Wasn’t A Reader

When I was a kid my mom read stories to me sometimes.  Not all the time.  I do remember her reading those really thin books that you give to toddlers who can’t read and most of the page is all picture with a sentence at the top or bottom.  Those are about all she ever read to me.  I was never read from a thicker book with no pictures like Pinocchio or Moby Dick or whatever.  I’m not trying to put blame on my mother but I never was very much of a reader growing up.

Now my sister on the other hand was.  I can remember her being in her teens reading horror novels like Christine or Cujo.  I’m just picking names out of the hat.  I do remember my mom and my Aunt Betty reading V.C. Andrews books and my sister would read them after my mom and aunt.  But I never was really interested in reading.  My sister was an A student though and I had “learning disabilities” which later I found out was ADD when I was 26.  I mean really, if anyone or anything is to blame it’s that.

When I was 15 I would see my sister reading her V.C. Andrews novels and I wanted to feel a little like part of the crowd so I asked my mom if she would buy me the V novel and since I had already seen the mini series I already knew what would happen in the book so it made it easier to read.  I did only get halfway through the book though because I lost interest.  Not in the book but reading in general.

When I was 19 I bought the Back to the Future 2 and 3 paperback novels which were basically the movie verbatim.  I hadn’t yet seen the 2nd movie and the 3rd was in theaters so I wanted to read the 2nd book then rent the movie then read the 3rd book then go see it in theaters.  Unfortunately, by the time I was finished with the 3rd book the movie wasn’t in theaters anymore lol.  But eventually I did get to rent it when it went to VHS.

It did make me feel smart to read a book but that was the last book I read until I was 25.  I had bought a Buffy the Vampire Slayer novel called Prophecies : Lost Slayer Serial novel Part 1 when Buffy was still on TV.  I mainly bought it because I was at Barnes and Noble with my aunt and uncle who are avid readers and I felt stupid so I bought a book.  I didn’t want to buy something expensive because I really didn’t have the money to blow on a book that I knew I would probably never read.  It sat in a box in my closet for years.

In December 2005 after Christmas I was going through my boxes looking for something and I came across this thin novel and I thought you know what, I’m going to tackle this.  I started reading it and I was hooked on it.  It certainly kept my interest and I read it all the way through and it only took me maybe an hour.  There were no hard words in there that I would either need a dictionary or a PHD to figure out what they meant.  So I told a friend of mine that I read it and then she bought a book that was all 4 parts in 1 book and I read it all the way through in a very small period of time.  I was hooked on reading finally.

Then I bought the Harry Potter books 1-5 box from Amazon and read them.  It probably took me 4 or 5 days each book which was fine by me, the longer the better.  But, the first 3 books were thinner than the rest and I read the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th one all in the same amount of time as the first 3 which meant that I was getting faster.

Unfortunately though Harry Potter ruined it for me because J.K. Rowling’s books were so easy to read that no other book could keep my interest.  I’d fall asleep while reading other books so I mainly gave up.

Now I’ve started on the Piers Anthony Xanth novels and those are pretty good and keep my interest.  I’ve bought so many books that I thought I’d read and never did so I’m going to try to tackle them all soon.

Ohio Mom Killed in Home Invasion

Ohio Boy, 4, Found at Rest Stop After Mother Killed During Home Invasion

Man held on $5M bond in slaying of Ohio mom  – Link to news story is broken.

This really gets to me.  This 22-year-old guy in Ohio allegedly invades a home, ties the mother up and then shoots her before kidnapping her son.

“Authorities say he shot and killed the 29-year-old mother in her home and drove her son to an Interstate 70 rest area in central Ohio, where travelers found him wandering around.”

This is really disgusting.  He apologized and said “my fault”.  Pahleez!  I don’t want to hear it.

This is what they are saying on Jane Velez Mitchell on HLN that the child was raped while the mother who was tied up was forced to watch.  But the 2 news stories above don’t mention that part.

The poor kid is scared to death.  According to ABC he has no physical scars and he jumps at every little noise.

Nelson said that while William bears no physical scars from the incident, he’s having a hard time coping with what he saw.

