Growing Old (un)Gracefully

Do you mind if I vent for a few minutes about something that has been bothering me?  Of course you don’t mind, I mean, that’s why you’re here right?  To listen to me venting, I mean, that’s what a blog is right?

I don’t know what it is but the older I get, the more of a prick I become.  I don’t know why.  I mean, it could be me or it could be people constantly pushing me to becoming a prick day in and day out.

I’m constantly being pressured to do something I don’t feel comfortable doing and eating foods that I don’t want to eat for one reason or another.  No means no right?  When you say “oh no, that’s not what I want to eat” that means that’s not what the f I want to eat, does it not?  It doesn’t mean, keep pressuring me because I can’t make my own GD decisions.  It means I don’t fricken’ want it so stop GD asking me!

Oh sorry where was I?

Oh yeah, I’m going through some weird stuff with my body right now and I’m just constantly irritable because of the constant pain I’m always in.  I’m only 40, turning 41 and I feel like I’m in my 80’s.  I feel twice as old as I am.

My back is in constant pain because I have degenerative disc disease.  Do you know what that means?  Well, it’s really self-explanatory, my discs are degenerating.  It’s really simple.  Take a marshmallow and flatten it a bit.  Ok that is what the discs look like that are cushioning your spine bones.  Now, press on it and flatten it some more so it’s really thin.  That’s what my discs are doing.  So if my discs are thinning out because they are degenerating what do you think is happening to my bones?  It’s a constant pain from the minute I wake up until the minute I go to sleep at night.

I’m losing my eyesight.  I don’t know if this is normal but all of a sudden it’s like something clouds my eyes, both of them, not at the same time obviously.  I have to rub my eyes to get it out and it’s fine but it’s constantly coming back.  My eyes aren’t that great to begin with, I mean, I’m having to look through the bifocal part of my glasses to read as I type this which isn’t a good thing since I should be able to see with the top part.

Apparently I’m also losing my hearing because every time people talk around me they are talking so low that I can’t hear a word they are saying.  I feel like I’m being left out of nearly every conversation.  I feel like yelling “SPEAK UP” but then I’m afraid of how crazy I must sound so I just ignore people who are talking and think about something else and just nod as they talk.

I have really bad carpal tunnel syndrome too so either one or both of my hands are either numb or pins and needles at any given time, usually all the time.  I can’t open jars anymore on my own, oh no I need help with that.  I have these muscles on my arms and I can’t even open a jar or a can without help.  I have a one-touch can opener because I can’t even open a fricken’ can of tuna on my own anymore.

I have people asking me if there is something wrong and asking me why I’m so irritable, and this from people who are older than I am.  It’s like, you of all people should be more sympathetic knowing how the aging process goes.

I’m only 40!!!  This isn’t supposed to happen to me!!!  I mean gawd, I’m like 15 years old on the inside but 80 on the outside.  I really hate this.

Despite this I try to be in a good mood but I have people constantly irritating me and making me feel like I have no basis for being irritable, like I’m making up the problems or something for attention then they look at me like I’m being a drama queen.  I don’t want that kind of attention, I just want people to back the f up and realize that I’m just trying to live a normal life without all of the complications that life gives me, I don’t need them adding complications by treating me like I’m nuts.

Wow you know I feel so much better now.  Thank you so much for helping me get through this.  Now GET OFF MY LAWN you dirty sonsabitches!  LOL just kidding…

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

There is a movie that I just heard about that is from Joss Whedon and family that I am head over heals for.  It’s called Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog which stars Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible and Nathan Fillion as Captain Hammer.

OMG it is so good.  It’s basically a 42 minute musical (as by the title) comedy all about Dr. Horrible sitting in front of his computer doing video blogs and he tries to rule the city while Captain Hammer always tries to save the day.  But Captain Hammer is a pompous prick.

Normally you would root for the good guy but in this movie the good guy is a douche and you root for the bad guy instead because even though he is evil to the core, he’s still a sweet lovable guy who just wants to get the girl (gag).

Let’s face it, Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion are perfect for these roles.  They both can sing.  Oh boy can they sing.  And they both do such a great job in this as their characters.

Dr. Horrible’s… was a little movie with 3 acts filmed during the writer’s strike of 2008.  I was told by a friend tonight about this musical episode that it was going to be a new summer 2009 show for ABC but when I went to ABC.com it didn’t show anything so I just assumed it was Hulu only.  Then I discovered that Amazon has the DVD for sale.

I also Googled the shows title and found the official website.  I’m reading the “Master Plan” and I see that it was only going to be available to see on the internet until July 20th 2008 then it’s gone from the internet forever.  But… it is still on the internet.

If you would like to buy it on DVD make sure you go to Amazon and to www.drhorrible.com to download it on iTunes.  They also have some t-shirts for sale for $25.

Nathan is in his own show on ABC called Castle which is on Monday’s at 10/9C and Neil Patrick Harris is still in How I Met Your Mother on CBS Monday’s at 8:30/7:30C.

Which ever show you watch you can also watch them at Hulu, that you can be sure of.