Tag: 17 years

‎30-40% of Homeless Youth Identify as LGBT

On By Michel McDonaldIn Anti-Gay1 Comment

I saw this link on the Bakersfield Gay and Lesbian Center Facebook page this morning.

Young, Gay And Homeless: Fighting For Resources – NPR

I was a homeless gay teen.  I was kicked out of the house when I was 15 years old for not wanting to visit my mother in the hospital.  I was homeless for 6 months wondering day-to-day when I was going to get my next meal.

I was homeless again when I was 17 years old because my mother rejected me for being gay.  She confronted me about being gay then 2 weeks later kicked me out of the house.  She made me choose between being gay and being her son.

I know what it’s like to be homeless so I understand this story more than anyone in the world.

This article says that there are 3,800 homeless teens in New York City and only 250 beds.  I have a solution if anyone will hear me out.  Anyone who identifies as Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgendered or even a PFLAG member can invite them into their home to stay with them for a short time.  Help them get their GED (if they didn’t get to graduate high school) and help them find a job.  After 3 months they will have enough money saved up to get their own apartment and it will all be because you helped them.

When I was homeless the second time around, the Salvation Army church helped me but they weren’t allowed to know that I was gay because if they found out, they would have kicked me out.  Being rejected once by your family is one thing but then to be rejected by the church is devastating.  If we are going to tell them that it gets better, we need to prove it by showing them that it gets better by helping them.

Think of it as adopting a child, because they are still children after all.  These children are teenagers but they are still children whose childhood was taken away from them.  Give it back to them by helping them get off the streets.

And you parents, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  Waiting until their 18th birthday to kick out your own child just because they are gay.  Especially around the holidays.  SHAME SHAME SHAME!  You kick them out of the house because your religion says that it’s wrong.  So abandoning them is right?  You think they are going to hell?  So you think that God will approve of how you treated your child?  Think again.

In Your Face!

On By Michel McDonaldIn Anti-GayLeave a comment

You know how some people are homophobic but they don’t throw it in your face but you know they are because they give you a disapproving glare or they make snarky comments when referring to your sexuality?  Well, I have one particular family member who is sort of like that.  The whole gay issue is never brought up, like it’s so shameful that we just don’t talk about it out of fear that it will tear our relationship apart because of differing opinions or something.

I was talking with said family member on the phone today who was the only family member by the way who ever calls me on my birthday and she was 6 days late calling me.  But the subject of Chips deceased cousins relationship came up and she asked how long they were together and I said 27 years.  “Wow, how long have you guys been together” she asks which I respond 17 years. “WOW!”

I get no gratification for throwing it in her face that I am in a long-term relationship but when you tell a person like her who is against gay relationships that you have been together for 17 years and they have a “WOW” response, it makes you feel good.  Like “IN YOUR FACE” or something.  Not a mean in your face but you know.

I would say that I am the black sheep to half of my family because of my sexuality which if you think about it is such a stupid reason to be the black sheep.  I mean, I was born this way, you don’t make me a black sheep because I was born with hazel eyes and brown hair do you?  Of course not because that is absurd.  So why make me the black sheep because of my sexuality which I have no control over just like I have no control over the fact that I have male pattern baldness.

You know what I say to society, I’m here, I’m queer, get effing used to it biatches!  I’m in a committed long-term monogamous relationship with a person with whom I love and nothing anyone says about it is going to change that.  Get over your insecurities about gay people and realize we aren’t going to change.  We do have loving normal relationships just like all of you straight people.  The only difference is that we can’t get each other pregnant, which if you think about it is more of a blessing cause who wants that?  Not me!

I am so sick of people judging me so yeah, I get a little excited when someone who doesn’t approve has a moment when they are impressed by it.  As if I was ever seeking approval, I’m not but you know what I mean.

No matter what the circumstances are, she is my family and I respect her even though she may not respect me for being gay but goddamnit, it’s my life.  Be grateful I’m happy and I’m not miserable in a relationship with a woman who I am not sexually attracted to with children who probably hate me for taking out my aggression on them for having to be stuck in that marriage just to please your homophobic ass.

