Sabotaging My Weight Loss

junk food

Is it even possible after losing as much as 70lbs for a person to go back to their old eating habits after eating healthy for 7 months?  I guess the answer to that question is yes, if you let it happen.  Well, I don’t want to let it happen to me again, I refuse to even allow the thought to enter my head.

I am putting myself in a bad situation right now.  I was 264lbs when I started this weight loss journey in January and I had lost a whopping 70lbs thanks to the Noom weight loss coach.  It helped me lose weight by giving me articles and letting me scan bar codes of the foods that I ate and told me whether it was healthy or not by coloring coding everything with red, yellow or green.  I knew I was eating healthy when I was eating more greens than yellows and reds.  I had dropped down to 192lbs in 7 months because of it.  Although, the last 2 months have been very slow, but at least I was still losing weight and not gaining.

Lately however I seem to be in a bad plateau that I can’t get out of and I am slipping as a result of it.  I’ve been eating food and not logging it into the Noom app because I know it’s bad for me.  I feel like I’ve been sabotaging myself, and I am well aware that I am doing it too.  The food I’ve been eating has been graham crackers, handfuls of Wheat Thins at a time, before I was pouring the Wheat Thins into a bowl which was sitting on a food scale, but now I just grab handfuls and don’t even log it.  We’ve been eating Michelina’s frozen dinners instead of Weight Watchers because they are cheaper and I haven’t had the money for the Weight Watchers.

Lately my partner has been buying frozen pizzas and asking ME to bake them and then telling me that I need to eat the other half because he can’t possibly eat the whole thing.  Of course, knowing he would do that to me, I could cut half of the frozen pizza and only bake half for him, but instead I go ahead and cook the entire thing.  So I am not blaming him for that or for anything for that matter, because I knew what I was doing.

Last night he wanted to go to McDonald’s to buy himself a double cheeseburger and I  decided that I wanted to go with him because I thought to myself “I haven’t had a McChicken sandwich in such a long time and I miss it” so I made the decision to go along with him and not just get 1, but 2.  I thought I was being a good little boy by eating the chicken without the bun or mayo, but instead of throwing the buns away, I put them in the fridge and ended up eating them anyway within the hour.

One final thing.  I haven’t been riding my bicycle and I really have no excuse.  That is the only exercise I am comfortable doing because of my back problems which seem to be getting worse.  I am however waiting to hear from the physical therapist to find out if cycling is going to damage my back or not since I now know that I have scoliosis.  When I start going to physical therapy, then I am positive that I will start getting the exercise that I need to not only help my back, but to also help me lose weight.  Perhaps the physical therapist will give me home exercises that I can do on my home gym, my Weider Body Works 5000.

So I am done with sabotaging myself and I am done with this plateau.  I am going to get serious about this weight loss again because I really want to get down to my goal weight of 170lbs.  The doctor said to stop losing the weight because he is happy with where I am, but I feel that stopping to maintain is only going to encourage me to eat unhealthy.  So I will go back to my healthy eating habits so I can not only maintain a healthy eating lifestyle, but to also lose more weight and to lose this weight that I have regained.

I know I have enough money that I can go to Food Maxx and buy some more Weight Watchers Smart Ones meals.  I’m going to try to get back into the habit of eating those again to give me the boost that I need.  I am also going to cut out all crackers and replace them with fruits and vegetables.  Finally, I am going to start using the word “NO” again, and I am not going to let myself get back to 264.  Heck, I am not going to let myself get back to 200.  It’s just not going to happen.

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Michelina’s are more affordable than Weight Watchers

michelinas zap ems

I have lost a total of 70lbs over the last 6 months with Weight Watchers Smart Ones frozen dinners and Noom.  Money is tight and I can no longer afford the luxury of paying $2 for the WW meals, so instead I had to do some research and find some other cheaper alternative with the same calories, fat and sodium as the Weight Watchers.

My partner of 19 years told me that we should buy the Michelina’s because they were half the price, but I insisted on the Weight Watchers for several reasons.  The first reason is because the Weight Watchers has the name Weight Watchers.  It’s psychological.  If you see it is a product for losing weight, you put it in your mind that if you ate that or Lean Cuisine that you are doing good.  Another reason was because they weighed more than the Michelina’s, so naturally you want more food, even if it was only 1-2oz difference.  My final reason is that the Weight Watchers show up as green in the Noom app while the Michelina’s show up as yellow.  Although, the pizza snacks show up as red.

