How I Beat Insomnia

insomnia

Insomnia sucks. You lie in bed in a dark silent room with your eyes closed hoping to drift off to sleep, but all you can think about is new ways to beat the bad guys in your favorite video game, or how you would design your tiny house layout. Maybe you are thinking of something that someone said and it is bugging the heck out of you. Perhaps you are having flashbacks of a time when you were treated poorly by someone or a group of people. Or fill in the blanks.

That’s been my problem for several years. I remember a time when I could barely keep my eyes open after midnight when Ghost Hunters was doing a live ghost hunt on Halloween, but for the last few years, staying up past midnight was a non issue. In fact, I was lucky if I was going to bed by 5am. Insomnia has been awful for me for a very long time. I was taking Ambien for more than 10 years, then the insurance stopped paying for it, or any other sleeping pills for that matter. I’ve been buying over the counter sleeping pills. Your body becomes immune after taking so many sleeping pills. One of my doctors told me to take Benadryl, and I did, but that too stopped making me sleep. I thought about buying NyQuil, but that can get expensive.

So how did I beat insomnia? I bought a FitBit earlier this year, and it has an alarm on it that vibrates to wake you up. I decided to start using it, so I would set the alarm for 8am. The first couple of days I would wake up and 8am, but press the button and go back to sleep. Then I decided to get up at 8am, but by 10am I was sleepy again, so I would take a nap. I tried staying awake as long as I could, and try as I might I would still fall asleep after noon around 1pm or 2pm. I tried my best to stay awake, so when I would find myself drifting off to sleep, I would sit up and drink something cold and get up and walk around. Sometimes I would get in the shower because washing your body usually wakes you up.

It might have taken me 2 weeks to finally get to the point where even though the alarm is set for 8am, I wake up at 6am. Of course I try to go back to sleep and wake up at 8, but there are days where I’m so awake that I just can’t possibly go back to sleep, so I just get up. Now when I’m watching my shows at night, I’ll start drifting off to sleep at like 9 or 10pm and I’m asleep all night until 6 or 8am. No more sleeping pills.

We have a new doctor who is Hindu and he told me I could try meditation and I have tried meditation in the past, but I’ve gotten to the point where it just puts me to sleep. I mean like during the day. I think trying to meditate at night when you are trying to fall asleep is a great idea, but I don’t need to meditate to fall asleep anymore since my body has gotten used to calling it a day by 9pm. So I don’t need medication, nor do I need meditation to sleep.

It’s a wonderful feeling when you are able to fall asleep at a decent hour, despite the fact that I don’t have a job to go to in the morning.

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Experiencing side effects of new a drug

Hydroxyzine

I’ve been having trouble sleeping for a long time. Sleeping pills are useless because I’ll take them at 11pm or Midnight and I’m still up until 3 to 5am, and even then I’m still not tired. I blogged about my chronic insomnia the other day, well, I hadn’t started taking the new meds yet, and now I have.

So this is what it says on Google…

image

The doctor prescribed this medication to me because it is non-addictive. I have allergies, but this is not why I am taking it, but perhaps it will help where the claritin hasn’t helped. I am taking this for insomnia, but it doesn’t say that in this description, but it does say one of the possible side effects is Somnolence, which I am definitely experiencing, so if he gave it to me for that side effect to help me sleep, then it’s working.

I’m sorry, but let’s be real with one another right now. I’m having trouble concentrating. I’ve hit the backspace button about 100 times already deleting whole sentences and paragraphs because I just can’t seem to word anything right, or correctly, or… ugh… I find that I am typing, then I stop and stare at the monitor for a few minutes trying to think of what next to say, but it’s like I’m lost, like what am I doing right now? It took me like 10 minutes to even start the first sentence. Another side effect? I’ve been walking at a snails pace throughout the house like I’m doped up. I was watching The Originals on the CW and was falling asleep throughout. It’s a good thing I recorded it on the DVR because I’ll definitely have to watch it again when I can stay awake.

