Memories Are Like A Puzzle

When I started writing my autobiography I thought it was going to be a breeze.  I just start typing and let the memories flow through and I would be finished in no time.  WRONG!

Having to remember what happened when so many things happened in a single year is like putting together a puzzle with pieces from 20 puzzles mixed together.  Before writing it out, I have to put down time lines on paper.  There are certain things that happened that are so wrong though.  I know they happened but how did they happen at all?

Example: I remember coming home drunk during my sisters birthday party in a specific apartment that we lived in.  I remember my bedroom was in a partitioned part of the living room and I remember plopping down on my bed drunk.  But, it’s impossible because during that time when my sister had that birthday party I wasn’t living with them anymore, I had been kicked out of the house.

That memory is impossible.  It couldn’t have happened during her birthday so I have to assume that it wasn’t her birthday but maybe a summer party instead.

I have to place the wrong puzzle piece in the wrong slot and hope that nobody notices that it’s wrong.  Does that make it fiction then if I make up what happened or is something I should just leave out entirely?  The problem is, it is an integral part of the story since I was 17 years old when it happened.  I’m trying to make a point about teenage alcohol abuse so I have to leave it in the story line.

Another example: I lived in so many different places in a few years but each memory seems like it took years to create but I now know that it was all during 1988-90.  The problem that I face is trying to figure out where I lived and worked and when.  If I watched tv during those times it would be so much easier to remember when I lived there because I could remember what happened in that season of the show.

I do remember living with my parents when the show Roseanne first aired and watching the series premiere with my mom and a few episodes after that but that was the only show I remember watching that was new.

Now I wish I had watched more tv when I was younger.  I wish I had carried a diary or made a resume.  At least if I had a resume I would know where I worked throughout my life, that way I could remember where I lived and what happened.  But nooo….

Oh well, I’m sure it will all come to me eventually.  It is not going to be easy to write this book and I know it’s going to take some time to do.

Bright House Cable Upgrade

A week ago I got in the mail a letter from our cable company “Bright House Cable” saying they are going to be making some changes to the system and to keep an eye out or something.  I don’t have it anymore and I don’t remember what it said.

Yesterday a 1-800 number called and I let the machine pick it up and it was Bright House calling.  It was a recording and I let the machine record it but before it hung up I picked up the phone to hear the rest of the message.  It said that it was going to be upgrading 1 of our cable boxes.  It didn’t say which one, just that 1 of our boxes is going to get the upgrade and the other one will get it in a few weeks.

It was the one in the living room and I am so glad that it was that one and not the one in my bedroom because Darrin would never let me live that down lol.  I have an HD box in my room even though I don’t have an HD tv set.  The cable company gave me the wrong one but I insisted that I’m going to be upgrading my tv anyway (which was a lie) so let me keep it lol.  I said that because some of the HD channels are eastern time zone and I like being able to see the shows 3 hours earlier so that I can watch my network shows when they come on at 8 and 9pm.

One of the reasons why I couldn’t watch Ghost Hunters many years ago was because the new episode always came on at the same time as one of my shows at 9pm but I didn’t know then that they repeat it at 11 lol.  Duh!  But that’s ok, I like to watch the new episode at 6pm even though I don’t have any other Wednesday night shows.  I get to watch the new episodes 4 times, 6pm and 8pm on SyFyHD and 9pm and 11pm on regular SyFy lol.

So I still have to wait a week to 3 weeks for my upgrade.  I was just looking at it and it’s not all that different.  Ok yes it’s really different but it’s not better.  It’s just eye candy is all.  I will record on my dvd recorder what it looks like normal then when I get the upgrade record it with the upgrade and put it on YouTube lol.

Weider Total Body Works 5000

I bought this home gym from the Wal-Mart website a couple of years ago called the Weider Total Body Works 5000 and at the time it was $99.  I forgot how much the shipping was though.  But I just went to do a search on that particular brand that I have to see if there was any new information such as blogs or instructional videos or whatever to give me more of an insight into this gym which houses more dust and spider webs that it should and I find that they dramatically raised the price to $174.  It looks like I bought it just in the nick of time.

My friend Sue calls it my Weider Total Towel Rack 5000 lol.  My aunt Betty has a treadmill in her living room and when I was there the last time it was folded it and it actually did have towels hanging on it lol.  I had to joke with her about that.

Busy Day For Me

I hadn’t planned on doing anything today, just resting my legs for tomorrows bike ride but then something came up.

Our new tenants are moving in tomorrow and there isn’t very much that Darrin can do over at the little house because of his job.  So, he had me go to buy some keys for the new tenants, 2 copies of 4 keys.  That’s fine, I was going to take the bus but I decided to ride my bike instead so I got some exercise in today.

