Chronic Insomnia

On March 14, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Health1 Comment

I don’t know why, but I have suffered from chronic insomnia for at least 21 years. When I was in the hospital way back in 1994 with Pneumocystis pneumonia, I wasn’t taking any HIV medications. The doctor’s told me that I didn’t need to take any medication, so I didn’t take any until I was in the hospital. After I got out of the hospital, I started going to a HIV clinic in downtown Los Angeles. The medication was fine, but I started noticing that I couldn’t sleep very well at night, so when I was at one of my appointments, the doctor asked if I was having trouble sleeping and asked if I wanted sleeping pills, so I said yes.

The doctor gave me a medicine called Trazodone which I took for several years until one morning I woke up with an erection, which is usually common with men, but the erection would not go away. After several hours I decided it was time to visit the emergency room, and they had to inject something into my ass to make the erection go away. It was so embarrassing having to go to the emergency room, and the doctors snickering and gathering around me to look at my erection added to the embarrassment. I told my doctor about it and he told me to stop taking it, but didn’t give me a new prescription, and I was having trouble sleeping again, so I took it once more and it happened again and I had to go back to the emergency room. After that I tossed them in the trash.

After Trazodone, the doctor gave me Ambien which was a miracle for a very long time, but then gradually it stopped working for me. I was on Ambien for too many years, and I think my body built up a tolerance, so I would take it and it would be like 3am and I was still awake. I started eating when I took it, like a banana or toast or something, and that worked for a long time, but eventually that stopped working as well. Last year my insurance stopped paying for Ambien, so the pharmacy didn’t include it with the rest of my medication without any explanation. I assumed the new doctor didn’t want me to take it, but I found out it was the insurance company.

Last month I told the new doctor about my insomnia and the first thing he suggested was Trazodone, which I had to tell him that that medication is not good for me. He gave me Amitriptyline which he said was Elavil. My partner used to take Elavil and that stuff was potent. I would take it, but it would leave me groggy in the morning. He only gave me 25mg and they were tiny green pills as opposed to the big red pills that my partner used to get, but the Elavil 25mg tabs didn’t do a damn thing for me. I took that all month long and I was still awake until 3, 4 or 5am.

We just went to the doctor again yesterday and he gave me something else called Hydroxyzine. I told him about the depression and the anxiety caused from the flashbacks of my childhood and he said this should help out with my PTSD, but as far as it being a sleeping pill, it doesn’t work. It is a antihistamine, so that’s why he gave it to me. I’m supposed to take this one every 6 hours, which is odd, but whatever. I took it last night and was up until 5am and I ended up drinking some Zzzquil to help me get to sleep. I use that out of desperation.

Today I’ve slept the entire day away. I don’t know if it was because of the Zzzquil or if it was that combined with the new medicine, but I just did not want to wake up. I woke up several times, got on the computer, took the dog out, but then went back to bed. As soon as I finish writing, reading and editing this, I’m thinking I’m just going to go back to bed. I hope I can sleep until morning.

I just hope that I can find something that will help me sleep because I absolutely hate staying awake so late and waking up around noon or 2pm. Although, I think in the summer it might be to my advantage because I can just sleep the heat of the day away.

Minecraft Pyramid

On March 7, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Games, Minecraft, PS42 Comments

I recently blogged about finding my old home in Minecraft. Well, near that old home is a NPC village which is right next to a desert. I wanted to build something that you would normally see in a desert, but wasn’t quite sure what to build. I heard someone say something about Egypt on TV, so that brought my mind to Pyramids, so that’s what I started to build.

This pyramid has taken at least more than a week to build. There was a sand mountain in the spot where I built my pyramid that I basically had to demolish while I was building the pyramid around it. The reason I chose this location was because it was right next to the NPC village, and I could use the material from the mountain to build the pyramid. First you have to turn 4 blocks of sand into 1 block of sandstone. To make the stairs you need 6 blocks of sandstone just to make 4 stairs. There is a specific block that I like to use called Chiseled sandstone that has a Minecraft logo on it. I use that for the floors and for the middle of the walls throughout the pyramid. I use the chiseled sandstone for the floors because the regular sandstone looks dirty on the bottom, and you don’t want a dirty ceiling. The chiseled sandstone is clean on the top and bottom.