“He’s terrified,” Nelson said of his only child. “Loud noises are just really disturbing to him.”

“When one of William’s young cousins knocked a toy truck down the stairs, he “just from the noise from that, he jumped a mile.”

This poor child.  I really feel sorry for him.  This 22-year-old guy who did this will probably never see the light of day and he will probably be murdered in prison because the other inmates don’t like people who harm children.  And if he did indeed rape this little boy they will indeed rape him before killing him.

Hamburger Helper

We haven’t had Hamburger Helper in a very long time.  Tonight we went to Albertson’s and they had Hamburger Helper in the 10 for $10 display just when you walk in the front door.

I personally love hamburger helper.  My mom used to make that all the time when I was a kid.  My aunt Betty used to make her own version of it by making regular macaroni and cheese (not Kraft but elbow macaroni and velveeta or something) then just adding hamburger meat to it.  OMG it was so good, I really miss that.

My Birth Father

On my 15th birthday my mother decided that it was time for me to know that my step dad wasn’t really my real father.  I basically knew but I let her tell me whatever she was going to tell me.

She gave me this elaborate story about how he left her when I was a month old to go to Germany in the Air Force and he never returned and she made him out to be this bad guy.

What she didn’t tell me was that he was married to another woman and had an affair with my mother and she got pregnant but he broke off the relationship with her because he loved his wife and she never told him that she was pregnant so he didn’t even know.  However she stayed in contact with his mother, my grand mother, for years afterwards.

My mom has shown me pictures of her when I was a little kid and just told me that she was a friend of hers.  When she told me the truth she told me that this woman was my grand mother.  When I had my tonsils out around I think age 3 or 4, I forgot when, she bought me a Mrs. Beasley doll from the show Family Affair and my sister was so jealous because she wanted it.  I didn’t know who gave it to me, I just knew it was given to me.

I would definitely love to find my birth father and have some kind of relationship with him because I have this huge hole in my heart that I would love to fill.  His name is Ron or Ronald Shirtliff.  I am not quite sure about the spelling of the last name but that is what my Aunt Betty has told me.  I have found that name a few times and contacted all of them and of course none of them agreed that they knew my mother so without a social security number I can’t get any information to find him.

I’m hoping that his name will be on search engines and if he or his family members decide to do a search for him they will find my blogs and posts on message boards and contact me.  Please, if you can help me reply with a comment in this blog or go to www.xanapus.com and click the email form and email me.  I don’t have any motives, I don’t care about the affair, none of that matters.  All that matters is that I find my birth father.

Letter to Shelley

Today I called the phone number I got for Shelley, my high school girlfriend, and it was a fax so I had to write a letter to her. I tried writing it but my handwriting is so horrible that I had to type it out. I’ve relied on the computer for too long and now my handwriting is worse than ever and it hurts my hand to write.

So anyway, I typed it out and printed it and my stupid printer wouldn’t print black so I had to make it maroon lol. I went to write the name and address on the envelope and it was so hard to read so I just made a label and forgot to make it maroon and it printed in black lol.

I don’t get it, it wont print black on paper but it will print black on a label. Oh and I printed out the picture of me and her mom and it printed fine. Oh well, maybe it’s time for new paper.

I sent it to her and she should get it by Saturday so all I can do is leave it up to her to call me. If you get this and you look at my blog first let me plead for you to call me Shelley. I have no ill intentions, I just want our friendship back.

Sparking Up Again

In October 2007 I was on the SparkPeople diet which is really not a diet but they teach you how you should be eating the right foods and the right portions. They tell you what foods to eat which include the food pyramid and you eat veggies and drink water all day long and you tell them exactly what you ate and they tell you how many calories, carbs, fats etc you had for the day.

This is really helpful in losing weight. It’s not a diet because you are eating foods you are supposed to be eating anyway. You can eat snacks just as long as they aren’t too fatty or have a lot of calories. Eating an apple for a snack is good, or carrots, hey my mom used to give that to us for snacks and celery with peanut butter. And they tell you to exercise and you can log your cardio exercises in there so it can tell you how many calories you have to burn 3 days a week. The program has 4 stages too.

