Week 11 Weigh In Day

It’s been one helluva week for me, so I honestly don’t even care that I didn’t lose weight this week, but instead I gained about 1.2lbs.

This week I bought 10 days worth of meals from Albertson’s because they were on sale for $1.69 each, but they aren’t the Lean Cuisine or Weight Watchers Smart Ones, they are Signature Select which is a generic store brand. They taste good, and that’s really all that matters.

This week I also found my paternal father’s family and I found my brother, which I blogged about, so I’ve been celebrating and I have eaten things I shouldn’t have eaten, and honestly I just don’t care because I’m so happy right now.

The stress of trying to find someone is just unbelievable. But, I have closure now, so I don’t need to worry about being stressed out over trying to find my father. Right now my focus is getting to know my big brother. The weight will continue dropping as I continue eating healthy and continue going to the gym.

Yesterday at the gym I just felt like I was starving to death for some reason. I had to get off the treadmill after 35 minutes and I was going to go to Barnes & Noble next door to buy a croissant from the Starbucks, but then I noticed Planet Fitness had this big display with cookies that they were selling for $3. I didn’t care that it was that expensive, I just needed some food in my belly. I also didn’t care that it was 200 calories for just half of the cookie. I ate the whole damn thing. Deal with it lol. I also bought a box of generic organic nilla wafers and they were good, deal with that too lol.

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I FOUND My Brother

I cannot believe it, but I found my brother.

After I did the 23andMe and didn’t really find any useful information about my family, I decided to go to Ancestry and figure out how to populate my family tree. I started out with my mother’s side of the family, then with the help of a friend we narrowed down who my father was to one man who was born with his name in California in the 1940’s, and I actually found my father, but I wasn’t sure it was him. I discovered from a document that he had a son, so I went on a search for him, and contacted many people with his name on Facebook, that didn’t pan out. So I went to Google and a website called MyLife had information, including his name and birth date, age, and where he lived in the 90’s and it had an email address, so I emailed him.

After I emailed him I finally got a response from someone on Ancestry who told me that I had the right family, as you can see from my previous post I FOUND My Paternal Family. They didn’t know where my brother was, so I continued to wait for him to respond to my email, and a couple of days ago he finally responded.

My brother said in his reply email that the picture was small, but it did resemble his father, so we connected on Facebook and he was convinced that someone was trying to scam him or steal his identity, and who can blame him? I mean, there are so many scams out there, you literally can’t trust anyone. He wanted me to convince him before he would even talk to me, and I guess I did convince him because he acknowledges that I am his brother. I’m not going to ask him to take a DNA test, although I did take a DNA test with Ancestry and with 23andMe, so if he wants to be 100% sure, I will pay for the test, but I don’t think he will worry about it, but I will still ask him if he wants one.

Anyway, so we have talked with each other yesterday and today and he lives in Germany, so I can only talk with him from 8 am my time until 12 pm my time because he’s 9 hours ahead of me. I am very sad that we couldn’t be closer, but who knows, maybe one day I will be able to visit him in Germany. I’ve always wanted to go there, so maybe it will happen one of these days. But for now we will use Skype to communicate. It’s free and it’s not text, it’s a phone call where we can see each other. There might be a delay, but we will figure that out.

I am absolutely over the moon. Not only did I not know I had a brother, but I found him. I just can’t ask for anything more. I feel like I have accomplished my goal of finding my father, even though he has passed from this life. I feel like my brother and also the discovery of cousins and aunts and uncles is a bonus. I spent most of my life looking for one person, and I found many. I couldn’t be more happy. My search is finally over.

Oh Brother!

I need to talk about something. I will try to keep it short, but once I start talking, I can’t really control how much I say lol. If I really need to get something out, I have to get it out, you know?

So I think I have found my paternal father. I mean, well, I think I have found out who he was. The records on Ancestry are wrong because I found a document which tells a different story about who my father’s parents were and who he was married to when he had a son in 1968 before I was even born. So yes, I’m saying I think I have a brother out there in the world.

