Bully and the National Day of Silence

I have been invited by two groups here in Bakersfield to see the movie Bully at the Maya Cinemas theater.  I think Bully is an important movie that everyone needs to see because it shows the reality for the victims of bullying.

I myself was bullied in junior high school.  They called me a faggot and a queer and many other horrible names.  Being a bully does not show me how cool you are, it only shows me what an animal you are.  It wasn’t just the kids in school who bullied me, no it was my step-father who began the bullying when I was less than two-years-old.  I suffered at the hands of an abuser throughout my entire childhood so I know all about being bullied.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8kNYV5EAVw

April 20th isn’t just a day to go see Bully, it is also the National Day of Silence.  You don’t have to be silent the whole day, just remember those who were kept silent when they were killed for being gay.  You can celebrate any way you want to, just as long as you remember the innocent victims of bullying.

Keep Your Chin Up Jonah

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg

This was shared with me on Facebook today and I couldn’t help but cry throughout the whole video.  This kid named Jonah who just started the 8th grade this year has been bullied since the 1st grade is showing that although he is terrified of being bullied, he has a million reasons to not kill himself.

He talks about cutting himself and even shows where his scars are, you can’t really see them but I’ll take his word for it.  I think that was when he started to cry which was what set me off and I started bawling.

Dear Jonah if you are reading this, I know what you are going through because I went through something very similar.  I know how tough life is and I’m sure you keep hearing “It Gets Better” but it really does.  You have to hold your chin up and just try to get by day-to-day.

Let me tell you something about me.  I didn’t actually start to get bullied until junior high school and the only reason it took that long was because we moved around so much that nobody really got to know me to start bullying me until the 7th grade.

I was abused by my step-dad mentally and physically since I was a baby so I know what it’s like to be bullied on a daily basis.  When the kids started bullying me was when I tried to end my life because I just couldn’t take being bullied at school and at home.  I attempted suicide almost every night.  I almost killed myself when I was 13 years old by choking myself.  I would choke myself until I became unconscious but then I’d wake up in the morning.  I finally gave up after weeks of killing myself every night because it wasn’t working.

It isn’t worth dying over because even though you are still so young, you will have something to offer the world and I know you will succeed because I believe in you.  You do have a million things to live for and I applaud you for making this video to hopefully open people’s eyes to what you are going through.  Maybe you will write a book some day and when you do I hope you share it with me.

Speaking of which, I wrote my own book and I would like to give it to you for free when it is published.  It is a bit depressing and you have enough to worry about but perhaps it might provide some inspiration.

I believe in Karma and I know that those bullies will get what is coming to them when they are older.  Believe me, they will be fat, bald and in the middle of their third divorce while paying $1000-$5000 a month in child support.

Stay positive and keep being you. *hug*

Movie Macabre with Elvira on My Network

Hey remember Movie Macabre from the early 80′s? Well it’s back!

Elvira is now hosting movies on “My Network” or My45 here in Bakersfield but check the info page on her Facebook fan page to find out if you will get it in your city and what channel/time it will be on.

It says that its going to be on at 12am on Saturdays but I checked and it’s wrong. It says 12pm on the guide but on the My45 website it’s says that it’s on at 7:30am which I also just checked and that is wrong too lol.

I can safely say that if you are in Bakersfield, California, you can watch it at 12pm on Saturday on KUVI 45 which is Brighthouse cable channel 4 or 1004 for My45 HD.

This weeks movie is Night of the Living Dead (1968).

I wonder if Breather will be coming back too lol. Remember him? He had like this vaseline on his face or something and he was always calling her and breathing heavy on the phone and occasionally they would have him on the show.

I watched her show every Saturday at noon when I was in elementary school and junior high school lol. I even paid $12 to her fan club where I had to send a self-addressed stamped manilla envelope (S.A.S.E.) to receive whatever came with the fan club membership. Let me think, I remember an 8×10 signed black and white photo, bumper sticker and I forgot what else. That stuff is long gone though. I bought it in 1982 lol. Oh it had a newsletter too but that was the only one I ever got. I guess it was a standard newsletter that they only sent out to 1 time members who paid $12.

Anyhoo, it’s gonna be so fun to watch her again. I’ve missed her so much.

Twitter Is So Junior High

When I was a teenager in Junior high school I was targeted by the bullies for a daily beat down. I don’t know what made me the target, I didn’t act effeminate but I was accused of being gay and beat up for it. These kids who beat me up didn’t even know me. They never met me, they never talked to me, they didn’t know one thing about me yet they beat me up for being gay.

Keep in mind I was in the closet and had a girlfriend as my cover (who I met years later in a gay bar, turns out she was a big lesbian using me as much as I used her).

I was threatened every single day that I would get beat up after school so every day I ran home from school. We were only 2 blocks from the school anyway so I didn’t run very far but that is the reason my calves are so big to this day.

One day I was walking to gym class and I was running a bit late, there weren’t any people behind me, I was at the tail end of the crowd going to the gym. This kid came out of nowhere, ran up to me, kicked me as hard as he could in the nuts then ran away. I didn’t know who he was and I never saw him again. There I lay on the ground in the most pain I had ever been in my entire life. I was in so much pain I couldn’t see, I couldn’t yell, I couldn’t think. I lay there on my side on the concrete with my hands on my crotch. Nobody there to help me, no witness.

Someone found me and took me to the nurses office and for some f’d up reason I got detention.

Ok, I had to tell you that so I can tell you this. Yesterday, someone I follow on Twitter tweeted this:

“If you want someone to unfollow this Saturday, @markdavidson is a good candidate. Can’t believe someone can deal with him #unfollowsaturday”

Well, without knowing who the guy is, I retweeted that. Now, don’t you think that what I did was exactly what those kids in junior high school did to me? I don’t know Mark Davidson yet I ran up to him and kicked him in the nuts without so much as a hello, nice to meet you. I never read any of his tweets, I never read his blog, I just rt’d that without even thinking.

I sent him a @ mention last night after he retweeted my retweet telling him I was sorry. I woke up this morning and looked at my tweets and remembered that he told me to read his microblog for a few days and I’ll understand why this person tweeted that in the first place. Well, it’s not necessary for me to do that. I had no right getting in the middle.

So I guess this is my public apology to him. Here I am on my quest for equality and here I am the hypocrite and for that I apologize.  This is certainly a lesson for me that I will never forget.

Naughty Words on TV

I’ve been watching TV for a very long time.  At least 36 of my 38 years that I can remember.  I remember when I Love Lucy couldn’t say 1 bad word.  It actually wasn’t until the 80’s when the Golden Girls started saying Bitch.  Then before you know it, cop dramas started saying Shit.  Hey, if they can say it on TV, then I can say it in here.

The cartoon South Park says a lot of bad words like God Damn.  They say it all the time.  That’s like the ultimate bad word because it has God in it.  You can’t say that on tv.  Well, apparently they can because they do and they’ve carried it over to every other show on tv.

Now, this word I know isn’t a bad word, in fact it’s just silly.  Douche Nozzle.  I’ve been calling people a douche bag for years since I was in junior high school, even though I had no clue what it was until high school.  But you know, people have been saying that as long as douche’s have been around I’m sure.

Last night, on Knight Rider, the female lead Sarah called Michael a douche nozzle lol.  I was like OMG I can’t believe she just said that.  Yeah I’ve heard it in the movies but I’ve never heard it on TV coming from a woman.  And I don’t mean that to sound like a double standard so I don’t want to get emails or bad comments but you know, I was shocked to hear it from HER.  LOL