New President

I have lived for 50 years, and in those 50 years we’ve had 9 Presidents When I was born it was Richard Nixon, then Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama and then Donald Trump.

In those 50 years I’ve never experienced such a divisive President of the United States. I never heard of any presidents calling people names and talking dirty about women or telling someone in his audience to beat someone up and he would pay for their legal council. Well, until Donald Trump came to be President.

These past 4 years have been rough on me because I have lived through 50 years of bullying from my family, school, jobs and just the rando ass hat homophobe calling me fag or this one guy called me Big Gay Al. Hearing the constant attack on citizens was triggering for me and caused me to have so much anxiety, that I quite literally thought about suicide on many occasions because I just didn’t think it was ever going to end. I don’t have to listen to it, but it’s always there on TV and on social media.

It’s. Always. There.

No one can know how horrifying it is to have to listen to all the bullies who have ever attacked you in your entire life all rolled up into one guy who is leading our country, unless they have been where I have been. And all those people who simply ignored his hatred because “He speaks his mind” and “He didn’t really mean what he said” are people who obviously never experienced the pain that I have experienced, and if they did, well, bless your heart.

Joe Biden’s victory speech was so nice to hear because he wasn’t attacking anyone. If Trump were giving his victory speech, he would be attacking Joe Biden and the crowd would be chanting “LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!” It’s so odd hearing someone who is going to be our president not calling someone else nasty names. What’s more odd is that it’s suddenly an odd feeling. That’s not normal. I feel like we all finally got out of a toxic relationship and we can all breath a sigh of relief that our new relationship isn’t with an asshole.

I don’t care if you are a Republican or a Democrat, if the president is attacking citizens in his speeches, then he is not being presidential. Neither Bush’s ever constantly attacked any democrats in their speeches that I can remember, neither did Ronald Reagan. There was no anxiety from having to hear them speak because they spoke presidentially. So why is it that Donald Trump feels it ok to speak horribly about everyone who isn’t him in every speech? During his campaigning, all he did was attack democrats. That was his campaign? And people voted for that?

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are a life saver, for me anyway. I am just so happy that we will have a president who will be speaking like a President and he is someone I will proudly call my President. Let’s hope for a boring 4 years with a no bully President.

Keep Your Chin Up Jonah

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg

This was shared with me on Facebook today and I couldn’t help but cry throughout the whole video.  This kid named Jonah who just started the 8th grade this year has been bullied since the 1st grade is showing that although he is terrified of being bullied, he has a million reasons to not kill himself.

He talks about cutting himself and even shows where his scars are, you can’t really see them but I’ll take his word for it.  I think that was when he started to cry which was what set me off and I started bawling.

Dear Jonah if you are reading this, I know what you are going through because I went through something very similar.  I know how tough life is and I’m sure you keep hearing “It Gets Better” but it really does.  You have to hold your chin up and just try to get by day-to-day.

Let me tell you something about me.  I didn’t actually start to get bullied until junior high school and the only reason it took that long was because we moved around so much that nobody really got to know me to start bullying me until the 7th grade.

I was abused by my step-dad mentally and physically since I was a baby so I know what it’s like to be bullied on a daily basis.  When the kids started bullying me was when I tried to end my life because I just couldn’t take being bullied at school and at home.  I attempted suicide almost every night.  I almost killed myself when I was 13 years old by choking myself.  I would choke myself until I became unconscious but then I’d wake up in the morning.  I finally gave up after weeks of killing myself every night because it wasn’t working.

It isn’t worth dying over because even though you are still so young, you will have something to offer the world and I know you will succeed because I believe in you.  You do have a million things to live for and I applaud you for making this video to hopefully open people’s eyes to what you are going through.  Maybe you will write a book some day and when you do I hope you share it with me.

Speaking of which, I wrote my own book and I would like to give it to you for free when it is published.  It is a bit depressing and you have enough to worry about but perhaps it might provide some inspiration.

I believe in Karma and I know that those bullies will get what is coming to them when they are older.  Believe me, they will be fat, bald and in the middle of their third divorce while paying $1000-$5000 a month in child support.

Stay positive and keep being you. *hug*