But then he dropped the bomb on me.  Our shed is filled with boxes and furniture.  Well, the new tenants want to use the Shed and Darrin told me that he told them that we have our stuff in it.  I told him in all fairness that shed does belong to that rental so they should be able to use it.  Me and my big mouth.

So, today (right after I click the publish button) I gotta go put our stuff from the patio inside the house then hose the patio and hose our back yard too because our lovely neighbor blew all of our dead leaves from our grapefruit tree all over the place to make a big giant pile for me to shovel into the green cans.  I guess I appreciate it but I would’ve liked it if he didn’t get all the dust and dirt all over my back yard.  Anyway, off topic hehe.  I have to hose our patio and back yard.

While the patio and back yard are both drying I gotta move a piece of furniture from the living room to the bedroom (it’s a dresser and there was a dresser taken out of the bedroom so this is just going to be put in its place.  Then I gotta start carrying the boxes from the shed to our patio which is the space between the house and the garage.

Once all the boxes and furniture is in our patio then I gotta start pulling the stuff out of the garage and going through boxes to see if we need any of that stuff then start stacking boxes from the shed in the garage with our other boxes.  UGH!

I just ate a Tigers Milk energy bar so that should give me a little bit of energy.  Plus I got some coffee already brewed and waiting for me.  I’m taking this time to blog to rest my legs from that bike ride to the mall and back before I start this BS mission lol.

Distractions

How is it that some people can read like the newspaper or a magazine with the TV on and people talking nearby?  I don’t read the newspaper because it’s just too much information to read.  I’d rather watch the news to know what’s happening in the world.  I can barely type this without having to look at the TV.

Darrin can sit there reading the newspaper with the news on the TV lol.  I try to read my book and every little noise distracts me.  If there is no noise then the silence is deafening and that is distracting.

I have ADHD so every little thing distracts me.  I am able to read a book if I try hard enough to ignore all the little things but it’s hard.  Especially when the ice cream truck goes by.  The whole time I was reading the Harry Potter novels I was so into them that I was able to ignore noises but there came a point that I had to buy all the Harry Potter soundtracks and it made reading easier.  I would try to hum the main titles in my head while reading, it would help me but I had to buy the soundtrack so I wouldn’t have to think lol.

I’m reading The Source of Magic which is the 2nd book in the Xanth series and I had to go outside today to read it because the TV in the living room was just too loud and the lighting in my room sucks so bad but then it started to sprinkle.  Yeah I was under a roof but the rain drops were coming down so hard on the fiberglass roof it was too DISTRACTING!  LOL

Fractured Toe

fractured-toeIf you’ve ever broken a toe before you already know that they can’t do anything for you.  I don’t know why but they can’t fix toes, I guess they are too little and too insignificant to fix.  They serve no purpose other than being stinky.

Most people who know me and saw me growing up already know I have a depth perception issue.  When I would go to walk through a doorway as a child, I’d see the doorway in my line of sight but as I got to it I’d end up hitting wall.  I don’t know why.  My eyes are a tad bit crossed so I see 2 of everything but it’s not that much to worry about.  I do get tunnel vision without my glasses so I normally should have them on at all times but sometimes my vanity doesn’t allow it so I take them off and walk into walls hehe.

Yesterday I was in the living room and I was walking very fast to my bedroom and my right foot slammed into the door jamb.  I don’t know why, I was centered with the door frame so there was no reason for it, it just happened lol.  I screamed and dropped the f bomb a couple of times and then laughed while I was sitting on my bed.  The pain slowly went away and I thought all was good until I went to the doctor today (routine visit) and said oh by the way, I think I broke my toe.  He said that it’s probably just fractured, it’s still straight but because it is so badly bruised I’ve just fractured it.  Fracturing can make the blood rush to that spot and it looks bruised.

As a child I never bruised at all, you could punch me in the face (and I was) and I wouldn’t bruise at all, or if I did it wouldn’t last very long.  This one time I was visiting my Aunt Joyce in Palmdale, CA and I went to reach for my towel which was on the bathroom counter and I didn’t want to get out and get the floor wet so I grabbed the towel rack to keep me from falling so I could reach for the towel but the aluminum towel rack bar came right off the brackets and even one of the brackets fell to the floor, I fell on the shower door track.  I had a giant bruise from my arm pit to my leg on my right side.  I showed my Aunt Joyce and it had faded 50% by that time.  Within 5 more minutes it was completely gone.

I had to tell you that so you would understand that I don’t bruise so the bruise on my toe must mean that it’s really bad.

