Weeks 12-14 Weigh In Day

I am very disappointed in myself for the last few weigh in’s because I haven’t been doing the hard work that I have supposed to be doing. I have been eating my Weight Watchers and Lean Cuisine like I should, but I’ve also been saying yes to the tortilla chips and the candy because of Halloween, and I’ve paid the price in calories. I also haven’t been doing the work I need to do at the gym to help me to lose weight.

So the gym. I’ve been going to the gym every other day, and I stopped building muscle, but I haven’t been able to do the extra work on the treadmill because every time I get on the treadmill, within 20 minutes of walking I have to urinate, and you’d think I was holding it in for an hour. I have to hurry up and enter the time, calories and distance to the Noom app and run to grab a towel and soak it with Planet Fitness’ cleaning solution and wipe the bar down that I touched during my workout, then walk very fast to the locker room so I can pee. I thought the problem was going away, but it didn’t, and yesterday it actually caused me pain. My life partner Googled the symptoms and he says it sounds like I have a urinary tract infection. I’ve never had that problem before. Am I drinking too much water? Because I don’t drink anything but coffee in the morning and then water throughout the rest of the day, but is it the tap water that is causing the problem? Who knows. I’m going to start buying filtered water.

I think my biggest problem is that I am not getting enough sleep. When I lost 70lbs in 2013 I was sleeping, like a lot because I broke my arm, so I was sleeping for several hours during the day as well as at night, so I think that had a lot to do with my weight loss rather than diet and no exercise. This time I thought the weight gain was coming from building muscle, but I don’t think muscle has anything to do with it now, I think my problem is lack of sleep, so I think I’m going to make sure I take the time to take a nap and see if that helps.

The main reason I haven’t blogged the last couple of weeks is because I don’t think people really care about my weigh in blogs. So, I think this will be my last one unless something miraculous happens.

So if you have been reading, thanks so much for reading my weigh in blogs.

Week 11 Weigh In Day

It’s been one helluva week for me, so I honestly don’t even care that I didn’t lose weight this week, but instead I gained about 1.2lbs.

This week I bought 10 days worth of meals from Albertson’s because they were on sale for $1.69 each, but they aren’t the Lean Cuisine or Weight Watchers Smart Ones, they are Signature Select which is a generic store brand. They taste good, and that’s really all that matters.

This week I also found my paternal father’s family and I found my brother, which I blogged about, so I’ve been celebrating and I have eaten things I shouldn’t have eaten, and honestly I just don’t care because I’m so happy right now.

The stress of trying to find someone is just unbelievable. But, I have closure now, so I don’t need to worry about being stressed out over trying to find my father. Right now my focus is getting to know my big brother. The weight will continue dropping as I continue eating healthy and continue going to the gym.

Yesterday at the gym I just felt like I was starving to death for some reason. I had to get off the treadmill after 35 minutes and I was going to go to Barnes & Noble next door to buy a croissant from the Starbucks, but then I noticed Planet Fitness had this big display with cookies that they were selling for $3. I didn’t care that it was that expensive, I just needed some food in my belly. I also didn’t care that it was 200 calories for just half of the cookie. I ate the whole damn thing. Deal with it lol. I also bought a box of generic organic nilla wafers and they were good, deal with that too lol.

Week 7 Weigh in Day

242.0

Today I’m feeling very upset with myself because I’ve been doing what I said I wouldn’t do. I’ve been saying yes, when I should have been saying no. Saying no to things like ice cream and cookies will help me lose weight, saying yes to those things will help me gain weight. It’s ok to have a cheat day once in awhile, like maybe once a month, I’m not saying I can’t have 1 cheat day, but it seems like I’ve had several cheat days this week, and that’s bad.

