DOMA Unconstitutional and the Repeal of Prop 8

no-doma

Today is a glorious day for LGBT Americans. The Supreme Court of the United States ruled the Defense of marriage act to be unconstitutional. That means that the federal government will recognize the marriage of all Americans, not only heterosexual marriages.

This is a huge step for humanity in my opinion. Although not everyone will agree with me because they believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. Love is love, period. It is none of anyone’s business who loves whom. Period, end of debate. It’s pretty arrogant for anyone to say that my 19 year relationship is less important than Kim Kardashian’s 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries.

We in California will not be able to get married for probably another month, if that, but I do believe that this will boost our bad economy since people will be buying wedding gifts for their friends who will finally be able to get married. So stock up on toasters and blenders while they are still on store shelves.

#MarriageEquality #LoveIsLove #Prop8 #DOMA #DecisionDay

gay toasterI am mentioned in this article from Examiner.com – Central California gay community celebrates DOMA decision by Greg Fields

Advertisements

Everyone Needs To Take A Chill Pill

chill pill

I seriously don’t know what is up with people these days.  President Obama gets reelected, and all of a sudden people start freaking out and he hasn’t even done anything yet.  Seriously, people need to calm the “F” down and take a chill pill because the world is watching, and you are showing them exactly what they think of us already.

The first thing I see on the internet after Obama was reelected was the Billionaire CEO of a company threatened to fire his employees if Obama gets reelected, but thankfully he changed his mind and gave them all raises.  Then a Las Vegas CEO fires 22 employees because of Obama’s reelection.  WTF?  Those CEO’s are billionaires whose incomes are probably about a million times more than what they would lose from Obamacare, if that.  Those people needed their jobs, how greedy can one person be to fire people when nothing has even happened yet?

Then I see that Papa John’s is going to start cutting the hours of their employees and/or raising the price of the pizza by 11 to 14 cents.  What?  You just gave away 2 MILLION FREE PIZZAS, and you are going to take it out on your employees over something that hasn’t even happened yet?  But don’t worry about Papa John because there is going to be a Papa John’s Pizza Appreciation Day which is a repeat of the Chick-Fil-A appreciation day… which reminds me…

Remember when Chick-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy came out saying he was against gay marriage and all the gays went nuts and started boycotting?  It wasn’t because of what he said but because of what he did, or had been doing for many years which is donating millions of dollars to anti-gay hate organizations who were lobbying for the “Kill the Gays Bill” in Uganda, which I’m sure you know by now has passed.  So thanks to all of you who ate at Chick-Fil-A even when you found out that Dan Cathy was homophobic and even though you knew he was donating millions of dollars to fund anti-gay hate groups.  Those gay Ugandan’s bloods are on your hands.  Mike Huckabee, I hope you appreciate that because you started the Chick-Fil-A appreciation day to spite us, so your hands are especially bloody because you just killed millions of innocent gay people.  And that’s not hyperbole either.

Getting back to where I was…

This guy wrote a blog post and it is in the New York Magazine saying this:

“All family and friends, even close family and friends, who I know to be Democrats are hereby dead to me. I vow never to speak to them again for the rest of my life, or have any communications with them. They are in short, the enemies of liberty. They deserve nothing less than hatred and utter contempt.” – Eric Dondero

Really?  You are that upset that you are going to shun your family and friends for voting for Obama?  I will tell you why I voted the way I did right now.  I’m gay and I’m a Democrat!  Need I say more?  First of all, I would’ve rather had Jill Stein because I was more compatible with her than Obama, but I voted the way I did because I couldn’t vote for Mitt Romney.  I mean, I am gay and Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan are anti-gay.  Why in the hell would I, a gay man, vote for people who hate me?  It doesn’t make sense, so of course I wouldn’t vote for them.

Paul Ryan said he was going to use federal money to fight for DOMA in the courts to defend marriage so gay people can’t get married.  Why the hell would I vote for him?  And Mitt Romney said that he was going to end hospital visitations for gay couples because he believes that being able to visit a dying spouse in the hospital is a “privilege,” not a right.  How dare anyone decide whether I can visit my life partner of 18 years in the hospital or not.  That’s just not ethical, which is why I could not in all conscience vote for Romney/Ryan.

Like I said, I don’t know for a fact that these people unfriended me for political reasons, but one of them blocked me so I will never know for sure.  I sent the other one an email, so I will find out that answer and hopefully soon because my feelings are hurt over it.  I basically lost a best friend over, I don’t even know why.