I found a video on YouTube of a person who was showing off a game generated pyramid (from a mod) where it has mazes and a treasure room at the top, so that gives me an idea of what to put inside the pyramid. At first I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it, because I’m not that creative, but I found a website that generates random labyrinth’s, so I will use that as a guide for each floor. The labyrinth’s have long hallways and rooms and dead ends. It’s similar to a maze, but with rooms.

Here is just an example of how the labyrinth will look. I think it will be very neat to build. It would be neat if people could actually come visit my pyramid and walk through my labyrinth. I’m sure it will take me another month just to gather the material (mining sand and sandstone) to build the labyrinth on all 6 floors. There will be 7 floors, but the very top floor will most likely be a treasure room since it’s going to be very small. Of course, that requires treasure, of which I am very limited lol. I guess I could add some emeralds, gold and iron ingots and some food. I don’t really have anyone who will visit my world who would benefit from it.

Well, hopefully it won’t take me too much longer to finish this. This is the biggest building project I’ve worked on so far. I’ve actually gotten kind of bored with it because it’s such a huge job. I find myself falling asleep while my fingers are pressing the button to mine the sand and end up going deeper than I wanted.

I will post a video when I am finished with the labyrinth, but in the meantime, here is a video I made a couple of days ago before I finished the outside of the pyramid.

Lego Games

On February 24, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Games, PS4, PSPLeave a comment

When I was a child, I LOVED playing with Lego’s. I mean, sure I loved playing with a lot of my toys like Light Bright and my Construction Set, but Lego’s were what I really had fun with. I would literally be in my bedroom playing with them for hours. You know when you don’t hear a child, something’s up, they are doing something bad, but I wasn’t because I was building houses or robots or whatever.

I don’t recall when it happened, but my mother took away some of my toys to make room for newer, more mature toys, and the Lego bricks all disappeared. Sad but true .

I have loved video games since I was 12. When I was 37 and bought my PSP, I found out they had Lego games. I was sure they were too juvenile for my age, then again I was a grown ass man age 37 playing video games, so I’m pretty sure I was the juvenile one lol. I actually loved it more than words can say. That first game by the way was Lego Star Wars II. I bought more as they released them.

This Christmas I got a PlayStation 4 and naturally I wanted to buy some Lego games. I was a bit disappointed that they were $60 though. Lego The Hobbit was $50, and I had $10 credit with my new PlayStation and I had $20 in PayPal, so all I needed was $20 which came out of my bank account. I just had to buy it. Lego Marvel Super Heroes was only $23.89 on Amazon and The Lego Movie Videogame was only $24 during a recent flash sale in the PlayStation store.

There is a huge difference in the games design from the PSP and the PS4 Lego games. For example, in the PSP Lego games, you find yourself in a specific building, or in the Star Wars case a ship and the Harry Potter games you are at the school. The PS4 Lego games are different in the sense that when you finish your level, you are back on the trail onto the next spot. I’ve played the Lego Hobbit game all the way to the end where you see the credits, as if it were the ending to a movie, but I’m only 23% into the game. I’ve finished story mode, I just haven’t gotten to any of the free play modes. I am not quite sure how to go into free play though. I did figure out how to get back to Hobbiton since they have a spot where you can fly with an eagle to wherever it is on the map that you want to go, but I still don’t know how to get to the free play mode. I have only finished the first level in the other two Lego games.

There are more Lego games I want to buy, like Lego Batman, but I will wait for that to either drop in price or be on flash sale. Lego Jurassic Park is coming this summer, and that will also be $60, so I will most likely have to wait for that to be on flash sale or $20 – $25 on Amazon.

I really love the Lego games, unfortunately I can’t afford to pay $60 for a game that I may or may not play and/or finish. I say that because I still haven’t finished any of my PSP Lego games. I’m at 98% with the first Lego Star Wars game, and around 95-98% with the first Lego Indiana Jones game. I haven’t finished them because it’s hard lol. Most of the other ones aren’t even close to 60% because I may have gotten bored with them or because I was more interested in something else.