Student Bunk Bed

LOL I have to laugh because I have this fantasy that I have a bunk bed with a desk in my bedroom.  I’m 38 years old going on 12.  I just don’t feel 38 for some reason.  I want to have posters of singers on my walls and I want to have a bunk bed and sleep on the top bunk.  This is the first time I’ve had my own bedroom, and I really mean that.  When I was a kid I either shared a room with my older sister or when we lived in Reseda my bedroom was a walk-in closet and when we were in Sepulveda my bed was in the living room.  I never really had my own bedroom.

When I was living with my sister I had to sleep on the couch in the living room.  I did move back in with my parents when I was 18 and I had my own bedroom but that was short-lived, I’ve had my own room many times but for a short period of time.  I don’t count the times I’ve lived in motels as having my own room cause that’s all it was, a bedroom.  When I’ve been in relationships I don’t consider the room being mine because it was shared with the person I was with who always had the design decision.

I didn’t have a very good childhood and so I’m reclaiming it and I just don’t feel 38.  I feel like a pre-teen with my bike and my video games and stuff.  My bedroom here in Bakersfield is a really small room, I don’t have any room to walk around or do anything.  If I had a Nintendo Wii system I wouldn’t be able to play games very effectively because I have no room to move in here.  My desk is so huge too which isn’t bad, I actually like my desk.  It’s a corner desk and it’s right next to my tv so I can watch tv while typing (as I am doing now).

Darrin is about to start working (keep your fingers crossed) at Mor furniture for less and they have these bunk beds (in the children’s section lol) and one of them I really like.  It has a desk on the side and it has a top bunk bed then it has a bottom bed that sticks out and it’s really neat because it has shelves inside there and a dresser which I don’t currently have.  I’m using Rubbermaid drawers for my socks and underwear and I have to fold and put my t-shirts in the linen closet.  So this would be perfect for shirts at least.  Here is a picture.  The only problem is it’s $800 lol.

deskbunkBonanza Student Bunk

$799.99

“Your children will have their sights set on the Bonanza Student Bunk Bedroom collection. Functional and fun, this solid pine package features space-saving design with plenty of desk and bookshelf space. This collection includes bunk bed, and desk with hutch. (Chair not included.)”

I’ve never slept on the top bunk before but at the same time my BiPap machine would be perfect on one of those shelves on the bottom bunk.  But I think that at 230lbs, I’d be better off on the bottom bunk don’t you think?

Broken Rocker

Well it finally happened.  I broke a chair.  Actually it has happened before.  It’s an old chair so leave me alone lol.  This chair that was in Chips moms room that she’s had for a long time, when she passed away we put it in the living room.  It’s not a rocking chair, it’s a regular chair that rocks.  A rocking chair would be all wood, this has fabric and springs etc.

What makes the chair rock are these 2 giant springs that are attached to 2 pieces of wood at the bottom of the chair and the springs are also attached to the chair.  Well, a year ago the springs broke where it’s welded, 1 spring broke and we asked our neighbor Dan who worked in a shop if he would re-weld it for us because that’s what he does.  So he did and then the other spring broke in the same way and so he fixed that too.  Well, it didn’t take long before one of them broke again but we never had him fix it a 2nd time.  The other spring just broke at the weld again so we’re retiring that chair lol.

I’m just too heavy to be able to sit in an old chair and rock it.  If it were a new(ish) chair like a recliner chair then I’m sure it would be a lot better.  This one made so many noises when I would rock in it, like squeaking sounds, you know because the springs needed oil or something.  I’ve sprayed WD-40 on them and they didn’t stop squeaking.  But I’ve sat in recliner chairs at the furniture stores and they never squeaked.

I would love to get a new chair but I just can’t afford it, even a used one.  So, I moved the rocking chair and put a regular chair in its place so now no more rocking hehe.  Oh well.

Tom Cruise on The View

This morning I wake up (late) and go into the living room and the view is on the tv set.  Now normally I’d go back in my room and get on the computer or something because I don’t normally sit and watch this show.  Rosie ruined it for me frankly.  And it’s a chick show.

But I sat there and they announced Tom Cruise.  Now normally I would get up and go into the other room if I heard his name but I sat there and watched.  This is the Tom Cruise that I like and have missed for such a long time.  He wasn’t outrageous, he didn’t jump on a couch or call Barbara Walters Glib.  He did the interview the way he should have by answering questions.

If he keeps this good behavior up he just might get back into the good graces of people and they might start paying to see his movies again.

They asked him about Jett Travolta about medication and seeing a doctor and he said that it simply isn’t true, in fact it’s the opposite, yes the scientologists take their kids to the doctor and get them medication for whatever illness they have.  His whole thing with Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer was that “he” doesn’t believe in psychiatry or something.  But that was probably his belief and not Scientology.  He was basically speechless about Jett’s death.

He finished the show and he was just perfect in this interview, just perfect.  Good for him and I hope things work out for him.