I thought we lived in a democracy where everyone had the freedom to have their own opinions and was allowed to vote how they wanted to.  I didn’t get unfriended when Obama won in 2008, so why unfriend me now after all we have been through?  And even if Mitt Romney did win, I wouldn’t unfriend my republican friends because that’s just stupid.  Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

Ok so that’s not all.  This woman said something so racist and so reprehensible on Facebook that Fox 40 in Turlock wrote an article with video saying the secret service was investigating her for saying, and I quote here:

“Another 4 years of this (N-word),” Helms wrote. “Maybe he will get assassinated this term.”

In the video she was shocked that what she said was wrong.  She later apologized only because (and this is my assumption) she was forced into it.  I’m sorry but it’s too little too late for apologies.  You called the POTUS a hurtful term that was used to oppress a race of people and called for his death, you don’t do that no matter how much you dislike him.  You just don’t do that.  What is wrong with you?  Seriously people, what is wrong with her?  She must have gone insane to think that what she said was okay.  She said that her friends told her it was racist and even though she couldn’t understand why, she apologized.  Dumb, dumb, dumb!

Then…  A woman blames her husband for Obama getting reelected and tries to run him over with her jeep.  WHAT?  Have you heard enough?  Cause there’s more.  He didn’t even vote!  Why did she do that?  They were having an argument in a parking lot that was very loud and she blamed him for Obama being reelected because he didn’t vote.  The thing is, they live in Arizona and Mitt Romney won Arizona by 200,000 votes, so even if he did vote, he is not responsible for Obama winning the presidency with his 1 vote.  Luckily for him, he’s in the hospital still alive, and also lucky for him, she is in jail for domestic violence for aggravated assault.  The funny thing is, she wasn’t even inebriated at all.  Not high, not drunk, just pissed off.

But that’s not all.  Now 19 states have filed petitions to secede from the rest of the country because Obama was reelected.  Seriously?  Are you actually serious?

All of these temper tantrums just need to stop.  Don’t fire people or raise the price of pizza or run over your husbands or shun your friends just because Obama was reelected as the president.  Don’t act so hasty and make permanent decisions that have life long consequences.  Think about what you are doing first and make sure that you have cause for your childish behavior.  Stop thinking of yourselves and quit acting like such children.

It’s done, he’s the president, deal with it.  There is nothing you can do, so just deal with it and move on with your life.  Stop being so angry all the time because life is what you make of it, and if you are an angry bitter person because of who the president is, then you are going to have a bad life.  You are only passing your anger onto those who love you and they aren’t going to want to keep you around if you are just going to bring them down every time you open your mouth.  Trust me, I know.  I have had to live with “Obama said this” or “Obama did that” for the last 4 years and frankly I’m sick of hearing it, and now I have to hear it for another 4 years.  I can’t keep living this way.  Stop putting it all on me and just move on to something more positive damn it!

I am stepping off of my soapbox now.

soapbox

Our 18 Year Anniversary

I wanted to post this a few nights ago but my blog stopped working…

Darrin and I met on March 25th, 1994 and have been together ever since.  I wrote in my book about how I thought that our relationship wouldn’t go past the 10 month mark because my relationships before only lasted 10 months.  I don’t know what it was about 10 months, but we have stayed together and now it has been 18 years.

I think that this should be a lesson to naysayers who say that a gay relationship cannot last.  I think we have more than proven that love doesn’t have a gender.  We deserve the same rights as every straight married couple out there in the world.

Here is to 18 more wonderful years together and the end of marriage discrimination.

Gay Pride in Bakersfield with Human Rights Campaign

Today was the day that I volunteered for the Human Rights Campaign.

I got an email last week telling me that they will be in Bakersfield for Gay Pride this weekend and they were looking for volunteers.  I immediately thought, Hell yeah I want to volunteer.

I signed up for 1-4pm and of course I stayed until 5 because I didn’t want to leave at all because I was having such a good time.

The people coming up to the booth were just the most friendly people you would ever meet in your life.  Everyone had a smile on their faces.

Apparently, HRC has never been to Bakersfield pride so the event coordinator was thrilled that we were there.  I was shocked to find out that Bakersfield even had a gay pride.  I thought that was so cool and I was really glad I was involved.

What we were doing was we were getting people to fill out the petition for gay marriage for 2012.  If they wanted a free sticker, temporary tattoo, or a canvas bag they had to just fill out the little card or the petition sheet.

We were selling memberships and if you bought a membership you got a free t-shirt, cap, necklace or a bracelet depending on how much you paid for your membership.

I didn’t want to go but I left at 5pm with my “Legalize Gay” t-shirt on and a smile on my face the whole bicycle trip home.