That’s all I have to say. *Steps off of my soap box*

It’s Our 17 Year Anniversary

On By Michel McDonaldIn Daily BlogLeave a comment

Today is our 17 year anniversary.  We met in 1994 and we just clicked and became a couple.  Most people count their wedding anniversary, not the day they became a couple but considering gays still can’t get married in California, I count our relationship years instead.  Even if we could get married, I would still count how long we’ve been together.

Ok so the cake doesn’t look great, I was running out of frosting, you know how those frosting containers only have so much and I think I put too much in some spots but not enough in others which is why there is a hole on the side in the front but it’s ok, at least I didn’t have to pay $20 for it from the grocery store.

The cake doesn’t symbolize anything really, I just wanted an excuse to have cake lol.  Obviously I had to photo shop the rainbow heart and 17 years because it was too plain for this post, I wish I had the talent to draw that onto the cake with colored frosting.

Well… to another 17 years.  Cheers!

Pray the Gay Away?

On By Michel McDonaldIn GayLeave a comment

Thanks to the Oprah Winfrey Network (the new OWN channel) we have some new shows to watch on TV and Our America with Lisa Ling is among one of them that I am interested in watching.

Todays episode was “Pray the Gay Away?” along with a very special primetime episode of the new Gayle King Show where they discuss the episode, take calls and talk to participants from the documentary.

I think that every gay person has their own beliefs as to why there is homosexuality. My own partner of 17 years believes that he is gay because of his parents’ failed marriage when his father came back from the Korean War in the mid 50’s. His father came home mentally traumatized and their relationship ended and his father eventually passed away. He believes that the destruction of his parents marriage and subsequent death is what turned him gay. And he has every right to have his opinion whether I or anyone else disagrees with it.

I personally believe that I was born this way because I’ve always had an attractiveness towards the same-sex since I met a cute boy named Ruben when I was 4 years old. I had dreams about him and I just knew that I liked him. There was nothing out of the ordinary that made me choose to like him, I just did.

I mean, one could argue that I may have turned gay because of the abuse I endured throughout my childhood but I didn’t know any better. I thought it was normal for parents to beat their children and call them stupid and retarded and worthless among other names. I saw the way my aunt and uncle raised their 3 kids which was basically the same or worse so that there told me, it’s normal. My cousins were treated way worse than I was and they all turned out straight and so did my sister.

So in my case I just don’t believe that my being abused the same way as 4 other people had any impact on my sexuality because I was the only gay one.

I do have other cousins from a different aunt and uncle who treated their kids like human beings and 2 of them turned out lesbian after suffering no childhood trauma. So what does that tell you? They raised 5 kids and 2 of them turned out differently despite all of them being treated with the same love.

The argument that there is no evidence of a gay gene and that it’s all taught to you, you are born straight but you turn gay from your environment is all bullcrap to me. Maybe the gay gene isn’t meant to be found, maybe we’re chosen for this life for population control or who knows, maybe something else.

This Exodus group tells people that they can change and I feel it is wrong because the only person who can change you is you. If you are gay and you are just so unhappy about it and want to put in the effort to turn straight then go for it. Don’t expect for it to work because you will always be gay no matter what they tell you. But if you are in that much pain about it and you have the will power then fine. Do what you like, it’s your body. But don’t turn around and condemn those who refuse to live a lie for the rest of their existence.

This one woman (whose name escapes me) who is a pastor and says she was a lesbian for 14 or so years but then decided to be straight, she compares homosexuality with addiction to drugs or alcohol. I can’t even begin to think what Bullcrap that is because I’ve been gay for 40 years and celibate for the last 10. I am not going through withdrawals lol. I didn’t go through withdrawals 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 2 years ago, 1 year ago or today. I am completely withdrawal free and unfortunately still sex free but that was never my choice, it was the choice of my partner who has erectile dysfunction (he’s 21 years older than I am) so I have to respect that.

