Weight Loss

I have struggled with my weight since I quit smoking and gained 50lbs. I vowed to never get over 200lbs in the late 90’s, but I just couldn’t control the weight gain. I wasn’t eating anything that bad, so I never could understand what I was doing wrong.

Last year in January 2013 I made a New Years resolution to start losing weight. I was 262lbs and I dropped 70lbs and went down to 192lbs. I was so proud of myself, but then both my partner and I decided that we’re both tired of eating nothing but fruits and vegetables and weight watchers frozen dinners every day for the last 6 months, so we decided we could eat restaurant food and regular store-bought food as long as we stayed within a certain amount of calories and portion sizes. Well, try as I might, I couldn’t drop any more weight and I plateaued at 192 for a whole month. Then the weight starting slowly coming back and recently I went right back up to 235. UGH!

So yesterday I decided screw this eating whatever the hell I want crap, I NEED to drop this weight, like right this minute. I started the Noom app all over again from scratch and when I weighed in for the first time I had already lost some weight, so I was 227lbs. For breakfast and my 10am snack I had a banana. For lunch I had a Weight Watchers frozen dinner. For my 3pm snack I had yet another banana and for dinner I had a Weight Watchers frozen dinner.

Most people say not to eat anything after 6 or 7pm. Well here’s my problem, that’s when my appetite really comes to life. It seems as though I’m starving at that time lol. I mean, I can eat a banana for breakfast and snack and then a little meal for lunch and then another banana for my 3pm snack, but around or after dinner time, it’s like I’m famished, like I haven’t eaten in 10 years. That’s when I’m expected to not eat any more food? Yeah, um… good luck with that lol.

Last night around 8pm I started going into the kitchen and I grabbed a slice of bologna and then a slice of salami. I really wanted to make a sandwich, but when I go on my diet, I don’t eat bread. I could have eaten way more food than I did, but I chose to be good. I took a sleeping pill around 10pm and went to bed around 11pm or so.

This morning when I woke up I weighed myself and it said I was 224lbs, so at least I know the lunch meat didn’t affect my weight and the food I ate yesterday was the right amount. The Noom app said I could eat 2000 calories, but I logged around 1300 or so. I did log the lunch meat. The bologna was yellow and the salami was red.

If I can just stick with it, I will lose weight. I have complete faith in my ability to lose weight since it worked last year, I just need to be 100% committed and use the word “NO” when asked if I want to go to KFC or Golden Corral.

I bought some veggies at the store, like I bought 2 things of cauliflower and some broccoli and brussel sprouts and some other things. I didn’t buy any salad stuff because I don’t like salad without either thousand island or ranch, and those are definitely not on the menu for me. Although I did lose 40lbs back in 2003 or 2004 when all I ate were salads and I used ranch dressing, but for some reason it doesn’t work for me anymore. I have to find what works best and do that.

I haven’t been riding my bicycle to lose weight because of the heat. The best time to ride my bike in the summer time is at 5am, but I can’t seem to get to bed until 3am, so that’s out. Last night I wanted to go to bed early because I’m so sick of sleeping in until noon. Now that summer is coming to an end, when the heat starts going away I can start riding around 10am or so. I just can’t stand the heat, not even to go for a 30 minute walk. I feel like a vampire out in the sun about to burst into flames.

I’ve tried to go back on my diet this year, then my partner would buy junk and naturally I would eat that junk and then give up. I’m not going to pass up a bag of potato chips or cookies on the counter. I have an addiction. Potato chips and cookies are like crack cocaine to me. I just need some willpower… like a ton of willpower lol. If willpower came in a can, I would drink it. Unfortunately it does not. So I’m working on myself so that I can be healthy, it just takes time and patience. I know I can do this because it worked before.

I love positive feedback, but everyone is different, so what works for you may not work for me and vice versa. I’m sure people are going to say “Well what you gotta do is eat this and that and then do this exercise and blah blah blah” and that’s awesome advice, but I have to do what my body can handle and what I’m comfortable doing. I really do appreciate the advice, and thank you for thinking of me and caring enough about me to try to help.

I am using Noom which gives lots of wonderful advice and articles and I am in a Noom group so I get to talk to a group of about 10 wonderful people who are all in the same boat. It’s more of a lifeboat, but a boat all the same. This is just something that I have to do for myself.

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New Year, Noom Me… Again

Noom Logo

What do we always do on January 1st?  We make a new years resolution.  What is the number one resolution?  Say it with me.  To lose weight.  I did just that in 2013 with Noom and I plan on doing it again starting today.

We have already been to Food Maxx to buy our Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinners which is what helped me to lose 70lbs in 2013.  We also have our frozen veggies and fruit in the fruit bowl.  I start physical therapy on January 3rd and I will most likely ride my bike to get there and use the Noom cardio trainer app to log my bike ride and my PT.  I took the Noom app off my phone and put it on my Nook HD+ because I like the bigger screen and because I need the space on my phone.