Lego Video games are cool, but I really wanted some actual Lego bricks, so I bought this little Minecraft Lego set. It’s very small and it sits on top of my PlayStation 4 on my desk. I really like how it looks and I would love to buy more sets, the only issue is that they cost a lot of money. This set was only $20 and I was very shocked at how expensive it was, but when I saw how expensive the other sets were, I was like screw that noise, I don’t want them THAT bad lol. I saw many Lego Star Wars sets for $10 each, and those would be cool to buy, except where do I have room for them? No where, that’s where. My bedroom is already bordering on hoarding. I think the Lego video games are the best use of space for me lol.

Lego’s are awesome.

Update: I finally figured out the PS4 Lego Games. You have to travel via eagle, which I figured that out already, but then you have to go on the map and click on the white bricks and the doors and the people and anything else that is on the map, then have it lead you to that spot. Once you get the white bricks, they disappear from the map. Once you get to a person and buy that person, I know that sounds funny, then that person disappears from the map. Once you get to a door and go into freeplay mode, well, that door doesn’t disappear because you have to have many chances to get in there, even if you’ve gotten everything out of there in story and freeplay mode. I went back to the very first thing in the story, but in freeplay mode and I missed something, so I have to go back. I did manage to get about 4 white bricks while I was back in Hobbiton. When I finished that freeplay, they teleported me back to the end of the game at the mountain where you find Smaug. It just sucks they didn’t add the 3rd movie to the game.

I’m sure it will take me a long time to finish the game. It took me about 6 months to get where I am in the Lego Star Wars II game on my PSP. That’s what I love about these games, they keep you playing for a long time, unlike some games that are so easy that you end up finishing them in no time.

Minecraft PlayStation 4 Maps

On February 22, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Games, Minecraft, PS4Leave a comment

I got my PlayStation 4 in December, the week before Christmas. Why a week before? We like to exchange gifts earlier than most “normal” people because, well, that’s just how we roll lol. Actually, my partner decided on a whim that he would take me to go buy it and he didn’t know what I wanted, so he told me he was getting it. After a few “Oh no we can’t afford it” he said shut up, you’re getting it lol.

Ok, so back to the subject at hand. I got Minecraft and played for maybe a few weeks on this little beach. I didn’t know I could even play the game in peaceful mode, and I died so many times trying to escape the skeletons with their damn bows and arrows. I even got blown up by creepers every now and then. I worked so hard to build the house that I built with what little experience I had with the game, and I think I did pretty good. I felt like exploring, so I would leave my home with my bed and I would sleep when the sun went down. I would explore, return home, explore, return home etc. You get the idea. I saw something so neat that I had to explore it, and I went a bit too far and got turned around and couldn’t find home. I wandered around in a complete panic for literally a couple of hours trying to find it, but never found it, so I decided to find a new spot that I liked and built a new home.

Over the last couple of months I went exploring knowing I could find my way back home with maps, but I never did find my home. I’ve even gone as far as going into creative mode to fly around looking for my original home, but that didn’t work. Finally tonight I thought, let’s try it again, so I did, and I finally found it. Check out the picture below which is a close up of the giant map at the top. The star on the top is where I live now, and the bottom star is where my original home. It’s funny because they are so close to each other too. That white part at the bottom is where I got turned around. It was the first snow I saw and it really messed me up lol.

So now that I have finally found my original home, I can relax. I mean, I was relaxed before. I honestly don’t care about the house or any of the crap in the chests and in the house, it’s just the idea that I lost something that I worked so hard to build that I couldn’t find, and it bothered me to no end. I have it back now and I can use it to my advantage. I don’t know how, but I will think of something lol. For one there is a NPC village near that house in the sandy area at the bottom left of the map. That’s actually where I saw the giant carved out mountain on the bottom of the map which lead me to the snow that got me lost.

Speaking of NPC village… during my mapping, I found many NPC villages and pyramids. I have not yet marked them on the maps, but perhaps I shall go back into creative mode so I can fly to those locations and then add some icons to the map lol. I still have the bottom 2 rows to map out, so perhaps I will do that in time.

Anyway, so I am overly excited and thanks for reading.

Update: I actually think I have an idea for how I will “take advantage” of the situation of the old house. I used to play a PC game called EverQuest, and that game had a forest called Kelethin in the Greater Faydark. Kelethin is a city in the trees, and that old house has a jungle, so perhaps I will start building platforms in the trees that already stand, and add houses to them. Not that it will make any difference to anyone since I’m the only one playing, but it would be nice to remake something to remind me of the good old days in EverQuest.

