My Eating Disorder

overeating disorder

When I was a kid, I had a huge appetite, but I never gained any weight because, well, I was a kid and kids back in the 70’s and 80’s were more active than they are now.  As a kid, I was always riding my bicycle, roller skating or doing who knows what.  As a pre-teen and a teenager I was busy working with my step-father in the apartment building painting vacant apartments or doing whatever it was that he made me do, so I was constantly burning calories.

I was actually very fit throughout my entire childhood and through my teen years and even through most of my twenties.  I was also a smoker from age 15 to 26, and that’s when it all went downhill for me.  As soon as I quit smoking it was like my taste buds were brand new and everything tasted awesome.  My partner hates it when I say this, but everything new was like having an orgasm in my mouth lol.  I kid you not.

When I quit smoking in 1996, it only took maybe 2 months before I went from 150lbs to 200lbs, it was that quick. The reason was that I was eating sunflower seeds from the minute I woke up until the minute I went to bed.  I was told to keep that hand to mouth going to keep me from wanting a cigarette, but nobody told me how fattening and salty sunflower seeds were.  It wasn’t just that, I also discovered something I rarely ate throughout my life except for those certain special occasions.  Twinkies, ice cream, cake and doughnuts.

You know when you are so proud of yourself for accomplishing something that you want to reward yourself?  Yeah, don’t do that.  I was so proud of myself for quitting that I was literally eating Twinkies and ice cream everyday.  EVERY DAY!  We had a Winchell’s down the street from us and we were constantly going there and buying a dozen and splitting the box and we both would just sit there eating doughnut after doughnut until the box was empty.  Not good!

We would go to McDonald’s and buy one of their birthday cakes and we would literally eat the whole cake by ourselves.  Holy crap!  It was good though.  We didn’t really have a grocery store near us, and the little markets didn’t sell cakes so that was the only place for us to buy cake.  Plus it was really cheap so that’s why we bought it there.

We went to Sizzler in Hollywood and we discovered that they had an all-you-can-eat salad bar.  We took advantage of that because it wasn’t too expensive and we would keep going back until we were full, which you know you shouldn’t do, but you do it because you feel you want to get your moneys worth.  Then one time we went and decided not to get the salad bar, but to get some actual food, so I got Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken.  That was the very first time I had ever had that.  My mother never made it when I was growing up and I never even heard of it before that day.  OH MY GOD!

As the years went on I was getting fatter and fatter.  We discovered Hometown Buffet and Golden Corral.  We couldn’t leave the place unless we were both so full that we literally couldn’t swallow another drop or eat another bite of whatever.

My hunger went off the charts at home.  I would eat a big breakfast and within an hour I was hungry again, so I would eat something.  I would have lunch and the same thing would happen again, I would get hungry, but this wasn’t just a hunger, this was a demand from my stomach.  My stomach would literally hurt, that’s how hungry I would get.  My stomach would grumble and I would feel pain and my hands would start trembling like I was a drug addict and I needed a fix.

I couldn’t just eat a sandwich for lunch, If I did have one, I would still be hungry so I’d make another and I’d probably still be hungry so to have something different I would put 4 hot dogs, yes, you read right, 4 “four” hot dogs in the microwave.  Guess what?  I’d be hungry again an hour later.  My stomach would hurt again and I’d get the shakes.

Whenever we would buy pizza, we always got 2 large pizzas with 2 toppings each, but they had different toppings so we had two choices.  I would usually (to be polite) put one of each on my plate and eat them, but then I’d go to the kitchen and as I was “putting the boxes away” I would eat two more slices, one of each.  In an hour I’d come back to the kitchen and grab one more, then another and another.  We always had enough pizza for lunch the next day, but only because I felt guilty about eating so much so I was saving those last slices lol.

I was going to the grocery store every day to buy our dinner, but I would always leave with an extra goodie that I would eat on the walk home.  Then I started getting greedy and would buy a couple or a few goodies.  I was snarfing a package of Twinkies and a candy bar or two.  I can just imagine what people were thinking as they were passing me while I was holding the grocery bag(s) with one hand, and stuffing my face with the other.

Suddenly I was no longer just 50lbs overweight, I was more than 100lbs overweight and I couldn’t stop my hunger from controlling my life.  I had type-2 diabetes because I was eating so much food and sugar.  I was trying to control my diet by cutting out the sugar, but I was still eating bread and pasta which we all know turns to sugar, so I wasn’t really controlling it like I thought I was.  The hunger, the stomach pains and the shakes were still there, still controlling me.

I want to say it wasn’t my fault because I take medication that has that side effect, but I also had an addiction to food, so I can’t just blame the medication.  When most people think of an eating disorder, they typically think of people who either don’t eat or they eat and then puke it all up, but they are unusually thin.  I have the opposite.  Sorry, I had…  I have to correct myself because that was the old me and I am not that person anymore.

I will be 43 in less than 2 months and I am just now learning how to eat properly.  I mean, I’ve always known, but I ignored it because I wanted to eat poorly because I was selfish and stubborn and stupid.  I didn’t care until I noticed how bad it was getting and how horrible the pain was.  I now know what I have to do to live a healthy lifestyle and I am never going back to that unhealthy place again.

