I know that every time something embarrassing happens to me I always say that it is the most embarrassing moment in my life but I have to say that those don’t even compare to what happened to me today.
Ok so we went to Albertson’s this morning before Darrin dropped me off at the doctors off before he went to work. He bought some toothpaste because we were out and he also grabbed a 1 liter bottle of flavored water for himself and 1 for me too. So he drops me off at the doctor’s office and I go in, sign in, sit down and am watching TV and waiting patiently to be called. Then tragedy struck.
You know when you have a room temperature bottle of sparkling water or soda or something and you unscrew the cap and it starts to fizz up so you have to open then close the lid over and over because if you don’t it explodes all over the place? I had already done that and taken a sip or 2 out of the water. Well, I was sitting there just watching TV and I opened the lid and all was fine, no fizzing occurred. I put the bottle up to my mouth and it just exploded all over me. OMG!
My whole front was completely soaking wet. At first I thought it was a dream, I must be sleeping still at home. I’m asleep and the people in the waiting room don’t even acknowledge my existence here. Unfortunately, the realization came over me that I was indeed awake and there were other people in the waiting room staring at me. The only thing that I could say was “that did not just happen to me”.
When it happened it was just so fast, so all of a sudden. I wasn’t expecting that to happen, although I guess nobody does really. I tried stopping it by pressing my lips around the bottle but the pressure built up in my mouth and I had to let go so I put my finger in the bottle as if I were a little dutch boy trying to stop the flow of water in the hole in a dam.
So desperately I went over to the door and started knocking on it and I heard Donna say hang on and I’m like ok, this is sort of an emergency, I need someone to please assist in my suicide lol. So she opens the door and I walk in and she had this look on her face like OMG what happened. I said my water exploded all over me. She said it looks like I peed then threw up all over my shirt (as if I had a liquid lunch lol there were no chunks, just water). I went to the bathroom and blotted as much as I could but no matter how many paper towels I used, I wouldn’t come out of it dry.
So then I went back to the door to the waiting room and said please don’t make me go back out there. Then Jennifer comes along and sees me and I thought it would be funny to tell her “I’m really nervous today” at which point her jaw hit the ground. She knows that I would never piss my pants and she saw the water bottle so she started laughing. I told her my best course of action is to just pour the rest of it down the front of my shorts to even it out lol.
But luckily it started drying fast and by the time I left the doctor’s office my shorts were completely dry. So at least I didn’t have to ride the bus with wet shorts on. I guess this is my karma for talking trash about the Jonas Brothers the other night. But in my defense I did delete it before anyone could see what a jerk I was. Then again I’m sure a few people saw it in the 2 minutes it took me to decide to delete it, but I doubt it.