Of course being a born again Christian he tells people that he is abstaining from sex not because of his “ED” but because he is a “non-practicing homosexual” so the church won’t kick him out. And hey, if that’s what you have to do then that’s what you have to do. I have no ill feelings about him for any of that.

That only thing that pissed me off throughout the whole show was that ex-lesbian woman comparing sexuality to addiction. I think that I am living proof that it was never an issue of “I gotta have it” because I don’t gotta have anything. I can certainly abstain with the help of my old childhood friend Tom Thumb and his 4 brothers.

Look if you are a born again christian and you feel that being gay means you are going to hell for it and don’t want that then change yourself because that is what you want to do. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking it’s wrong because it’s not wrong, it’s natural to want to live a happy life and for someone to tell you that you are sinning are themselves sinning for taking gods job away by acting as judge. There is a recession so let God do his job.

It’s 2011. When is racism and bigotry going to end? Is it going to be soon?

We all believe in what we all want to believe in and these opinions are what I believe in. Thank you for reading.

As for my relationship, our 17 year anniversary is in 2 1/2 weeks. Even I can’t believe it has been 17 years. I am with the person I was meant to be with whether sex is involved in the relationship or not. Sex doesn’t make a relationship, it is only a part of it and who says it even has to be any part of it after so many years? We love each other just the way we are, thin or fat, sick or healthy, till death do we part. In this life and the next as I feel I have found my true soul mate and no church can convince us otherwise.

Happy Valentine’s Day

On By Michel McDonaldIn HolidaysLeave a comment

Remember when you were a kid and your mom bought you a box of valentine’s day cards to write the names of each and every one of your classmates on then pass them out?  Isn’t it funny how the boys gave each other valentine’s day cards and all the girls gave each other cards?  Why is it that we did that, and it wasn’t by choice either, we were forced to do that.  The teacher would send everyone home with a seating chart so we knew exactly how many cards we needed and so we could write the names on each of the cards and envelopes.  We needed the names because even though we shared a classroom all day, we didn’t really know everyone in the class.

Do the schools still do that or are they so freaked out by homosexuality that they don’t do that anymore?

I was at Walgreens and I saw the Twilight valentine’s day cards and I just had to chuckle because when you think of giving valentines day cards, monsters are usually the last thing that you would want to associate with a holiday like this, or is it because they are vampires and werewolves in a love triangle that make it so special?

Well my childhood is long past, my relationship with Darrin has lasted 17 years and we are way past the valentine’s day spirit.  I think that is a holiday reserved for younger relationships but I’m sure there are women who would disagree with me.  We still give each other cards and candy but it just doesn’t mean that much to either one of us anymore.  It’s just another day for us.

And on that note, Happy Valentine’s day to you.  Don’t get too many cavities from all the sugar.

Taco Bell’s Meat

On By Michel McDonaldIn Food, News2 Comments

I heard something the other day on the news about some allegations that Taco Bell’s meat is 35% meat and they were saying something about the rest being soy or something.  I don’t remember exactly what they said but I don’t listen to any of that BS.

I’ve been eating Taco Bell my entire life and if it’s the same stuff that they’ve always had before then I know it’s not going to kill me.  If anything, I eat it so often that I have built an immunity to anything that might be in the meat lol.

Guess what we had for dinner tonight?

The Wall Street Journal posted this article today about it.  The meat isn’t 100% beef, it’s actually 88%, the rest is water and spices which gives it flavor.  Go ahead and read the article.

I worked at Taco Bell when I was 17 years old.  Although I didn’t make the beef I don’t really know what spices are in it or how it’s made but I do know how the refried beans are made because I was there early in the morning to blend the beans that were being pressure cooked all night long.  I also shredded the cheese and cut the tortillas into triangles for the cinnamon crispas which they don’t even sell anymore.  They eventually put me on the line so I was assembling the food but that’s as far as I went, I quit after a month and went to Wendy’s lol.