Screenshot_2018-09-10-11-23-49

Yesterday I worked extra hard at the gym so I could burn off all the ice cream and cookies that I ate the previous few days, but apparently that didn’t do much good, or maybe it did just enough good that it prevented me from gaining weight. I mean, it could be worse, I could have stepped on the scale and it could have said 244. I normally only walk on the treadmill for 1 hour (that extra 5 minutes is cool down) and yesterday I decided to walk an extra half hour. You can see that I logged 835 calories, I could have eaten 1930 calories if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to. I think you’re supposed to eat 1200 calories to lose weight, but I was satisfied with the 3 weight watchers meals, plus I had a banana for one of my snacks.

So this week I will not have any cheat days, I will stick with my regular 3 Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen breakfast, lunch and dinner with maybe a salad or fruit if I get hungry between meals, and I will treat the banana as a sweet treat. I might even freeze and blend it to have as a low calorie no fat ice cream treat, which is what I should be doing instead of having regular ice cream.

We will see next week if I lose any weight. I am shooting for 240.0 lbs, or less.

Mid-Week Non-Official Weigh-In

244.2

I know I shouldn’t be blogging about this right now because I’m afraid if I brag too much about weight loss, I will end up eating the wrong foods and I will gain the weight back, but, I’m excited right now, so I wanted to talk about this.

My official weigh-in days with Nook seem to be locked in on Monday. In the past they had random weigh-in days where it would say today is Saturday, weigh yourself, today is Wednesday, weigh yourself. Well, now it’s officially Mondays and that’s a good thing, but I still weigh myself every morning just to see if I’m actually making any progress. I also weigh myself before I go to bed just so I can see if I gained too much weight that day, and then in the morning when I weigh myself, I can see if I actually still weigh the same as the night before, or if I lost weight.

Well, as you can see from the graphic above, I’ve lost quite a few pounds since Monday. Monday my weight was 249.2, and this morning I was 244,2. So I am pleased with myself, but that all could change in a heartbeat, so I’m not going to get too pleased with myself if on Monday I weigh myself and I’ve gone up. I’m just going to keep working on eating the Cream of Wheat and/or a banana for breakfast and Weight Watchers Smart Ones and/or Lean Cuisine for lunch and dinner.

I had the money for the Weight Watchers breakfast for the last 2 weeks because Albertson’s had them on sale for $1.49, but I don’t have them anymore until they are on sale again. This morning I had cream of wheat and a banana, mainly because the banana added flavor to the most bland taste of cream of wheat, that’s why I prefer Malt O Meal because it actually has flavor, but I digress, the 1 serving of Cream of Wheat AND the banana was too much for my stomach, so that let’s me know my stomach is actually shrinking. That’s a good thing. The Weight Watchers meals are so tiny that they barely filled my stomach. The Lean Cuisine meals seem to have more quantity of food, which is why I prefer their meals, but even the portion sizes are enough to make my stomach shrink over the last month that I’ve been doing this.

Before I even started this journey this month I was 265 or 267, then I dropped down to 255 when I actually started with my diet, so I had already lost 10+ pounds, and now I’m down to 244, so that’s more than 20 pounds of weight loss, but since I was 255 when I actually started, I can only count the 11 pounds of weight, and I can’t officially count that until Monday, but this is motivation enough for me to continue, so by Monday I might be down to 242, or maybe 240, who knows.

So anyway, I’m happy that I’m actually losing weight and I will be back on Monday with my official weigh-in.

New Diet

2018-07-29I have had major issues with my diet. I live with my life partner of 24 years. We are both overweight, although me more than him, but it’s been a struggle for me ever since I quit smoking in 1996. When I try to go on a diet, suddenly my life partner wants sweets or fast food, and he won’t accept anything else and he insists I eat the same thing as him. When he’s on a diet, I just want to eat whatever the heck I want because I’ve usually been working hard to eat healthy and I just want to be bad and eat food that actually tastes good. We are never on the same page at the same time.

My life partner (by the way, I have to keep saying “my life partner” because he does not want his name in my blog) called NutriSystem recently because he’s been very concerned with my weight. He wants me to lose weight, but he doesn’t realize that HE is the one who sabotages my diet every time he sees me making actual progress. So we had a little chat about my diet.

