My Homemade Pecan Butter Cookies

pecan butter cookies

I have been slaving in the kitchen cracking pecans from our pecan tree so that I could make 2 things, pecan butter and pecan butter cookies.  I had collected almost 16oz of pecans.  It didn’t work out as I had planned, but I made it work, sort of.

I added the pecans to the food processor and just obliterated them until they were like sand, and it literally looked like sand on the beach.  I added the peanut oil and brown sugar and blended it some more, but it wouldn’t get soft like peanut butter.  I left it in there for quite a bit too.  I haven’t used our food processor in ages and it’s as old as our relationship is, if not older (which is going on 19 years if you don’t know).  It was starting to give an electrical smell so I was afraid of overdoing it.

The pecan butter didn’t want to become smooth at all.  I tried adding more peanut oil, but it didn’t seem to make a difference, so instead I just went on with the cookie ingredients.  Since it was enough to make 2 batches of cookies, I added 2 cups of sugar and 2 eggs and blended it until it was like dough and took it out.  I cut half of the dough and put half in the fridge wrapped in Saran Wrap and the other half I cut up into squares that I could roll like into balls to form the cookies.  I didn’t get 36 cookies, some were too big and some were too small.  I wish there were a mold that would cut the dough into 36 squares so I could get even cookie sizes lol.

The cookies came out really sweet, I mean too sweet.  They are good, just really sweet.  I didn’t expect that to happen.  I mean, the peanut butter cookies are sweet, but not that sweet.  Also, the dough was really dark, but the cookies came out a lot lighter.  Oh well.

Pecan cookies are certain not something I would ever try to do again, same with the pecan butter, so this was an experience that I will remember for as long as I live.  The lesson, leave the pecans for pie…

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Mister Steamy

I’ve seen the commercials for this steaming pile er um I mean ball and decided I would give it a go.  I really bought one because I am always forgetting about the last load that I do and it always ends up sitting in the dryer for days before I remember it’s in there.  I end up having to soak something then put it in there so it gets everything else wet so it dries everything so there are no wrinkles.  I thought this might be easier and faster.

So I bought one today and I didn’t know they are hard plastic, almost hard as a rock.  It has a sponge inside of it and you pour 2-4oz of water in there, you can’t just pour it from the tap like the commercial (or picture) shows because it says do not over fill it.  So I used a measuring cup because I don’t want to disobey a direct order from the directions lol.

The dryer only had 3 dress shirts in there and I tossed the rock hard ball in there and turned the dryer on.  Oh my goodness, it was banging in the dryer and it was freaking me out so I went into the bedroom so I wouldn’t have to hear it.  I go back in the kitchen and the dryer isn’t even going anymore.  I open the door and to my surprise everything is wrinkle free.  So all is well afterall.

So I guess if you put it in a dryer filled with towels and shirts and what not then it will be enough to keep it from banging all over the place, I highly doubt it but you never know.

I think what happened was it was so unbalanced that it just stopped.  Thank goodness it has that function to prevent the dryer from breaking down.  So I think from now on when I use it, I’ll only use it on a full load, not just 3 shirts.  Good to know.

The box was $15 at the grocery store and it comes with 2 balls.  I guess if you’re buying something with balls you need a complete pair otherwise you feel off balance.  Hmmm maybe that’s why my dryer shut down, it didn’t have the balls to finish it’s cycle.

Kathy Griffin Has Inspired Me

I knew that if I read Kathy Griffin’s autobiography about her life that I would learn a thing or two about how to write an autobiography.

Sure, I could’ve chosen to read a book from someone who was gay bashed by bullies and their own parents (which is the main focus of this book) but well, frankly, I couldn’t find any.  And actually, Kathy’s book is the perfect choice because she was bullied in school and she was almost molested like me.  Although our situations are different, their not too far apart.

In fact, they are pretty much the same except she was only kissed by a 28-year-old when she was 13, I was lead around the house with my balls being held onto tightly when I was 15 before being tongue raped by a 50 something year old ex-prostitute woman who was my mothers best friend.  Great, I just told you the whole story, now what incentive do you have to read my book?

Well, it’s not the only story but at any rate, she has given me more confidence in the way to structure my paragraphs and even adding pictures and other graphics.  Although, I won’t be using a tiara.  Maybe…

I haven’t finished her book yet but I have two-thirds of the book to go.  It’s a very interesting read if you get a chance to pick up a copy or buy an e-book version of it.  Even if you don’t like her you will find her book easy to read, heart breaking and hilarious all at the same time.  I laughed, I cried, I screamed in pain because I passed a kidney stone while reading.  Ok that last part wasn’t true but I did cry for her pain and I laughed at her jokes.

So now that I’m inspired by her writing, even though I’m not finished with her book I feel more comfortable to continue writing at night which is usually when I have more energy to write since I have insomnia.  Why I get energy late at night I have no idea.  It just happens that way.

Home Gym

weiderI’ve said before that I’m going to do it but then I wuss out because of my shoulder pain but I really need to do it for my shoulder pain.  I need to bring my Weider Total Body Works 5000 home gym into the patio from the back yard and start using it.

I think that if I work that muscle, the shoulder muscle that hurts and my back muscles, that I might be able to strengthen it up.

