Tag: spine

Why Can’t I Lose Weight?

On By Michel McDonaldIn Diet, Health2 Comments

I don’t understand why I’m not able to lose weight.  I have changed my diet completely, I have basically done a 180° and yet I still can’t lose weight.

I stopped drinking soda, coffee and tea and I only drink water but that didn’t make any difference because I’m still gaining.  I stopped making pasta meals and started eating more veggies and sometimes only eat veggies and yet that hasn’t made any difference because I’m still gaining.

I haven’t started exercising though because I’m in too much pain.  If I had a back wheel for my bicycle then I would be able to ride my bike, although it has a weight limit of 250lbs and I’m 258 now so I would probably have to wait a bit to do that.  I tried walking but I get back pain after like 5 minutes then I have to sit down.  I have degenerative disc disease in my spine which makes it very difficult to do anything really.

I am seeing the doctor this week on Thursday and I know he’s going to bitch at me for not losing weight again this month.  But nobody can say I haven’t tried because I have made the change to my diet.  Until I can get an easier way to exercise, I’m kinda stuck.

My Christmas List

On By Michel McDonaldIn Holidays, JokeLeave a comment

Dear Santa Claus,

Hey dawg, long time no see.  I haven’t seen you since the mid 80′s.  Actually the last thing you ever got me was a carton of cigarettes when I was 16 years old.  Yeah, uh, I meant to tell you that I appreciated not having to spend the money on them anyway but that wasn’t exactly on my list for that particular year.  I think I would’ve rather just had a lump of coal.

I’m 40 now and I think I’ve been a very good little boy, go ahead, check  your list there.  See me?

Here is my new updated top 10 list of things that I would like to have for Christmas this year.

  1. A new pair of eyeballs so that I don’t have to wear glasses anymore.
  2. A new pair of hands/arms so I don’t have carpel tunnel syndrome anymore.
  3. A new spine so I don’t have arthritis in my back anymore.
  4. The fountain of youth at least to stop the wrinkles that are starting to form in my hands and on my face.
  5. A new tongue with all new taste buds and all new food cravings so I crave healthy foods instead of junk foods all the time.
  6. Energy and motivation to lose weight so I don’t have sleep apnea anymore.
  7. A new liver since mine has been abused by all the medicines I’ve been taking over the last 16 years to stay alive.
  8. Give me the patience and strength to put up with people who want to bring me down day in and day out.
  9. A closer relationship with my friends and family and maybe even more blog readers.
  10. And finally Santa, I’d like a new dish pan because mine is falling apart.

What did you think #10 would be?  Peace on earth?  I’m already making 9 unrealistic requests, the least I could  do is ask for something practical that might be sold at Macy’s.