Minecraft Pocket Edition

On February 19, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Games, NookLeave a comment

What is the easiest way to spot an addiction? When you have Minecraft on your PlayStation 4, then you also buy Minecraft for your tablet/cell phone. Yeah… I have an addiction. I have it bad.

Minecraft Pocket Edition was $6.99 on Google Play, but I actually got it for free. Let me explain that. I have an app on my tablet called Google Opinion Rewards and they send me a survey every couple or few days that may pay .10 cents or $1 and change. The surveys are mostly 1 question, but occasionally they will have 3 or 4 questions and I may get more or less. I’ve been using this app since November and I’ve earned enough that I was able to buy Minecraft PE.

Today I decided that I would go to YouTube and check out some videos. I have to be honest, I only watched 1 video, and it was enough to sell me on the idea. The guy was talking about how easy it was to play on his Apple iPad Mini. He kept having issues where the game was running out of memory, and he couldn’t believe it because he had an iPad Mini. You’d think those would have more memory to play a simple game. Then again, it was from June 2014, so the game was probably buggy.

So I bought the game with my Google Opinion Rewards and I installed it on my Nook HD+ because it has more space and it’s faster than my Android cell phone. The game is very awesome and it does take a few minutes to really get the hang of since I’m so used to the PlayStation 4 controller, and not at all familiar with using 2 fingers (left thumb and right index) to control my character. I’m getting the hang of it.

The first thing I noticed was sunflowers. My PS4 version doesn’t have sunflowers! I would love sunflowers lol. It also has some other materials that my game doesn’t have, such as Diorite, Andesite, Poppy, Blue Orchid, Allium, Azure bluet, Tulip, Oxeye Daisy, Lilac, Rose Bush, Peony and one thing I noticed in the crafting table was Stonecutter. I’m not sure what the Diorite or Andesite is, but it sure would be nice if I did lol. I cheated, I had to look on the Minecraft Pocket Edition wikipedia page to get those names because I forgot them and their spelling. I saw the poppy, tulip and sunflower, but not the rest of the flowers I listed. I only saw them in the wiki page. I mentioned them because again, I’ve never seen those in the PS4 version.

I created a world and used an app called Minebot to mine 100 blocks down. Little did I know he would leave all of the good stuff free floating in the air in their original space. How the hell am I going to get all of that stuff? I didn’t think of that, so I’m not going to use that app anymore. I deleted that world because when I play the game, I want it to be completely honest. I want to earn every iron ore, gold, diamond, and whatever else I would normally have to mine for months to get. It’s less fun if I already have everything available to me. It means more to me if I have to work hard for my rewards. That’s why I don’t like to play in creative mode. What’s the point if I start off with a mansion with all the diamonds I could ever ask for? It ruins the fun.

I will most likely not play this game that often and save all the fun for when I’m either on the stationary bike or bored in a waiting room. Who am I kidding? I’ll probably be on this just as much if not more than I am on the PS4. I am that addicted lol.

This game doesn’t seem to have the option to share video and/or pictures on YouTube, Facebook or Twitter, so I guess if I really want to take a screenshot, I’ll have to do it the old fashioned way and manually share it through social media. I probably won’t do that too often, but never saw never right?

PlayStation 4 Games and Accessories

On February 15, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Games, PS4Leave a comment

I’ve only had my PlayStation 4 since the week before Christmas, but I already have a pretty amazing selection of games to choose from. A lot of those games were free, but some were bought during a flash sale, so I can’t say this has cost me a fortune.

Apotheon, First Light, Injustice, The Swapper and Transistor were all free thanks to the PlayStation Plus membership. They give away free games every month,. DC Universe is free and it is free to play. Flower, Lego The Hobbit, Lego Marvel’s Super Heroes and Lego Movie videogame, Terraria, The Walking Dead 1 and 2 were all from sales and Little Big Planet 3 was from a flash sale. It’s normally $60, but I bought it for $24. Destiny came for free with my new PS4.