So since times are tough and we don’t have the luxury anymore, I decided to start buying the Michelina’s.  They are $1.49 at Albertson’s, but they are currently on sale for 10 for $10.  I could be paying .97 cents at Food Maxx, but what’s 3 cents?  I also have coupons for $1 off 5, so if I use 2 coupons then I am really getting 10 for $8.  Not bad.  Although, I printed the coupons and went to the store without them.  Ooops.

michelinas lean gourmet I wrote a post about how the Weight Watchers are better than the Michelina’s Lean Gourmet which I still stand by.  The reason I don’t like the Lean Gourmet is because the sodium is really high and the calories aren’t that much lower than the Zap ‘ems.  They have more flavors in the Lean Gourmet too like the meat and potatoes, which is what I miss from the Weight Watchers.  The Lean Gourmet meals are good, but I have a huge issue with the sodium content.  The Lean Gourmet also show up as yellow in the Noom app, so they aren’t any better than the Zap ‘ems in that regard.

Not all of the Zap ‘ems have vegetables in them so what I’ll do is I will buy some frozen vegetables and when I open the Zap ‘ems, I will pour 1 cup worth on the top and then microwave it for double the amount of time suggested to make sure the frozen vegetables will have time to cook.  My favorite is spinach.  I’ve added broccoli and brussel sprouts too.  I would like to also buy some carrots and put those in there.  It just makes it that much more healthier in my mind and it gives me more food.

I don’t have that much more weight to lose to get down to my goal weight of 170lbs.  Last night I weighed myself at 192.8lbs, but today it went back up to 195 for some odd reason.  Last week on my weigh in day I was 193.6 so I would love to be 191 or 192 tomorrow, but we will see how it goes.  I just hope the switch from Weight Watchers to Michelina’s hasn’t made much of a difference, but I will find out tomorrow.

I am trying to buy a bicycle so I can exercise to help me lose weight, but the only way I can is if people help me out by buying a keychain, my hemp choker or bracelet or some earrings on my Etsy store.  You can use the coupon code NODOMA for 25% off.  It would really help me.  The keychains are cheap at $2 and the earrings are also cheap (inexpensive, not cheap) at $5.  It’s only a couple bucks, and they literally take hours to make each and I’m not asking for much for them.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Have I finally hit my plateau?

I have been very lucky that I have been consistent with my weight loss with Noom from January 5th until now.  In the beginning, I was losing anywhere from 3 to 4 pounds per week, but gradually slowing down to 2 or 3 pounds per week, then down to 1 1/2 to 2 pounds per week.  Of course lately it seems to be 1 to 1 1/2 pounds or less per week, but at least there was weight loss.  This week however, I don’t think there will be any weight loss at all.

Last week I was 196.6lbs and just a few days ago I was asked to weigh in and I weighed in at 196.4lbs.  Today I weighed 197lbs and I only have 2 more days before my next weigh in day, so I don’t think I’m going to make it to 194 or 195.  194.4 is my estimated weight, but I just don’t see that happening.  I mean, stranger things have happened and who knows, I might be 195, but I doubt it.  No, I think that after so many months I have finally just hit my plateau.

A plateau isn’t uncommon for people who are trying to lose weight.  What causes that?  Is it stress?  I haven’t been under too much stress.  Is it that my body has already lost 66lbs so it’s just harder to lose more weight because there isn’t a lot of fat left to lose?  Or maybe perhaps it is because I have been going for 2 or 3 mile walks a few times per week that might possibly be making me gain muscle weight.  That could actually be it.

In the past when I have hit my plateau, after so many weeks of not losing weight I start to think if I’m not losing weight, I might as well eat this food and that food because obviously the healthy foods aren’t helping me.  I might as well go back to eating the old crap that got me fat in the first place, and I end up gradually going back to my old eating habits.  Well, that just isn’t going to work for me this time because I am serious about losing this weight this time.  This time it WILL be different, I will continue eating healthy, even if that means that I will be 197 or somewhere in that vicinity for 2 months before the weight starts to come off again.  I will not let the plateau rule my life because I really want to succeed in my goals.

To be honest, I probably won’t plateau for too long, that is if I have even hit a plateau.  I still have 2 days and like I said before, stranger things have happened.  Who knows, I might end up being 195 by weigh in day, so I’m not going to start having a negative attitude about plateaus because I am not even sure that’s what will happen.