If they ever ask me to volunteer for anything else I will do it in a heartbeat.

Hey, just because I’m not there anymore doesn’t mean I won’t still ask you to help them out. Please visit HRC.org and become a member today to help in the fight.  You know you want to.

Follow @HRC on Twitter and Like them on Facebook

Pray the Gay Away?

Thanks to the Oprah Winfrey Network (the new OWN channel) we have some new shows to watch on TV and Our America with Lisa Ling is among one of them that I am interested in watching.

Todays episode was “Pray the Gay Away?” along with a very special primetime episode of the new Gayle King Show where they discuss the episode, take calls and talk to participants from the documentary.

I think that every gay person has their own beliefs as to why there is homosexuality. My own partner of 17 years believes that he is gay because of his parents’ failed marriage when his father came back from the Korean War in the mid 50’s. His father came home mentally traumatized and their relationship ended and his father eventually passed away. He believes that the destruction of his parents marriage and subsequent death is what turned him gay. And he has every right to have his opinion whether I or anyone else disagrees with it.

I personally believe that I was born this way because I’ve always had an attractiveness towards the same-sex since I met a cute boy named Ruben when I was 4 years old. I had dreams about him and I just knew that I liked him. There was nothing out of the ordinary that made me choose to like him, I just did.

I mean, one could argue that I may have turned gay because of the abuse I endured throughout my childhood but I didn’t know any better. I thought it was normal for parents to beat their children and call them stupid and retarded and worthless among other names. I saw the way my aunt and uncle raised their 3 kids which was basically the same or worse so that there told me, it’s normal. My cousins were treated way worse than I was and they all turned out straight and so did my sister.

So in my case I just don’t believe that my being abused the same way as 4 other people had any impact on my sexuality because I was the only gay one.

I do have other cousins from a different aunt and uncle who treated their kids like human beings and 2 of them turned out lesbian after suffering no childhood trauma. So what does that tell you? They raised 5 kids and 2 of them turned out differently despite all of them being treated with the same love.

The argument that there is no evidence of a gay gene and that it’s all taught to you, you are born straight but you turn gay from your environment is all bullcrap to me. Maybe the gay gene isn’t meant to be found, maybe we’re chosen for this life for population control or who knows, maybe something else.

This Exodus group tells people that they can change and I feel it is wrong because the only person who can change you is you. If you are gay and you are just so unhappy about it and want to put in the effort to turn straight then go for it. Don’t expect for it to work because you will always be gay no matter what they tell you. But if you are in that much pain about it and you have the will power then fine. Do what you like, it’s your body. But don’t turn around and condemn those who refuse to live a lie for the rest of their existence.

This one woman (whose name escapes me) who is a pastor and says she was a lesbian for 14 or so years but then decided to be straight, she compares homosexuality with addiction to drugs or alcohol. I can’t even begin to think what Bullcrap that is because I’ve been gay for 40 years and celibate for the last 10. I am not going through withdrawals lol. I didn’t go through withdrawals 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 2 years ago, 1 year ago or today. I am completely withdrawal free and unfortunately still sex free but that was never my choice, it was the choice of my partner who has erectile dysfunction (he’s 21 years older than I am) so I have to respect that.

Of course being a born again Christian he tells people that he is abstaining from sex not because of his “ED” but because he is a “non-practicing homosexual” so the church won’t kick him out. And hey, if that’s what you have to do then that’s what you have to do. I have no ill feelings about him for any of that.

That only thing that pissed me off throughout the whole show was that ex-lesbian woman comparing sexuality to addiction. I think that I am living proof that it was never an issue of “I gotta have it” because I don’t gotta have anything. I can certainly abstain with the help of my old childhood friend Tom Thumb and his 4 brothers.

Look if you are a born again christian and you feel that being gay means you are going to hell for it and don’t want that then change yourself because that is what you want to do. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking it’s wrong because it’s not wrong, it’s natural to want to live a happy life and for someone to tell you that you are sinning are themselves sinning for taking gods job away by acting as judge. There is a recession so let God do his job.

It’s 2011. When is racism and bigotry going to end? Is it going to be soon?

We all believe in what we all want to believe in and these opinions are what I believe in. Thank you for reading.

As for my relationship, our 17 year anniversary is in 2 1/2 weeks. Even I can’t believe it has been 17 years. I am with the person I was meant to be with whether sex is involved in the relationship or not. Sex doesn’t make a relationship, it is only a part of it and who says it even has to be any part of it after so many years? We love each other just the way we are, thin or fat, sick or healthy, till death do we part. In this life and the next as I feel I have found my true soul mate and no church can convince us otherwise.