I found a person who matches the exact age of my brother with the same first and last name with the same spelling and the same birth date. He lives in the United States in North Carolina, and right now they are flooded from Hurricane Florence. He hasn’t responded to me since I sent him an email, and I’m pretty sure he won’t have internet until they can get things working again. I pretty much have to be patient, but it’s real hard being patient when I HAVE A BROTHER out there in the world. I’m excited, and real worried about him even though I didn’t even know he existed until a few days ago.

My whole life I’ve felt like I had a brother out there in the world. I always felt like there was a piece of me that was missing, and for the longest time I thought it was because I never knew my paternal father, and as I aged and couldn’t find him, I knew I might never find him. And now I think that the other part of me that is missing isn’t just my father, it’s also my brother.

Have you ever felt so happy and so sad at the same time? I want to cry for joy that I think I have finally learned who my father was and I want to cry for joy knowing I might have a brother, but I also want to sad cry because I still don’t have the correct answers. The person I think is my father HAS to be my father, but I don’t know for sure until my brother contacts me and let’s me know if the picture I sent him is indeed also his father, then I will know for sure, and I will know if my father is alive or not. It’s all this not knowing that is causing me to be sad. Have you ever felt that? Is it just me?

I’m really frustrated right now. My stomach is in knots.

Windows 8 Installation Issues

Do you ever feel like your stick in a situation you can’t get yourself out of when you try to install a new operating system that doesn’t want to work properly?  Yeah, me too.

My first computer in 1989 was an Apple //e.  It didn’t have a tower with a hard drive, it did but my friend asked my brother-in-law to put a sound board in there that would make the computer talk when you typed and when he tried taking it back, it fried the motherboard.  All he was left with was the clunky keyboard, 2 floppy drives and the monitor.  He sold it to me in 1989 for $750.  It didn’t have a mouse or any icons, it was all dos.

My second computer was an IBM, but it had a tower with a motherboard and a hard drive, but it didn’t have windows on it.  I only had that for a couple of weeks in 1997 before I bought my very first Windows-based computer which had Windows 95 on it.  When 98 came out, I upgraded and when ME came out I upgraded to that too.  When XP came out, I had already built my first computer and put that on it and gave the one with ME on it to Darrin when we moved to Bakersfield.  Over the last 12 years, I have rebuilt my computer and given Darrin my old hand me downs and I am now on my 4th XP based computer.

I never upgraded to Vista when that came out because I heard nothing but horrible things about it from friends that I played EverQuest with.  When Windows 7 came out I wanted to buy the upgrade, but the upgrade adviser told me that my hardware wasn’t compatible (that was before my latest upgrades).

I tried looking for the Windows 8 upgrade adviser, but they didn’t have one.  All I could do was download the preview from the Microsoft website and try to run that to see if it gave me any clues about my hardware.  Before I did anything, I backed everything up on my backup hard drive in my computer.  I spent hours doing that because I knew something bad was going to happen if I didn’t and I was so right.

When my backups were all done, I bit the bullet and said just do it and I let Windows 8 preview install.  It took 2 hours to install before rebooting.  When I saw the new Windows logo, I got chills because I knew it had worked, but then that went away and all I had was a blank black screen.  I figured it was probably still installing, so I will give it awhile.  I gave it 2 more hours before deciding nothing was going to happen.  I rebooted it and got the Windows logo again, but this time the blank black screen was replaced with a blank blue screen.  I was overjoyed, until that blankness never got filled with words or logos, then I knew I was screwed.

I decided to run the installation again which meant going into the BIOS and making the DVD drive the first drive that runs so it runs directly from the disc, and it did.  It asked me for the code again and I thought SHIT, it’s on the desktop…  I didn’t write it down.  But, luckily it was on the website still.  WHEW!  I entered the code and thought everything would be OK  but it wasn’t.  It found my 2 hard drives and asked me which one to install it to and I chose the one that had my previous Windows installation, but it wouldn’t install.  I figured it didn’t have enough free space, so I had it format it, but it still wouldn’t install.

My only option was to put the Windows XP cd back in and install that, and I did and all was good until I installed the Router software, and then I couldn’t get my internet working.  I spent 3 hours trying to get my internet working to no avail.  I thought it was the router, but it wasn’t because I had the cable modem plugged directly into my desktop.  You don’t need a password, it’s instant on with a cable modem.  It’s like when you plug the cable into a TV, it’s instant on.  Right then I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was more screwed than a hooker who worked for free.

