Tag: butt

Planet Fitness

On By Michel McDonaldIn BullyingLeave a comment

planet fitness bakersfieldAs a child I dreaded going to gym class. I hated sports, but the exercise part didn’t bother me. I actually enjoyed the exercise part because it didn’t involve me being hit in the head by a dodge ball, or a baseball, or a football, or a tennis ball. I just really hate being hit in the head by balls. Well…

I used to go to the gym when I was in my early 20’s and I loved it. I stopped going for many years, but I started going to the gym again in 2005. It took me 2 1/2 hours to get there on the bus because we didn’t have a car. I only went there for maybe 3 or 4 months. I stopped going because I went to a friend’s wedding in Colorado Springs and I got my right ear pierced. My left ear was already pierced, so I evened myself out and started wearing earrings again on a regular basis in both ears now. When I came home and went to the gym, one of the female trainers who was so friendly with me that we were practically best friends asked me why I pierced both my ears and I told her the story of having my left ear pierced when I was 17. I also divulged some personal information that she wasn’t expecting. I told her I was gay. I made a joke about it and said “well I am gay…” and you would think that someone had just shot her dog. After that she stopped talking to me, she wouldn’t even look at me. That was when I decided to stop going to the gym.

So fast forward 10 years and I saw an advertisement on Twitter for Planet Fitness. I’m thinking of what happened to me at the last gym and I don’t ever want to have to go through that ever again. It was so depressing to be judged like that by someone who I considered to be a friend. I am very guarded and naturally want to go to Facebook and ask if anyone in the Bakersfield gay community has gone to that gym and one person told me that she hasn’t had any bad experiences. I’m taking her word for it, and I trust her, so I might take a chance. The only problem is, the plan I want will lock me in a 12 month contract.

Planet Fitness has 2 plans. Their $10/mo plan has no commitments, but you get very little benefits from it. This is what you get with their $10 plan.

  • Unlimited access to home club
  • Includes T-Shirt
  • Unlimited fitness training

Their $20 plan seems to be more what I am looking for because you get so much more.

  • Reciprocal use of all Planet Fitness® Franchise Locations
  • Unlimited guest privileges at any Planet Fitness location
  • Unlimited Hydromassage
  • Use of Tanning
  • Unlimited Total Body Enhancement
  • Unlimited Use of Massage Chairs
  • 1/2 Price Cooler Drinks (Restrictions may apply)
  • PF Black Card T-Shirt
  • PF Black Card Key Tag
  • Unlimited Fitness Training

I really like the hydromassage and the massage chairs. Well, my back will like them more. I have scoliosis and I am in constant pain every waking minute. I’m in absolute agony right now as I type this. I have a shiatsu massager that you put on a chair, and that does work, but when I am at a gym working out, I want to get in the shower and then sit in a massage chair. If I’m paying $10 a month and I can’t sit on that massage chair, I’m going to regret even being there. I would much rather pay the extra $10 every month to be able to get a few more benefits. I also wouldn’t mind getting a tan every now and then. Oh and half price cooler drinks? Yes please! I don’t know what total body enhancement means, but if it’s unlimited I’m so in. Oh and a black card t-shirt and key tag? Yes please!

I just want to be able to walk in and get on the treadmill or elliptical or even the stair climber and do cardio for an hour and then start building muscle which will help me burn fat faster. I also REALLY need to work on my butt. When I lost 70lbs a couple of years ago, I looked at my butt in the mirror when I got out of the shower and it was flat as a board. I don’t want to ever see a flat ass on myself again. If I am able to lose some weight, I want to have a nice bubble butt that is all muscle and no fat. Although, if I do get fat again, I’m gonna have a HUGE ass.

This $20 a month deal includes a $39 a year membership fee, which I honestly don’t mind, and a 12 month commitment. If I am committed to a year, then I will have no excuse to not go, in fact, I will feel obligated to go. And the $20 plan includes a unlimited guest pass which I am hoping will get my partner in there for free. So we’ll be working out for the price of one. Although, he may not get the benefits from the massage chair and bed or tanning bed. I’ll have to see how that works.

