Tag: older sister

My Book is Almost Ready for Publication

On By Michel McDonaldIn Autobiography, It Gets BetterLeave a comment

I started writing my life story many years ago, but really worked hard on it in 2011.  It took me 2+ months to write it and 4 months to edit it.  I have sent it off to a few people as an advanced copy and of course mistakes were found.  So it is not yet ready for publication, but it will be soon.

In case anyone is wondering what it’s about, I’ll tell you.  I was abused as a child by my stepfather; my mother and older sister also mentally abused me.  I tried to kill myself many times from the age of 13 until I was 20.  A woman attempted to molest me when I was 15 years old and I was raped multiple times when I was 20. I was homeless for 6 months at the age of 15 and for 10 months when I was 17.  I was also homeless in my early 20’s; I was living in motels, but that is technically considered being homeless.  I met my soul mate and life partner of 17 (going on 18) years and meeting him was when it got better.

I started out writing my life story (as if anyone cared because I’m a nobody) but then these gay children started killing themselves and it suddenly evolved into an “It Gets Better” book.  I want to show that I had a horrible life and I wanted to end it all, but it got better for me and it can get better for them too if they just hang on for a little bit longer.  It may seem like it’s never going to get better, and believe me, I thought for years it could only get worse, but it did get better.

My main goal is that it may help someone out there who is being bullied and wanting to end it all.  They will read my “it gets better” book and see that it got better for me and it can get better for them too.  If they don’t read it, and I don’t expect them to, then perhaps someone can read it and give them the cliffs-notes version to help them.

I am a bit nervous about publishing it because of course I don’t want the people who I wrote about to get upset with me, despite them being in the wrong.  They don’t even talk to me so I don’t know why I would care if they were upset with me anyway.

I am excited because I am finally finished and can publish it soon.  What makes me more excited is that I can finally help some charities when I get my first check from the sales of the book.  I have wanted to help these charities for a long time but couldn’t because I never had the money.

Today is Wednesday, so hopefully I will be able to publish my book within the next week.  Of course I will be advertising my little butt off here, on Twitter, on Google+ and on Facebook so stay tuned for that lol.

Thanks for reading.

The Search for Childhood Friends

On By Michel McDonaldIn Friends and Family1 Comment

When I got my first internet enabled computer in the late 90’s, I figured it would help me find all of my childhood friends. The ones that I could remember their names anyway. I joined websites like Classmates but they weren’t a huge help because you have to pay them every month. I can’t afford that.

So I’ve basically just been doing a search every year since 1997 and usually with no luck until now. Last year I found 2 friends from the late 70’s, Marla and Jeff. When I was 9, Marla was 5 and Jeff was 10. I considered Marla to be my best friend at the apartment building and I didn’t really get to know Jeff until maybe months before we moved away but when I did get to know him he was my best friend. It was too bad we moved and didn’t become even better friends. I feel like I really missed out on a good friendship.

But I also had a best friend from school named Larry who I’ve searched with no results until last night. Just like when I found Marla and Jeff, I went to Facebook and typed Larry’s full name and I found him. He has been on Facebook for a whole year and I didn’t know. I think that I did find him last year but he didn’t have enough information for me to decide to email him. Also he is a jr. and his name doesn’t say that in his Facebook profile so I wasn’t sure if it was him or not.

I emailed him asking him if he is who I think he is from the late 70’s living in my city and going to my school and even cub scouts with me. He said it was him but he needed more information because he could only remember 2 people from back then. I sent him 2 pictures of me from 1979, 1 in cub scout uniform and another lounging with my older sister. Plus I gave him a huge email explaining why things happened the way they did with me quitting the cub scouts and us moving etc.

That was last night at like 1am and I was tired so I might have over shared with maybe a little too much enthusiasm but I’m sure it didn’t scare him off lol. I tend to do that to people, freak them out with my enthusiasm. I don’t mean to though lol.