I didn’t know what else to do.  For some reason I thought there was something wrong with my computer, so I reformatted and reinstalled Windows XP again and it still wouldn’t connect.  I called our cable company and they transferred me over to Road Runner support and walked me through it.  He reset our connection from there, but had me unplug the power and then the coaxial cable from the box for 30 seconds and then it worked.  VICTORY!

Well, I was feeling victorious until Internet Explorer wouldn’t stay on for more than 2 seconds without crashing.  I was finally able to get it to stay on when I went into the start menu and clicked Windows Update.  Then my heart sank when Windows Update wouldn’t give me any updates.  I was able to download and install Google Chrome and the updated Linksys EasyLink Advisor to get our wi-fi back on.

I think I read somewhere that Microsoft isn’t giving any more updates to people who have Windows XP, so my only option is to find a way to get Windows 8 to install properly.  Now I am forced to upgrade which probably means a bigger hard drive.  If I am forced to upgrade, then I better get on that bigger hard drive as fast as possible, because that $40 upgrade deal expires in January 2013.

This sucks for me big time!  I hope Microsoft releases an upgrade adviser program for me to install to tell me what hardware will work by scanning my computer just like Windows 7 had.  If they had that, I wouldn’t have had to go through all this crap.  I will have to see what I can do and what I can afford to get this done.

Update: Good news, Windows Updates are downloading and installing, so I’m thankful for that.

If it isn’t one thing, it’s another…

Was My Short Story A Premonition?

I’ve been talking about this short story that I want to write for the last few days about a 9-year-old Indigo child named Henry who has a premonition about the future.  His premonition is something that actually happened to me but with some exaggeration to make it a Halloween story.

Originally it was about a boy named Henry, his parents and his brother who is 2 years older named Phillip.  I don’t know where I came up with the names, they just came to me.  I changed the story a little so the brother is a twin and I renamed him Andrew.

Here is the strange part.  Today I saw a commercial for the new CW show Ringer starring Sarah Michelle Gellar.  I wasn’t going to watch it because I normally don’t watch a show unless it has something supernatural in it but decided last minute that I would because I didn’t want to get into it 3 episodes in and have to watch the first couple episode online.

So I watched it and this is what I knew, her character is a twin, her twin “dies” and she takes her place.  Sound a little familiar?  The twin part that is.

The 2 male characters names are Henry and Andrew.  When I heard those 2 names I thought, ok this is strange because my short story is about twins named Henry and Andrew.

I came up with those names out of thin air.  Henry has a premonition in the book but is it really me who had the premonition that I would be seeing a show with twins and with characters who have those 2 names?

I decided to write this short story based on a memory from when I was 9 years old as I was remembering it when writing my autobiography.  I think it’s funny that I made the brother change and the names that are all so similar to a tv show that I wasn’t going to watch.

I am an Indigo adult and I have had many premonitions and it still freaks me out every time I have them.

Do I continue to write this short story now?

True Blood Season 4

I have been watching True Blood since the very first season in 2008.  Let’s just say that any tv show with anything that is supernatural is my cup of tea.  Well, this isn’t just any supernatural show to me, it’s an obsession.

I didn’t actually start reading the books until last year at the end of the 3rd season because I couldn’t afford to spend $60 on the book set at the book store.  It just so happened that a couple of months later I bought a Nook so I was able to buy the ebooks 1 at a time.  They were oddly still $60 for ebooks 1-8 (although I’m sure they’ve gone up by now) but I could still only afford one at a time.

I read the first one and was shocked at how different it was from the first season but kinda glad in a way because it was giving me an alternative to the story.  There were some characters and storyline that the show didn’t have and vice versa.  It was like I was watching one show while reading about an alternate dimension of the same show.