I’m really looking forward to going to the gym now. I’ve seen pictures and they have TV’s, so you can watch TV while you are doing your cardio. I was thinking of buying a bluetooth transmitter for my Dell DJ. I have bluetooth headphones for my phone, but my phone’s bluetooth doesn’t work. I’m sure I won’t need to listen to my own music if they have TV’s. And I’m sure they have very loud music, so you may not even be able to hear the TV’s lol. Then again, I haven’t gone in there yet, so I don’t know how they work. They may have headphones for the TV’s. Who knows. Maybe someone can enlighten me.

Anyway, I really want to go and I hope I have the opportunity. I’m broke this month, so I’m afraid I will have to miss the special they have now. I hope they will have this sale next month.

Gearing Up For Cycling

On By Michel McDonaldIn Bike, Cycling, Diet, Exercise, Health, Noom, WeightLeave a comment

NBtwitterLogo

Every year for the last few years, I’ve bought things from Nashbar.com for my bicycle.  I bought a townie basket to carry a bag of groceries (I’m going to buy a 2nd one for the other side of the bike soon), a camelbak to keep me hydrated on my 22 mile bike rides and skull caps to soak up the sweat so it doesn’t drip in my eyes.  This year I am buying something that I’ve been missing out on, a pair of bicycle shorts.

I know it sounds cheesy to wear bicycle shorts while riding a bicycle if you aren’t a professional, but I’ve been wearing baggy shorts for years and that is where I have problems.  Baggy shorts are ok, but can cause chafing issues.  My reasons for wanting bicycle shorts is for the tightness, but also because they have gel in them where you sit.  It makes the seat tolerable for the time I’m on the bike.

I have a ergo bike seat that doesn’t have a gel cover because they don’t make them in that size.  However, because I have an ergo seat that makes me sit on my butt bones and not my crotch area, typical bicycle shorts may not work for me because the gel is in the crotch.  The gel will need to be further back, and luckily I found the perfect bib shorts because the gel is in the back.

I am buying the bib shorts because I want to make sure they stay up.  I’d hate to have to keep pulling over every time they start to slide down and I have plumbers crack showing.  I don’t know if that’s a common issue, but I’m a heavy person, so I’m almost positive it might happen to me.

Here are the bib shorts I am going to buy from Nashbar.com.  They are called Nashbar Victory Splice Bib Shorts and they are on sale for $29.99 from $74.99.  They are 60% off so I’m saving $45.

nashbar bib front and back

I think they look pretty cool to wear a shirt under them, but I have a big stomach so it would look funny lol.  Maybe when I get thinner, then I will feel more confident to wear these with a shirt underneath.  Until then, I’ll wear a shirt over.

Here are a few other things I have to help me with cycling.  A Bell helmet that I bought at Target with a helmet mirror that I also bought at Target.  A Bell Bicycle Computer that I bought at Target for $20.  A pair of gloves that was a birthday gift that were bought at Snider’s Cyclry that are meant for people with carpal tunnel syndrome.  2 skull caps and my 3 liter Camelbak that I bought at Nashbar.

bell computer helmet
gloves and skull caps camelbak

I think that if you are going to take on a 22 mile bike ride, you need to be well prepared.  I am going to go further this year by riding 33 miles every time I ride.  Of course I’m going to start off at 10 miles the first time, then go up to 15, then 20 etc.  I need to build up my calf and thigh muscles so I don’t come home in agony and end up in the hospital.  When you are as out of shape as I am, you need to ease your body back into a routine and give your body rest.

Notice how everything is black and red?  That’s because I have a red bicycle with black accents.  I have to keep my theme going lol.  The red in the camelbak is not as pink as you see in the image, I think the flash or the reflectors washed out the dark red color.

I won’t be able to ride until I get my bicycle fixed and I also need to buy a Co2 pump and cartridges, I also need to be 240lbs to be able to start riding, so it’s going to be a few weeks or a month before I start.  I’m just making sure I have everything I need first.