I told him look, I want to lose weight. I NEED to lose weight, but I can’t because every time I go on a diet, he decides now is the time that he wants to go to the buffet, or fast food or he has to have ice cream because it’s hot. He can’t expect me to lose weight if he keeps putting junk in my face. So I said the only way this is going to work is if he backs off and let’s me do my own thing. I told him if YOU want to go to Taco Bell, or McDonald’s, go for it, but don’t ask me if I want any junk. If I’m trying to lose weight, I will eat weight watchers and I will go to the gym and I will work my ass off to lose weight, but all it takes is one sabotage to turn it all around and all that hard work is out the window. I don’t want to waste any of my time or energy, if he’s just going to sabotage me every day. He agreed that he would leave me alone.

So… today we were at Albertson’s and I noticed they had the Weight Watchers Smart Ones on sale for $1.77 each if you buy 5, so we bought 10 meals. I get my check on Friday, so I have just enough food to last me from Tuesday until Friday. I bought 4 breakfast meals, 3 lunches and 3 dinners. I figure I will start on Tuesday, then Friday I’ll have a breakfast, then we can go to Target to buy more. I can only fit 40 of these meals in the freezer.

So on Tuesday morning I will install the Noom app on my phone and I will take all my measurements and weigh myself and I may even take a picture of myself just so I have a before picture, not shirtless lol. Then I will start going to Planet Fitness every day.

I lost 70lbs with Weight Watchers and the Noom app in 2013, so I really hope this works again because I hate being fat.

New Diet

funny-diet-monkey-belly

I’ve heard so many times that the word “diet” is a 4-letter bad word, and that you shouldn’t go on a diet, you’re supposed to change your eating habits so you are eating a healthy diet all the time. I know this, but I also know that I love the taste of potato chips, chicken sandwiches, ice cream, pizza, jelly beans, Whoppers (from burger king, not the candy) and you know, just general bad stuff. What it is with food that I know I shouldn’t eat, but I just can’t help myself? If only those bad foods were actually good for me…

I went on a diet a couple of years ago and lost 70lbs, and frankly I have no idea what I did right and why I can’t repeat it. I wanted to keep losing, but as soon as we started bragging about losing 70lbs, the weight just stopped and suddenly I felt stressed out and I was maintaining the weight for a month straight. Then gradually over the next couple years the weight has slowly come back. I’m not back to where I was, which was 262lbs, but I’m getting close. I recently weighed myself early in the morning and I was 238. The next day I weighed myself and I was 240. Then I weighed myself and I was 245. What the hell is happening? How can I gain weight that fast? It’s like I just look at food and bing bang boom 5lbs. What the heck?

What I did to lose 70lbs was we started buying Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinners, and I said the word NO to everything else. When my partner asked if I wanted to go to Taco Bell I said no. When he suggested we go to Golden Corral I simply said no. Every time he said that he wanted to go somewhere, I said no. He started buying cookies for himself and he would hide them in his living space in the living room, which is a good thing, because I didn’t want to know it was even in the house. One time he left a bag of doughnuts on the counter next to the toaster oven and I put my hand in there and I grabbed a doughnut and I ate it.

I have already made a few steps to lose weight by buying a Fitbit Charge HR watch to help motivate me to exercise. I bought that Schwinn Meridian 3-wheel tricycle to ride to the gym, and of course the gym to be a place where I can go to exercise and to help me lose weight. I know I don’t need a gym to lose weight, but if I make a commitment to go to a gym, then I make it a habit, then I will do it. If I don’t have a commitment to go somewhere, then I won’t do anything. I’ll just sit on the edge of my bed playing video games all the time.

I have the tools to exercise, now I need to eat healthy and I know I will succeed if I put my mind to it. Wish me luck!

Halloween Whopper Discontinued???

bk-halloween-whopper5b25dWe went to Burger King a few days ago and they had a sign on the door saying they were out of the black buns for the Halloween Whopper. They told us they would get more buns that evening, but of course we didn’t go back. Today we went back to the doctor’s office to get my blood drawn, and decided we’d try again for the Halloween Whopper. They had a new sign on the same door saying the Halloween Whopper was discontinued.

