My New Motherboard

I have been having the worst computer luck lately.  First my video card stops working so I bought a new one from Tiger Direct which took a week to get to me.

When I installed it, it didn’t work right away.  I turned it off then back on again and it still didn’t come on.  I had my hands in my face then I looked up and it came on.  It took a couple of minutes but it did come on.

I installed the software for the new video card and it needed to reboot and it rebooted fast enough so I thought, ok, it just needed time to read the new hardware.

I experimented with it to see what would happen if I shut it down all the way and I waited about 10 minutes.  I turned it back on and it didn’t want to come on.  It did finally come on a couple of minutes later but I figured, the only way that I am able to keep my computer working is if I NEVER EVER turn it off.

Then I get a notice from the PG&E telling me they are shutting our power off to put in a new pole…  CRAP!

My computer didn’t want to turn on again and I did some research and found out it was because my power supply wasn’t good enough for my new video card.  I had to wait a month to buy a new power supply because I didn’t have the money.  When I bought it on NewEgg, it arrived the next day and it still didn’t turn my computer on.

It did come on once but it told me to reset the bios which I did and it still didn’t want to work.  SHIT!

I did more research and found out that I needed a new motherboard.  I borrowed some money last night because I just want my stupid computer to work again.  I bought it from NewEgg because I get it the next day unlike Tiger Direct which takes a week to get to me.

ASRock A785GM-LE AM3/AM2+/AM2 AMD 785G Micro ATX AMD Motherboard

I am not familiar with this brand but it was the only one that was compatible with my memory and CPU.  It also has an onboard Radeon video card so I know it will be compatible with my Radeon video card that I bought from Tiger Direct.  I read a review that said that the onboard video is crap for playing games so you will need another video card which I just so happen to have.

This should work and get me back up and running.  I already got my shipping confirmation so it should be here tomorrow afternoon around 4pm which is when we get our UPS packages.

I think the reason that Radeon video card didn’t work with my motherboard was probably because it wasn’t compatible with the motherboard.  My other video card was nvidia so I don’t know what possessed me to buy Radeon.

I will update this as soon as I get my new motherboard installed to say whether it worked or not.  I’m pretty sure it should but I will update this whether it works or not.

Was My Short Story A Premonition?

I’ve been talking about this short story that I want to write for the last few days about a 9-year-old Indigo child named Henry who has a premonition about the future.  His premonition is something that actually happened to me but with some exaggeration to make it a Halloween story.

Originally it was about a boy named Henry, his parents and his brother who is 2 years older named Phillip.  I don’t know where I came up with the names, they just came to me.  I changed the story a little so the brother is a twin and I renamed him Andrew.

Here is the strange part.  Today I saw a commercial for the new CW show Ringer starring Sarah Michelle Gellar.  I wasn’t going to watch it because I normally don’t watch a show unless it has something supernatural in it but decided last minute that I would because I didn’t want to get into it 3 episodes in and have to watch the first couple episode online.

So I watched it and this is what I knew, her character is a twin, her twin “dies” and she takes her place.  Sound a little familiar?  The twin part that is.

The 2 male characters names are Henry and Andrew.  When I heard those 2 names I thought, ok this is strange because my short story is about twins named Henry and Andrew.

I came up with those names out of thin air.  Henry has a premonition in the book but is it really me who had the premonition that I would be seeing a show with twins and with characters who have those 2 names?

I decided to write this short story based on a memory from when I was 9 years old as I was remembering it when writing my autobiography.  I think it’s funny that I made the brother change and the names that are all so similar to a tv show that I wasn’t going to watch.

I am an Indigo adult and I have had many premonitions and it still freaks me out every time I have them.

Do I continue to write this short story now?

Writing Books

I started writing my autobiography again on my netbook using SoopBook.  I was using just a regular word processor before but it seems easier using SoopBook since it uses the WordPress blogging platform that I use to write my blog with.  It’s easier to do it when I’m using something that I am familiar with.

I have 3 1/2 chapters written down so far.  It has been a little taxing on my emotions having to go through each and every memory.  What is even more difficult is having to remember when each memory happened.  So many things happened and it was so many years ago that sometimes the memories just bleed into each other and I can’t remember which event happened first and second and even in which month or year.  I am doing my best to remember but these things take a lot of time to write.