Of course negative thinking like this is a factor in halting the weight loss process.  I could be sabotaging myself by having a negative attitude.  Stress thinking and acting negatively can release a chemical in the brain called Cortisol which is actually what will put me in a plateau, so I need to stay positive because having a happy go lucky positive attitude will help me more than being a negative Nancy.

So let’s just see what happens in 2 days and I will go from there.

@Noom Week 24

week_24-1 large

This is the beginning of the 3rd week of my 2nd goal to lose weight with Noom.  I started  my first goal on January 5th, 2013 with 63lbs to lose and I lost it with 2 months to spare.  Although I did get lucky that I was 200lbs by my birthday because the weight wasn’t dropping as fast as it was in the beginning, but I think when you have a lot of fat to lose, with just a change of diet it will probably drop a lot faster in the beginning.  Now that my body is used to this new healthy lifestyle, I am not losing weight as easily.

When I started working with Noom, I wasn’t exercising as much as I should have because of my back problems.  I can make excuses all day long, but there really isn’t any excuse for not exercising.  I can do some exercises in my bedroom, on my bed, in my desk chair or standing in front of the TV or even in the hallway or kitchen, it doesn’t matter, but it’s difficult for me to do anything with Degenerative Disc Disease.  I am usually sitting on my desk chair at my desk and of course I have a ton of pain here, but when I go sit or lay on my bed, the pain goes away.

I do have a bicycle and I attempted to ride it on the bicycle trail.  I bought a pair of cycling bib shorts from Bike Nashbar and 2 shirts for cycling, and of course I have 3 shirts from Noom that wick the moisture like my other cycling shirts.  But then I had an accident on my bicycle and broke my arm, so I couldn’t go bike riding.  I bought one of those no flat tubes that’s like a solid rubber tube, but I can’t get it on my wheel and now I’ve ruined the rim AND the tire, so I’m afraid if I buy a new tube, the wires sticking out of the tire is going to pop the new tube, or I might have damaged the rim so there might be metal sticking out of the rim that might pop the new tube.  A new rim is about $30 and I’m sure a new tire is around $20 or $30.  It wouldn’t even be worth my money, I’d be better off buying a new bicycle, but I can’t afford anything, so I have no bike now.

I haven’t examined my bicycle to see if there was any damage to the front rim from the accident.  I bought the bicycle from Walmart in 2004 for $60 so it was a cheap bicycle from the start.  I have replaced about 75% of the bicycle over the years, so I have put literally hundreds of dollars into that bicycle.  The only thing original is the frame, the (I’m going to sound dumb here) the mechanism that the pedals are attached to (LOL) and the chain.  Everything else has been replaced.

Instead of cycling, I’ve been walking which is agony for my back, but I’ve been doing it a couple of times per week just to get some exercise in.  Of course by the time I get home from doing that, I am in so much pain that I just can’t stand living anymore.  Speaking of which, I am in so much pain sitting here typing this that I had to go get the ice pack and take a Vicodin.

walking workout june 14 Anyway, I’ve been trying to walk a mile, but instead of only walking a mile, I will add some distance every time I go out.  Yesterday I walked more than 3 miles.  My back was in absolute agony the entire time, but I didn’t care because I really wanted to burn some calories, which I did.  Here is that workout (left).

I went out with my black Noom shirt, my Noom water bottle and my Noom sunglasses.  I absolutely love my Noom swag lol.  I normally like to go out with my Noom backpack, but I really don’t have anything to put in it, so I don’t have much of a reason to bring it.  If I had a bicycle, I would put my Camelbak inside of it with the hose sticking out and I would clip the hose to the strap to secure it.  I could probably do that on my walk, but I like to hold the water bottle.  I really don’t need 3 liters of water on a 3 mile walk anyway.