I’ve had a lot of fun with my PlayStation 4 since I got it. In fact, it’s very rare for me to have it turned off, unless I’m watching my regular shows, and even then sometimes I just let the DVR record them because I’m too addicted to a game. I spent 2 hours watching the DVR today, only because I knew I had to catch up because the next episode of that particular show is coming soon lol.

Earlier this week I got the keyboard that mounts to my game controller and that has been very awesome to have. I have it on there permanently because it just makes sense to. I was afraid that it would be too bulky for me to play games with, but it doesn’t interfere at all. I tried using it while it was not attached, and it does work, but I need it to be attached to the game controller because I use those buttons in addition to the keyboard buttons, so it makes little sense to use them separately. It does look a bit strange though, but you get used to it after awhile I’m sure.

I also got my new PlayStation 4 camera today. That’s pretty neat. It sits on top of my TV. I bought it specifically for exercising. I plan on buying the dance games because I know that dancing is cardio exercise, and I need all the cardio exercise that I can get. Although, those games are way too expensive to buy in the PlayStation store directly, so I will buy them on the discs on Amazon, eventually lol. I know they are at least half the price on Amazon. I refuse to spend $60 on a game. The camera is $60 at Target, but I only paid $40 on Amazon and got free shipping.

So my collection of games and accessories is getting big considering I didn’t spend too much money. I’m sure it will just continue to grow over time. Keep an eye on new games that I will be adding to my PlayStation 4 page on my website. PlayStation Plus gives us free games every month on the first Tuesday. They also have great flash sales, so perhaps the next $60 game I buy will end up being $24 again just like Little Big Planet 3. I’m also looking forward to EverQuest Next and King’s Quest this year.

If you are a PlayStation gamer, please find me and friend me. I’m Xanapus.

PlayStation 4 Bluetooth Keyboard

On February 12, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Games, PS4Leave a comment

Have you ever had to type using a analog stick? Probably not, well, I can tell you right now that it can take a long time to type something with a PlayStation 4 game controller. They do have suggestions at the top of the screen, so if I hit the t, possible matches will come up like the, them, those, etc. It may remember some words I have used in the past, or the first suggestion at the top just may be the thing I was going to say. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, and I usually end up having to type it out one letter at a time. Frustrating when you are in a rush.

I went to Amazon looking for a bluetooth keyboard for a PS4 system, and lo and behold I found this PS4 keyboard for $13 and change with $4 shipping. Not bad eh? It paired up quickly and snaps right on the controller and it doesn’t hinder game play at all.

A few days ago I was playing Destiny, and a couple of kids who were also playing in the same area that I was invited me to join their group. They both had microphones, but I didn’t, so my only option was to message the one who invited me with text to tell him “Sorry no mic.” What actually came out was Sl. I was trying to rush and accidentally made a mistake and accidentally sent it to him. Ugh! I tried cancelling it, but I knew it went to him because he said “What does Sl mean? He said Sl to me.” It literally took me another 5 minutes or so until I was able to send a new message telling him that I meant to say no mic.

There are times when I want to share a screenshot or a video on Facebook or YouTube and I have to type words to describe the image or video and it can take a lot of time. Today when I got the new keyboard, I was able to share an image and type a sentence out in just a few seconds. Viola! Easy!

I don’t know if I can use this keyboard off the PS4 controller, but I’m sure I can since it uses bluetooth to connect with my PS4. I won’t need to have this permanently attached to my game controller, but it doesn’t hurt to keep it on. It also shuts off after a few minutes of inactivity.

This was a pretty good investment, and I am sure it will save me a ton of time and embarrassment.

Destiny on PS4

On February 6, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Games, PS4Leave a comment

I’ve always hated first person shooter games, mainly because I didn’t like the thought that I would be murdering people. I know, it’s just a game, they aren’t real people and no one is actually getting hurt, but it has just always turned me off. It would be one thing if I am killing goblins, orcs, trolls, ogres or anything else that is not real, but humans, that’s just weird to me.

