Bike riding

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I just love riding my bicycle on the Bakersfield bike trail. I usually start riding in March or April depending on the weather. I don’t like to ride when it is too cold because I get sick easily. When it’s still cool outside I will go out in the mornings when the sun is up because it’s just warm enough and I might get a little tanned in the spring. In the summer, I go out before the sun comes up because it gets too hot and I get a heat stroke out in the middle of nowhere, so I try to avoid that.

A few years ago I bought a few things to help me out on the bike trail. I have 2 skull caps that are supposed to keep my face dry. They soak up all the sweat so it doesn’t drip down my face and onto my glasses. It sucks to have to keep pulling over to wipe my glasses dry. I will wear 1 during the first half of my trip and switch to the dry one when I’m turning around to head back home.

A Camelbak which is like a backpack, but it holds 3 liters of water that I can drink from through a hose that is attached to the shoulder strap. When I need water, I simply grab it and put it in my mouth which only takes my hand off the handlebar for a second. When I’m done, I simply let go with my mouth and the hose drops. When I have to use a bottle, I have to reach down to grab it which can make me lose balance and ride into the sidewalk or a moving car. That hasn’t happened, but I worry it will someday.

I have your typical biking gear like fingerless gloves meant for people with carpal tunnel syndrome. Bib shorts and sports shirts that both wick away the moisture from my sweat. I have my regular walking shoes because they work just fine for me. I recently bought a new pump because I can’t afford to keep buying Co2 cartridges because they are really expensive and they only work once. Finally the most essential accessory, a helmet with a rear view mirror attached.

My bike has been out of commission because the tubes kept deflating every day and I didn’t know why. I pulled the tubes out and checked for holes, but never found any to patch up. I was getting very frustrated that every morning I would get ready to go only to have to put air in the completely deflated tubes. I used a box of 30 Co2 cartridges in a month. I would fill the tires before I left the house, but then I had to fill them again while I was on the bike trail. It really ruins the fun of it when you spend your entire session worrying about the tubes deflating.

I went to Target this week and bought 2 new tubes and a new pump with a gauge on it. I didn’t need the tubes because both tubes filled with air and are still inflated after several days. Now that is frustrating to me.

Well, I am taking care of my partner who just had spinal surgery and he requires 24 hour attention, so exercise will have to wait until he is able to walk to the bathroom on his own. But as soon as he is healed up, I will be ready to go out and get exercise. In the meantime, it is up to me to ride my bike to the store for groceries, so I’m trying to use that as an excuse to ride the bike as much as possible. It will also get my legs used to the exercise so when I do go out on the bike trail, my legs will be able to handle 2 hours of constant riding. So the store runs are good practice. Which reminds me, I need to run to Food Maxx now 😉 .

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My diet disaster

I’m feeling very dumb these days because I am making the worst possible food choices and I can’t seem to stop gaining weight.

Last year I lost 70lbs and I bragged and my partner bragged, and we keep bragging despite the fact that I only lost 70lbs in 6 months time, and then stopped because I couldn’t seem to lose any more, so I slowly started gaining the weight back. That was 1 year ago almost exactly and I am 30lbs heavier now.

Here’s why. I know this is going to come off as blaming other people and I need to take responsibility for my own actions, but it’s really hard when you understand my situation. My partner isn’t on a diet. Plain and simple. He wants to go to buffets and eat ice cream and cookies and chips and this and that. I can pretend that I don’t want to eat those things, but let’s face it, I’m an addict. If you took an alcoholic to a bar during a beer bust, what do you expect them to drink while you drink beer? Milk? No, they are going to drink beer. If you live with a heroin addict and you bring home some heroin, what do you expect them to do? Watch you? No, they are also going to do heroin. So you simply cannot expect to bring a food addict to an all you can eat buffet and expect them to eat 1 plate with nothing but veggies, because that isn’t going to happen. They are going to leave that buffet feeling like they want to vomit during the ride home.

I spent all year last year faithfully eating weight watchers smart ones frozen dinners, fruits, veggies and denying myself treats that I love to eat. When the plateau hits and the next 6 months is all work with no payoff, you feel betrayed and you wonder why bother and then start slipping and eating whatever the heck you wanted. Well, that’s exactly what happened to me.

Again, I’m not trying to blame this on anyone because I’ve done it to myself, I realize that I can say no and I need to start saying it more often.

A week or so ago I started my Noom diet from scratch and then my birthday came and I ate cake and ice cream, buffet, chips, bread… And today someone brought me a Marie Calendars pie.  Chip doesn’t like lemon because it gives him acid reflux, so I ate nearly half of the pie on my own. I’m out of freaking control! I gave the other half of the pie to a neighbor because I just can’t take it anymore. I’m starting to look fat again. I looked in the mirror and my face is getting plump and so is my neck. I just can’t keep going like this anymore!!!

Tomorrow I am going to ride my bicycle to Food Maxx and I am going to buy 20 Weight Watchers frozen dinners for myself and 20 Michelina frozen dinners for my partner since he will eat anything and those are way cheaper. I can’t print the Weight Watchers coupons until my printer head and ink come next week, so I will have to deal with losing $6 – $8 from the lack of coupons because I just cannot let this wait another day. I need to take my life back and make better choices.I refuse to get fat again dammit!

For breakfast I will enjoy what I eat every morning, only this time I will measure my food. After breakfast, once I’ve had enough coffee in my system I will get on my bike and ride to Food Maxx and buy healthy frozen food and more generic crystal light. I’ll also buy some apples and oranges for snacks. I’ve been eating bananas every day, but I need to add other fruits so it’s less boring.

I always say that people will change their lives when they are ready, but the people we live with need to respect that and not tease us by putting bad things in front of us. I wouldn’t sabotage someone with what they are addicted to, so I expect to be treated with the same respect.

Anyway, rant over. I will hope to do my best and stick to my new diet starting tomorrow. Also, riding the bicycle is a huge help because it’s exercise. I will also start riding my bike again on the bike trail, but I will need new lights first. Target has rechargeable lights for $30 which I am saving for. I don’t have the money now, so I will have to ride after the sun comes out, not before. I’ll need all the will power I can muster.