My estimated end date isn’t until November, although the Noom weight graph says September 17th if I lose 2lbs per week.  Last week it was September 15th and I lost less than 2lbs this week so naturally the date got pushed by 2 days.  I’m really not in any hurry to be 170lbs though, so no pressure.  I feel that if it happens then it happens.  I don’t want to rush myself because I feel comfortable in my skin the way I am now, so if I lose more weight, then bonus.  The main thing is that I don’t put any pressure on myself to lose any more weight because that’s too stressful and I don’t want my brain releasing cortisol from the stress which will prevent me from losing more weight.  Although the back pain from walking might end up doing that for me.recumbent bicycleI really wish I had a bicycle, it would be so much easier to exercise because then I could sit down the entire time.  I really want a recumbent bicycle though, because then I could sit back which will REALLY be easier on my back.  That would be ideal, but those are REALLY expensive.  If and when I finally get a new bicycle, I’m going to get a beach cruiser or a hybrid.  I mainly just want a bicycle with the big handlebars that will allow me to sit straight up.  My mountain bike had me sitting forward which hurt my shoulder and back, that’s why I had to replace the handlebar with a beach cruiser handlebar.  A hybrid would be better for me than a mountain bike or a road bike (10 speed).  When I do buy a new bike, I will go to Target and get a Huffy because I know Huffy is a good brand.

Anyway, back to reality lol.  This week I weighed in at 197.0 and I still have a way to go to get down to 170lbs.  I am positive that I will eventually reach that goal by September, if not then it happens when it happens.  I will still eat healthy no matter what and I will still go for walks despite the pain until I finally get a new bicycle.

Until next week…

My Weight Loss Journey Collage

my weight loss journey

Pictures are a great motivational tool when losing weight.  You want to take a before picture for obvious reasons, but you also want to take many pictures throughout your journey so you can compare your current picture with your before picture.  If you have something to compare how you look now versus how you looked before, then you have your motivation to keep losing weight so you can see how thin you will be in the future compared to how you are now.

These are the pictures that I have taken on my journey.

  • The top left is obviously my before picture.  I say it was taken on January 1st 2013, but I think it was the day before.  It doesn’t really matter though.  I weighed 264lbs in that picture.  We were at a Denny’s restaurant having breakfast.
  • The bottom right is the picture that I took halfway through when I had lost 28lbs.  I had gotten a white Noom t-shirt and I wanted to show it off.
  • The top right I took because I wanted to get a picture of how my dog Flower was laying on me.  I was pleasantly surprised at how skinny my face was getting.
  • The top middle is the picture I took when I realized that I had lost so much weight that I was finally able to wear that dress shirt buttoned all the way to the top.
  • Then finally the bottom left picture is my most recent picture with my Noom swag.  I weighed 206lbs in that picture.

It’s important to me that I see my before and after pictures to remind me how skinny I am actually getting because sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and can’t see anything different and I get discouraged.  When I look at the pictures and see how skinny I am actually getting, it gives me hope and helps me to keep going.  It’s funny how the mirror really effects how we see ourselves compared to how a picture shows us how we really look.  I know that a reflection is the same exact thing as a picture, but it’s different, I don’t know how to explain it.  It’s the same thing, only different LOL.

Anyway, I am very pleased with my progress of losing 57lbs and I will keep eating healthy so I can continue losing this fat until it is finally all gone.

Two thirds of the way there…

noom 219

I am sure people are probably tired of hearing me talk about my weight loss by now, but deal with it lol.  I was excited when I lost 28 pounds when I was only 8 weeks in. I am now on week 13 and have lost 43 pounds. It’s just really exciting for me that I am finally losing weight.

Normally I wouldn’t want to blog or brag about something like this because I’m afraid that if I do, I will sabotage myself. That has happened to me in the past. But I am more confident in myself this time around.

In 2004, I lost 40 pounds and I was so excited that I lost that much weight that I was constantly talking about it and focusing on it. The result of that was that I ended up going into a plateau and I couldn’t lose any more weight. I don’t know what happened or why but it discouraged me and instead of losing more weight or even just maintaining my weight, I ended up giving up and I gained more weight. My weight was 172 then.  I was so close to my goal and now I think why did I do that to myself?  I could have gotten down to my goal weight and been done with it, but I am sure I still would have gone back to my bad eating habits and gained the weight back anyway.

That is not going to happen to me again. I think that if I lost weight and then plateau, even if it lasts for 2 months, I will continue to eat healthy because I think about food differently now and eventually the weight will come off again.  But I don’t want to think about that because I want to think about this as positively as I can. If I start thinking negatively, then negative things are going to happen. It’s like Murphy’s Law, if something can go wrong, it will.

I started in January at 264lbs, but when I started using the Noom app, I was 263lbs. I am now 219lbs and this is April. I only have 19 more pounds to go to reach my goal of 200lbs and I have a feeling that I will reach that goal without any problems before June.