I have sort of veered off to another book that I wanted to write.  I figured that if I’m going to have an autobiography, I should probably be known as a writer first.  So I am writing a short story about an Indigo Child named Henry who has a premonition about something that will greatly impact his life and he has to stop it from happening before he loses everyone he loves.  It’s not going to be a huge novel, think of it as a half hour episode of the Twilight Zone.

I wrote the first chapter today and I have many more ideas for the second chapter in my head but I will have to get to it tomorrow.  It’s really a heart breaking story and every time I think about what I’m going to write I start to cry because I know how it will end lol.

I don’t even know where this story came from, it just popped into my head out of nowhere.  I was trying to read a book and I just couldn’t focus on what I was reading because I had this big story churning in my brain and I was just thinking, how can I be reading this book when I need to be writing this amazing story about this amazing little Indigo Child?

It’s going to be a Halloween story so I hope to be finished with it before or on October 1st 2011.  It will be my first ever story that I have ever thought of so be easy on me when you criticize me because I’ve never written a story before.  Of course when I have it published I will link the ebook in my blog so all 5 of my readers can get first dibs lol.

I’m hoping that this little short story will get bigger and end up being a novel instead of a short story but we will have to see how many twists and turns my brain can think of.  I am giving it a title that will be open to a second book, maybe even more, who knows.  We will see.

True Blood Season 4

I have been watching True Blood since the very first season in 2008.  Let’s just say that any tv show with anything that is supernatural is my cup of tea.  Well, this isn’t just any supernatural show to me, it’s an obsession.

I didn’t actually start reading the books until last year at the end of the 3rd season because I couldn’t afford to spend $60 on the book set at the book store.  It just so happened that a couple of months later I bought a Nook so I was able to buy the ebooks 1 at a time.  They were oddly still $60 for ebooks 1-8 (although I’m sure they’ve gone up by now) but I could still only afford one at a time.

I read the first one and was shocked at how different it was from the first season but kinda glad in a way because it was giving me an alternative to the story.  There were some characters and storyline that the show didn’t have and vice versa.  It was like I was watching one show while reading about an alternate dimension of the same show.

Then I read the 2nd, then the 3rd and the 4th and so on.  Well, this is the 4th season and now that I’ve already read the 4th book and I’ve seen the first few episodes, the feeling that I’m having about that alternate world has totally changed for some reason.  Now I’m thinking, hey, that person isn’t supposed to be dead, they were in the 6th book.  It’s just like how Lafayette died at the end of the first book but they kept him in the show, well, there are people being killed off who were supposed to still live in future seasons.  I wonder how they will get around all of that.

I’ve been asked if I like this new season because of how Jason is being bitten by Crystal and her fiance/brother/cousin Felton.  Well, that happened in the book.  The same with Eric losing his memory, or having them taken away from him by witches.  Those are the 2 parts of the story that were supposed to happen.

The thing with Tara sort of shocked me but it wasn’t a bad thing.  I just wasn’t expecting that to happen.

Andy being addicted to “V” really threw me for a loop.  I remember at the end of the 3rd season when he looked at the blood in the bottles and then put them away again in a hurry but I never expected him to become such an addict.

Jason becoming a cop was totally unexpected for some reason but he looks good in a cop uniform.

Bill becoming King of Louisiana and how he became the King really shocked me.  In the books he’s not the King because Sophie Anne is still the Queen but he is an authority figure, don’t ask me to remember what he does lol.

Then finally, the whole 12 1/2 month passing was kinda strange and Eric buying Sookies house.  That was totally unexpected.

Well, no matter how many changes they make, I will still be obsessed with the show and I will continue to read the books and watch future seasons.  When I am loyal to a show, I will continue to watch no matter what curve balls they throw at me.  In fact, it’s the curve balls that keep me watching so keep it up Alan Ball (get it?  curve balls… Alan Ball… no?).  Thanks for making such an awesome book into an awesome show.

Oh and did anyone notice how whenever they show someone reading a book it’s always by Charlaine Harris?  I don’t know why but I always get the chills and I wonder what book that was so I can read it.  I know she’s not reading the Sookie Stackhouse books.  Wait… she’s not right?  Just checkin’.

In Memory of Vedra Jean Luttrell

We have recently suffered the loss of a great friend and family member; Chips cousin has unexpectedly and wrongfully passed away at the age of 62.