When I got my PS4 for Christmas, I had the choice of 4 games. Destiny, NBA 2K15, Far Cry 4 or Little Big Planet 3. I didn’t want Destiny or Far Cry 4 because those were shooter games. I didn’t want NBA 2K15 because I’m not big on sports. I wanted to choose Little Big Planet 3, but I have the first LBP on my PSP and I honestly didn’t think it would be any better than the version I already have, which I am stuck on, and that fact is what made me decide to not choose LBP. I decided I would watch YouTube gameplay videos for Destiny and Far Cry 3. I also asked some Gaymers on Facebook and most of them told me Destiny. It was ultimately my decision, but I chose Destiny because I loved that it’s science fiction and that I would be flying around in space. It also helped that the bad guys are evil aliens instead of humans.

I tried playing it, but I became too addicted to Minecraft. When that addiction started to subside, I decided to go back to Destiny, and now look at me, I’m level 23. I’m actually level 20, but the light from my new level 20 gear brought me up to level 23. I guess there is a level cap at 20, but your light can take you to level 32 thanks to the Dark Below expansion, which I paid $20 extra for.

So far I’ve been to the Cosmodrome in Russia, which seems to be the only place on Earth you can go to, I’ve been to the Moon and to Venus. I spent a lot of my time doing missions in the Cosmodrome rather than doing story because I kept dying in story at my lower level, so I waited until I had better gear and weapons.

I have not gone into the PVP areas because I don’t do well when I have to play with others, especially if I have to chat with people. The last bad experience I had with that was when I was playing Lord of the Rings Online, and this experience actually turned me off playing with other people. I was doing a group raid on this one place and the quest involved lighting these pillars on fire, so I said “Flame on?” meaning should we light the fires? Someone said something like I don’t do that faggot shit or something to that effect, and it really pissed me off. That was in text too. If I have to have my headphones on with a mic and have to deal with people with my voice, I don’t know how much I may overreact and end up giving myself such a horrible reputation with other players. You never know if they may spread rumors about me in the message boards or whatever. I wouldn’t mind joining a clan, which is like a guild, if that clan has gay people or is a gay clan. At least I know they aren’t going to do that to me.

Well, this game has turned out to be a lot of fun, and I’m glad I chose it.

Noom Week 1 Weigh In

On February 1, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Diet, Doctor, Exercise, Health, Noom, WeightLeave a comment

Today was my first weigh in for week 1. I restarted my weight loss program with Noom less than a week ago, but for some reason, Noom wants me to weigh in twice a week and today was the first weigh in. I started out at 238 and today I was 234.6. I was actually 240 before I began my weight loss program, but I had already dropped 2lbs by the time I started, but I can’t count that. So as it stands I have lost 3.4lbs.

That’s good enough as far as I am concerned. You are only supposed to lose 2lbs a week, so I’m happy with 3.4lbs. I have been dieting and exercising, except yesterday I didn’t because I follow a routine now. I eat lunch at 12, then wait about half an hour before getting on the bicycle, then I try to be finished by 1:45 so I can get in the shower so I can watch tv with my partner. He likes to watch TV with me from 2pm to 5pm because that gives us time together. If we don’t, then we never see each other because of my video game addiction lol. So there is a reason for a routine.

My nutritionist wants me to follow a specific diet where my plate has 1/4 protein, 1/4 starch and 1/2 vegetables. Here are the papers she gave me which shows the plate planner, and breakfast, lunch and dinner.

They don’t seem to be too bad. They are actually what SparkPeople wanted me to do, but the thing is, sometimes I don’t want to eat a specific thing. I usually only eat a Weight Watchers frozen dinner which is green in the Noom app. Hey, I lost 70lbs with the weight watchers frozen dinners, so how can I go wrong?

I will do my best to eat a healthy diet, but I can’t promise I will be able to fill a plate since I usually just eat my food from a bowl. If I eat pasta or rice and meat and vegetables, I usually mix the entire amount and eat it in a bowl. I find it better to combine everything because it puts sauce on the veggies so I don’t have to use margarine or butter. Oh and I asked her about that, and she told me to use lemon in place of butter. I haven’t tried that yet, but I have a feeling it isn’t going to be the same thing lol.

Well, I can’t promise I will eat a 3 or 4 course meal, but I will promise to do the best that I can with what I can actually afford on my disability checks. So far the best option for me is 1 weight watchers frozen dinner for $2 at Food Maxx. It fills me up and it isn’t expensive.

I don’t know if I will continue to update my blog every week like I did 2 years ago.