I’ve had this shoulder pain for almost a month now and it seems like it’s moving from my shoulder to my neck and also down my left arm as well as being in my shoulder.  So I think that the only way I’m going to fix this is by exercising those muscles.

When I was going to the Chiropractors office in 2005 they would give me a massage, I would lay on a hot water bed with jets shooting at my back, they would put these electric things on my back that would shoot electricity into the muscle then the doctor would adjust my back and then they would send me over to their gym room where I would use the weight machine and do the exercises that they told me to do.  I still have the paper with all the exercises too.

They had me pull on the weight cable then hold for about 5 or 10 seconds or whatever, I forgot.  Then I would do it again, so about maybe 10 times for 5-10 seconds.  So I believe that this worked so I think I should do the same.

I’m giving myself shiatsu massages, vibrating massages, putting cold then heat on my shoulder.  I can’t adjust myself but I do try to crack my back when I can.  I don’t have a little twin sized water bed with heat and jets and I don’t have one of those things that you put on your muscle then push the button to electronically stimulate the muscles by zapping it (as seen on Jackass the movie where they put it on their balls lol) but I do have a home gym and it’s about time I use it.

I really want this pain to go away.  It’s been almost a month and I haven’t been on my bike in that amount of time.  I’m told to just go to the Chiropractors office but how am I going to get there?  Bus then have to walk the rest of the way?  Every step I take causes pain in my shoulder.  In 2005 I was going 3 days a week, that’s $3 a week in bus fair that I just can’t spare.  I would ride my bicycle but then I’d be paranoid that it’s going to get stolen the whole time cause you are in there for 2-3 hours at least.

So my best alternative is to just suffer and use the options I have available to me I guess.  Maybe if I had a person to drive me then it would be easier but I don’t.  We have a perfectly good SUV in the driveway that I could get there with but… don’t know how to drive and even if I did, it’s gonna cost me a lot more than $3 a week in gas.

Home Laser Hair Removal

laserhair

Are you tired of shaving and don’t want to have to pay the high price of getting laser hair removal?  Then why not pay $549 for a product that you can use in the privacy of your own home.  Holy shit dude!  $549?

The Silk’n Store International™ sells this product through their website as I said for $549.  This thing uses a lamp that only lasts for 750 flashes then you have to replace the bulb.  It comes with 2 lamps or you can pay the same price for 4 lamps (it’s on sale).  They sell extra lamps for $55 per lamp.  You can buy 1 lamp or you can buy 3 or more and just pay $55 for each.

They say it takes about 3 months to notice that the hair is permanently gone which is a bit of time to see results I guess but as long as you keep using it then you should be ok.

It says you can use this on your underarms, legs, bikini line etc.  What exactly is the etc part?  Can you use this on your face?  I for one would love to never have to shave my face again.  Men can use this on their chest (as the picture on the MySpace ad shows) but I wonder where else men can use this.  Could you use this on your balls?  No seriously, I’m not trying to be gross.  I wonder if it’s safe for your balls and maybe even your crack too.  I for one can’t stand the gross unnecessary hair on my ass lol.  Why do I need hair there?  When I go to the bathroom… ok this is starting to become too much information.

Anyway, I think that if you have $550 to spend on this product with 4 lamps go for it.  After 3 months are up and you have no more hair to laser off then you can sell it on eBay to get your money back or at least half of your money back.  When you sell it on eBay you are gonna have to buy some lamps to sell along with it because you can’t just sell it with no lamps.  That wouldn’t be right.

Neat Breakfast Ideas

I was just thinking of something.  Why go to McDonald’s for a breakfast sandwich when you have the Big City Sliders Station?  All you have to do is buy some ground up sausage meat then roll it into balls and press them with this thing but don’t cook it in there.  Just pop them out and cook them on the skillet (or BBQ).

Then beat some eggs and pour them into the 5 spaces and of course, as per instructions cook on low heat for 4 minutes.  Obviously since it’s eggs you can’t press them and you can’t use that top press piece to put on top of the eggs, it’s too heavy and the eggs will come out and get all over the place.  So what I think is let them cook for a few minutes.  Since they are small spaces they won’t take that long to cook then you can just add the lid when it’s pretty solid.  It says that you can flip them so that’s a good idea I guess if you can.  Make sure you use Pam.

Then once you are done cooking the eggs and the sausage take some English muffins or better yet, make some fresh baked biscuits.  Preferably from the recipe from the Bisquick mix instead of the ones that are in a tube.  Those are never right.  But when those are done just slice it then place the sausage on the bottom, a piece of cheese (optional) on top of the sausage then add the egg on top.

I’m sure this will be such a good sandwich.  And since they are so tiny you could enjoy a few of them.  I can’t wait to try this.  When I do I’m going to take some pictures and add it to the recipes page heh.

Dell DJ Battery

Well today I finally got the balls to open up my Dell DJ to take the battery out so I can measure it in MM.  The battery that I found to buy is 50mmx85mmx2mm.  Well, my battery is 50mmx95mmx2mm so it’s actually longer than the one for sale which is fine.  This just means it will fit with some wiggle room hehe.  It couldn’t be more perfect.