road of losing weight.

My highest weight that I’ve ever been was 245 and I weighed myself just before I started this post and I was 243.  I’m just 2lbs from being right back to where I was.  I need this Dell DJ battery to come soon and the pump and bag.  I need them to come so I have motivation to ride my bike to get exercise.  I need the pump because it has a gauge built-in so I can see if I’m pumping the correct amount or not.  Right now they don’t feel fully pumped but I’m afraid to put too much air in because it will pop if I do.  If it doesn’t have enough it may pop from my weight.  The frame bag is just a bonus to keep all the tools with me so I don’t have to carry them.

The Dell DJ battery is a crucial part of this whole journey.  I refuse to ride the bike in silence.  It will be too boring and I will not want to keep doing it day after day if I’m bored doing it.  Of course I probably won’t have to do it day after day.

As of right now my leg muscles are still not ready for a 2 hour bike ride.  It is ready for a 5 minute bike ride before I can’t walk anymore.  What I will have to do is just ride for as long as I can going towards beach park where the bike trail is and when I get too sore then just stop, rest and head back home.  Just keep doing that every day or every other day or whatever I need.  I can’t push my muscles too far because the more sore my legs are the less likely I will want to do it.  But I heard from a trainer that if your legs are sore, so what, keep doing it.  You don’t want the muscles to heal fully, you want them to be sore because they won’t get used to it unless you keep doing it.  Yeah they will be sore for a few days but once they get used to it they wont be painful.  It will become old hat.

Let’s just hope that these items come to me soon, within a week at least.  I don’t know how much more of this fat I can take.  I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore.  I have BDD so bad from this that I don’t even want to leave the house because people are staring at me and judging me every day.  I just want to be back to where I was when I was thin.  Nobody even noticed me because I blended in with all the other skinny people.  Fat people don’t blend in too well especially when their t-shirts are stretched out in the stomach area. Which reminds me, if this does work, if I lose a massive amount of weight by riding my bike, I’m gonna need a wardrobe change hehe.