So until then…

Update: So I was a day late and a dollar short and I missed out on these bib shorts and the bicycle pump.  I guess the sale was only for January because on February 1st, the sale was over.  The items that were in my shopping cart went back to regular price.  I wasn’t about to pay full price when I could get them for their sale prices.  So I guess now it’s just a waiting game to see if they will put those things back on sale in the next few weeks or month.  If they don’t then I guess I’m going to have to go to Snider’s Cyclry and see how much they charge.  I bet they will be 10 times more than what I can afford.  I’m looking on Amazon, but the things they have are either very expensive, or they are coming from Hong Kong.  I’m sorry but I can’t wait 3 weeks just to find out they are too tight.  According to their chart, I’m a small lol.  In normal more realistic charts, I’m an XXL.  Big difference.  HUGE!  So I will keep looking for a company that is actually in our country where I can go try it on.  I’ll have to try Sports Authority, maybe even Dick’s sporting goods.

Getting Back In Shape

On By Michel McDonaldIn Bike, Cycling, Diet, Exercise, Health, NoomLeave a comment

bike path 2013

As part of my New Years Resolution to lose weight in 2013, I plan on adding an exercise routine that is sure to melt the fat away.  The plan is to get to the bike path here in Bakersfield from my house, then get on the bike path by turning left, and then just keep riding until the path ends which is 16.5 miles out.  At that point I will take about 5 minutes or so to rest before turning around and coming home.

I have done this in the past, but instead of turning left, I’ve always turned right.  That route was only 22 miles round trip.  I wanted to continue, but I’d have to ride in traffic, which I didn’t want to do, to get to Hart Park.  On the way back to the bike path from Hart Park, I’d have to ride uphill, which I did not want to do because I didn’t want to wreck my thigh and calf muscles with too much hard work.  I’m no spring chicken, I have to do what I can to keep my legs strong, but at the same time not ruin them by exercising too hard.

My weight loss coach app called “Noom” will help me this time.  In the past I have used a cheap bicycle computer that I bought at Target, but it didn’t have all of the functions that Noom has, the only thing it can’t do is map my progress.  I do plan on using my bicycle computer to let me know how many miles per hour I am riding and to see what time it is since my phone will be tucked away safely in my camelbak, but I won’t rely on it for anything else.  It’s still a useful tool.

I have tools for fixing my tires, but the one tool that I don’t have that I will need is a Co2 pump and cartridges.  I have a regular hand pump, but I have carpel tunnel syndrome and my hands are getting worse everyday.  I have fingerless gloves that are made for people with carpal tunnel syndrome, but they won’t help my hands when I pump the tire.  The Co2 pump will be a great asset.

I also need bicycle shorts.  They have gel in the butt of the shorts which will help keep my butt from hurting, trust me, I’ll need it lol.  Nashbar has a pair of “Gel Ride Bib Shorts” that I can actually afford.  I will buy that when I get some money later in the week along with the pump and Co2 cartridges.  I’m almost positive that those are the last things that I have always been missing in my bike rides.  I will especially need them if I plan to ride 33 miles per day.

Just like always, I won’t be riding 33 miles on the first day, I will start at 10 miles, then add 1 or 2 more miles everyday until I get to 33.  And I will ride every other day to give my body the rest that it deserves so I don’t overwork myself.

Oh boy, this is going to be a lot of fun.  I can’t wait!

Roast of David Hasselhoff

On By Michel McDonaldIn Celebrities, Humor, TVLeave a comment

Tonight was the night that the Roast of David Hasselhoff was on and I completely spaced out. I totally forgot about it. I usually set the cable box reminder but it slipped my mind to set it.

Darrin was in my room and he took control of the remote (typical male behavior) and we were watching some lame documentary about fish. Like I care about fish. I don’t want to be smarter, if I learn about fish then all the other stuff will spill out and I’ll forget all of my useless Buffy the Vampire Slayer trivia. Who do you want to play Buffy Trivial Pursuit with? The guy who watches fish documentaries? I didn’t think so.

So I noticed he was sound asleep anyway (typical, change the channel then fall asleep) so I grabbed the remote, turned on the guide and found the Roast of David Hasselhoff. I immediately change it and annoying as ever Gilbert Gottfried was on telling weird vagina jokes at Pamela Anderson‘s expense.