I first met Vedra in the mid 90’s when Darrin and I would travel from Hollywood to Bakersfield to visit his mom for Mother’s Day. Every year Vedra would send a flier in the mail telling us about the family reunion and pot luck in the park and it was something that I always looked forward to, not just for the good food but to see her since we clicked so well.

We moved to Bakersfield in 2000 so we were able to see her more than just once a year but little did I know, she only lived 2 blocks from us.  When I learned that she lived so close, we started to see her more often and we met her life partner Venda.  Next thing you know, we’re all trading birthday gifts with each other.

The circumstances with which Vedra has left this world is very painful and I will not go into any details as I would like this to be a celebration of her life but let’s never forget the tragedy for why she is not with us today.

There won’t be a funeral but there will be a celebration of life party at one of Vedras sisters house in mid November.  I like celebration of life parties because you aren’t just mourning her death but also celebrating her life.  I have been to 3 such parties in my life and it’s a better way to say goodbye with a smile and a tear at the same time.

We will miss you and never forget you Vedra.

Memories Are Like A Puzzle

When I started writing my autobiography I thought it was going to be a breeze.  I just start typing and let the memories flow through and I would be finished in no time.  WRONG!

Having to remember what happened when so many things happened in a single year is like putting together a puzzle with pieces from 20 puzzles mixed together.  Before writing it out, I have to put down time lines on paper.  There are certain things that happened that are so wrong though.  I know they happened but how did they happen at all?

Example: I remember coming home drunk during my sisters birthday party in a specific apartment that we lived in.  I remember my bedroom was in a partitioned part of the living room and I remember plopping down on my bed drunk.  But, it’s impossible because during that time when my sister had that birthday party I wasn’t living with them anymore, I had been kicked out of the house.

That memory is impossible.  It couldn’t have happened during her birthday so I have to assume that it wasn’t her birthday but maybe a summer party instead.

I have to place the wrong puzzle piece in the wrong slot and hope that nobody notices that it’s wrong.  Does that make it fiction then if I make up what happened or is something I should just leave out entirely?  The problem is, it is an integral part of the story since I was 17 years old when it happened.  I’m trying to make a point about teenage alcohol abuse so I have to leave it in the story line.

Another example: I lived in so many different places in a few years but each memory seems like it took years to create but I now know that it was all during 1988-90.  The problem that I face is trying to figure out where I lived and worked and when.  If I watched tv during those times it would be so much easier to remember when I lived there because I could remember what happened in that season of the show.

I do remember living with my parents when the show Roseanne first aired and watching the series premiere with my mom and a few episodes after that but that was the only show I remember watching that was new.

Now I wish I had watched more tv when I was younger.  I wish I had carried a diary or made a resume.  At least if I had a resume I would know where I worked throughout my life, that way I could remember where I lived and what happened.  But nooo….

Oh well, I’m sure it will all come to me eventually.  It is not going to be easy to write this book and I know it’s going to take some time to do.

I’m Drugged up with Adrenaline

It all started out with looking at my AOL buddy list then double clicking a name and saying hi to Chips cousins girlfriend.

We get in this conversation about her girlfriend being in the hospital which turns into me talking about my childhood lol.  I focused the conversation from her girlfriend in the hospital to my childhood trauma lol.

The more we talk about it, the more adrenaline pumps into my body and I start getting angry and then the testosterone starts pumping in and next thing you know, I’m wide awake at 2:30am.

I finally took an ambien which won’t work without food so I had a banana but I have a feeling I’m gonna need some toast.  Ok so I don’t need it, I’m craving it lol.

Why is it that when talking about my childhood my body starts to go through something else?  Most people would cry about it and get over it and it’s done.  But me, I don’t cry, I want to punch someone and since it’s not my style I want to punch something.  But since punching things also isn’t my style (I’m too cheap to damage things I have to replace) then the next best thing is to start growling and just being pissed off lol.

As I’m back in time in my head I’m yelling IN MY HEAD at people who are talking trash to me and I’m punching them in the face lol.  I guess it’s better and less illegal to punch a memory in your mind lol.

This would be a great time to start writing about what happened but I’d rather keep writing in chronological order when I write my book so I’ll wait.  Those memories aren’t gonna go away so I can put them in the back of the closet for a while until I get to them and then watch out lol.

Anyway, off to bed when I get food in me and the ambien kicks in.  Relaxing helps calm me down long enough to go to sleep because it stops my brain from working overtime lol.