Losing Weight with Noom and SparkPeople

On January 31, 2015 By Michel McDonaldIn Daily BlogLeave a comment

When I quit smoking in 1996, I made a big move to live healthy, but I traded one bad habit with another. Most people are afraid to quit smoking because they think they will gain weight. Well, that is a fair concern because it does happen. Cigarettes are an appetite suppressant, so most people who smoke don’t tend to overeat.

Smoking also inhibits your taste buds, so I’ve heard, and I do know this to be true because when I smoked, food didn’t taste as awesome to me until after I quit smoking, which in itself is the very reason I gained 50lbs in the first 2 or 3 months after I quit smoking. I discovered all these tastes that I had tasted before, but never could appreciate because my taste buds weren’t as sensitive as they were after I quit.

That was a very long time ago, almost 20 years in fact. So what have I been doing over those 19 years? Eating… a lot! I was 150lbs when I quit smoking, and when I reached 200lbs, I vowed I would not go over that because I didn’t want to be fat. Well, it wasn’t easy, and I kept slipping over the line and tried to go on a diet to get back under 200lbs. Occasionally I would go way over and would end up 210+ and would vow not to go over that, but then I found myself 220, then 230, then 240 and so on.

In January 2013 I was 262lbs and very unhappy with how fat my body was and especially how fat my face was and the fact that I was missing a neck. I was not only just overweight, but I had type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I was fortunate to lose 70lbs with Noom with diet alone, but by mid 2013, the weight stopped coming off. I eventually got frustrated with my plateau and started eating bad foods again and gradually from around August or September 2013 to today, I have gained 50lbs. Yikes! That’s almost all of the weight that I had worked so hard to lose.

I went to the nutritionist this week and was told that my triglycerides are high and that the reason the doctor gave me Lisinopril is because I have high blood pressure because of the fat. She told me I have to go on a diet again because I need to drop some weight. I have wanted to go back on my diet, in fact I’ve been trying to go back on my diet, but a certain someone won’t let me because he keeps buying me burgers and fries, but with this news, he has agreed to stop doing that to help me rather than enable my food addiction. I am not trying to place the blame on anyone other than myself, because I alone control my eating habits. I can say no to the bad foods, it just so happens that I have an addiction to said bad foods and find it hard to say no.

So here I am 2 years later going on another diet. I have promised the nutritionist a printout of my data from SparkPeople from using The Spark and I will bring my Nook HD+ tablet to the appointment next month so she can see that I’ve been eating healthy and she can see my exercise and steps and the graphs from losing weight.

My diet is already working because I’ve already lost 3lbs since Wednesday when I started. It’s only Saturday, so that is a very small amount of time to have lost 3lbs. I don’t want to lose too much weight too fast, but at the same time I hope it burns off me very fast.

When I bought my bicycle trainer last year, it was to help me lose weight, but I stopped using it because I became lazy, well, I started using it again because I want to succeed in my weight loss. Diets tend to work better when you exercise and eat healthy at the same time. You can’t expect to lose weight if you don’t exercise, or if you exercise and eat crap. Although, I did lose 70lbs in 2013 with diet alone, but I would just prefer to lose weight from both diet and exercise.

The journey begins again, so I will have to take new before and after shots. I already have a great before picture that was taken of me this month with Shane Bitney Crone, so I’ll just take an after picture when I reach my goal weight.

Here are my before and after pictures from 2013. Isn’t it funny how all this works? I was 262lbs in the picture of me with the suspenders, and I was 192lbs in the picture of me at the beach. I can’t believe what a difference that was.

Here is a picture that was taken of me earlier this month with Shane Bitney Crone at the Bakersfield PFLAG meeting along with a friend. I don’t think my face looks the same as it did in January 2013, I think it is still around the same as the beach picture, or somewhere near there.

My diet has just begun again, and I’ve only set the Noom app program to help me get back down to 190lbs, but I would hope to drop more than that. In fact, I am hoping to at least go down to 170lbs. The problem for me is that I need to eat healthy, and continue to eat healthy all the time, not just when I’m trying to lose weight. I need to BE healthy all the time because I can’t keep doing this yo-yo diet crap. I need to lose weight and keep the weight off. And this isn’t for vanity, it’s for my health. So wish me luck!

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