So whatever false information you hear online about Taco Bell’s meat, ignore it because it’s not true.

Tom’s of Maine

On By Michel McDonaldIn AdLeave a comment

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Toms of Maine. All opinions are 100% mine.

I think I was 17 years old when I first discovered Tom’s Of Maine in the grocery store. I was already on my own at this time so I wasn’t expected to use the same product my mother always bought and I was curious about it so I bought it. I was actually pleasantly surprised that it had a very nice smell and taste and I’ve used it ever since.

I think my wicked fresh moment was when I realized I didn’t need to spray any chemicals in my mouth when I wanted to kiss someone because my breath was already fresh even hours after I had brushed my teeth. It’s not a very impressive wicked fresh moment so I’d like to hear about yours. Go to the That’s Wicked Fresh contest page and tweet your wicked fresh moment. You could win a $500 gift card for Target and other wicked fresh prizes so what are you waiting for?

Did you know that Tom’s of Maine is on and ? I’m following them because I like to hear when they have new products come out. They also tweet interesting facts about the earth since they are an eco-friendly product.  Plus they’ve been tweeting holiday recipes.  You should give them a like and a follow, it’s worth it.

Memories Are Like A Puzzle

On By Michel McDonaldIn Books, eBookLeave a comment

When I started writing my autobiography I thought it was going to be a breeze.  I just start typing and let the memories flow through and I would be finished in no time.  WRONG!

Having to remember what happened when so many things happened in a single year is like putting together a puzzle with pieces from 20 puzzles mixed together.  Before writing it out, I have to put down time lines on paper.  There are certain things that happened that are so wrong though.  I know they happened but how did they happen at all?

Example: I remember coming home drunk during my sisters birthday party in a specific apartment that we lived in.  I remember my bedroom was in a partitioned part of the living room and I remember plopping down on my bed drunk.  But, it’s impossible because during that time when my sister had that birthday party I wasn’t living with them anymore, I had been kicked out of the house.

That memory is impossible.  It couldn’t have happened during her birthday so I have to assume that it wasn’t her birthday but maybe a summer party instead.

I have to place the wrong puzzle piece in the wrong slot and hope that nobody notices that it’s wrong.  Does that make it fiction then if I make up what happened or is something I should just leave out entirely?  The problem is, it is an integral part of the story since I was 17 years old when it happened.  I’m trying to make a point about teenage alcohol abuse so I have to leave it in the story line.

Another example: I lived in so many different places in a few years but each memory seems like it took years to create but I now know that it was all during 1988-90.  The problem that I face is trying to figure out where I lived and worked and when.  If I watched tv during those times it would be so much easier to remember when I lived there because I could remember what happened in that season of the show.

I do remember living with my parents when the show Roseanne first aired and watching the series premiere with my mom and a few episodes after that but that was the only show I remember watching that was new.

Now I wish I had watched more tv when I was younger.  I wish I had carried a diary or made a resume.  At least if I had a resume I would know where I worked throughout my life, that way I could remember where I lived and what happened.  But nooo….

Oh well, I’m sure it will all come to me eventually.  It is not going to be easy to write this book and I know it’s going to take some time to do.

Ultimatums Suck

On By Michel McDonaldIn Daily Blog, Friends and FamilyLeave a comment

Has anyone ever given you an ultimatum or have you given anyone an ultimatum? They are not fair. There are certain times when it is ok to give someone an ultimatum like when a husband is drinking, gambling, cheating etc. But family members should never give you an ultimatum to choose your lover over them.

When I was 17 years old, my mother gave me an ultimatum. Leave my boyfriend Robert out in the cold in a strange city without anywhere to sleep and without any transportation back home or choose her and continue living at home. The choice was obvious. I would rather be homeless myself than let a deaf person wait outside for me to never return to help him find a place to sleep for the night. He was DEAF!