Thanks to the Noom app on my cell phone for helping me to learn what is right to eat and what is wrong, I now can eat healthy food so I can avoid the mistakes I made before.

Since January 5th, 2013 I have lost 50.4lbs officially as of today, April 20th, 2013.  I couldn’t be more happy with my progress.  I feel so much better about myself and I am no longer starving all the time.  I can’t tell you how good it feels to be able to eat a normal portion of food and be satisfied with it.  I don’t live to eat anymore, now I eat to live.

I have set the Noom app to lose 63lbs and according to the estimated end date, I will be finished by June 3rd 2013, but that date changes weekly.  It is so close I can feel it.  I know I will reach this goal and then I can continue to lose more weight.  I don’t want to be fat and unhealthy anymore.  I quit smoking and I don’t drink or do drugs so I don’t have any actual addictions, and now I have kicked my eating addiction so I am officially addiction free.  Well, I am still addicted to Facebook, but I mean come on, who isn’t?  Right?

So… until next week. 🙂

Advertisements

Candy Corn e-Liquid from Zeus E-Juice

When I say that I have a sweet tooth, I’m not joking.  I look forward to October every year for the Candy Corn.  It is one of my guilty pleasures in life.  Some people think that Candy Corn is awful because it’s sickeningly sweet.  Everyone has different taste buds so one person might hate it, while someone else might love it.  I am the one that loves it.

Vaping was one of the ways that was supposed to allow me to indulge my sweet tooth without actually having to buy candy or any other junk food, and still be able to maintain my diet and not gain any weight.  It has worked so far.  This Candy Corn flavored e-liquid from Zeus e-Juice taste almost exactly like Candy Corn, but without the guilt.  You get a lot of flavor in your throat when you vape it.  You actually get flavor on your tongue when your tongue touches the tip, and when your tongue is near the tip as you are taking a drag.  You get the best of both worlds with every hit, without any of the sugar, calories and fat that comes with it.

I would definitely recommend this flavor to anyone who loves Candy Corn.  Just for October 2012, Zeus E-Juice is offering this and 3 other flavors in the 10ML sized bottle for only $3.99 while supplies last.  Don’t forget, if you are a new user, enter the coupon code “iget20” and you get 20% off your first order.  Also, when you are checking out, make sure you let them know that Mike McDonald aka @xanapus sent you.

I personally like 80%PG and 20%VG, the PG gives you more flavor.  I would get 100%PG, but I’ve heard of throat burn from that, so I’d just rather not have to experience that every time I vape.

Disclaimer: I am not a paid spokesperson for Zeus E-Juice, although the owners of the company are Twitter friends of mine and they have given me some of their e-liquid samples to taste.  I review them and tweet about them because I want to, not because they are paying me to.

Disclaimer: I don’t encourage smoking and/or vaping with nicotine, I vape with no nicotine so I am not addicted to anything.  Do not start smoking and do not start vaping if you are under the age of 18 as it is against the law.

If you are a smoker already and want to quit or you want to stop smoking poison and start vaping a healthier substitute, might I suggest heading over to www.Smoktek.com and buying a eGo battery, charger (that is compatible with the battery) and a Changeable Coil Clearomizer in your choice of color with some extra replacement coils.  These flavors are so much better in a Clearomizer than an atomizer with a cartridge.  I suggest you use Zeus E-Juice for all your e-liquids because they are simply the best because they add more flavor than their competitors and it’s the least expensive you can buy anywhere else.

My Christmas List

Dear Santa Claus,

Hey dawg, long time no see.  I haven’t seen you since the mid 80′s.  Actually the last thing you ever got me was a carton of cigarettes when I was 16 years old.  Yeah, uh, I meant to tell you that I appreciated not having to spend the money on them anyway but that wasn’t exactly on my list for that particular year.  I think I would’ve rather just had a lump of coal.

I’m 40 now and I think I’ve been a very good little boy, go ahead, check  your list there.  See me?

Here is my new updated top 10 list of things that I would like to have for Christmas this year.

  1. A new pair of eyeballs so that I don’t have to wear glasses anymore.
  2. A new pair of hands/arms so I don’t have carpel tunnel syndrome anymore.
  3. A new spine so I don’t have arthritis in my back anymore.
  4. The fountain of youth at least to stop the wrinkles that are starting to form in my hands and on my face.
  5. A new tongue with all new taste buds and all new food cravings so I crave healthy foods instead of junk foods all the time.
  6. Energy and motivation to lose weight so I don’t have sleep apnea anymore.
  7. A new liver since mine has been abused by all the medicines I’ve been taking over the last 16 years to stay alive.
  8. Give me the patience and strength to put up with people who want to bring me down day in and day out.
  9. A closer relationship with my friends and family and maybe even more blog readers.
  10. And finally Santa, I’d like a new dish pan because mine is falling apart.

What did you think #10 would be?  Peace on earth?  I’m already making 9 unrealistic requests, the least I could  do is ask for something practical that might be sold at Macy’s.