I laughed my butt off but Darrin kept waking up from my loud laughing and he would say what’s happening? So I’d have to tell the joke and then explain it because he didn’t get it, meanwhile I’m missing the next joke or 2 until I finally said stay awake so I don’t keep missing it.

It ended, it started over again and we watched it a 2nd time. It ended at 1:08am and I thought I was going to bed but no, I had to come and blog about it lol.

Ok, I know it’s a roast and I know that at a roast they make these horrible tasteless jokes. They are really bad like the one about Roger Ebert and Gary Coleman and how George Hamiltoncalled Hulk Hogan a fag twice. Excuse me? He could wipe the floor with your ass BROTHER! I know it’s a roast, I just hate that word with a passion. Can we please stop using that word? Even the most tasteless comedians wouldn’t say that word because they have more respect for gay people.

Look I don’t mind a good gay joke. I’ve told so many that were funny without insulting people, myself at the very least. After he said that I didn’t find anything else he said funny. I waited for him to get off stage so I could laugh at all the insults thrown in his direction.

Lisa Lampanelli is the funnies one on the Dais. She laughed her butt off with every joke at her expense. She loves to be made fun of because she knows that it’s all for the show and all in fun. That’s why I love her.

Anyway, it’s late, I’m sure it will repeat for those who forgot, if so make sure you don’t forget. He sings at the end.

Back and Knee Problems with New Bike Seat

On By Michel McDonaldIn HealthLeave a comment

As the title says I am having Back and Knee (not backne as in acne on my back) issues from this new seat.  I’ve adjusted it every way I can to get it comfortable.  No matter how I adjust it I am being pushed forward to the handlebars and it has been causing me issues with my shoulders and my upper back.

And my right knee has been giving me issues since I got this new seat.  Keep in mind this is only day 5 so maybe 10 more days (the guy said keep trying for 3 weeks, to me 5 days is 1 week since I only ride 5 days a week) and maybe, just maybe that will go away.

I’m going to keep trying though because I really don’t want to sit on anything that is going to cause numbness in my giggle area.

I removed the sheepskin during my ride today because I was thinking that maybe the sheepskin is giving me issues and it was.  That is what was making me slide forward all the time.  So just sitting on the seat without the sheepskin and the seat pretty much grabs onto my shorts like a cell phone on one of those rubber mats that you stick on your dashboard.  If that makes any sense.

I’m still going to buy another gel seat and cut the nose (or horn) off then sew it back together so it fits this new seat.  I think that will help not only raising me back up to where I was to give my knee some help but also my underwear seam won’t hurt my butt lol.  And I think it will feel better on my sit bones if I’m sitting on gel instead of the seat.  Actually the seat without any cover on it is pretty cushioned, it doesn’t really need any cushion so that’s good.

Day 3 With My New Bike Seat

On By Michel McDonaldIn BikeLeave a comment

Today is the 3rd day and final blog post about my new Ergo bicycle seat.  I’m getting used to it more and now instead of just being strange it’s starting to feel normal.

It’s still too hard for my butt so I still plan on buying another gel seat cover and cutting off the nose (to spite its face? lol) then of course sewing it back up so I can just put that on top of the seat.  The sheepskin is nice but it’s a winter coat for a bike seat, not a summer coat heh.  Hopefully by winter I will be able to slip the sheepskin over the gel but I’m not quite sure how that’s going to work out so we’ll see.

I still highly recommend “the Bicycle Seat” but I would go with the gel seat if you have a fat ass like mine and you don’t like hard seats lol.

New Bike Seat and Wood Burning Stuff

On By Michel McDonaldIn Bike, craftsLeave a comment

New Bike Seat:

I just bought my new bike seat finally.  It’s an Ergo bicycle seat which means it has no “horn”.  It’s just the butt part.  The one I bought is the “Classic” Vinyl Bicycle Seat with the black sheepskin cover.  The sheepskin is supposed to add more cush for the tush.  It was a bit pricey at $67 after the shipping cost but it’s worth it to me to have a bicycle seat that doesn’t make me numb in places that make me blush to mention.  Also my left leg has had some pain shooting down from the crotch area and that’s not good so this is going to be great to have.