Like i said, last year I was lucky enough to lose 70lbs and every week I had weight loss, and no gain.  I would love to do the same exact thing this year, but even I know that is nearly impossible.  If you try hard to do something you did before, you won’t do it and you will become frustrated and you will end up doing the opposite, so I’m just going to relax and hope for the best.  If it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.  But I hope it does lol.

So from right this moment, every breakfast I will measure the exact amount of cereal and pour the exact amount of soy milk and slice exactly 1 banana into it for breakfast.  For my snacks I will stick with fruits and lunch and dinner I will try to stick with veggies and the weight watchers meals.  That is how I did it in 2013.

It’s not difficult to do something if you set your mind to it.  I said that I will NOT eat chocolate or cookies or ice cream, and I kept my word.  Instead of eating those bad things, I substituted them for fruits.  Instead of eating chocolate ice cream, I chopped and froze a banana or cantaloupe and blended them in the food processor and made my own healthier ice cream.  Instead of eating store-bought cookies, I made my own from a recipe that I found.  In fact, here are all of my healthy recipes that I found and altered to make them healthy.

I don’t drink soda or any alcoholic beverages, so that’s a blessing, but I do drink coffee with creamer and no calorie sweetener.  I did okay on the diet last year with the coffee, so that’s not a problem.  I tried to drink water, but I just can’t stand plain old water.  I drink Crystal Light, or well the Food Maxx generic version of it anyway.  It’s 5 calories per 8oz which is not too bad.  Although people are always telling me to cut out the sweeteners and blah blah blah, but again, 70lbs last year speaks for itself.

Anyway, so that’s my plan and I am hoping to drop down to 160lbs this time.  I would like to get down to 150lbs, but I’m just going to try for 160 and see how that goes.  If I find myself wanting to drop another 10lbs then I will.  Once I get to my main goal then I will continue using the Noom app to maintain my weight.  And of course I will start blogging every weigh in day again.  My weigh in days in 2013 were Fridays, so how does Friday sound?  Sounds good to me.  So it’s settled.  This coming Friday will be my first official weigh in and blog post.

Week 35

week 35 collage

I am absolutely freaking out that I can’t seem to lose weight anymore, and instead of maintaining my weight, I am actually gaining.  I have no excuses so I’m not going to say that it’s because of my back pain, which turns out to be scoliosis, because I got my bike back and haven’t been riding it.  I have no excuse for not riding it.

So why haven’t I been riding my bicycle and why have I been gaining weight you ask?  Well, I’m not going to blame anyone because I am in control of what I eat and what I do, or don’t do.  I would like to say that because I haven’t been able to afford the Smart Ones meals every week that that is why I haven’t been able to lose weight, but that’s no excuse.  Although I have been eating, or trying to eat healthy fruits and vegetables, I have also been eating the Banquet dinners which are a lot cheaper than the Michelina’s.  One of the Banquet meals was green in the Noom app, but all the rest have been either yellow or red.  But you can’t say I haven’t tried eating healthy because I have been eating 1 1/2 to 2 cups of broccoli or mixed veggies with broccoli, cauliflower and carrots before eating the Banquet or Michelina’s frozen dinners.  I have also been eating Malt-O-Meal for breakfast, which shows up as green in the Noom app.

I have been doing everything right, well, except for every time my partner buys cookies, I end up eating half of the package.  I have also been extra hungry and been snacking on more wheat thins than I’m supposed to be snacking on.  I’ve also been snacking on other things because the mad hunger seems to be back like it was before I went on my weight loss journey.  It’s hard to calm down my food cravings when I have deprived myself for so long.  Even though I know something is bad for me, I’ll want it that much more.  I could be eating much worse, trust me, but I’m doing my best to stay away from much worse.

So yeah, I am very disappointed in myself, but I got my check and printed out some coupons for the Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinners and we’re going to go to Food Maxx today to buy some and more Malt-O-Meal.  I love those.  I am also going to ask my partner if he will please stop buying cookies and any other snacks, and if he does, be sure to hide them from me so I don’t see them and eat them.  I am also going to ask that he not ask me if I want to go to the Mexican restaurant or McDonald’s anymore because those are too tempting for me.  I don’t mind Subway, but even that is bad because of the bread, despite the fact that I always get the 9-grain wheat.

I have been doing exercises at Physical Therapy 3 days a week for approximately 30 minutes each day, which averages out to 177 calories burned each time, but I need to step it up with riding my bicycle.  I haven’t been riding it, and again this is no excuse, because my back and front tires keep going flat on me and I don’t know why.  I don’t understand why this keeps happening to me.  It’s frustrating to me.  I can’t pump the tires with my hand pump because it irritates my carpal tunnel syndrome, and I can’t keep wasting the Co2 cartridges to keep air in them daily.  1 tire uses more than 1 cartridge of air.  That’s why I haven’t been riding, because I hate having to pull over every time my tires go flat, and I can’t find what is causing them to go flat.  It’s frustrating as hell.