How cold-hearted are you to allow any human being to be homeless for the night until they can catch the bus in the morning back home?  I told her to at least let me call his mom to pick him up and she said no, let him freeze.  What a cold-hearted bitch!  I hate saying that about my own mother, rest her soul, but that’s how I feel.

It was 1987 and he couldn’t call his mother on a cell phone and speak sign language with a video call like you can do today. He had to use a TTY which by the way was at his house in Simi Valley. He took the bus to see me after 2 years of not seeing me and waited until the last-minute after the last bus had left for the day so he was stranded without any way of getting home. I asked a co-worker who lived down the street from me if he could stay with her on her couch and she said yes, I just had to bring him there. He was out of cigarettes so I went back to my house to get him a pack and that’s when my mother cornered me and gave me the ultimatum and that’s the night I became homeless.

My cousin just called me and he went to visit his sister in another state with his wife. His wife is 15 years older than he is and because some people don’t approve of such age differences, she was treated like crap. His sister gave him an ultimatum. His wife or his sister. That’s not fair. You know? You can’t make someone make that decision especially when they are married. What if he did choose his sister? What then? Is she going to take him in? No, she’s not. So now that he has chosen you, he’s going to be homeless all because you made him choose you over the love of his life.

Why do that? Why not just suck it up? You don’t even live in the same state, just deal with it. She is the person he chose to be with so live with it. It’s not your decision, it’s his.

I am in a relationship with someone who is 21 years older than me. You know what my sister said to him when she first met him? “How old are you?” And she didn’t ask it nicely either, she had this disapproving tone in her voice. It’s like, who asked you for your opinion? It’s none of your business. This is who I chose to be with so deal with it.

I think if someone is coward enough to make this type of ultimatum then they deserve it when they are the one being rejected. If someone gave me an ultimatum I am going to choose the person they are making me leave for them. There is no doubt in my mind that I would tell them to go to hell just as I told my mom.

Skill Going To Waste

On By Michel McDonaldIn craftsLeave a comment

When I was 17 years old and my sister found me in Simi Valley after being homeless for nearly a year and let me move in with her I decided that after seeing my first boyfriend Robert crochet that I wanted to learn how to crochet too.  I bought a couple of books about learning crochet and knitting as well as some knitting needles, crochet hooks and some yarn.

I learned how to knit but I never really liked and I learned how to crochet and found it was a lot faster to make something and I could read the directions easily and so I got hooked (pun intended) on crocheting.

Over the next 20 years I had made many pillows, blankets, lots of coaster, a sweater during the Rodney King riots and even a bed for my kitty.  But last year I had to stop because my hands would get numb after only a few minutes of crocheting.  I involuntarily gave it up.

Chips and his moms friend Julia had passed away after Halloween in 2007 and her niece was going through her house and found tons of yarn and gave the majority of it to me knowing that I crochet.  Well, I was very happy to get it all but I knew that I wouldn’t have much use for it anymore due to my numbness.  I wasn’t exactly sure otherwise I would’ve rejected it which would have meant it would all go to the trash which would’ve been a total waste of good yarn so I accepted it.  At Christmas 2007 I brought a lot of the yarn that I didn’t care about with me and gave it all to Chips niece and another family member as well as all these knitting needles and crochet hooks.

Well, even though I had a good 20 years of crocheting I’m not ready to give it up because I’ve been dying to crochet hehe.  Even though I know I shouldn’t do it because I don’t want to flare up the carpel tunnel syndrome, I’m doing it little bits at a time.  It’s not going to hurt if I do little bits at a time.

I just think it’s a total waste of a great skill because not a lot of men can or want to crochet.  Some men think that if they crochet they aren’t men but lots of men crochet like Rosie Grier the football player, my Uncle Ron who is probably the most masculine man I’ve ever met crocheted in his earlier years, the private detective on the tv show Pushing Daisies knits and crochets and they are always showing yarn on his desk in his office.  So it’s not a skill that is female specific.  But it is a waste of a skill if you can’t do it anymore.  I would’ve liked to be able to do it all year because that is usually the source of christmas presents from me.