In October 2007 something changed in my life a few weeks after I started this diet and I ended up slacking off because I was too depressed to continue with it. I started out on October 1st at 225lbs and lost about 13lbs. Since I quit I gained 30+lbs.

I can’t tell you how much I need to lose this weight. I am having trouble breathing, my back is breaking all the time from carrying around 93lbs of extra weight, I have sleep apnea, if I don’t get thin I will be diabetic and that is no joking matter. I need this to work.

I’m going to try to get a jump rope today because apparently that is really good cardio. I was using the treadmill a couple years ago and the calorie loss in 1 hour is the same or more for 30 min of jumping rope. When I was a kid I jumped rope for hours so hopefully I can get back into it and lose the weight.

Rental

Well our tenant Arlene moved out on April 1st and that same day that they were getting the rest of their stuff this guy named Justin called and said he was interested in renting the house. He had to go to work then came back just an hour later with his mom to look at it and basically rented it right away.

We normally have like at least a month to get the house all painted and cleaned up and ready to be rented but this time we had 48 hours. Of course we couldn’t find the right shade of white to do touch ups on the walls so Darrin ended up getting a whole new color, Antique white which meant blocking and straight lines which took way more time. We were up until 3am working then had to wake up at like 8am to go finish it all up. What a chore but it’s all done and the place has a tenant which is the most important thing.

Yarn

A few months ago Chips moms friend Julia passed away. Darrin sort of latched onto Julia after his mom passed away and so when Julia passed away her niece Noretta “Jean” Cade gave us some of Julia’s things. Julia was a hoarder, she had a lot of everything and she loved to do crafts. All this yarn is what Jean gave me because she didn’t want to throw it all away, she wanted it to go to someone who can use it. There is also a lot of cross stitch projects, project books, plastic canvas and knitting needles and Cro-Hooks (a long knitting needle with a crochet hook on the end).

It’s very ironic too because I can’t crochet anymore because today I was diagnosed officially with Carpel Tunnel Syndrome. I need surgery to fix it which can take a while. I have to go to a neurologist to get the diagnosis so my insurance will pay for the surgery.

Box of Buttons

When I was 19 years old I asked my mom for a button and she went into her sewing kit and pulled out a little clear box with a pink lid filled with many different types of buttons that she has collected over her lifetime and she handed it to me. I dumped it out onto the table and looked for the button I needed and put it all back and she told me to keep it because you never know when you are going to need a button. So I took it and I had it for many years.

When we lived in Hollywood we had this neighbor named Meg and one day between 1994 and 1999 I don’t remember when, Darrin gave this box to her without my permission. He didn’t realize that this box of buttons, as insignificant as it may seem, meant a lot to me because it was my moms box of buttons. I felt like I couldn’t ask for it back because I don’t ask for a gift back after it was given. So basically, I lost it forever. Meg passed away in 2000 soon after we moved to Bakersfield and when we went to her house it had been ransacked and I never saw the box again.

Today we left Butch and June’s house (we came to visit early before Thanksgiving and came home today) and just before we left I went upstairs to see their tenant’s room that they are renting and as I was going down the stairs after looking at it I noticed this little box sitting on a shelf by the door. I went over to Darrin and asked him if he gave my box of buttons to June and he said no and I said I just saw my box and so I walked over to the door and opened it and grabbed the box and opened it to find it was filled with buttons. Darrin asked June where she got it and she said that she got it from the motel (they own some motels in San Diego as well as all over the United States). What that means to me is that the “friends” of Meg’s who ransacked her house when she died took my box of buttons and one day they were in San Diego and just so happened to have stayed at Butch and June’s motel and accidentally left the box and it ended up in the lost and found and June just so happened to take it home.

The box found me! After all these years it found me. I firmly believe it too. What are the chances that I would ever see this box again? Here is a picture of the box. By the way, before Darrin gave it to Meg I was bored one day and I had this sticky foil paper that you put over a book, it’s book covers in the mid 90’s and it is the type that when you look at the silver part it has colors and they printed it black with the silver flower outlines.  The top piece didn’t stick so I glued it on and the sides didn’t stick so I used clear packing tape and sure enough this has all that on it.  It is in fact my box that Darrin gave to Meg.