I wanted to save the money from the Etsy shop to buy a new bicycle, but nobody is buying anything and the Etsy shop is costing me more money every month than I am making in profits.  If people don’t start buying keychains and earrings, I’m going to have to close my Etsy store because I just can’t afford to keep paying the fees.  Of course, I will keep what items I have listed because I had to pay to list them, so I will keep them until they expire, but if nobody buys them before then, then I won’t relist them.  Whatever doesn’t sell will end up being Christmas presents because I don’t know what else to do with them.  Boy that sure showed me how unpopular my ideas are.

Wow I have totally gone off topic, haven’t I?  Anyway, I will try to do better with my diet.  If I can’t lose weight, then at least I’d like to maintain a healthy weight.  I’d love to maintain 190 if I can, which means I need to lose 6lbs again.  I’m hoping the Smart Ones will bring me back down.  I need to start saying no more too.  Those are my 2 goals for the next month.  Hopefully I can get back down to 190.  Hopefully…

Slim-Fast’s Best Tasting Shakes Ever!

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Slim-Fast for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

The New Slim Fast 3*2*1 on the go bottles - Rich Chocolate Royale

We all remember Slim-Fast when it became popular in 1987.  They started with the powder that you mix with skim milk, then they added the ready to drink cans.  Now they have the new on-the-go shake plastic bottles.  I bought an 8-pack today and had one for lunch and I can tell you that they taste amazing.

I have done the Slim-Fast plan many times and I lose weight every time.  I think the most that I have lost was 40lbs while on the Slim-Fast plan and I think that it’s time that I started losing weight again.  I plan on doing the new Slim-Fast 3-2-1 plan.  I will eat 3 snacks a day which is either veggies or the Slim-Fast snack bars, replace 2 meals with the Slim-Fast on-the-go shakes or meal bars and eating 1 sensible 500-calorie dinner with half of the plate being veggies, a quarter being protein and a quarter being grains.  It also helps to drink a full glass of water before eating dinner.

I love the snacks bars because they look and taste like candy bars.  The snack bars are good because they are a delicious calorie controlled snack that will curb your sweet cravings until dinner time.  My favorite snack bar is the chocolate nougat gone nuts.  The meal bars and shakes give you the perfect amount of calories with tons of vitamins and minerals that your body needs.

The new on-the-go shake bottles are perfect for people who don’t have time to mix their shakes.  They are easy to slip into your purse, backpack or gym bag and you can drink them any time you need to.  The shakes give you 4 hours of hunger control, which is what I need because my stomach is always hungry.

You can buy Slim-Fast on-the-go shakes, powder cans, snacks and meals at Wal-Mart, Target, Safeway and Kroger in the pharmacy department and online at Amazon.com.  Become a fan of the Slim-Fast Facebook fan page and enter in the Vow to Wow contest, enter the video contest and get some coupons for $1.50 off your next purchase.

I have heard people tell me that now is not the time to try to lose weight because of the holidays.  This is the perfect time to lose weight.  If you don’t start now then when?  Don’t make excuses and don’t let anyone pressure you into waiting until you have tried Aunt Betty’s homemade fruit cake.  Tell her no thank you, I am eating a Slim-Fast snack bar instead.  There, I have saved you from having to eat fruit cake.  You can thank me later.

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Brussells Sprouts

Growing up my mother served this vegetable at least once a week.  Brussels Sprouts was a very good idea to give to children to help them get their veggies.  However, my stepdad tainted them for me by calling them “Monkey Balls”.  I didn’t mind the taste of them but the more I thought about the image of monkey testicles in my head the less appealing they were for me.  I would eat them because I had to, I didn’t want to upset mother but at the same time the image in my head was unappealing to me so they became disgusting.

Since I was thrown out onto the streets at the age of 17 I have vowed to never eat them or even think about them again.  Well, it’s been 23 years and I think that I’ve grown enough to get over it.

I didn’t know when they were in season and Albertson’s has had them for a little over a week now so I assume July is their season(?).  I’ve been waiting for them to carry them in the produce (not frozen) section so that I could steam them and last night I finally got that chance.

I posted on my Facebook wall “Cooking a healthy dinner. 4oz boneless skinless chicken breast with 1/2 cup white rice and 3 large Brussels Sprouts. Yum yum.” and got quite a lot of responses.  Nobody ever responds to my wall posts but I guess that one struck a chord.  Apparently people love these balls.  The conversation ended with 20 responses with 2 people “liking” that post.