WHAT? DISCONTINUED? Ok, that’s a bit dramatic lol.

We went in and I asked the woman at the register what the delio was. She told me that they only allowed 1 pallet of buns per delivery, and they only get their delivery twice a week. How can they possibly expect to sell any Halloween Whoppers with only 2 pallet of buns per week? I would imagine that if Burger King spent, and this is just a wild guess, millions of dollars in advertising, that they would have enough black buns for every Burger King per delivery. How is it possible that they could run a million dollar promotion, and not have enough product? It just seems like a bad business practice.

I heard about the buns causing people to have green poop anyway. Just think of it as green slime, like you know, from Ghostbusters. Slimer has invaded your stomach and is causing you to poop green lol. I’m sure it’s from whatever dye they put in the buns. I’m not sure the A1 would cause green poop, but then again I hardly ever eat A1. I haven’t actually had it since I was a child because it’s nasty.

My partner decided since they didn’t have the Halloween Whopper that he would have a Big Fish sandwich. I decided that I wanted a Whopper since the Big Fish from the other day left a brick in my stomach. The regular Whopper was awesome, so I didn’t really miss the black bun aka green poop.

After that I went straight to the gym. If I’m going to eat unhealthy food, I have to burn off the calories.

I’m going on my diet AGAIN

breaking the scale

Have you ever been in the situation where you are always struggling with your weight, but the person you live with can eat whatever, or decide they aren’t going to eat anything at all for days and end up losing tons of weight with little to no effort, but you are working your arse off to lose weight, but you end up gaining weight? Yeah, I’m there.

2 years ago I lost 70lbs with Noom and Weight Watchers frozen dinners. My partner was very supportive, and by supportive I mean he didn’t wave bags of potato chips or cookies in front of me and he didn’t constantly ask if I wanted to go to McDonald’s or Taco Bell. I felt like he was doing exactly the thing you are supposed to do when someone you live with is struggling with something.

Unfortunately, when the weight stopped coming off, he started wanting to go to certain restaurants and buy certain foods like cookies and chips and leaving them out in the open for me to eat. Sometimes he would try to hide food, but I would find it and end up eating it for him. I’m an addict. It’s like leaving bags of heroin on the coffee table for a drug addict, or stocking the fridge with nothing but alcohol for an alcoholic. He got sick of not being allowed to eat the foods he wanted to eat, so when I got down to a certain weight, he felt I was finished. I’m sorry, but when you have an addiction to something, it’s never over.

So here I am, having almost gained back every pound I had lost 2 years ago. We went to Food Maxx yesterday and bought 20 Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinners. Tomorrow we are going back to the 99 cent store to buy 20 cans of Progresso soup. I can have a bowl of cheerios for breakfast with my almond and coconut Silk, a Slim Fast shake for my 10am snack, a bowl of Progresso Soup for lunch, another Slim Fast shake for my 3pm snack, a Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinner with extra veggies added to it for dinner, and then another Slim Fast shake to curb my appetite when I get hungry again late at night. Once my stomach shrinks again I can remove that late night shake.

I don’t feel comfortable being out in public because I feel ugly. When my face is thin and my neck is trimmed down, I actually feel good about myself and my self esteem goes through the roof, but when I see my big round fat face and no neck again, I feel worthless. It’s a terrible feeling when you look at yourself in the mirror and you can’t stand the person you are looking at. It’s an even worse feeling when you start to cry. Why can’t I just be happy with how I look? Some people actually look good when they are fat, but I don’t feel that way about myself. And here’s the thing, it’s not like I’m morbidly obese like the people you see on My 600lb Life. I’m not anywhere near that weight. I’m talking 260lbs and the only thing fat on me is my face, neck, chest and stomach. And my stomach is a typical guy gut, that’s it, but somehow I feel morbidly obese. I feel like I’m lucky that I’m not 600lbs by now. I’m telling you, if it weren’t for willpower, I probably would be that fat right now.

