My plateau seems to be over

sports coats

I’ve been freaking out a bit over the last couple of weeks because last week’s weigh in was the same as 2 weeks ago, 197lbs.  Well, today was weigh in day and I weighed in at 195.2lbs.  I should have been 195lbs last week, but I guess better late than never.

So I have to wonder about a couple of things.  Like, in the beginning when I started this journey with Noom I was losing 3-4lbs per week, but then it started to slow down with 2-3lbs and then 1-2lbs etc.  The last month I have been walking and I have been eating a lot more veggies than I used to, and this last week I haven’t gone on any walks and I’ve been laying off the extra veggies and only eating the weight watchers and I lost 2lbs, well, 1.8lbs, but still.  I wonder, did walking and adding so many veggies to my diet really make a difference in my weight loss that would keep me from losing a certain amount every week?  Maybe it was the butter and margarine that I put on the veggies.

I know that a proper diet and exercise is essential to a good weight loss plan, so I’m not saying I shouldn’t be eating extra veggies and exercising.  I should be doing both, but with my back constantly hurting, it makes it difficult to want to go out for walks.  I know there are lots of exercises that I can do at home on my couch or bed or desk chair, but again, my back is in constant agony, so it makes it really difficult to want to do anything.  I mean, I want to succeed, and I feel that I am, but it’s just taking longer now lol.

I feel that I am succeeding though.  Take the picture above for example.  I just wanted to see if these 2 sports coats would fit, and they actually did.  I haven’t worn mine since 1999 when we bought them for a christening.  Well, I wore the grey one for the christening, my partner wore the tan one.  The grey one looks a little bigger than the tan one, so I’m thinking that I was a bit fatter than he was back then.  Well, they both fit me now.  I do remember that back then I was around 190-200lbs so this is about the right weight to be able to wear them, and it’s a good thing they fit me now with all the weddings I’m probably going to be attending now that same-sex marriage is now legal in California.

I wasn’t trying to look like Don Johnson from Miami Vice with my t-shirt and necklace, what you don’t see is that I was also wearing shorts lol.  I just wanted to see if they fit and I didn’t even notice how thin my face looked when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see it until I saw the pictures.  So I’m very happy with my progress.

So I hope that next week I am down to 193lbs and I hope I don’t plateau again , but if I do, that’s okay too because I am not trying to lose weight for anything or anyone in particular, I am doing this for me.

Until next week…

Another Diet

I went to the doctor’s office yesterday for my regular visit and found out how much weight I have gained. Over 20lbs.

Here’s the story for those who aren’t familiar. I was diagnosed with diabetes earlier this year when I weighed 252lbs. I went on a diet and went down to 215lbs.

Our diet wasn’t very inventive but it was good enough for me since it had protein, grains and vegetables. I had cut out all breads from our diets (mine and Chips) and my diet gave me so much energy that I was always cleaning.

One night Darrin said to me that he didn’t want to eat this anymore, you’re working too hard and it makes me feel bad. Well, I had lost 37lbs and by telling me that, he discouraged me. He started asking for pasta and for other things and next thing you know, he’s buying cookies and donuts.

I started gaining weight again and before I knew it I was losing all of my energy and becoming lazy again. Now, I’m 239 according to the doctor’s office. The doctor said 20lbs but that’s according to where it says 218 in my chart.

What happened was, I was 218 then went to the doctors then lost more weight and before my next visit I had already gone back up to 218 because of Darrin not wanting to continue the diet. Then I just kept gaining more and more weight.

So now that he has a job, he can’t tell me what I can make for him for dinner or to not clean and I’m going to tell him flat-out that he needs to just let me do what I’m gonna do to help us lose weight. I can’t keep up with this yo-yo dieting. I have to lose this weight.

I’ve already started cooking vegetables for dinner again so when Darrin comes home from work he has a balanced dinner to eat before he collapses on the couch for the evening. I’m going to get off my M&M’s binge and stop eating sugar and breads altogether again. I can do this, I know I can.

I have a feeling I will be hosting Thanksgiving this year which means I gotta get this house clean lol. In order to do that, I need to eat balanced meals to give me the energy. I just drank a Red Bull to give me the energy to mop the kitchen floor which takes all of about 10 minutes to do lol.

You know your energy levels are at 0 when you can’t even do the simplest chores such as mopping the floor. I seriously don’t know how I cleaned the bathroom and living room last week.