Update: I just got an email from the bicycle seat website that I bought the seat from and the guy who is in charge of it all sent me an email saying it will take him 4 to 5 days before he can send it out because there was a tragic death in the family.  Poor guy.  I can wait.  4 to 5 days would be Monday or Tuesday when he can send them out.  That’s fine, I wasn’t really expecting it to be sent out until then anyway because of the 4th of July weekend.  I can be patient.  I was hoping it would’ve been shipped out today though so I could get it by Monday but that’s fine.

Wood Burning Stuff:

I’ve been wanting to go to Michael’s to buy some wood burning stuff but their wood burning section is too small.  So instead I went to the Walnut Hollow website.  They have a special discount for the 4th of July, all you do is type in Made in the USA when you checkout.  It didn’t work for me, probably because all the things I bought are already discounted.  Here are the things I bought.

I don’t normally brag every time I buy something… ok yeah I do but I just wanted to brag about these things lol.  All the wood burning stuff from Walnut Hollow came out to about $38.58 after the $10 UPS shipping.  Which is not a bad price to pay for shipping considering the alphabet set and the numbers set at Michael’s costs $28 each.  And all that wood that I bought they don’t sell the irregulars at Michael’s but they are expensive there.  I would guess that I’d have to pay about $15 or $20 each for those.  So I think I got a really good deal on everything.  The hotstamps everyday series and word series, I probably will never use those or maybe use them once but who freakin’ cares, .50 cents dude!  The books were not in the “Great Deals” section which I like to call bargain bin but that’s ok.  $5.29 for a book is great and the other one that is 99 cents is a thin book.  No biggy.

I can’t wait to get all that stuff especially the seat.  Oh boy do I need that seat because I’ve already added 3 miles to my ride thanks to that homeless guy at the rest stop.  But you know, thanks to him for creeping me out and pushing me to go further lol.

Bike Seat Issues

On By Michel McDonaldIn Bike1 Comment

Lately I’ve been coming home from my 2 hour bicycle ride numb in an area that would normally make me blush to mention.  I know that it’s my seat that is causing the problem because of the “nose” of the seat (yes, my crotch sits on a nose for 2 hours lol).

I have one of those gel cushions for my seat because the seat (they call them “saddles”) is really hard and I refuse to sit on a seat that hard with my body weight.  I can’t recall how much the gel seat cost me, maybe it was about $10 I’m sure, I bought it from Nashbar and that is how much they charge for them.  I’ve been using that all this time, last year for a couple of months and now this year for a couple of months.

It hasn’t bothered me before but lately I’ve come home from my bike ride and go to use the restroom and notice I can’t feel anything in my appendage (giggle I said appendage).

So I decided that it’s time to find out what’s going on and what to do about it.  Apparently it is a common thing for men who sit on a bicycle for hours and hours.  It can cause temporary impotence (YIKES!) in men and it may also probably lead to serious problems in the future because you are pressing down on your arteries and your colon so you can expect problems.

There is a solution and it is a new type of seat which has no nose, instead your butt takes all of the impact.  Here is a picture:

large_seat_b

This seat is going to cost me $63 plus shipping of course because it’s coming from Canada.  It is called Spongy Wonder and frankly I can’t wait to get it.  It is going to relieve a lot of my issues and I won’t have to keep standing on my peddles during my ride to relieve myself down there all the time.  They have an optional seat cover for an additional $16 which I will not be able to buy right away but perhaps in August I can buy that.  I’m going to have to wait until July to buy this seat because I am flat broke right now but there’s only 2 more weeks until I get more money so I can wait 2 weeks.

Other models I have seen cost around $79 and up and this is just the right price.  The cheaper the better.  Well, cheap in price but hopefully the same good quality you know?  I’m probably going to be bashed for buying outside of the US during our bad economy but I really don’t care because I need something that I can afford and I really need this now because it is becoming a medical issue.  I will be looking at other websites, after all, I do have 2 weeks to decide before I place my order.  If I do find another place that is US-based then I will choose that and of course you know I will be making a post about it lol.