The nutritionist at the clinic told me not to deny myself anything. Like if I want some ice cream I can have some ice cream, I can eat 1 serving of ice cream even every day if I want to, but you know what the serving size of ice cream is right? Half of a cup! Seriously? A half of a cup? That’s like 2 bites for a fat arse like me. It doesn’t even put a dent into my stomach. But you know what? I would rather have half of a cup a day than no ice cream at all for the rest of my life. I can’t buy ice cream because there is no way I’m just having 1/2 a cup, I end up packing a 8oz coffee cup with ice cream at least 3 times a day lol. It’s cheaper to buy the big cartons of ice cream, but it’s better to just buy one of those little tiny cups that only cost $1. That way I get ice cream, and I don’t have that temptation waiting for me in the kitchen.

Anyway, enough of me rambling on about it. Talking about it isn’t going to make it happen, I have to actually work my ARSE off to make it happen. That means I have to get back on my bicycle, or walking, or both.  I have a lot of work to do and I intend on doing it. Enough talking, start doing.

Weight Loss

I have struggled with my weight since I quit smoking and gained 50lbs. I vowed to never get over 200lbs in the late 90’s, but I just couldn’t control the weight gain. I wasn’t eating anything that bad, so I never could understand what I was doing wrong.

Last year in January 2013 I made a New Years resolution to start losing weight. I was 262lbs and I dropped 70lbs and went down to 192lbs. I was so proud of myself, but then both my partner and I decided that we’re both tired of eating nothing but fruits and vegetables and weight watchers frozen dinners every day for the last 6 months, so we decided we could eat restaurant food and regular store-bought food as long as we stayed within a certain amount of calories and portion sizes. Well, try as I might, I couldn’t drop any more weight and I plateaued at 192 for a whole month. Then the weight starting slowly coming back and recently I went right back up to 235. UGH!

So yesterday I decided screw this eating whatever the hell I want crap, I NEED to drop this weight, like right this minute. I started the Noom app all over again from scratch and when I weighed in for the first time I had already lost some weight, so I was 227lbs. For breakfast and my 10am snack I had a banana. For lunch I had a Weight Watchers frozen dinner. For my 3pm snack I had yet another banana and for dinner I had a Weight Watchers frozen dinner.

Most people say not to eat anything after 6 or 7pm. Well here’s my problem, that’s when my appetite really comes to life. It seems as though I’m starving at that time lol. I mean, I can eat a banana for breakfast and snack and then a little meal for lunch and then another banana for my 3pm snack, but around or after dinner time, it’s like I’m famished, like I haven’t eaten in 10 years. That’s when I’m expected to not eat any more food? Yeah, um… good luck with that lol.

Last night around 8pm I started going into the kitchen and I grabbed a slice of bologna and then a slice of salami. I really wanted to make a sandwich, but when I go on my diet, I don’t eat bread. I could have eaten way more food than I did, but I chose to be good. I took a sleeping pill around 10pm and went to bed around 11pm or so.

This morning when I woke up I weighed myself and it said I was 224lbs, so at least I know the lunch meat didn’t affect my weight and the food I ate yesterday was the right amount. The Noom app said I could eat 2000 calories, but I logged around 1300 or so. I did log the lunch meat. The bologna was yellow and the salami was red.

If I can just stick with it, I will lose weight. I have complete faith in my ability to lose weight since it worked last year, I just need to be 100% committed and use the word “NO” when asked if I want to go to KFC or Golden Corral.

I bought some veggies at the store, like I bought 2 things of cauliflower and some broccoli and brussel sprouts and some other things. I didn’t buy any salad stuff because I don’t like salad without either thousand island or ranch, and those are definitely not on the menu for me. Although I did lose 40lbs back in 2003 or 2004 when all I ate were salads and I used ranch dressing, but for some reason it doesn’t work for me anymore. I have to find what works best and do that.