If I am hosting Thanksgiving this year then I have a lot of work to do to get this house up to snuff. I’m sure I can do it all by myself… UGH! I’m gonna need a LOT of Red Bull. I wish I had the money to hire a housekeeper a couple of days before they arrive to make damn sure this house is spic n span.

Ultimatums Suck

Has anyone ever given you an ultimatum or have you given anyone an ultimatum? They are not fair. There are certain times when it is ok to give someone an ultimatum like when a husband is drinking, gambling, cheating etc. But family members should never give you an ultimatum to choose your lover over them.

When I was 17 years old, my mother gave me an ultimatum. Leave my boyfriend Robert out in the cold in a strange city without anywhere to sleep and without any transportation back home or choose her and continue living at home. The choice was obvious. I would rather be homeless myself than let a deaf person wait outside for me to never return to help him find a place to sleep for the night. He was DEAF!

How cold-hearted are you to allow any human being to be homeless for the night until they can catch the bus in the morning back home?  I told her to at least let me call his mom to pick him up and she said no, let him freeze.  What a cold-hearted bitch!  I hate saying that about my own mother, rest her soul, but that’s how I feel.

It was 1987 and he couldn’t call his mother on a cell phone and speak sign language with a video call like you can do today. He had to use a TTY which by the way was at his house in Simi Valley. He took the bus to see me after 2 years of not seeing me and waited until the last-minute after the last bus had left for the day so he was stranded without any way of getting home. I asked a co-worker who lived down the street from me if he could stay with her on her couch and she said yes, I just had to bring him there. He was out of cigarettes so I went back to my house to get him a pack and that’s when my mother cornered me and gave me the ultimatum and that’s the night I became homeless.

My cousin just called me and he went to visit his sister in another state with his wife. His wife is 15 years older than he is and because some people don’t approve of such age differences, she was treated like crap. His sister gave him an ultimatum. His wife or his sister. That’s not fair. You know? You can’t make someone make that decision especially when they are married. What if he did choose his sister? What then? Is she going to take him in? No, she’s not. So now that he has chosen you, he’s going to be homeless all because you made him choose you over the love of his life.

Why do that? Why not just suck it up? You don’t even live in the same state, just deal with it. She is the person he chose to be with so live with it. It’s not your decision, it’s his.

I am in a relationship with someone who is 21 years older than me. You know what my sister said to him when she first met him? “How old are you?” And she didn’t ask it nicely either, she had this disapproving tone in her voice. It’s like, who asked you for your opinion? It’s none of your business. This is who I chose to be with so deal with it.

I think if someone is coward enough to make this type of ultimatum then they deserve it when they are the one being rejected. If someone gave me an ultimatum I am going to choose the person they are making me leave for them. There is no doubt in my mind that I would tell them to go to hell just as I told my mom.

Deadly Pet Toys

We got our Toy Chihuahua last year so we’ve had her for maybe a year and 2 months.  When we first got her we went to PetSmart and bought her this little toy that is a green frog with a squeaker inside of it.  She loves that frog.  She’s always playing with it and her favorite thing is to bite down on the squeaker to make it squeak.

She’s chewed the hell out of that frog and she’s even torn the fabric so that she was able to access the squeaker and she chewed the tip of it off.  This was like 6 months or so ago.  I took the squeaker out and threw it away when I realized what she had one.

About a month ago I found the spare squeaker that came with the frog and there is an access in the back of the frog with Velcro so you can remove the one inside and replace it.  Well, even though she chewed the hell out of the stomach it didn’t occur to me that she might try to chew the spare squeaker the same way.  I don’t know why.  I forgot that she did it to the first one so it didn’t really occur to me to not put the second one in there.

Today Darrin was laying on the couch talking to his brother on the phone and our dog Flower was laying next to his feet just going to town on this frog.  I saw how passionate she was chewing on this thing and it didn’t occur to me that she might have been chewing the tip of the squeaker.

Darrin got off the phone and I noticed that she was clawing at her face.  I went over to her and picked up the frog and she didn’t try to get it back, she was still clawing at her face.  She had this look of horror in her eyes.  I could tell she was in trouble but I didn’t know what to do.  I looked at the squeaker and the tip was gone.  The part that makes the squeaking sound was laying on the couch where she was laying all by itself next to the frog and I realized she was choking on something.

I put my finger in her mouth and I could feel it in her throat but I couldn’t get at it.  I accidentally pushed it in her throat and she was struggling still.  I knew she couldn’t breathe at all.  I told Darrin to blow inside her mouth to help her out but he didn’t know what I meant.  He put his lips up to her mouth and blew on them, I grabbed her and put her entire snout into my mouth and just blew and then chip squeezed her chest and you could hear a popping sound, the plastic piece shot out of her mouth and fell onto the floor.