Update: I am looking at the 2 other noseless seats and the one that is $79 is also from a Canadian websiteTesco-Shopping and it looks exactly like the $63 one.  Then there is the Spiderflex which is $110 plus $12 shipping so I definitely will not be buying from them.  I don’t know if they are in Canada or not, they aren’t releasing that information but they ship there and to Europe but in their shipping page they do show a map of the US showing delivery times lol.  I’m pretty sure that these 3 companies are the only ones who are selling these seats but I will keep looking.  I’m willing to pay $63 because it is a small price to pay to prevent colon problems and/or impotence lol.

I found it! Bicycle Seats | Ergo Seats this is perfect.  It’s basically the same as my regular seat but without the nose so it’s basically a half seat.  The positive of this is the price.  It’s the right price for me at $30 – $50 plus $30 for a sheepskin cover (optional).  I’m thinking maybe I can get the seat in July then the sheepskin cover in August.  That is if the seat is really that hard that I need to buy the sheepskin cover.  This is the perfect seat.  Check out the link for pictures.  Oh and by the way, this website is in Washington State!

Our Cat Is Dying

On By Michel McDonaldIn Animals, PetsLeave a comment

Our cat Shanaynay is dying.  She isn’t walking normal, in fact she is staggering and I saw her getting out of her litter box, she fell out onto her butt.  She has litter stuck to her butt and her tail and it’s already hardened and she gets mad at me when I try to help her get it off.  Her meow isn’t as pronounced as before, meaning it’s shallow.  She has to take deep breaths.  Also she is so skinny now, you can feel her bones when you touch her.  She isn’t eating at all.  I recall refilling her food bowl days ago and she has barely even touched it.

I just saw her drinking some water so at least she’s able to drink.  We can’t afford to have her put to sleep so all we can do is wait and keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t fall off the table (like a coffee table, she sleeps on it) or falls out of her litter box (which I moved closer to where she sleeps).

My Aunt Louise bought our cat this little thing that it’s like a tube with a hole cut on the side and it’s carpeted, you know what I mean.  Anyway, I put that next to the table where she is sleeping right now so she can use it as a step to get on and off the table.

She is a 14-year-old cat.  Well, 14 1/2.  Darrin got her when she was 8 or 9 weeks old and since we didn’t know her exact birthdate I estimated that it would’ve been some time in October so I decided that her birthday should be on Halloween 1994.  So considering that she is so old we have been expecting this to happen for quite some time.  Even though it’s been expected, it doesn’t make it easy.

Anyway, I will add to this post if she passes today.

Tomorrows Goal

On By Michel McDonaldIn Cycling, ExerciseLeave a comment

Tomorrow morning I’m not going to wake up to an alarm clock telling me that I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go bike riding.  Instead I’m just going to wake up when I wake up then I’m going to have something to eat, maybe a bowl of corn flakes, then wait a little while maybe an hour, they say to eat 1 hour before exercising.  I wouldn’t want to give myself a cramp.  Then I’m going to do some stretches for my legs and then get on my bike and go to Beach Park.  This time I have a goal to get there and then collapse onto the grass and rest while listening to my music for a bit, maybe call Darrin and tell him I made it.  Give my legs enough time to rest so I can make it all the way back home.

I think this is a good strategy.  See the reason I haven’t made it all the way there yet is because I kinda figured I’d get there then immediately go home without stopping and it was just too much for my legs.  But all I have to do is think about it in a different way and then I can do it.  I need to do this.  Then I can say hey I made it all the way to beach park and I collapsed on the grass and gave my legs enough time to rest before getting up, I looked at how pretty it is and I looked at the bike path but I will save the bike path for another time.  Yeah, that’s what I’ll say.

The one thing I need is encouragement to do it.  Well, on that note I think I shall go to bed and rest up for tomorrow.  This is good because it’s only 11:12pm and not 2am lol.