I discovered in this conversation that it is ok to steam them as long as I keep an eye on them.  I steamed them in the rice cooker with white rice cooking below and the timing was perfect.  When the rice was finished and the steamer button popped to “warming”, the sprouts were finished.  When I cook brown rice and steam veggies, the brown rice takes longer and over steams the veggies so it’s good to know that white rice cooking time is precise.

We only bought 10 sprouts at the store and we each had 3 last night (they were huge) and Darrin loved them so much he ate the rest this morning so we will need to get more.  Although, I don’t want to make this an everyday vegetable, I don’t want to get sick of them too fast.

I have gotten over the name “Monkey Balls” and it’s a good thing because they are only 7 calories per sprout.  Hello!  7 Calories!  That’s awesome.

My Weight

Wow!  I just weighed myself and it’s not good.  Of course most people would just not talk about it, they would pretend that it doesn’t matter or the problem doesn’t exist but I know the problem exists.  I was doing Spark People a year ago (I started on October 1st 2007) but something happened in my life and I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I gave up dieting altogether even though I had lost over 20lbs.  I was so proud of myself and then I just quit.

I was eating the food but not exercising and I was in a plateau for over a month and just couldn’t take the torture of having to suffer eating such small portions and so many veggies.  Although it wasn’t all that bad, the veggie portions were pretty big but it was still torture to eat good and not lose a single lb.  But I wasn’t exercising either so that’s where I made a huge mistake.  I didn’t step it up and help myself along the long road of losing weight.

My highest weight that I’ve ever been was 245 and I weighed myself just before I started this post and I was 243.  I’m just 2lbs from being right back to where I was.  I need this Dell DJ battery to come soon and the pump and bag.  I need them to come so I have motivation to ride my bike to get exercise.  I need the pump because it has a gauge built-in so I can see if I’m pumping the correct amount or not.  Right now they don’t feel fully pumped but I’m afraid to put too much air in because it will pop if I do.  If it doesn’t have enough it may pop from my weight.  The frame bag is just a bonus to keep all the tools with me so I don’t have to carry them.

The Dell DJ battery is a crucial part of this whole journey.  I refuse to ride the bike in silence.  It will be too boring and I will not want to keep doing it day after day if I’m bored doing it.  Of course I probably won’t have to do it day after day.

As of right now my leg muscles are still not ready for a 2 hour bike ride.  It is ready for a 5 minute bike ride before I can’t walk anymore.  What I will have to do is just ride for as long as I can going towards beach park where the bike trail is and when I get too sore then just stop, rest and head back home.  Just keep doing that every day or every other day or whatever I need.  I can’t push my muscles too far because the more sore my legs are the less likely I will want to do it.  But I heard from a trainer that if your legs are sore, so what, keep doing it.  You don’t want the muscles to heal fully, you want them to be sore because they won’t get used to it unless you keep doing it.  Yeah they will be sore for a few days but once they get used to it they wont be painful.  It will become old hat.

Let’s just hope that these items come to me soon, within a week at least.  I don’t know how much more of this fat I can take.  I can’t look at myself in the mirror anymore.  I have BDD so bad from this that I don’t even want to leave the house because people are staring at me and judging me every day.  I just want to be back to where I was when I was thin.  Nobody even noticed me because I blended in with all the other skinny people.  Fat people don’t blend in too well especially when their t-shirts are stretched out in the stomach area. Which reminds me, if this does work, if I lose a massive amount of weight by riding my bike, I’m gonna need a wardrobe change hehe.

Sparking Up Again

In October 2007 I was on the SparkPeople diet which is really not a diet but they teach you how you should be eating the right foods and the right portions. They tell you what foods to eat which include the food pyramid and you eat veggies and drink water all day long and you tell them exactly what you ate and they tell you how many calories, carbs, fats etc you had for the day.

This is really helpful in losing weight. It’s not a diet because you are eating foods you are supposed to be eating anyway. You can eat snacks just as long as they aren’t too fatty or have a lot of calories. Eating an apple for a snack is good, or carrots, hey my mom used to give that to us for snacks and celery with peanut butter. And they tell you to exercise and you can log your cardio exercises in there so it can tell you how many calories you have to burn 3 days a week. The program has 4 stages too.

In October 2007 something changed in my life a few weeks after I started this diet and I ended up slacking off because I was too depressed to continue with it. I started out on October 1st at 225lbs and lost about 13lbs. Since I quit I gained 30+lbs.

I can’t tell you how much I need to lose this weight. I am having trouble breathing, my back is breaking all the time from carrying around 93lbs of extra weight, I have sleep apnea, if I don’t get thin I will be diabetic and that is no joking matter. I need this to work.

I’m going to try to get a jump rope today because apparently that is really good cardio. I was using the treadmill a couple years ago and the calorie loss in 1 hour is the same or more for 30 min of jumping rope. When I was a kid I jumped rope for hours so hopefully I can get back into it and lose the weight.