I haven’t been experiencing headaches, but one feels like it is coming on. One other thing I’ve been experiencing is pain in my arms and shoulder. I’ve had this pain caused from the way I sit while playing video games with my PS4 game controller, but the pain hasn’t been bothering me until now, and now it seems like it has been intensified.

So the side effects are somnolence, dizziness, existing pain being intensified, and I feel drugged up. I’m sure the side effects will start to subside when I am more used to taking this medication.

Honestly my brain is dead right now and I don’t even know what else to write so tootles!

Chronic Insomnia

WWS-Insomnia

I don’t know why, but I have suffered from chronic insomnia for at least 21 years. When I was in the hospital way back in 1994 with Pneumocystis pneumonia, I wasn’t taking any HIV medications. The doctor’s told me that I didn’t need to take any medication, so I didn’t take any until I was in the hospital. After I got out of the hospital, I started going to a HIV clinic in downtown Los Angeles. The medication was fine, but I started noticing that I couldn’t sleep very well at night, so when I was at one of my appointments, the doctor asked if I was having trouble sleeping and asked if I wanted sleeping pills, so I said yes.

The doctor gave me a medicine called Trazodone which I took for several years until one morning I woke up with an erection, which is usually common with men, but the erection would not go away. After several hours I decided it was time to visit the emergency room, and they had to inject something into my ass to make the erection go away. It was so embarrassing having to go to the emergency room, and the doctors snickering and gathering around me to look at my erection added to the embarrassment. I told my doctor about it and he told me to stop taking it, but didn’t give me a new prescription, and I was having trouble sleeping again, so I took it once more and it happened again and I had to go back to the emergency room. After that I tossed them in the trash.

After Trazodone, the doctor gave me Ambien which was a miracle for a very long time, but then gradually it stopped working for me. I was on Ambien for too many years, and I think my body built up a tolerance, so I would take it and it would be like 3am and I was still awake. I started eating when I took it, like a banana or toast or something, and that worked for a long time, but eventually that stopped working as well. Last year my insurance stopped paying for Ambien, so the pharmacy didn’t include it with the rest of my medication without any explanation. I assumed the new doctor didn’t want me to take it, but I found out it was the insurance company.

Last month I told the new doctor about my insomnia and the first thing he suggested was Trazodone, which I had to tell him that that medication is not good for me. He gave me Amitriptyline which he said was Elavil. My partner used to take Elavil and that stuff was potent. I would take it, but it would leave me groggy in the morning. He only gave me 25mg and they were tiny green pills as opposed to the big red pills that my partner used to get, but the Elavil 25mg tabs didn’t do a damn thing for me. I took that all month long and I was still awake until 3, 4 or 5am.

We just went to the doctor again yesterday and he gave me something else called Hydroxyzine. I told him about the depression and the anxiety caused from the flashbacks of my childhood and he said this should help out with my PTSD, but as far as it being a sleeping pill, it doesn’t work. It is a antihistamine, so that’s why he gave it to me. I’m supposed to take this one every 6 hours, which is odd, but whatever. I took it last night and was up until 5am and I ended up drinking some Zzzquil to help me get to sleep. I use that out of desperation.

Today I’ve slept the entire day away.  I don’t know if it was because of the Zzzquil or if it was that combined with the new medicine, but I just did not want to wake up. I woke up several times, got on the computer, took the dog out, but then went back to bed. As soon as I finish writing, reading and editing this, I’m thinking I’m just going to go back to bed. I hope I can sleep until morning.

I just hope that I can find something that will help me sleep because I absolutely hate staying awake so late and waking up around noon or 2pm. Although, I think in the summer it might be to my advantage because I can just sleep the heat of the day away.

Dreamland Crocotta by Karl Pfeiffer

If you are a fan of Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters Academy, then you are familiar with GHA season 1 winner Karl Pfeiffer.  He’s not just a famous TV personality but he’s also a writer.  He has written this short story called Dreamland Crocotta.