I haven’t heard back from him yet but I’m sure I will hear from him tonight and see if that really is him or not. If so then I am so happy that I finally found him after all these years.

Thank you internet and Facebook for bringing people back into my life.

My Funny Childhood Phrases

On By Michel McDonaldIn My ChildhoodLeave a comment

When I was growing up my parents and aunt said the funniest things to us kids. Like for example, when someone farted they would call it “stepping on a frog”. Have you ever heard anyone refer to it as that? The reason they said that was because back in the 70′s the word fart was a bad word. It was such a bad word that we would get slapped (or in my case beat) if we said it. So the nicest way of saying it was stepping on a frog.

Every night when we went to bed, my mother would tell us “Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite, if they bite, bite them back.”

When I was in my late 20′s I said that to a friend of ours who lived right on the beach in Malibu just before she went to bed and I got a tongue lashing from it. ”HOW DARE YOU” and that wasn’t from the friend, that was from Darrin. How dare I accuse her of having bed bugs, she’s rich, she lives in a beach house in Malibu. How dare I even suggest that she has any bugs in her house.

It’s funny how despite my best intentions, something from my childhood isn’t quite accepted by anyone other than my family members.

And yes, that is me on the right, the girl on the left is my older sister. I don’t remember the occasion that picture was taken but I think it was when we lived on Holtby Road here in Bakersfield which is oddly enough on my exercise bike route. I pass that house every time I ride my bike to the bike trail.

Student Bunk Bed

On By Michel McDonaldIn Daily BlogLeave a comment

LOL I have to laugh because I have this fantasy that I have a bunk bed with a desk in my bedroom.  I’m 38 years old going on 12.  I just don’t feel 38 for some reason.  I want to have posters of singers on my walls and I want to have a bunk bed and sleep on the top bunk.  This is the first time I’ve had my own bedroom, and I really mean that.  When I was a kid I either shared a room with my older sister or when we lived in Reseda my bedroom was a walk-in closet and when we were in Sepulveda my bed was in the living room.  I never really had my own bedroom.

When I was living with my sister I had to sleep on the couch in the living room.  I did move back in with my parents when I was 18 and I had my own bedroom but that was short-lived, I’ve had my own room many times but for a short period of time.  I don’t count the times I’ve lived in motels as having my own room cause that’s all it was, a bedroom.  When I’ve been in relationships I don’t consider the room being mine because it was shared with the person I was with who always had the design decision.

I didn’t have a very good childhood and so I’m reclaiming it and I just don’t feel 38.  I feel like a pre-teen with my bike and my video games and stuff.  My bedroom here in Bakersfield is a really small room, I don’t have any room to walk around or do anything.  If I had a Nintendo Wii system I wouldn’t be able to play games very effectively because I have no room to move in here.  My desk is so huge too which isn’t bad, I actually like my desk.  It’s a corner desk and it’s right next to my tv so I can watch tv while typing (as I am doing now).

Darrin is about to start working (keep your fingers crossed) at Mor furniture for less and they have these bunk beds (in the children’s section lol) and one of them I really like.  It has a desk on the side and it has a top bunk bed then it has a bottom bed that sticks out and it’s really neat because it has shelves inside there and a dresser which I don’t currently have.  I’m using Rubbermaid drawers for my socks and underwear and I have to fold and put my t-shirts in the linen closet.  So this would be perfect for shirts at least.  Here is a picture.  The only problem is it’s $800 lol.

deskbunkBonanza Student Bunk

$799.99

“Your children will have their sights set on the Bonanza Student Bunk Bedroom collection. Functional and fun, this solid pine package features space-saving design with plenty of desk and bookshelf space. This collection includes bunk bed, and desk with hutch. (Chair not included.)”

I’ve never slept on the top bunk before but at the same time my BiPap machine would be perfect on one of those shelves on the bottom bunk.  But I think that at 230lbs, I’d be better off on the bottom bunk don’t you think?