When I started writing my autobiography I thought it was going to be a breeze.  I just start typing and let the memories flow through and I would be finished in no time.  WRONG!

Having to remember what happened when so many things happened in a single year is like putting together a puzzle with pieces from 20 puzzles mixed together.  Before writing it out, I have to put down time lines on paper.  There are certain things that happened that are so wrong though.  I know they happened but how did they happen at all?

Example: I remember coming home drunk during my sisters birthday party in a specific apartment that we lived in.  I remember my bedroom was in a partitioned part of the living room and I remember plopping down on my bed drunk.  But, it’s impossible because during that time when my sister had that birthday party I wasn’t living with them anymore, I had been kicked out of the house.

That memory is impossible.  It couldn’t have happened during her birthday so I have to assume that it wasn’t her birthday but maybe a summer party instead.

I have to place the wrong puzzle piece in the wrong slot and hope that nobody notices that it’s wrong.  Does that make it fiction then if I make up what happened or is something I should just leave out entirely?  The problem is, it is an integral part of the story since I was 17 years old when it happened.  I’m trying to make a point about teenage alcohol abuse so I have to leave it in the story line.

Another example: I lived in so many different places in a few years but each memory seems like it took years to create but I now know that it was all during 1988-90.  The problem that I face is trying to figure out where I lived and worked and when.  If I watched tv during those times it would be so much easier to remember when I lived there because I could remember what happened in that season of the show.

I do remember living with my parents when the show Roseanne first aired and watching the series premiere with my mom and a few episodes after that but that was the only show I remember watching that was new.

Now I wish I had watched more tv when I was younger.  I wish I had carried a diary or made a resume.  At least if I had a resume I would know where I worked throughout my life, that way I could remember where I lived and what happened.  But nooo….

Oh well, I’m sure it will all come to me eventually.  It is not going to be easy to write this book and I know it’s going to take some time to do.