I didn’t know that he was a writer until he mentioned it on Twitter.  I found his book in the Nook store by searching for his name and he confirmed that this was his book.  It was only $1.99 but well worth the price for the 19 pages that it has.  It seems to only be in e-book format but sold on many different websites.

He used Smashbook to publish it but it’s sold on the Barnes & Noble website (through the Nook or the website), Kobo books (for the Kobo Reader) as well as the Diesel eBooks website.  If you have a Kindle, you might be out of luck as far as buying it through the Kindle store but you might be able to convert it to Kindle format in Calibre.

Synopsis:

“A short story. Overcome by insomnia and depression, Mitch Haloa passes his days alone in his neglected home until he begins speaking to a mysterious voice that creeps within the forest behind his house; A voice that soon haunts his every thought, that prods at the cracks in his already fragile reality; that calls for Mitch to lose himself, to leave one darkness in favor of another…”

It is listed in these categories: creature, dark, horror, insomnia, paranormal, psychological

It is pretty dark but as you read it more you will begin to understand Mitch’s plight, why he is so depressed and why he is hearing voices in the forest behind his house.  You will start to understand a little better why his life has turned in this dark direction.  It may be a short story but it is worth the read.  I applaud Karl on his efforts and look forward to more of his short (or long) stories.

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On a side note, Karl is who got me into wanting to learn how to make those Hemp beaded chokers.  When I first saw him on Ghost Hunters Academy I saw his choker and thought it was so cool.  It wasn’t until he was on Ghost Hunters International that I remembered his chocker.  That night I got on Google and started researching them; what they are called and where to buy them.

I found out that they were hemp and macramé so I started researching that too.  I went to several different websites with macramé patterns until I found a similar necklace.  Then we went to Michael’s where I spent nearly a fortune on hemp and beads trying to recreate his.  Although, it was nearly impossible since I had already forgotten what his looked like, I ended up making my own design.  I also learned how to make the rings and bracelets.  Pretty soon I started looking like a hippy with all my hemp jewelry on.  What I was missing was my tie dye t-shirt and my bald man hippy long hair in the back.

Anyway, I want to thank Karl for broadening my [craft] horizons by wearing his choker on Ghost Hunters lol.  If it wasn’t for him, I probably would’ve never had an interest in adding Macramé to my list of crafts that I do.

Kathy Griffin Has Inspired Me

I knew that if I read Kathy Griffin’s autobiography about her life that I would learn a thing or two about how to write an autobiography.

Sure, I could’ve chosen to read a book from someone who was gay bashed by bullies and their own parents (which is the main focus of this book) but well, frankly, I couldn’t find any.  And actually, Kathy’s book is the perfect choice because she was bullied in school and she was almost molested like me.  Although our situations are different, their not too far apart.

In fact, they are pretty much the same except she was only kissed by a 28-year-old when she was 13, I was lead around the house with my balls being held onto tightly when I was 15 before being tongue raped by a 50 something year old ex-prostitute woman who was my mothers best friend.  Great, I just told you the whole story, now what incentive do you have to read my book?

Well, it’s not the only story but at any rate, she has given me more confidence in the way to structure my paragraphs and even adding pictures and other graphics.  Although, I won’t be using a tiara.  Maybe…

I haven’t finished her book yet but I have two-thirds of the book to go.  It’s a very interesting read if you get a chance to pick up a copy or buy an e-book version of it.  Even if you don’t like her you will find her book easy to read, heart breaking and hilarious all at the same time.  I laughed, I cried, I screamed in pain because I passed a kidney stone while reading.  Ok that last part wasn’t true but I did cry for her pain and I laughed at her jokes.

So now that I’m inspired by her writing, even though I’m not finished with her book I feel more comfortable to continue writing at night which is usually when I have more energy to write since I have insomnia.  Why I get energy late at night I have no idea.  It just happens that way.