Prayers For Bobby

Has anyone seen this?  This is a movie called Prayers for Bobby, a Lifetime movie based on the true story of a mother (played by Sigourney Weaver) who couldn’t accept her gay son.  Here is the IMDB Synopsis:

“True story of Mary Griffith, gay rights crusader, whose teenage son committed suicide due to her religious intolerance. Based on the book of the same title by Leroy Aarons.”

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZT9b9xp2DU

I watched this movie on YouTube through my Blu-Ray player and boy did I cry my eyes out.  This story is so emotional that I had to pause it a couple of times because I was missing the movie because I was crying so hard.

This is a movie that every religious anti-gay parent and family should watch before they decide to give up on or throw their child away for being gay.

Keep Your Chin Up Jonah

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg

This was shared with me on Facebook today and I couldn’t help but cry throughout the whole video.  This kid named Jonah who just started the 8th grade this year has been bullied since the 1st grade is showing that although he is terrified of being bullied, he has a million reasons to not kill himself.

He talks about cutting himself and even shows where his scars are, you can’t really see them but I’ll take his word for it.  I think that was when he started to cry which was what set me off and I started bawling.

Dear Jonah if you are reading this, I know what you are going through because I went through something very similar.  I know how tough life is and I’m sure you keep hearing “It Gets Better” but it really does.  You have to hold your chin up and just try to get by day-to-day.

Let me tell you something about me.  I didn’t actually start to get bullied until junior high school and the only reason it took that long was because we moved around so much that nobody really got to know me to start bullying me until the 7th grade.

I was abused by my step-dad mentally and physically since I was a baby so I know what it’s like to be bullied on a daily basis.  When the kids started bullying me was when I tried to end my life because I just couldn’t take being bullied at school and at home.  I attempted suicide almost every night.  I almost killed myself when I was 13 years old by choking myself.  I would choke myself until I became unconscious but then I’d wake up in the morning.  I finally gave up after weeks of killing myself every night because it wasn’t working.

It isn’t worth dying over because even though you are still so young, you will have something to offer the world and I know you will succeed because I believe in you.  You do have a million things to live for and I applaud you for making this video to hopefully open people’s eyes to what you are going through.  Maybe you will write a book some day and when you do I hope you share it with me.

Speaking of which, I wrote my own book and I would like to give it to you for free when it is published.  It is a bit depressing and you have enough to worry about but perhaps it might provide some inspiration.

I believe in Karma and I know that those bullies will get what is coming to them when they are older.  Believe me, they will be fat, bald and in the middle of their third divorce while paying $1000-$5000 a month in child support.

Stay positive and keep being you. *hug*

Writing My Book Isn’t Easy

I’ve mentioned in here before that I’m writing a book based on my childhood. It’s about the abuse that I took from being beaten with a fire log to being punched in the face at age 13. Also being homeless at 15 and 17.

Edit: It’s not just a few abuse stories but the abuse I took throughout my childhood.

Thinking about these 6 kids who committed suicide has really gotten me to think differently about my book because I too tried to commit suicide, not just because of the school bullies but also because of my parents who bullied me more than the kids at school.

I don’t want to compare what happened to me to what happened to them because I really don’t know what happened to them. Everyone’s story is like a finger print or a snow flake, no two are alike.

The problem that I’m facing though is, I’m not a writer. Yes I write blog posts from time to time but this is different.

I sent my life partner a chapter to read and after only reading 1 paragraph he told me that my sentence structure needs work. I reminded him that I am not a writer and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing lol. Then he said it was too long, I need to shorten some of the stories. It’s a book! I can’t shorten the stories because the only way to understand what happened is to read the long ass stories.

A friend of mine offered to edit it because she loves to read. She didn’t say anything about what was wrong with the chapter, in fact she just said it was good. She doesn’t edit books for a living but I trust her judgement because she loves to read.

I can’t afford to pay someone to edit my book, I can’t even pay a ghost writer to write it for me, all I can do is write and edit it the way I have been and hope that it is readable.

I’m not writing it to make big bucks, I’m writing it to get it all off my chest. I have family members who were cut out of my life until I was 27 years old when I finally met them who would like to know what happened during my childhood that they were not allowed to witness.

It will take some time for me to write because I really have to be in the mood and I haven’t been feeling much in the mood lately. Thinking about those kids who killed themselves has really put things in perspective for me and I start to think, do I really need to write this book? Was my life that bad? I mean, there are people who got it worse than I did, some so bad they actually killed themselves.

My abuse stories weren’t even that bad, I mean being punched in the face is nothing compared to one guy who said that he was cinderella, forced to do all the housework, beaten and left to starve in a dungeon like basement. I was treated like a prince compared to that guy.

Well, as I said, I’m not writing it to make money, more to give my friends and family to read. It will probably be offered for $1 on Barnes and Noble once I finish it. I have to set a price and as far as I know Pubit doesn’t let you give your book away.

Ok, I’m done venting lol.

Gay Teens Commit Suicide Thanks to Bullies

It’s Time to End Teenage Bullying – via The Ellen Degeneres Show

I just heard the news that 5 teenagers have committed suicide in the past 3 weeks. These kids were bullied in school and/or outed on the internet as being gay. They just couldn’t take it anymore so they killed themselves.

I heard that one of the 13-year-old boys hung himself.  13 years old!  You cannot imagine how bad he must have been made to feel to hang himself.  I don’t know the circumstances or the way the other ones killed themselves but things have to be pretty bad to get to that point.

My heart truly goes out to the parents of these children as well as the children who are going through this.  You know, when I was their age I was this close (holds fingers close together) to doing the same thing.  It’s bad.  It really is and I know how they feel.

I would like for all parents out there to please sit down with their children and tell them that being a bully is such a waste of your teenage years.  Stop teaching your kids hatred and to be a bully and start teaching them that it doesn’t matter what color someone is, if they are fat, if they are gay or even the slightest bit different from them.  We are all human beings no matter what.  There is no reason to go around bullying anyone period!

I would also like to send a message out to all of the LGBT children out there.  I know first hand how bad it is for you.  I was a teenager once myself.  I endured the bullying for years but I had to keep telling myself that it’s going to be better someday.  It won’t last forever.  Just keep telling yourself that.  Ignore what the other kids say or what they call you because in 15-30 years they are going to have children and there is a 50/50 chance that their children are going to be gay and come out of the closet.  They will have to learn tolerance then.

Your life is too precious and valuable to do that.  Please, if you feel you need to talk to someone, use these resources that Ellen Degeneres has put on her website (link above).  They can help you in a way that even your parents and family can’t (or won’t).

I promise you, it will get better but you need to give life a chance and talk about it with someone.  Let them be your lifeline.

  • The Trevor Project at 866 4U TREVOR. It’s a 24-hour, national help line for gay and questioning teens. You can learn more about The Trevor Project at their website: thetrevorproject.org.
  • Angels and Doves is a nationwide anti-bullying non-profit organization.  Their website isAngelsandDoves.com
  • The National Center for Bullying Prevention is helping to promote awareness and teach effective ways to respond to bullying. You can learn more about them at their website:Pacer.org/bullying
  • The Matthew Shepard Foundation runs Matthew’s Place, an online community and resource center for LGBTQ youth. The website is matthewsplace.com
  • GLSEN is also a great organization that is working to eradicate bullying and bias in schools. Their website is: glsen.org
  • STOMP Out Bullying is focused on reducing bullying and cyber bullying. Find out more on their website: stompoutbullying.org