Thank You Mr. Obama For Making DOMA Unconstitutional

I got this email today from Freedom To Marry:

Michel,
Great news.

This morning, President Barack Obama took a historic step that will help advance the freedom to marry. On the recommendation of the Attorney General, the President has determined that sexual orientation discrimination should be presumed unconstitutional.

Because of this, the Department of Justice today concluded that the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” is an unconstitutional and indefensible law.

As litigation challenging federal discrimination has unfolded, Freedom to Marry called on the President to protect same-sex couples and their families by applying heightened scrutiny against sexual orientation discrimination. And today, the President heeded our call.

Will you join me in thanking the President for refusing to defend this discriminatory law?

http://freedomtomarry.org/ThankObama
Make no mistake–the President’s decision didn’t happen overnight. It was the result of thousands of marriage supporters like you who have shared your stories, made phone calls, and sent e-mails demonstrating the harm that DOMA inflicts on families.

Until pending federal cases shake out, or Congress takes action, DOMA will still be in effect, but the President and the Justice Department are now on the right side of history, standing against anti-gay discrimination.

This brings us closer to Freedom to Marry’s goal of ending federal marriage discrimination and fully protecting all loving and committed couples and their families.

Join me in thanking President Obama for taking this crucial step towards ending the exclusion of gay and lesbian couples from marriage.

http://freedomtomarry.org/ThankObama

We still have a long way to go, but I know that with supporters like you, Michel, we’re closer to victory.

Thanks for all you do,

Evan Wolfson
Executive Director

Not only is our president making history by being the first African-American president, but he is also making history by making sexual orientation discrimination unconstitutional.

I don’t know why it has taken this long to make it unconstitutional. I mean, it’s unconstitutional for everyone else to be discriminated against but it’s ok to discriminate against gay people?  I don’t know why it took until the year 2011 for this to happen.  It’s amazing to me how far we have come and I guess better late than never right?

So thank you Mr. Obama for your support of gay people’s rights.

Judge Removes Stay on Prop 8 Ruling

Below are the facts from Towleroad.com. From what I heard on Fox News, gay couples can get married on August 18th but… and it’s a big but(t), that gives the Prop 8 team a week to stop it from happening. They will stop at nothing to “protect” marriage from gay people.

Ok look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times more. Gay people getting married does not hurt straight people’s marriages. If anything it helps the economy because gay people are going to be spending big bucks on their weddings, probably more than straight people would spend.

Now I know that the argument for Prop 8 is not a financial argument but more a moral argument that being gay is immoral according to the bible which was NOT written by a “higher power” but by a bunch of bigots about 2000 years or so ago.

There seems to be a lot of things in the bible that people choose to ignore like that eating shellfish is an abomination (obama-nation?) LEV 10:10, slavery is a good thing especially when you are selling your own DAUGHTER Exodus 21:7, if you wear glasses you cannot get in to heaven LEV 21:23, that is something that everyone seems to forget and so many more.

My personal favorite is the one that says if you work on the sabbath you must be put to death. Oh yes it’s in there. Exodus 35:2. Check it out.

Now, please do me a favor, if you are going to ignore all these other things, please ignore all the gay BS in the bible. Thank you.

Amplify’d from www.towleroad.com

Judge Removes Stay on Prop 8 Ruling; Gay Couples Can Marry Aug 18

UPDATE: WE now have official documents. The stay is in place until August 18, at which time couples can marry as far as I can see.

is reporting that Judge Walker has lifted the stay on his ruling striking down Proposition 8, meaning couples are free to marry in California.

AWAITING official documents…

Also no word on the status of any appeal…

Said Evan Wolfson of Freedom to Marry in a statement:

“California is now the sixth state where same-sex couples share in the freedom to marry. As the Governor, the Attorney General, and Judge Walker have all concluded, there is no good reason to continue excluding same-sex couples from marriage. Same-sex couples across California can once again share in the respect and personal significance of marriage, as well as the critical safety net of protections and responsibilities that marriage will bring to their families. We are witnessing a growing consensus in America that loving and committed same-sex couples deserve the same respect and the same rights as everyone else. Americans on all sides of the aisle, from Laura Bush to Bill Clinton, have embraced the reality that the freedom to marry helps families, while hurting no one. As same-sex couples in California today celebrate their love,commitment, and equal protection under the law, a majority of Californians and a majority of Americans support their right to marry.”

Read more at http://www.towleroad.com

See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/8mdv