Then I read the 2nd, then the 3rd and the 4th and so on.  Well, this is the 4th season and now that I’ve already read the 4th book and I’ve seen the first few episodes, the feeling that I’m having about that alternate world has totally changed for some reason.  Now I’m thinking, hey, that person isn’t supposed to be dead, they were in the 6th book.  It’s just like how Lafayette died at the end of the first book but they kept him in the show, well, there are people being killed off who were supposed to still live in future seasons.  I wonder how they will get around all of that.

I’ve been asked if I like this new season because of how Jason is being bitten by Crystal and her fiance/brother/cousin Felton.  Well, that happened in the book.  The same with Eric losing his memory, or having them taken away from him by witches.  Those are the 2 parts of the story that were supposed to happen.

The thing with Tara sort of shocked me but it wasn’t a bad thing.  I just wasn’t expecting that to happen.

Andy being addicted to “V” really threw me for a loop.  I remember at the end of the 3rd season when he looked at the blood in the bottles and then put them away again in a hurry but I never expected him to become such an addict.

Jason becoming a cop was totally unexpected for some reason but he looks good in a cop uniform.

Bill becoming King of Louisiana and how he became the King really shocked me.  In the books he’s not the King because Sophie Anne is still the Queen but he is an authority figure, don’t ask me to remember what he does lol.

Then finally, the whole 12 1/2 month passing was kinda strange and Eric buying Sookies house.  That was totally unexpected.

Well, no matter how many changes they make, I will still be obsessed with the show and I will continue to read the books and watch future seasons.  When I am loyal to a show, I will continue to watch no matter what curve balls they throw at me.  In fact, it’s the curve balls that keep me watching so keep it up Alan Ball (get it?  curve balls… Alan Ball… no?).  Thanks for making such an awesome book into an awesome show.

Oh and did anyone notice how whenever they show someone reading a book it’s always by Charlaine Harris?  I don’t know why but I always get the chills and I wonder what book that was so I can read it.  I know she’s not reading the Sookie Stackhouse books.  Wait… she’s not right?  Just checkin’.

Official Book Club Selection

I started reading this book on October 17th and just finished reading it today.  It took me awhile to read it because it was so big but I enjoyed every minute.

I wanted to read this book not just to read all about Kathy’s life but I also wanted to read it as research for my own autobiography and it helped out a lot.  It also gave me encouragement to include a few things that I was afraid to, but not too many things.

I was touched in chapter 4 when she talked about her brothers friend sexually assaulting her, yes it was only a kiss but he was 28 and she was 13, that is sexual assault, rape and child molestation.  Then she talked about her brother almost molesting her too.  I was actually in tears throughout most of that chapter.

Then when I got to chapter 9 where she was talking about doing Suddenly Susan and talked about her co-star David Strickland I started crying because I liked him.  I heard about the drugs but I didn’t know the whole story.

When I first heard on the news that he killed himself I just remember crying because I loved him on Suddenly Susan.  When I hear that an actor who I loved killed themselves, it makes me sad and upset.  He had some pretty funny lines and he was so cute and I just couldn’t see him killing himself especially when he’s working on a TV show.  It was just really sad.

But then she got to Woz, co-founder of Apple and then she had all these emails in that chapter.  I think I fell asleep about 3 times.  I just couldn’t stay awake.  It took me longer to read that chapter than any of the other chapters.  I don’t know why she put them in there.  I mean, she could’ve just made up a story of how things progressed based on her recollection of the emails but she thought it would be better to just show them.

I was glad when the next chapter was going back to the story though.  By the time I got to the end of the book, there was an interview with Kathy from Random House.  Again, I was bored to tears.

I love Kathy Griffin to death and I was happy that I finally got to read her book.  I laughed, I cried and then I fell asleep.  Despite the boring parts, I still give her props for writing it.  She could’ve left the world in the dark but she chose to let us in on that private part and for that I thank her.

I think that if a person doesn’t like Kathy Griffin for her humor, read this book and it just might change your mind.  Maybe you might all of a sudden be able to remove the very long and very thick stick out of your ass and realize how funny she really is.

Let me tell you how D-list she really is.  I went to put in the tags for this post and let yahoo suggest tags and it didn’t even show her name as a tag.  Hello, how many times is her name listed in this post?  You would think that her name would’ve shown up in the tags.  I thought that she if anyone would appreciate the humor in that.