I haven’t been riding my bicycle to lose weight because of the heat. The best time to ride my bike in the summer time is at 5am, but I can’t seem to get to bed until 3am, so that’s out. Last night I wanted to go to bed early because I’m so sick of sleeping in until noon. Now that summer is coming to an end, when the heat starts going away I can start riding around 10am or so. I just can’t stand the heat, not even to go for a 30 minute walk. I feel like a vampire out in the sun about to burst into flames.

I’ve tried to go back on my diet this year, then my partner would buy junk and naturally I would eat that junk and then give up. I’m not going to pass up a bag of potato chips or cookies on the counter. I have an addiction. Potato chips and cookies are like crack cocaine to me. I just need some willpower… like a ton of willpower lol. If willpower came in a can, I would drink it. Unfortunately it does not. So I’m working on myself so that I can be healthy, it just takes time and patience. I know I can do this because it worked before.

I love positive feedback, but everyone is different, so what works for you may not work for me and vice versa. I’m sure people are going to say “Well what you gotta do is eat this and that and then do this exercise and blah blah blah” and that’s awesome advice, but I have to do what my body can handle and what I’m comfortable doing. I really do appreciate the advice, and thank you for thinking of me and caring enough about me to try to help.

I am using Noom which gives lots of wonderful advice and articles and I am in a Noom group so I get to talk to a group of about 10 wonderful people who are all in the same boat. It’s more of a lifeboat, but a boat all the same. This is just something that I have to do for myself.

New Year, Noom Me… Again

Noom Logo

What do we always do on January 1st?  We make a new years resolution.  What is the number one resolution?  Say it with me.  To lose weight.  I did just that in 2013 with Noom and I plan on doing it again starting today.

We have already been to Food Maxx to buy our Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinners which is what helped me to lose 70lbs in 2013.  We also have our frozen veggies and fruit in the fruit bowl.  I start physical therapy on January 3rd and I will most likely ride my bike to get there and use the Noom cardio trainer app to log my bike ride and my PT.  I took the Noom app off my phone and put it on my Nook HD+ because I like the bigger screen and because I need the space on my phone.

Like i said, last year I was lucky enough to lose 70lbs and every week I had weight loss, and no gain.  I would love to do the same exact thing this year, but even I know that is nearly impossible.  If you try hard to do something you did before, you won’t do it and you will become frustrated and you will end up doing the opposite, so I’m just going to relax and hope for the best.  If it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.  But I hope it does lol.

So from right this moment, every breakfast I will measure the exact amount of cereal and pour the exact amount of soy milk and slice exactly 1 banana into it for breakfast.  For my snacks I will stick with fruits and lunch and dinner I will try to stick with veggies and the weight watchers meals.  That is how I did it in 2013.

It’s not difficult to do something if you set your mind to it.  I said that I will NOT eat chocolate or cookies or ice cream, and I kept my word.  Instead of eating those bad things, I substituted them for fruits.  Instead of eating chocolate ice cream, I chopped and froze a banana or cantaloupe and blended them in the food processor and made my own healthier ice cream.  Instead of eating store-bought cookies, I made my own from a recipe that I found.  In fact, here are all of my healthy recipes that I found and altered to make them healthy.

I don’t drink soda or any alcoholic beverages, so that’s a blessing, but I do drink coffee with creamer and no calorie sweetener.  I did okay on the diet last year with the coffee, so that’s not a problem.  I tried to drink water, but I just can’t stand plain old water.  I drink Crystal Light, or well the Food Maxx generic version of it anyway.  It’s 5 calories per 8oz which is not too bad.  Although people are always telling me to cut out the sweeteners and blah blah blah, but again, 70lbs last year speaks for itself.

Anyway, so that’s my plan and I am hoping to drop down to 160lbs this time.  I would like to get down to 150lbs, but I’m just going to try for 160 and see how that goes.  If I find myself wanting to drop another 10lbs then I will.  Once I get to my main goal then I will continue using the Noom app to maintain my weight.  And of course I will start blogging every weigh in day again.  My weigh in days in 2013 were Fridays, so how does Friday sound?  Sounds good to me.  So it’s settled.  This coming Friday will be my first official weigh in and blog post.