Tech Support…

A friend sent this email to me today, it’s hilarious.  I’m copying and pasting it into this blog post, editing it a bit to make it easier to read.  This ought to give you a good chuckle.

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one…

Customer: Hi, this is Celine .. I can’t get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.

Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry…

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.

Tech support: Would you click on ‘start’ for me and….

Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates..

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.

Customer: I have problems printing in red..

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: ! OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah that one does work..

Tech support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I’m writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’

And last but not least…

Tech support: ‘Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’

Customer: I don’t have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: ‘P’…..on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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