Month: August 2010

Tech Support…

On By Michel McDonaldIn Humor, JokeLeave a comment

A friend sent this email to me today, it’s hilarious.  I’m copying and pasting it into this blog post, editing it a bit to make it easier to read.  This ought to give you a good chuckle.

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one…

Customer: Hi, this is Celine .. I can’t get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.

Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry…

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.

Tech support: Would you click on ‘start’ for me and….

Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates..

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it.

Customer: I have problems printing in red..

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: ! OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah that one does work..

Tech support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry… Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I’m writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: ‘No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.’

And last but not least…

Tech support: ‘Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.’

Customer: I don’t have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: ‘P’…..on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

My July SparkPeople Trophies

On By Michel McDonaldIn Diet, SparkPeopleLeave a comment

I got a nice surprise tonight, special trophies for July. These aren’t the normal trophy that you see everyday. I’ve been a member of SparkPeople since 2007 and I’ve never gotten any special trophies like this. I like to think that I was consistent and had good attendance in June but I guess not.

The emails I got didn’t explain why I got each trophy, it just shows that I got them. I think the consistency one is for putting in my daily nutrition and being a good 1500 calories +/-, perfect attendance for logging in every day for spark points and maybe the 500 monthly spark points one is for earning 500 points in July.

I think the point of these is to keep me motivated so that maybe next month in the beginning of September I will get some August special trophies.

Brussells Sprouts

On By Michel McDonaldIn Diet, FoodLeave a comment

Growing up my mother served this vegetable at least once a week.  Brussels Sprouts was a very good idea to give to children to help them get their veggies.  However, my stepdad tainted them for me by calling them “Monkey Balls”.  I didn’t mind the taste of them but the more I thought about the image of monkey testicles in my head the less appealing they were for me.  I would eat them because I had to, I didn’t want to upset mother but at the same time the image in my head was unappealing to me so they became disgusting.

Since I was thrown out onto the streets at the age of 17 I have vowed to never eat them or even think about them again.  Well, it’s been 23 years and I think that I’ve grown enough to get over it.

I didn’t know when they were in season and Albertson’s has had them for a little over a week now so I assume July is their season(?).  I’ve been waiting for them to carry them in the produce (not frozen) section so that I could steam them and last night I finally got that chance.

I posted on my Facebook wall “Cooking a healthy dinner. 4oz boneless skinless chicken breast with 1/2 cup white rice and 3 large Brussels Sprouts. Yum yum.” and got quite a lot of responses.  Nobody ever responds to my wall posts but I guess that one struck a chord.  Apparently people love these balls.  The conversation ended with 20 responses with 2 people “liking” that post.

I discovered in this conversation that it is ok to steam them as long as I keep an eye on them.  I steamed them in the rice cooker with white rice cooking below and the timing was perfect.  When the rice was finished and the steamer button popped to “warming”, the sprouts were finished.  When I cook brown rice and steam veggies, the brown rice takes longer and over steams the veggies so it’s good to know that white rice cooking time is precise.

We only bought 10 sprouts at the store and we each had 3 last night (they were huge) and Darrin loved them so much he ate the rest this morning so we will need to get more.  Although, I don’t want to make this an everyday vegetable, I don’t want to get sick of them too fast.

I have gotten over the name “Monkey Balls” and it’s a good thing because they are only 7 calories per sprout.  Hello!  7 Calories!  That’s awesome.

Open Letter to Target and Best Buy

On By Michel McDonaldIn Gay Rights, PoliticalLeave a comment

Thanks to my new addiction to Twimbow and my subscription to @helloross, I have discovered that there is an injustice happening with Target and Best Buy.

Here is the email that they wanted me to send out after I signed the petition.  It will explain what’s happening better than I can.

“Hey,

I’m not sure if you’ve heard this yet, but Target and Best Buy have together contributed over $250,000 to a political group working to elect a candidate for Governor of Minnesota with ties to a Christian rock band that advocates violence and death to gays.  Will you join me in signing on to this open letter asking them to make it right by donating an equal amount to pro-equality candidates?  http://bit.ly/9tqNLm“

Ok, I’m thinking that Target and Best Buy had no idea that the candidate they were donating to had ties to this christian rock band who hates gay people.  I’m sure they were just donating to the candidate they wanted to help win so I really don’t blame them.  However, if they did know about it then I don’t appreciate it as a gay man.

Because I am not sure whether it was intentional or not, I have to say goodbye to Target and Best Buy (not that I ever shopped there anyway) until they make things right by donating the same amount of money to a pro-equality candidate to cancel out their previous donation.

What’s sad is that I am boycotting Wal-Mart because of their douchy practices toward gay and lesbians and people in general and for being the reason mom and pop shops had to close down.  Target was my backup store.  When I wanted something that I normally went to Wal-Mart for, I would go to Target instead.  So now, neither of them get any of my money.

I hope that whoever reads this signs the petition.  Here is also a letter to Target and Best Buy that you can print and bring to the store managers of those stores, although I don’t know anyone who will actually do that lol.  But here it is anyway.

Thanks for listening.