The Noom app says that I will be at 200lbs the first week of June, but I have a feeling that it will be the last week of May when I am at my goal weight. If that is true, then that would be an awesome birthday present for me because my birthday is on June 2nd. The image above says August 10th, but that date never changes because that was the original estimation if I lost 2lbs per week from January 5th.  The weight graph now says June 7th. It keeps changing every week when I weigh in.

For my birthday I would like to have a slice or 2 of cake, or even at least a cupcake. I know that that’s probably not the best idea, but we had cupcakes on Valentines Day and I didn’t gain any weight. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.  You can eat junk food like that if you want to, as long as you eat it in moderation and don’t go overboard and make it a daily habit.

After my birthday, I will continue trying to lose weight until all the fat is gone and I am at my true goal weight. Of course I don’t know what that goal weight is yet because I have built up so many muscles and we all know that muscle weighs more than fat. Before I gained all the weight I was 150lbs so I’m guessing that with all the muscle weight, I should be at 170lbs, but I don’t know that for sure.

Anyway, I have faith in myself that I will get down to my goal weight and I will be a healthy and happy person. Although that is not to say that I’m not healthy and happy now, because I am, but I know that I will be healthier and happier when I am at my goal weight.

So until then…

Just to note what I have noticed about my weight loss.  My shirts were starting to get tight on me somewhere around February of 2012, so we went to Sears and bought some new ones.  The new ones had pockets on the fronts, so I knew which ones would fit me.  Over the year, they started getting tighter and tighter.  By the end of 2012, they were almost skin-tight and we were preparing to buy new ones for me to wear.  My waist was 49 or 50 inches in January and now it is 44 inches in April. Those shirts are now way too big for me, although I still wear them.  I noticed today that the neck on the shirt I am wearing is so stretched out that it almost looks like a V-neck shirt.  They were tight around my neck before.

My neck has gotten so thin that I can actually see a neck lol.  I haven’t had a proper neck in years.  I was starting to think that I never had one at all.

My pants were always loose around my hips, but they fit around my waist if I hiked them up.  Of course even if I did hike them up to my waist, they would fall down, so I always had to wear suspenders.  Now they don’t even fit my waist because they are way too big.  Now if I wear my fat pants, I end up looking like a circus clown.

One month ago I started wearing shorts because the weather started heating up.  I tried on every pair of shorts we had and they were all too tight.  Although some were too loose.  I found one pair that was tight, but it fit, now those shorts are loose on me.  I’m glad they have a drawstring so that I can make them tight so they don’t fall down.  All my underwear still fit because the elastic band is still good, although they no longer curl down in the front because of my fat stomach.

I will be excited to see how I look in another month.

cartoon mike 19lbs to go

No More Fried Foods

I have been on my new “healthy lifestyle” (I’m not calling it a diet) for nearly 11 weeks now and I haven’t had any fried foods at all.  I made some egg rolls by cooking them in butter, and those were awesome.  I know that when Chinese restaurants cook them, they deep fry them in vegetable oil, so I bought some vegetable oil and cut 3 egg roll wrappers into many little strips and fried those because I just wanted the taste of the egg roll wrappers, not necessarily egg rolls themselves.  They have those at the Chinese buffets.  Well, that was a bad idea.

The thing is, when you are eating healthy foods, you are detoxifying your body.  Your body isn’t used to eating junk anymore so when you all of a sudden eat something fried in vegetable oil, like say french fries, fried chicken or fish or say egg roll wrappers, it may taste good at first, but then it sits in your stomach and starts making you sick.  I don’t know if it’s your stomachs reaction to the oil, but it doesn’t feel good.

Well, that is certainly a lesson I won’t soon forget.  If I am going to live a healthy lifestyle, I need to cut out all fried foods.  Frying the egg rolls in butter didn’t seem to hurt my stomach at all, so maybe perhaps next time I try something like that again I will do it in butter, but I won’t do that too often because butter isn’t exactly good for you either.

I tried to eat the egg rolls by baking them first, but they weren’t as good.  The egg roll wrappers are hard to chew when they are baked because they are meant to be fried.  They just taste better fried, but I won’t fry them again in oil.  I can’t say I won’t fry them in butter again because that was really good, but butter isn’t good for losing weight so I won’t make them too often.