OMFG!!!  I was in total panic mode, I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know what I was doing when I blew in her mouth, I thought I was helping her but at the same time I would’ve been hurting her.  If it weren’t for Darrin squeezing her chest she would’ve been dead.

I immediately threw the frog away and took a picture of the squeaker.  You can see in the picture the piece that she had stuck in her throat, it’s the thing that the arrow is pointing to.

squeeker

I can only imagine what might have happened if we weren’t home to see this happening, what we might have walked in on one day.  I might have been on my bike ride and come home to find a dead toy chihuahua laying on the living room floor or on the couch.  Or we might come home from the movies or from going out to dinner.  I will never ever buy another toy with one of these things in it ever again.  And if I find a toy that has one, I’m going to take it out first.

My aunt Louise takes them out.  When I went to visit her for Christmas in Texas someone bought her dogs some toys and she took the squeakers out but I didn’t know why, now I know.  They are killers.  But her dogs are a lot bigger than mine, like Golden Retriever sized dogs.  Our dog is smaller than a cat.  Like half the size of a cat.  I never even imagined this would happen but now I do and I’ve learned from it.

Tom Cruise on The View

This morning I wake up (late) and go into the living room and the view is on the tv set.  Now normally I’d go back in my room and get on the computer or something because I don’t normally sit and watch this show.  Rosie ruined it for me frankly.  And it’s a chick show.

But I sat there and they announced Tom Cruise.  Now normally I would get up and go into the other room if I heard his name but I sat there and watched.  This is the Tom Cruise that I like and have missed for such a long time.  He wasn’t outrageous, he didn’t jump on a couch or call Barbara Walters Glib.  He did the interview the way he should have by answering questions.

If he keeps this good behavior up he just might get back into the good graces of people and they might start paying to see his movies again.

They asked him about Jett Travolta about medication and seeing a doctor and he said that it simply isn’t true, in fact it’s the opposite, yes the scientologists take their kids to the doctor and get them medication for whatever illness they have.  His whole thing with Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer was that “he” doesn’t believe in psychiatry or something.  But that was probably his belief and not Scientology.  He was basically speechless about Jett’s death.

He finished the show and he was just perfect in this interview, just perfect.  Good for him and I hope things work out for him.

Ghost Hunters

Wow, tonight’s Ghost Hunter’s episode was really good. They caught 2 EVP’s that were really good. Well 3 actually but one of them wasn’t speaking English, you couldn’t understand what he was saying. The woman who owned the building said it sounds like Polish to her. The other voices which was in the attic sounded like he was saying “We want” but they think it was saying “What do you want?” which makes a lot more sense. I think he was saying what do you really fast so it sounded like we. Then Tango was up in the attic and he was basically cussing the ghost out and you could hear when Tango took a breath a voice that said “Leave me alone”. Awesome.

I’ve always believed in ghosts no matter what people say back to me. When I was a kid I used to see my grandmother Mimi or so I thought it might be her. I don’t know for sure what it was. And ever since we’ve been in Bakersfield I’ve been feeling what seems to be a cat jumping up on either the couch and my bed. I’m not afraid of a cat ghost because I know that cats are innocent creatures and they don’t have any evil inside them. Dogs are different though. Take Cujo for example hehe.

Beverly Hills

Well Darrin had a design job today and so we drove to Beverly Hills (I was the navigator with my GPS on my laptop).

I was sitting in the car with Flower while he was doing his job by looking at the rooms that he is going to be designing. I didn’t want to take the focus away from him by being there especially with Flower and I heard a dog barking so I figured staying in the car was the best course of action. I was wrong.

This woman whose house we were parked in front of was getting paranoid. Well, who could blame her, its million dollar mansions in Beverly Hills. She called AAA because I guess 1 of her cars wasn’t starting and she came up to the car and I rolled down the window and she was all “how long are you going to be here?” and I said that the person I’m here with is a designer and he’s across the street and I was asked to stay in the car.

She walked away but I was so uncomfortable being in the car so I just came up to the house and rang the doorbell and they let me in. I sat on the couch while Darrin was telling them what he was going to do blah blah blah. Of course the focus was then on me and Flower lol.

Anyway, it’s good he has a design job. No painting WOOT! Hehe.

Update: They decided not to do it with Darrin after all and we wasted $60 on gas to get down there for nothing.  Darrin asked to be compensated for the gas and his time but they refused.